Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Dichotomy on July 11, 2006, 07:35:22 PM
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The story of a NOOOB
So while I rarely take lunch at the office preferring to stay in and accomplish somthing today I took off and to Comp USA I go, They had yon Saitek joystick that through my research had been deemed 'acceptable' and inquired politely if they had one as I could not see any boxes. Sadly no I was informed. Undaunted off to Best Buy where I was informed that, no they did not have any of them. Disappointed and frustrated now I visited Office Depot on my way back to work and, yes you guessed it, LOGITECS out the wazoo but no Saitek.
Depressed, angry at life, and resigning myself to yet another night of reading about battles lost and won and being envious of those of you who actually can fly I went back to work.
On the way home my beloved she devil called and asked if I could pick up snacks for the t-ball team. 'Yes' I said and headed for yon Wal of Mart. As I walked in I realized that Wallie World might, just on the stroke of luck, have a suitable joystick in the 'Barry's going to throw away some cash to see if this game can addict him' range.
LO AND BEHOLD the lord did grin and the people did feast on the.. well never mind that.. I found a Saitek joystick. Not the one I wanted but at this point I'll take what I can get considering it was 20 bucks and I spend that on beer in a day on weekends. (note to self: stop drinking so much damn beer)
Suffice to say I have managed to kill myself on 3 takeoffs (ya ya Im too stubborn to let the computer do it for me), run out of ammo EVERY time, and LANDING? buahahahahahahahaha... I'd be better suited to bail out and grab a new plane.. but there's that 'stubborn' thing aforementioned.
I did kill two drones though
I'll be practicing for a bit longer then EVERYBODY can paint
<---------- that on my back for a while..
Eventually I'll get one or six of you :)
Now I have to figure out how to map the throttle on the joystick because the keyboard just ANNOYS me(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/soapbox.gif).
Gentlemen, ladies, and everyone else, I think I'm hooked...
(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)
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Welcome to the addiction, send our condolences to the she devil, that's the last she'll see of you. :)
btw, you will soon learn what "wife ack" is too, I'm sure.
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hehehehe Welcome to the nut house, you are in too deep to return now.
Jump in on some events, the best way to get your feet wet is to jump into the ocean head first.
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Get ready to gain the "freshman 10"; the ten pounds of dead weight around your midsection from spending long hours doing Aces High while drinking beer and shoving snacks in your mouth.
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You don't have the addiction yet
Consider this your only and last warning.
Welcome aboard.
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She Devil
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/dichotomy/shedevil.jpg)
She knows how to tell me
'um honey, the grass is knee deep, please go mow it'
she has no trouble distracting me from any game :)
time to go baack and die some more :)
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
She Devil
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/dichotomy/shedevil.jpg)
......
Why do you even HAVE a computer? :lol :lol
Welcome to AH. You sound like you're going to have a great time -- and I bet you'll be great fun to fly with.
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:confused:
Me thinks ya bought the wrong kind of joystick...!!
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Originally posted by Simaril
Why do you even HAVE a computer? :lol :lol
Welcome to AH. You sound like you're going to have a great time -- and I bet you'll be great fun to fly with.
ummm *scratches head*
well you have to rest from time to time and there's the whole quicken thing :D
thanks.. (http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)
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Originally posted by Simaril
Why do you even HAVE a computer? :lol :lo
Welcome to AH. You sound like you're going to have a great time -- and I bet you'll be great fun to fly with.
Was just thinkin that. Looks like ya got plenty of game at home.
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Originally posted by bcee
:confused:
Me thinks ya bought the wrong kind of joystick...!!
Indeed but I always wade in slowly.. I have a feeling the pedals indi throttle control etc are in my future :)
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Originally posted by doobs
Was just thinkin that. Looks like ya got plenty of game at home.
(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)(http://www.capitalj.com/images/ftjicons/beer.gif)
yup :D
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ahhh...guess that kinda flew over ya...awww nevermind...
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yes it did...
I was a bit.. umm 'distracted' :D
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welcome to the addiction D, and god, if you think it's bad now. in a few months you'll be really pissed off at a bunch of gangbanging nikis, log off, and do stuff round the house, but everything you see reminds you of aces high or planes.
you run about, trying to find something to do, but the voices grow louder, you have the urge, here it comes, you're twitching, and have a cold sweat. eventually you just cant stand it any longer, and you either jump back on the game, despite some of the crap, or you have to spend several hours on these forums each day to get your AH fix...
...THAT's when you know you're addicted :D
that is the curse of the fighter aces, once you're in, you cant get out.... :cry :cry :cry
RUN, RUN RUN RUN!!!
leave while you still can:cry :cry :cry you dont understand the things this game will make you do...
lol, seriously, welcome to the gang, hope you enjoy your stay :) you're in for a great ride :)
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thanks MB.. killed a drone in a 38 and became a sticky spot against a hanger attempting to land... I blame the she devil for distracting me :)
and on that note.. night gang
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Seriously though, run. People have gotten divorced over this game. Not even kidding.
