Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Hangtime on October 25, 2001, 11:45:00 PM
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My date explained to me the other day she had an idea while we were out to dinner. I think we were talking about what a crummy mood she's in all the time... she said, "Honey; you have no idea how lucky you guys are we just don't just kill you morons outright when we reach 40."
She then told me she'd like to go to Afghanistan and kick a lil ass... "Hey; don't laff at me... why in hell do you men think you should have all the fun?..."
When she emailed me this today I was less surprised than I was impressed. To know her; is to love her...
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes
naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.
And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain!
I've unloaded the Mossberg, and stored it under the nail polish remover.
[ 10-25-2001: Message edited by: Hangtime ]
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We wouldn't even have to arm them. They could just nag 'em all to death.
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Raub speaks wisdom.
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give em the hormones they have when they're pregnant....garentee wont no rag head mess with them then
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Let's just hold a contest and find the worst uh, "woman at menopause stage" in the country and send her over. I know from experience that all it takes is one. :D
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ROFL!
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I've actually considered the idea of the Post-Taliban government having the law that only Afgan women can vote.
You think American women are mad?
Hans.
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Too bad we can't send them over prior to menopause... but an army that only fights 4 days a month isn't all too effective.
AKDejaVu
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ahh but that all depends on how effective they are during those 4 days
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fess up Hang..you wrote that..
Or you have found a woman as eloquent as you with a very simular sence of humour....
Im old enough to chalk that up as impossible.
[ 10-26-2001: Message edited by: Pongo ]
[ 10-26-2001: Message edited by: Pongo ]
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naw, Hang didn't write it, unless he's been emailing it before sharing with us. In which case we'll flog him and he's never allowed to fly the Pony again. :D
I gotta friend who's pregnant and her mom is going through menopause. Those two alone could take out the Taliban in 48 hrs! :eek:
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Let's just send them our recycle
(http://albums.photopoint.com/j/View?u=1722739&a=13481405&p=55672748)
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A joke from the 80-s:
On an Afghan road a Mullah meets a righteous Moslim, who goes carrying a giant bag on his back, following his wife.
-"What do I see!? According to Mohammed it's YOU who has to walk first, with your wife carrying all the stuff after you!"
-"You're right, Mullah, but in the times of Mohammed there were no mines on Afghan roads!"
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Ok ... Ok whats going on here :rolleyes:
http://agw.dogfighter.com/agw//Forum3/HTML/024342.html (http://agw.dogfighter.com/agw//Forum3/HTML/024342.html)
<S>
Scot
3./JG2
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Looks to me like a female conspiracy!!!
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Hangtime get that mossberg back out, fill er up with buckshot. Give her a canteen, a handful of weight watch's snack bars & TURN HER LOOSE.
Sounds WAY to logical to me, let the taliban deal with em for a while.
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Buckshot?? LOL.. no way... Solid slugs.. "Door Thumpers", yah; I can see that.
:D
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lol great idea.. I think my woman would enjoy it.
If you watch nature closely, the female animals ussualy are the hunters of the "pride". We humans have just trained them otherwise.
screw the door breaching slugs, give um some "deer slayers" or even better nickle shot.
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Line um up! move um out!
:D
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Originally posted by Am0n:
lol great idea.. I think my woman would enjoy it.
If you watch nature closely, the female animals ussualy are the hunters of the "pride". We humans have just trained them otherwise.
screw the door breaching slugs, give um some "deer slayers" or even better nickle shot.
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Line um up! move um out!
:D
Misconception arrived at by only watching lions during the day for 200 years. At night the big boys play and show their worth. With out the size and power of the Male lions the African Lion would probably have been forced to extinction by the Hyheana. That size and extra hair that helps them fight so well slows them down during the heat of the day. So they dont look like much on camera. Until you turn on the II scopes.
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Let's add to Hangtime's idea and his girlfriend (or is owner more like it? :) )....
Send those ladies over, tell the Taliban the "heavenly virgins" are coming to them early. If that doesn't spawn a mass suicide.....
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Originally posted by Pongo:
With out the size and power of the Male lions the African Lion would probably have been forced to extinction by the Hyheana.
Thats not hunting, thats defending there territory. Which they do quiet well.
Males defend the prides land, because of there mass and power. Females hunt because it doesnt take a males mass and power to kill a hind (example), it takes agility and percision. which the very wise creatures understand greatly.
I think our US presisdent said it best.. "im not going to use a 2millon$ missle to blow up a tent and maybe hit a cammel in the but"
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Am0n. you played UO, didn't you? :) (UO is about the only place I've seen heard someone say hind. usually they'd say gazelle or antelope in reference to lion food.)
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Not an issue of precision or agility I dont think. Its strictly endurance in the heat.
Come along way from the old Fem tyrad about the king of the beasts being an icompetent lazy good for nothing..
