Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Karnak on January 31, 2001, 11:38:00 AM
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22 RULES FOR BEING A GOOD REPUBLICAN IN 21st CENTURY AMERICA
1) You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was
due entirely to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that
yesterday's gas prices are all Clinton's fault.
2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all
on their own.
3) You have to be against government programs, but expect your Social
Security checks on time.
4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives,
yet you want government to regulate only opposite-gender marriages and what
your official language should be.
5) You have to believe that pollution is OK, so long as it makes a profit.
6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as people don't pray to
Allah, Krishna or Buddha.
7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
8) You have to believe that women cannot be trusted with decisions about
their own bodies, but that large multinational corporations should have no
regulation or interference whatsoever.
9) You know you love Jesus and that Jesus loves you and that Jesus shares
your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
10) You have to believe that society is colorblind and growing up black in
America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for
Alan Keyes.
11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend
$50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. president has
ever been unfaithful to his wife.
12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is
bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all
Americans.
13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because
we all know if teenagers don't have condoms, they won't have sex.
14) You have to believe that the American Civil Liberties Union is bad
because they defend the Constitution, while the National Rifle Association
is good because they defend the Constitution.
15) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that
Europe doesn't exist.
16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve
federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the
public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we just ignore it,
it will go away.
17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of
6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible,
which is full of sex and violence, is good reading.
18) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more
Americans than private handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.
19) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts
for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid
for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all,
the rich can afford to buy their own and the poor don't need any.
20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old
growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the
extinction of the
several species of plants and animals therein.
21) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt
Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston for their marital infidelities, but
that bastard Clinton should be impeached.
22) You have to believe that the Federal Government should always respect
the sovereign rights of the States to determine and define their own laws,
except when you need to elect a Republican as President.
If you conservatves can dish it I'm sure you can take it as well.
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/tongue.gif)
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We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother
Sisu
-Karnak
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Hehe, Good one Karnak. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif) Too bad you actually believe all the above..
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Originally posted by Karnak:
9) You know you love Jesus and that Jesus loves you and that Jesus shares
your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is
bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all
Americans.
15) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that
Europe doesn't exist.
22) You have to believe that the Federal Government should always respect
the sovereign rights of the States to determine and define their own laws,
except when you need to elect a Republican as President.
Answers:
9) Jesus hates Clinton? I gotta start going to church again! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
12)A 7 minute waiting period should be plenty. (See Simpsons NRA episode)
15) Are you actually advocating socialism? LOL No comment. Please forward 60% of your next paycheck to the IRS as a good-faith advance.
22)I believe that as much as I believe that Al Gore really really REALLY just wanted "every vote to be counted." ROFLMAO (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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LJK_Raubvogel
LuftJägerKorps (http://www.luftjagerkorps.com)
(http://raubvogel.tripod.com/signew.gif)
[This message has been edited by LJK Raubvogel (edited 01-31-2001).]
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Amazing Karnak! You actually were able to read Eagler's mind! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Pukka!
Mk
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Disgusting Karnak. Are you really that much of a bigot or is this some kind of a joke?
[This message has been edited by funked (edited 01-31-2001).]
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Rules for being a good Democrat
1) You gulliable enough to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due entirely to the work of Clinton's.
2) You believe that those that don't achieve success all on their own is due to some form of discrimination.
3) You expect government programs to help out the poor rather than the poor getting help from local charities.
4) You think that government should be more involved in people's lives since they know best, and think opposite-gender marriages are okay and those folks are good teachers of the youth in America on moral values.
5) You have to believe that pollution is not OK, and don't give a damn about having power to your house so long as the Spotted owl and Belogus Boweivel survive as a species, never mind that your child may die in the process, because animals rate higher than human lives.
6) You don't believe in prayer in schools, but its okay to encourage students to be artistic with cow dung on the Mother Mary, and expect the taxpayers to flip the bill.
7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins, yet believe blocking porn is against the 1st amendmant.
8) You have to believe that women can be trusted with decisions about their own bodies, and justify it with yet more taxes from those who are anti-abortion to flip the bill for killing unborn children of those who do believe in choice.