Of course if YOU get divorced over this game I think someone really WILL beat the hell out of you at a CON some day :D
Welcome :) :aok
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If he gets divorced then he really deserves the game.
I'm not sure who the gal in the picture is but I'm sure he shouldn't be posting pics of that lovely lady when he already has a she-devil at home :D
If you prefer to touch down on the runway instead of being a blotch on a nearly perfect cartoon landscape you may want to swing by and spend a little time with a trainer in the Training Arena. We can help you set up your equipment and get you up to speed fairly quickly.
If you just gotta be stubborn, us trainers can wait...eventually you WILL come to us....repeat after me....You WILL come to us....keep yer eyes on the swinging watch...you WILL come to us....opens a beer and hands it to Dichotomy....you WILL come to us......
Oh yeah, don't wait too long! If you set yer stick up too crazy it takes longer for you to adapt to the correct setup. This, in turn, delays your ability to get kills. But, it in no way hinders your odds of getting shot down. :)
Also, the next time yer out shopping buy a headset with mic. It cuts down on your ability to hear wife ack and allows you to concentrate on the game. The only shortfall is you won't hear the swing of the bat.
Welcome aboard!
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Great post. :)
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Great AAR :).
Welcome aboard. Im looking forward to meet you in the virtual skies! Dont be long..... those drones cant appreciate you :D.
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you are driving to work and consider doing a high yo-yo on the next turn:rolleyes:
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Originally posted by FBplmmr
you are driving to work and consider doing a high yo-yo on the next turn:rolleyes:
Tell me about it, I am always thinking of the AOT when following people around curves.
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Originally posted by Aquabat
Tell me about it, I am always thinking of the AOT when following people around curves.
or, you use the dead bug on the windscreen as a gunsight, making machine gun sounds infront of your whole family, as you swerve about on the road trying to pull the right lead for the shot... :rofl
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Or quietly keep your hand on the gearshift and pretend there's a trigger on it...hping no one will notice....
I remember reading on the BBS about a AH'er who's also a commercial pilot. He was on th taxiway, waiting in line for his turn to take off...and as the plane in front turned to get on the actual runway, it crossed his windscreen. As it passed where his gunsight would be, he mentally squeezed the trigger and said "DEAD" a bit louder than he meant to.
It apparently gave his copilot a major freakout.
:rofl :rofl
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honestly I'm not too worried about wife ack.. she's got her own computer addictions so we sit in the office side by side her doing her thing me doing mine.
Thanks for all the kind words gents and lady... I'll be asking for a trainer fairly soon
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Originally posted by Aquabat
Tell me about it, I am always thinking of the AOT when following people around curves.
And i thought i was the only idiot who did that!
(does anyone else annoy their she-devils by acting like you are attacking cars in front of you with machine gun noises????)
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Originally posted by Major Biggles
or, you use the dead bug on the windscreen as a gunsight, making machine gun sounds infront of your whole family, as you swerve about on the road trying to pull the right lead for the shot... :rofl
Or, every time you're on a rollercoaster:
[Coaster starts climbing]
"August, 1944... Somewhere over the Rhine... Vudak circles about in his F4U1 Corsair... How he got a Corsair to the Rhine? Well, don't worry 'bout that. Doesn't really matter.... A cloud layer above him, he climbs to get a better view..."
[At the top]
"BANDITS! SIX O'CLOCK HIGH! 109s! There's only one option - power dive!"
[give play by play in the middle]
"RATA TATA TATA TATA RATA TATA TATA TATA!!!!"
C'mon, I'm not the only one who does this. :cool:
(Suprisingly enough, I've actually found it does get chicks :aok)
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Originally posted by Vudak
Or, every time you're on a rollercoaster:
[Coaster starts climbing]
"August, 1944... Somewhere over the Rhine... Vudak circles about in his F4U1 Corsair... How he got a Corsair to the Rhine? Well, don't worry 'bout that. Doesn't really matter.... A cloud layer above him, he climbs to get a better view..."
[At the top]
"BANDITS! SIX O'CLOCK HIGH! 109s! There's only one option - power dive!"
[give play by play in the middle]
"RATA TATA TATA TATA RATA TATA TATA TATA!!!!"
C'mon, I'm not the only one who does this. :cool:
(Suprisingly enough, I've actually found it does get chicks :aok)
Now I am going to have to make a trip to Six Flags soon. Thanks :aok
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Originally posted by Casper1
And i thought i was the only idiot who did that!
