Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Black Sheep on April 04, 2006, 12:23:48 AM
-
Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-
Chuck Norris is so gay he makes Richard Simmons look macho.
-
No Jackel, only those who post and believe the chuck norris stuff are. :p
-
Met him once at the 82nd ABN Recondo course Aug '76. He's okay, great sense of humor.
Mac
How's it going Mav?
-
Someday, Chuck Norris is going to snap the neck of everyone that keeps recirculating this olden e-mail just by pointing his finger and saying "NERDS!"
-
Yeah Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, he was counting Jack Bauer's kills.
-
Chuck Norris is real, Jack Bauer fictional.. :huh
-
Originally posted by MrRiplEy[H]
Chuck Norris is real, Jack Bauer fictional.. :huh
You LIE!!! Who paid you to say that??
:noid
-
chuck norris would waste you in a heart beat.
-
instead of sending money to the IRS, Chuck Norris sends a photo of himself in the attack position. Chuck Norris has never payed his taxes EVER.
Chuck Norris invented a time machine and went back in time to stop the kennedy assasination. Chuck met and deflected all three of Oswald's bullets. Kennedy's head exploded in amazement.
-
this is from the "Farm Animals" thread some months ago.
Chuck Norris would not have any vulnerability, to even MOABs. he would be available in 3 different varients: one on a motorcycle with lots of guns, one that walks and has lots of guns, and one unarmed one that can roundhouse kick planes out of the sky up to 30k.
Chuck Norris knocked skylab out of orbit, screw that gravity bull****.
Chuck Norris invented gravity, and he can also make it disappear.
Did you know that Chuck Norris was the only AA gun in England during the Battle of Britain? He shot down German bombers by pointing at them and saying "bang!"
Chuck Norris was still a prototype during the BoB. He (designated XCN-1) saw only limited use, and is credited with no bomber kills. He did, however, utilize a new magazine configuration, allowing him to fire 4,000 rounds from the 60rd drums used in the earlier Spitfire models, without ever having to reload.
A UK man ate a chicken named Chuck Norris once, he was constipated for well over a month.
During the second BoB which many historians fail to note. It was in fact about 3 minute's long. This model (XCN-2) was in fact faulty. The scientists that decommisioned it were roundhouse kicked multiple times afterwords, by XCN-2's lone leg, no body attached. Most of them escaped with minor concussions and several bruises, however, due to bad wiring the leg and subsequent body parts fizzled out very slowly in a pit of smoke. Today we call this place the Dead Sea. (Yes, the early Chuck Norris models we're powered by sodium, it has long been a mystery as to how sodium was used as a fuel). The second BoB was a major deterrent to Goering and almost cost him his life.
The CN-2 was emensly successfull durring the normandy invasion. It is a little known fact that the Luftwaffe was not present because the allies had deployed a CN-2 battery to defend the beach.
It is one of the biggest cover ups in history, but Hitler didn't shoot himself. He was infact tea-bagged to death by the Chuck Norris commando team. It was made up of one man: Chuck Norris. The CNC-1 (Chuck Norris Commando) was developed as a joint venture by the SAS, SOE, OSS, Richard Nixon and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. After seeing what devistation the CNC-1 wreaked on Europe, FDR decided to drop the atomic bomb on Japan instead of the CNC-1 because it would be more humane. Shortly thereafter FDR died of a roundhouse kick related death. But the decision had already been made to drop the bomb and the rest is history.
An original creation by Nirvana, Selector, Hubs, and myself.
-
Doin good Mac, Hooking up the rig tomorrow and headed to OK. Texarkana Thursday then Stillwater on Friday weather permitting. We'll be in that area at least 2 weeks. Think we can get together in that time frame?