But we dont really expect a retraction I guess.
Anyway. Your statement was a generalization based on one scecies for which it is not even true. Or do you have another species for which that was ever said? Female white sharks are bigger I believe. Most hunting cats are practically indistinguishable as to gender. Wolves defiantly dont show a female hunting supperiority.
You were talking about African Lions. And its not true. Females do the bulk of the daytime hunting. But it is becase the Males have genetically specialized. In our species the oppisit is true. The Males have genetically specialized for hunting and fighting. We have not trained the woman not to hunt. Evolution has.
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Originally posted by Nifty:
Am0n. you played UO, didn't you? :)
Yep, since 98 util EA bought Origin and ruined the great game and community. :mad:
great lakes server the whole time. :cool:
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Pongo my statement is true and im not arguing over this, pointless to.
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Dont defend it then.
just dont make stupid statements like
"If you watch nature closely, the female animals ussualy are the hunters of the "pride". We humans have just trained them otherwise.
"
and expect people to nod. If there is any truth that females are "usually" the hunters of the "pride" then you have not supported it.
Nor have we trained this hunting capability out of our females. They have geneticaly specialized to care for our offspring which have an increadibly long period of helpless ness compared to near any wild animal. Men evolved to support them both by hunting.
No one robed the ladies of this ability nor "trained" it out of them.
So what you said is just silly.
sorry to burst your bubble
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Men who have raised teenagers, and been through menopause with a wife, think Jesus took the easy way out.
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Originally posted by Pongo:
sorry to burst your bubble
You didnt do toejam but make a bellybutton outta your self buy flaming a rather well humored post.
I could give a rats bellybutton what your opinon is of me, why should i be concerned?
Why would i want to involve my self in un-intellictauly stimulating conversation, to only make another feal better about his anal-retentive ego. Thats why im not defending what i said, besides the fact its such a stupid thing to argue about. Women like to argue about pointless issues, do you squat when you pee??
here let me save you a post.. (cut and paste if you really need more attention)
Originally posted by Am0n:
You didnt do toejam but make a bellybutton outta your self buy flaming a rather well humored post.
Pongo: "Oh yes i did, i made some drama for my self so i can feal good walzting around in my sisters panties! i love drama, almost as much as i do boys."
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done speaking to you.
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Sorry for spamming up your thread hangtime
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Oh jeeze people!..My wife had a good laugh at this thread.. :)I am trying to reinstill the hunting intinct in her by showing here how to fly AH... :)
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Your in an iteresting place. You believe what you said enough to type it with conviction. And you apperently place such importance in this common misconseption about lions that you base your whole self image on it or something. Your on pretty shaky ground it seems.
You didnt hijack the thread. You stated a misconseption as fact and exagurated it to apply to the whole animal world. You appeared to be trying to deapen the discussion in a psuedo intellectual way. I corrected you. Apperently you are not accustomed or equiped to handle that.
A big enough lie, repeated frequently enough works better I guess. Or some silly homophobic flame.
[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Pongo ]
[ 10-27-2001: Message edited by: Pongo ]
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Originally posted by Am0n:
Yep, since 98 util EA bought Origin and ruined the great game and community. :mad:
great lakes server the whole time. :cool:
I played for about 3 yrs and cancelled the account this past summer (to afford playing AH). Played on Catskills only, myself.
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I liked the post, had a great laugh here at the office. Sorry Pongo, but the "Screw em they can't take a joke" comes to mind :D
Have a beer, be mellow.
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Keep her hang!
eskimo
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Originally posted by Nifty:
I played for about 3 yrs and cancelled the account this past summer (to afford playing AH). Played on Catskills only, myself.
Nifty they totaly ruined that game. You can make a GM mage/eval intl in a matter of days (literaly) and when i first played it took months to have somehting that powerful.
I played for a year with my mage to get to 98 magery 95 eval.
Now the game is designed for kiddies to play it for a few hours after school and still be very succesfull in the game.
I really hate when large corporations do this stuff, ill blame Origin for signing the contract is EA.
You know that richard garriot is working on a new RPG? Looks very awesome. He has all of the original UO staff along with the creator of the most succesful MMORPG of all time (its a korean game with 2millon subscribers, dont recall the name of it)
I just miss server wars!!! mucho fun there :)
[ 10-29-2001: Message edited by: Am0n ]
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Lineage: the Blood Oath or something like that is that korean game. The Garriot game will probably take quite some time before it's released. I'm playing Camelot right now (which is why I've only put in 5 hrs in the MA in October :eek: I basically only fly the TOD frames now). It's a pretty decent game, I'm at least having fun with it at any rate.
As for UO, yup, they turned a lot of vets off with the power hour nonsense.
wow, I love hijacking partially hijacked threads!! ;)