(does anyone else annoy their she-devils by acting like you are attacking cars in front of you with machine gun noises????)
mine would either
a) join in
or
b) ask why I didn't use cannons as well
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and do stuff round the house, but everything you see reminds you of aces high or planes.
dang straight, I find myself working out maneuvers while mowing the lawn, running combat scenerios in my head while drivin the car, One time i nearly gave my brother a check 6 while he was walking down the hallway in school, aa i came about behind him...he was ded in my sights...completely unsuspecting...too bad he was a friendly though:D
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Welcome Bud.
After countless hours of sitting in a chair , where 3.5 months ago I had mini stroke while flying , I have found that AHII is crack on a desktop.
You'll love flying in here. Lots of great people. A few Jerks. Lots of good fights. TONS of Vulches , Cherry Picking , Hoing and the occasional flying em into the ground augering.
Squads that will horde your noob tail to death. Guys that after one turn you throw your hands up and just say screwit Im dead. Guys that you just beat the snot out of and go to get a beer and notice your head as swelled from being FIGHTER ACE JOCK FROM HE!!.
Saying Rgr to the She-Devil when she asks if you want something while she is up. Saying negative to "Honey can you get to the grass today"
Wondering why your NECK is hurting and then realize you been sitting on your dead beat butt for like 7 hours and its strained.
This is just a SMALL list of things to come......
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Originally posted by Casper1
And i thought i was the only idiot who did that!
(does anyone else annoy their she-devils by acting like you are attacking cars in front of you with machine gun noises????)
got ya beat, with my she Devil, I now get in the back of the Car and tell her to drive in the Service of the Emperor.
Having a big time prob with car gun defelection on off ramps. If ya lead them too much ya end up on the grass.
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:lol Welcome Dichotomy, nice looking lass you have there. Remember, if someone calls you a cheater, it's a compliment. If someone starts calling you names on private, laugh to yourself, for you have pissed off a person over a cartoon aeroplane. Then reply very calming, or not at all. Really gets em going:aok
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well I forgot the screenshot but I finally landed.. well sort of... P38 (yes yes I know train in a noob plane but I have a thing about the 38's) and I only damaged one.. count them 1 engine!!!!
She devil only got 3 letters from the SECDEF tonight...
as far as the addiction goes... well a coworker I don't care for was crossing in front of me today and I mentally tried to figure out what the best way to use E and manuevering to get on his six so I could bring my .50's into play...
does that count?
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
does that count?
you're on the way, although for maximum points you need to do it while operating hazardous machinery, or shout bang, dead, or something like that loud enough for everyone to turn around and stare:noid
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Bah, youins and your confangled "joysticks" and "pedals" and "monitors". Back in my day you flapped your arms and yelled bang when you wanted to shoot.
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
well I forgot the screenshot but I finally landed.. well sort of... P38 (yes yes I know train in a noob plane but I have a thing about the 38's) and I only damaged one.. count them 1 engine!!!!
Sounds like you & Dan will get along brilliantly :D
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Originally posted by Major Biggles
you're on the way, although for maximum points you need to do it while operating hazardous machinery, or shout bang, dead, or something like that loud enough for everyone to turn around and stare:noid
does taping an airsoft gas blowback to your forearm and capping them count?
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Originally posted by Raptor
Bah, youins and your confangled "joysticks" and "pedals" and "monitors". Back in my day you flapped your arms and yelled bang when you wanted to shoot.
weeelll I flapped my arms and pointed at the monitor when I realized I was still alive :D
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Only $20 on beer?
Good luck, have fun with the new stick.
:)
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do trust me when I say that she devil is just as happy that I have something to keep me in the right hand seat.. hers is on the left..
the big sony is hers the big monitor is mine and that's my 'gaming' tv on the upper right hand side :)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v61/shimmer/th_32dced6c.jpg) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v61/shimmer/32dced6c.jpg)
clickable thumb as it's a big pic
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Wow, ok... $20 of Keystone is a LOT of Keystone.
:aok
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give it 6 months WWII planes all over desk, oh and say goodbye to beer.
Too slow, will be a couple empty scotch bottles on the desk.
What else do I see in front of me......
oh yeah the backup sticks, 4 inch folder of printed maps and missions.
And get your self a small animal to kick/throw during game, maybe a couple.
and oh yeah if ya smoke multiple ashtrays.
and a picture of the family to remind you what they look like.
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Originally posted by Stang
Wow, ok... $20 of Keystone is a LOT of Keystone.
:aok
Cheap beer bet Nopoop would be proud.:aok
Bronk
EDIT: Just got to let the hair grow out so it can catch fire.:rofl
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First I got addicted to Air Warrior-get up n the night to get a drink....play for 3 hours. THEN wife had me take 5 years off.....last night I played until 2 A.M.....nah, this isn't addicting. I sit in a room surrounded with WWII plane art prints....nah, this isn't addicting.