9) You feel that Jesus is a threat to society and that AIDS victims are just that, victims, not a result of their own abnormal behavior.
10) You have to believe that society is racist and that a person should be judged by the color of their skin rather than the content of their character but you still won't hammar on Colin Powel as being not fit for the job.
11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow the US prosecuting attourney to spend $50 million dollars to punish a free-enterprize company like microsoft, yet defend Bill Clintons' lying under oath.
12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is good and even more gun laws (that won't be enforced like current gun laws) are good for the country, yet only the criminals would circumnavigate any written law, thus leaving more victims for the criminals to prey on.
13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms in schools, because we all know that democrats wouldn't want to take the time and responsibility to actual teach ethics to children.
14) You have to believe that the American Civil Liberties Union is good since they they defend criminals, while the National Rifle Association is considered no good because they defend the Constitution.
15) You actually believe that socialism is working in Europe, yet you haven't actually given up 75% of your paycheck to help others yet either...
16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is important enough to deserves federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate yet you choose to ignore changing behaviorial patterns in sexual lives...yet more people die of Cancer than any other disease we have today.
17) You have to believe that biology teachers are not corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but believe the Bible is full of sex and violence, with no moral authority and should be prohibited reading.
18) You have to believe that Chinese secrets released by the Clinton adminstration will have no ill effect 20 years down the road, and believe that handguns, alcohol, and tobacco will kill more people than a 20 megaton nuclear weapon.
19) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid
for by governments, our government should not shun anything that shows cow dung spread over the picture of the Virgin Mary, or a Cross of Jesus in urine is a fine example of art. After all, the rich Democrats can afford to buy their own and the poor don't need any.
20) You have to believe that the prevention of extinction of the several species of plants and animals is more more valuable than keeping a baby warm and dry, and alive.
21) You have to believe that we should forgive Clinton for his marital infidelities, but that bastard Reagan was the worst thing that ever happened to this country.
22) You have to believe that the Federal Government should always respect the sovereign rights of the States to determine and define their own laws, except if your democrat president elect is in danger of losing an election, than new laws should be created on-the-fly to make sure your pres-elect gets voted in.
23) You believe that regardless that 3 million votes Plus were thrown out nation wide in the election, that only those in 4 democratic counties carry more weight than the rest of the country.
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#23. You have to believe Rush Limbaugh is an honest truthful person.
#24. You must believe and spout the ratpooplican party propaganda at every opportunity.
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haha karnak -touche - good stuff
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#26. You believe James Carvel is an honest truthful person.
#27. You must believe and spout the Demorat party propaganda at every opportunity.
#28. Your primary news source is CNN.
#29. You secretly hate Limbaugh because everthing he predicted in 1992 came true in the last 8 years.
(Sidenote: I don't listen to Limbaugh, and the times I have caught his program, I find him more of an entertainer and good 'Card Reader of the future' than a serious republican), hehe!)
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Whew! I dodged another label!
Fury
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22 RULES FOR BEING A GOOD Democrat[list=1]
- You believe that 7 of the last 8 years of prosperity were because of Democrat leadership, but the last year's recession was due to the fact that people realized Clinton was no longer going to be president.
- You believe that those privileged from birth owe the rest of the world because of it.
- You feel that even more government programs are needed to ensure your social security checks arrive on time.
- You believe the government should stay out of people's lives, but insist it monitors the actions of every white hetrosexual male to ensure they are not commiting hate crimes against the majority of the nation.
- You believe that polution needs to be stopped at all costs, even if it means the extinction of the human race... Yet you still drive your 81 Volvo that pumps out more VOC's than an average factory does in a day.
- You support prayer in schools, as long as it is only prayer to Allah, Krishna or Buddha.
- You believe that since your teenagers are 15, they have already had sex. You just hope the school system taught them the correct contraceptive messures... if not, oh well.. there is always abortion.
- You believe that all women are capable of making rational decisions regarding their own bodies and that said decision will be based on the most noble of intentions.
- You believe that aids is spreading so rampantly because research isn't being funded enough and not because of promescuity amongst the victims.
- You'd still vote for Jesse Jackson as president simply because he is black.
