Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Neubob on June 17, 2006, 11:03:42 AM
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I'm about to leave my house in Bethesda MD and drive for 3 hours, down to North Bethany Beach Delaware, to hang out with my dad at the folks' beach house. Just the two of us, mom's up in NY. My estranged, soon to be ex wife is thousands of miles away, taking a long, perhaps permanent break from me.
Spending a weekend with dad shouldn't seem odd, but to me, it is. Dad and have never really been too close. From my earliest memories, and even before them, he's been the classic tyrant. Always ambitious, always expecting more of himself and willing to let his relationship with all his family members pay the price. His attitudes have earned him a pair of heart attacks, but have also made him the most accomplished person I know, both professionally and intellectually. He's done just about everything he set out to do, accumulated more assets than he'd ever dreamed of, and all after he was 40 (we came to this country when he was 38). He'll be 63 in November.
He never asked much from anyone, except, of course, from your's truly. Rode me all my life, from early childhood, through adolescence, and into my 20s. ALways wanted more. Wanted me to follow in his footsteps and go into medicine. Wanted the Ivy League degree. I rebelled. Spent 6 years living 3000 miles away from him on the opposite coast, doing the exact opposite of everything I knew he wanted. Hardly talked beyond the perfunctory 'Hi, I'm alive, bye', every week or so.
And then, all the sudden, something changed. I didn't even realize that my going to hang out with him for the weekend was a first time event until he called just a few minutes ago to see if I'd left yet. He was soft, kind, and even when I got annoyed for a brief moment, he just calmed me down and told me not to hurry. This guy, who used to make my heart skip a beat every time I heard his car pulling into the driveway (he drove a diesel when I was a kid), is suddenly soft, approachable, even fun to be around.
I'm searching myself for a grain of fear or apprehension of the next 24 hours, and it's just not there. In fact, I'm actually looking forward to this weeked. Feeling respect, even just a hint of it, from the man I respect more than anyone is the best sensation ever.
What in god's name happened?
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Maybe you guys are growing up together.
Good luck.
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I"ll tell you whats real funny.
It's strange the older I get the smarter my dad gets.
Bronk
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guilt
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Have fun and cherrish the time.
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Originally posted by Mr Big
Have fun and cherrish the time.
Great advice.
Neubob, your description of your dad and your relationship with him sounds eerily similar to my dad and I. Except, my dad died when he was 42. As the years have gone by since then, I've come to understand him a lot better and realize/appreciate why he acted the way he did. I envy your opportunity.
culero
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You really have no idea how fortunate you are. I'd give everything I own to have time with my Dad again. He died when I was 7. I am extremely envious that you have the oportunity to really meet your Dad and talk. Don't waste it. Time is finite and always shorter than you think.
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I'll never forget my dad's dying words: "Son, is that thing loaded?"
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Originally posted by rpm
I'll never forget my dad's dying words: "Son, is that thing loaded?"
ROFLMAO :rofl
I have felt that way a few times myself.
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Originally posted by Neubob
What in god's name happened?
You will find out together...and that is a fantastic thing.
Enjoy it.
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Originally posted by Maverick
You really have no idea how fortunate you are. I'd give everything I own to have time with my Dad again. He died when I was 7. I am extremely envious that you have the oportunity to really meet your Dad and talk. Don't waste it. Time is finite and always shorter than you think.
Just by looking at your Avatar, I'd bet your dad is very proud of you and all that you have done in your life.
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I can only hope so. I'll have to wait and see, hopefully after quite a bit of time has passed.
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Originally posted by Maverick
I can only hope so. I'll have to wait and see, hopefully after quite a bit of time has passed.
Your dad was proud of you when you were 7, and he's proud of you now. I'd bet my life on it.
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You both Chilled... Welcome to Life.
Cherish the time. In fact make more times together, enjoy them. Once he's gone your left with memories. May the good ones over power the bad.
Time heals old wounds... not get there and tell him you Love him!
Dam eyes watering, frikken allegies....
Mac
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Originally posted by Bronk
I"ll tell you whats real funny.
It's strange the older I get the smarter my dad gets.
Bronk
"When I was 16 I thought my father was the supidest man on the face of the earth.
When I was 26 I was amazed at how much my old man learned in the last 10 years"- Mark Twain
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
"When I was 16 I thought my father was the supidest man on the face of the earth.
When I was 26 I was amazed at how much my old man learned in the last 10 years"- Mark Twain
Amen Dred