MI {Shillelagh}
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Doobs
Nope I'll always stick with beer my hard drinking days are well behind me... now a xanax iv? that's a possibility
got a space on the wall and an empty file cabinet for the maps etc
does a REALLY fat schnauzer count?
family? what family? ;)
and I get my tobacco fix smokeless.. gets it into the bloodstream faster
Bronk / Stang
yes yes I bought Keystone *hangs head in shame* it was $14.99 for a 30 pack... I'll buy real beer next time I promise :)
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Lifted from the BK's home page.
Aces High…and cheap beer..
One of the few vices left in this body is cheap beer..
I'm not talkin some fancy high dollar beer in a colored bottle. Not a green bottle nor a brown bottle, I drink my cheap beer out of cans. Cold cans.
I keep my cheap cans of beer on the top shelf of my ice box. My ice box has the freezer portion on the bottom so my cheap cans of beer are at eye level when I open the door. Easier to count. And the ice box was purchased with that in mind...
Pour my cheap beer in a chilled glass ?? There isn't anything quite like a cold can of beer..
Unless of course I'm at a bar and they have cheap beer on tap. That of course is the BEST of cheap beer, but I digress.
I come home from work and walk directly to my ice box, grab one can of cheap beer ( at eye level ) and take inventory. Make the necessary phone calls if the inventory is below minimum and proceed to my mail, this and a few other boards while I partake of the of a couple of cheap beers while I read and post.
The lady comes home somewhat later with more inventory "if" required ( cell phones are a good thing ) and we discuss our day, plan for dinner...
With a couple of cheap beers..
Dinners decided, it's in the works, it's time to fly. My cheap beer is placed on the left side of the desk on the outside of my throttle. House design is such that if the cheap beer is consumed, the ice box is 7 feet away. Not enough time to even post a "afk".
I don't eat breakfast or lunch..
Now this Sunday morning for some reason I went for a flight. Never fly much in the morning. Coffee held the spot which is reserved for the cheap beer. The room was bright with sunshine..
Flew one sortie, killed four and landed. In game, it was after the sun went down, practically dark, in fact I couldn't see a thing except icons..
I've discovered something..
I fly better in the dark..
__________________
nopoop
:rofl :rofl
Have to have that cheap beer.
Bronk
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Also from the Bk's page.
The hair reference.
A solution to this “Hair on Fire” problem..
It's so simple I can't understand why I didn't think of it before.
You've been there, got a fight goin, couple more join in...
and then a few more...
Before you know it theres cons EVERYWHERE and you taxing the limits of the springs in that little plastic view hat..
Your hitting your views, making your moves...it keeps getting worse.. but you have a handle on it...
At about that time your hair bursts into flames...
Now between you and me, when the hair bursts into flames it takes me out of my game..
I have to put out the associated fires that start on my flight suit and about the cockpit, move my beer from between my legs to the cup holder...crack the wing window to let the smoke out...
All of this while the cons continue to come in...
I've found a simple solution to this ongoing problem. Being that I tend to fly in "warm" areas anyway...
I set my own hair on fire on the takeoff roll..
Saves all those pesky distractions when my hair spontaneously combusts anyway..
Try it, it works for me
__________________
nopoop
Nopoop get back in the game you funny bugger.
Bronk
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(http://www.capitalj.com/images/yahoo/18.gif)
I like the guy already... we tend to think alike but I'm a planner... no hair, no fire, no risk of spilling my cheap beer.
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Originally posted by gofaster
Get ready to gain the "freshman 10"; the ten pounds of dead weight around your midsection from spending long hours doing Aces High while drinking beer and shoving snacks in your mouth.
What, we were only supposed to gain 10, I must have missed that memo.:aok
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
She Devil
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v99/dichotomy/shedevil.jpg)
She knows how to tell me
'um honey, the grass is knee deep, please go mow it'
she has no trouble distracting me from any game :)
time to go baack and die some more :)
ok stay in AH, and uuuhhhmmm, get kinda immersed in it...
and uuuummmm where exactly do you live?
:O
Newbs
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(http://www.capitalj.com/images/yahoo/18.gif)(http://www.capitalj.com/images/yahoo/18.gif)
I'll do that and not to far from the mothership actually (http://www.capitalj.com/images/yahoo/04.gif)
But good luck she's a hard sell..
I wonder if someone who makes skins could make a she devil plane? :D
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i'll cut your grass.looks like you got better things to do.oh, but im not cheap,no sir.moma didnt raise a fool.it'll cost ya 2 keystones and a milwalkees best lite.lol welcome to the crack house,just dont burn it down.
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it's a deal..
when my hardware guy gives me my kegorator back we'll fill it with the beer of your choice.