- You believe that if a Republican had been in office and been exposed to the same scandals as Clinton, the Democrats would not have pursued any action against him.
- You believe that any firearm purchase occurs simply because someone is intending to commit a crime with that firearm.
- You believe that handing a teenager a condom does nothing to increase the chance of sexual activity.
- You believe that the National Rifle Association is bad because they defend the constitution, but the ACLU is good because they defend the constitution.
- You believe that socialism has worked so well everywhere that it has been tried that we should do the same here.
- You believe that AIDs is killing more people per year than Cancer or Heart disease and should receive more government funding.. statistics be damned.
- You believe that 6th grade biology teachers have somehow become the portal through which all that is sexual must be discussed.
- You believe that American private handguns, alcohol and tobacco have killed more people than Chinese Communists.
- You believe that in the last 5000 years the same governments cited for supporting the arts have never discriminated/executed/persecuted artists for not doing things in a manner deemed apropriate.
- You believe that planting spikes in trees that can severely injure/kill lumberjacks is acceptable if even one tree can be spared as a result.
- You believe that religous leaders actions are comparable to the President's, yet you still try to maintain separation of church and state.
- You believe that Al Gore really wanted all votes to be counted.[/list=a]
[This message has been edited by AKDejaVu (edited 01-31-2001).]
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#29. You secretly hate Limbaugh because everthing he predicted in 1992 came true in the last 8 years.
I don't secretly hate the puss bag, I openly despise the lying piece of toejam. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
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Yup, that was pretty bigoted stuff there, Karnak. I do hope you are kidding, though I saw no reason to believe so.
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Anyone remember my post regarding finding some common ground between the parties and working together? Guess that's out of the question once a Republican president is elected...;P
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Rules for being a good Democrat
1) DIE!
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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I thought the whole thread was funny!
More! More!
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Hahaha
Soo true.
This is fun.
nice to see the republicans being attacked in a joke.
Heh, you laugh when the democrats are under attack and say it's a joke but take this one seriously? Except rip, which is way cool (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif).
<buys rip a beer>
This is a FUN duel. Keep it up guys, both sides (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif).
<eats popcorn>
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Baron Claus "StSanta" Von Ribbentroppen
9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
(http://store4.yimg.com/I/demotivators_1619_3845234)
"I don't necessarily agree with everything I think." - A. Eldritch
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Originally posted by Mk10 225th:
Amazing Karnak! You actually were able to read Eagler's mind! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Pukka!
Mk
When it comes to my political views, it's pretty easy reading (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Eagler
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I highly suggest that everyone, Democrat and Republican, take the time to read this book, its excellent.
http://www.mountainstateslegal.com/hero_book_offer.htm#overview (http://www.mountainstateslegal.com/hero_book_offer.htm#overview)
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I would reply to the comments made by Karnak, but then those comments would of course have to be interpreted. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/wink.gif)
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GEEZ, KARNAK, YOU STILL WAISTING POWER THERE IN CA?? YOU GREEDY GLOB OF HUMAN CELLS!!!
GREED!!!!
GREED!!!!!!
GREEED!!!
SAVE THE WHALES, SAVE THE FORREST,SAVE THE POWER!!!!!
Turn your puter off!!!!!
(http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
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If you guys actually think that I believe that kind of junk you're not thinking very hard. This list is the same kind of semi amusing roadkill that you Conservatives are so fond of posting. I have never thought that you guys actually believed the contents of those lists. I posted this one, as MrFish noted, as a return jibe.
I do note that you guys are a good deal touchier though.
Most of what these lists contain can, I believe, be found as the honest-to-God opinions of some fringe person or other. However I doubt that you could ever find somebody who has beliefs matching the entire contents of any of one of these lists. I know that some people (on both sides) think some of these things because of talked to them.
<S>
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We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother
Sisu
-Karnak
[This message has been edited by Karnak (edited 01-31-2001).]
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Originally posted by jihad:
#29. You secretly hate Limbaugh because everthing he predicted in 1992 came true in the last 8 years.
I don't secretly hate the puss bag, I openly despise the lying piece of toejam. (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)
Do you listen to him?
