Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Ripsnort on October 22, 2001, 03:11:00 PM

Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Ripsnort on October 22, 2001, 03:11:00 PM
Boats are Better than Women...

You can share your boat with friends.

You can control the speed and time of arrival.

You can ride in a boat any time of the month.

You can have a beer while riding in your boat.

You can't get diseases from riding in other boats.

You can have a black boat and show it to your parents.

You don't have to take a shower before driving your boat.

Your boat never wants a night out alone with other boats.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy working on your boat.

You don't deal with priests or blood tests when registering your boat.

You can ride in your boat as much as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't keep in touch with your old boats after you dump them.

If you say bad things to your boat, you don't have to apologize before you can ride again.

If your boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or buy new parts.

If your boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

If your boat smokes, you can do something about it.

If your boat is too loose, you can tighten it.

If you smoke, your boat doesn't care.

It is always okay to use tie-downs on your boat.

Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.

Boats don't care how many other boats you have been in.

Boats don't care if you look at other boats or if you buy boat magazines.

Boats don't care how many other boats you have.

Boats don't insult you if you're a bad driver.

Boats always feel like going for a ride.

Boats don't care if you're late.

Boats curves never sag.

Boats last longer.

Boats never accidentally get pregnant.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Keez on October 22, 2001, 04:01:00 PM
Love it!   :D
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Lamina on October 22, 2001, 04:11:00 PM
These "...Better than women" lists are invented by closet studmuffins.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Creamo on October 22, 2001, 04:12:00 PM
Really?
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Ripsnort on October 22, 2001, 06:08:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Lamina:
These "...invented by closet studmuffins.

You some kind of bigot, racist type guy? Why the profiling?
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Creamo on October 22, 2001, 06:21:00 PM
I hate people from Rico Puerto. Is that profiling?
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Animal on October 22, 2001, 06:28:00 PM
Ok, closet gays then.
My post was as much a joke as yours.

but if we're gonna talk bigots, a feminist wouldnt enjoy the list   ;)
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: SOB on October 22, 2001, 06:50:00 PM
Boats are best when owned by your best friends!   :)


SOB
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Tronspir on October 22, 2001, 07:07:00 PM
Doh!
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Fatty on October 22, 2001, 07:33:00 PM
Same with wives, SOB.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: AKDejaVu on October 22, 2001, 07:55:00 PM
You can have the boats.  I'll take the women.

AKDejaVu
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: capt. apathy on October 22, 2001, 08:57:00 PM
Quote
but if we're gonna talk bigots, a feminist wouldnt enjoy the list

 

feminists wouldn't enjoy most of the best things in life....except other women of course
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Animal on October 22, 2001, 09:19:00 PM
As Deja said, you guys drool about boats

I rather have a boat filled with beer and women   :cool:
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Hangtime on October 22, 2001, 10:53:00 PM
"A rowboat is better than no boat."
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Wanker on October 23, 2001, 02:52:00 PM
LOL! Thanks Rip, I busted a gut over that list.  :)
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: john9001 on October 23, 2001, 06:47:00 PM
the truth is if you have a big boat you can get all the women you want
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Hangtime on October 23, 2001, 08:54:00 PM
I have a big boat. I use the rowboat to get peace and quiet.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: hblair on October 23, 2001, 09:21:00 PM
Gimme boat.

 (http://www.cybrtyme.com/personal/hblair/kidsboat.jpg)
 (http://www.cybrtyme.com/personal/hblair/white.jpg)

The old Sanger sold two months ago, our 11 year old paint job still standing tall.

I think I'm gonna cry.  :( Putt-ing around in a deckboat just aint the same.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: hblair on October 23, 2001, 09:24:00 PM
Quote
Originally posted by john9001:
the truth is if you have a big boat you can get all the women you want

Or a fast one, or just one that looks fast.
 :)
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: AKSWulfe on October 23, 2001, 09:26:00 PM
Yes... but boats cost just as much, luckily though, the maintenance you can outsource.
-SW
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Hangtime on October 23, 2001, 09:44:00 PM
I never date a babe who can't swap out spreader boots or rub my teak to a golden glow.

 (http://www.matthoffman.cc/bb/hang.jpg)

 (http://simladder.com/pics/Dsc00022.jpg)

You may note that S.V. HANGTIME is in need of spreader boots and a teak job.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: 1776 on October 24, 2001, 12:34:00 AM
He heeee, that a Catalina 38'er?  Looks more like a hole in the water ya pour money down :)

So How often ya go sailing? Racing?
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: StSanta on October 24, 2001, 04:59:00 AM
You rich Americans.

Just wait til i get rich too.
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: dracken1 on October 24, 2001, 05:22:00 AM
well speaking as a women i'd perfer a boat to most men.so there

cymraeg----of the nearly extinct journeymen---

[ 10-24-2001: Message edited by: dracken1 ]
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Ripsnort on October 24, 2001, 07:28:00 AM
Eeeewwwww, Hangtime!  A Coors Lite? (Unholsters .45 for some target practice on cans)
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Ripsnort on October 24, 2001, 07:29:00 AM
Dracken, speaking as a man, I don't blame you one bit, and my wife would side with you!
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: SOB on October 24, 2001, 09:23:00 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Ripsnort:
Eeeewwwww, Hangtime!  A Coors Lite? (Unholsters .45 for some target practice on cans)

ummm . . . and will you be driving to said "target practice" in a high speed pick-em-up truck with an unlabeled can of mace in the back, and will you be shirtless and sweaty while shooting?


SOB
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: YANKEE on October 24, 2001, 10:51:00 AM
Back at ya Rip!  ;)


It's good to be a woman....

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious
gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.


Yankee
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: Ripsnort on October 24, 2001, 11:12:00 AM
Good one Yankee, but concerning the "Judgement by shoes"...how do you judge a guy like me who wears no shoes (or underwear for that matter) when the temperature is above 80 deg?   :eek:
Title: Why boats are better than women!
Post by: myelo on October 24, 2001, 11:14:00 AM
...boats don't better you in smack talk when you make fun of them.  :)

myelo