Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Neubob on May 04, 2006, 02:08:14 AM
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Was watching a show on the Discovery Channel, called Future Weapons, and was very interested to see the future of artillery. This NLOS (Non-Line of Sight) mobile artillery unit is capable of firing 155mm shells at a rate of 6-10 per minute, reloading and recalibrating its barrel for new trajectories all without any physical labor on the part of the operators. So quick is the reloading system that the unit can fire up to six projectiles, at varying trajectories and powder loads, so that all 6 land on the same target simultaneously.
Now, as impressive as this unit is, it doesn't really hold a candle to the MWIAB AH weapons system, first conceived in Russia in the early 80s, this technology can do the seemingly impossible. It can siphon up to 10 thousand dollars out of our joint bank account, then, upon discovery and subsequent confrontation, can drink up to three glasses of wine, in quick succession, consume some light cigarettes, and proceed to argue that it was all my fault--all in just over 45 minutes! This system, otherwise known as the My Wife Is A B***h, Anti-Husband unit, can systematically obliterate all existing bridges its foe has built with the outside world for communication and supply purposes, justify the act, and continue to leech off its target until the foe is all but wiped out. Amazingly, in the process of disabling both self-esteem and self-actuation elements of the enemy, the MWIAB AH weapons system will actually become physically and emotionally closer to its target, making itself seem like the only worthwhile and true thing in the target's life. When the target is at its weakest, this formidable weapons system will then go in for the kill, vanquish the enemy by sending him packing to a hotel, and hop a quick plane back to the motherland, a ghastly little Chihuahua in one hand and a 2 carat engagement ring in the other.
The only weapons system that can defeat the MWIAB Anti-Husband unit is the risky but effective BOS(Bottle of Stoli), .750 L, chilled to just below freezing.
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A close runner up to the MWIAB would be the MDII weapon system "My Daughter is insane" a weakness with this system would be having to bail its HIAA "husband is an stunninghunk" support system out of jail once a month to keep it functional.. This system has impressive bank account leaching capabilities similar to the MWIAB system... But once functional and supported properly it is wrecking ball.. I find that the oil changing recognition system is non existent though requiring close monitoring of the delivery vehicle.
TJ
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Neubob has a Russian mail order woman that speaks 2 words of english and will leave him after 5 years of "blissful" marriage?
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Originally posted by Neubob
Now, as impressive as this unit is, it doesn't really hold a candle to the MWIAB AH weapons system, first conceived in Russia in the early 80s,
:lol
Neubob, I had an earlier model of the MWIAB, conceived in Oregon in the early 60's. After 5 years I finally returned it to the manufacture but they wouldnt give me a refund and I had to continue making monthly payments for about 15 years
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"RUSSIAN WIAB'S, OREGON WIAB'S, ALL WIAB'S ARE THE SAME..."
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Originally posted by nirvana
Neubob has a Russian mail order woman that speaks 2 words of english and will leave him after 5 years of "blissful" marriage?
This system was not mailordered, although it may as well have been, and it's pretty fluent in three languages, including English. I made the mistake of myself being Russian, so I was naturally drawn to the power of the Russian MWIAB system. This one's creators were rich customs officials, and thus, its support system is rather frightening and potentially deadly in its own right.
Oh yeah, and we've only been married 9 months. I doubt there will be a first anniversary.
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Neubob I saw it last night too......I want one of those hand guns!! a three shot burst in a hand gun would be cool!!
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Originally posted by Kaw1000
Neubob I saw it last night too......I want one of those hand guns!! a three shot burst in a hand gun would be cool!!
Seems cool.. but what happens if the gun gets wet. Water and electric items don't work well together.
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Originally posted by nuchpatrick
Seems cool.. but what happens if the gun gets wet. Water and electric items don't work well together.
My biggest question is: What happens when, firing at 16,000 rounds a minute, you run out of ammo?
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Dated a Russian lass myself, being that her parents spoke hardly any english to me...I wasn't too scared even if I should have been. Fuhget abat it!
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Originally posted by nirvana
Dated a Russian lass myself, being that her parents spoke hardly any english to me...I wasn't too scared even if I should have been. Fuhget abat it!
Their bark is generally worse than their bite. Although I speak Russian, I've found that if all else fails, Vodka is the great equalizer.
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Yay for vodka. Does it matter if it's the cheap stuff?
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Originally posted by nirvana
Yay for vodka. Does it matter if it's the cheap stuff?
Personally, I prefer the Stoli. My parents, who came to the states in their late 30s (I was 4) prefer Grey Goose for its smoothness. Personally, I think it's an abomination, not because it's expensive or even because its French, but because I think that good Vodka should come from a cold, miserable part of the world like Eastern Europe or Scandinavia.
We have these tastes and opinions because we're now more American than Russian. A true Russian will drink anything that's clear. I even saw a bottle of old Soviet Vodka with a foil pop top that you couldn't reseal once you opened it. According to legend, this brand was famous because hard-core veteran Russian drunks could distribute the bottle amongst three drinkers, in the near total darkness of an alley or a stairwell, with accuracy down to the milliliter, based solely on the number of glugs it made as the liquid poured out.
At the end of the day, if it's cold but not frozen, it's good.
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Hehe, we broke up few months ago, i've been thinking about getting baxck together with her maybe, a gift may help seal the cracks.:D
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From the .gov of the state of washington
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Based on presentations made by supplier representatives on April 26, 2001, discussions with members of the listing committee, tasting reports on product samples and other factors, I recommend that the Board approve the following listing/rejection actions...
...Altay Surprise Vodka, 750 ml ($10.95) Reject
Linie Aquavit, 750 ml ($23.95) Reject
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glad i dont live in that sewer of poor taste.
maybe those dimwits took their Linie warm, but these two are my brands.
i know my aquavit (O.P. Anderson is not generally available in Oregon), but
do you have a professional (Russian) opinion of Altay Surprise?
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oryginal stoli is the best :) There are some cheap imitations though.
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Originally posted by Debonair
do you have a professional (Russian) opinion of Altay Surprise?
Don't recall ever having any... So I guess I've either never had any or I did and thought it was really good.
Now that you talked about it, though, I'll try to find some soon.
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Originally posted by fd ski
oryginal stoli is the best :) There are some cheap imitations though.
Oddly, most of those cheap imitations, as well as most cheap vodkas in general seem to come from Kentucky. No idea why this is.