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number 18 is the only one i just cant believe a adult could post and expect to have any credibility at all.
chinese comunists havent killed one percent as many americans as private hanguns tobacco and alcohol . akdejavu. you are really scary does reality even touch your though process? or is hate filled bile your only consideration.
"18. You believe that American private handguns, alcohol and tobacco have killed more people than Chinese Communists"
the others are equally b.s. but that one is just dumb racist and mean spirited.
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not true karnak
if i had to pick a political party, id probably say im a republican, but i am quite pro environment, and do not agree with president bush's policies on this issue.
however, i am very anti social programs, in that i think it is up to a man to take care of himself, not mankind's responsibility to foot the bill for others.
all social programs should be funded through tax deductable private contributions, not mandatory taxation, IMO.
I agree with republicans on the issue of abortion, once a woman has conceived a child (using her free will) she (and her partner) are then charged with the responibility of raising that child. I have numerous adopted friends who would not be here today if their mothers had been immoral and had an abortion.
I agree with democrats on many issues too tho. I think we should have national healthcare for children under 18, and for pre-natal care for mothers. Without this, we can't really abolish abortion, since it is not fair IMO to require the mother to give birth bt not help with the costs in case of poverty.
Healthcare for adults should be the responsibility of the individuals.
I am a christian, but I don't believe sex out of wedlock is immoral as long as you take responsibility for your actions. Some may say that makes me an "a la carte" christian or "a la carte" republican or whatever, but taking teh best ideas from both parties or sides is really the way to go.
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Zigrat,
Read my 2nd post. Its 3 posts above yours.
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We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother
Sisu
-Karnak
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chinese comunists havent killed one percent as many americans as private hanguns tobacco and alcohol . akdejavu. you are really scary does reality even touch your though process? or is hate filled bile your only consideration.
I said people numnuts.. not Americans.
AKDejaVu
[This message has been edited by AKDejaVu (edited 01-31-2001).]
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Eagler, good show old man!
Thank goodness it seems as if you're one of the right-wingers here that understood the humor of the whole post.
Gee-whiz, I haven't gotten upset when the "radical right" gives us toejam, and it's neat to see that one of the Republican Protaganists got a kick out of a humorous post.
<S!> Eagler, and may we always continue to disagree in an humorous, honorable fashion.
For the rest of you easily-upset folks...take a long, hot bubble bath.
Oh, and I probably spelled that "humor" word wrong. After all, I am a product of non-Bush enforced religeous schooling.
Mk
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Mietla asked:
Do you listen to him?
I used to listen to him, even read some of the propaganda he published.
I had a fairly high opinion of him until I figured out he was a liar and a piece of sub-human refuse.
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Bill O'Reily rules! (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/biggrin.gif)
- Bess
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From:
http://www.taipeitimes.com/news/2000/05/25/story/0000037415 (http://www.taipeitimes.com/news/2000/05/25/story/0000037415)
"Two new biographies of Mao have recently been published. One is Mao Zedong by the well-known scholar and author Jonathan Spence; the other is Mao: A Life by British journalist Philip Short....
Both express their shock over the massive scale of turbulence incited by Mao. According to a figure quoted by Mao in Spence's book, about 700,000 landlords and counter-revolutionaries were killed in the "land reform movement" between 1950 to 1952. During the "Great Leap Forward" of 1960 and 1961, 20 million people died of starvation.
According to Spence, millions more died in the Cultural Revolution, while Short estimates the death toll at about 23 to 35 million.
Short concludes that Mao caused more deaths than any other political leader in world history. He says the sins of Mao were even graver than those of Stalin and Hitler."
Going to have to go some to top that, I think.
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Weren't there even hints of cannibalism attributed to Mao?
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Originally posted by jihad:
Mietla asked:
Do you listen to him?
I used to listen to him, even read some of the propaganda he published.
I had a fairly high opinion of him until I figured out he was a liar and a piece of sub-human refuse.
you seem to bit obsessed with a man. You are like Cato the Elder with his "delenda est Carthago", except that yours is "delenda est Limbaugh" (http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/Smileys/default/smile.gif)