Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: StSanta on August 30, 2001, 03:27:00 PM
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Well, no great revelations here: body language is sorta important.
I'm a skinny dude, 1.80m, 65kg (5 10, 145lb?). Usually when streets are crowded or like today there's some street party with live music and whatnot, I'm very nice and step to the side and let people pass if they need to. When I don't, I usually get a bump and either a surprised "oh, sorry" or an angry stare. This doesn't happen to my buddy, who's about twice my weight and around 2.05 tall. People move quite quickly when he's around.
Anyway, I decided to conduct a wee little experiment (I just love these social interaction experiments :D). Decided to carry myself in a slightly different way; hands outta pockets, stomach in (not that I have much of a tummy with my weight :D), chest out and, most importantly, I raised my chin just a few centimeters above normal. Walked a bit more slowly too.
Lo and behold, people seemed to take it as a signal of aggression. And most moved for me and not vice versa. Even worked with big dudes, although I was careful not to assume the posture when I passed the Hells Angels groups and their entourage. I like to experiment, not get hurt.
At any rate, it has intrigued me enoughto make me more interested in just how I *do* carry myself around people. Unfortunately I've waded through tons of the poor quality huggy toejame "psychological" books on body language. Anyone got a reference for a good one?
It's sort of like tricking people, in a way: making use of unspoken tricks. Sure, people will pick up on anything consciously if they're looking and trying: but in most situations in life that ain't the case.
Additionally, anyone else got an experience with stuff like this? Would be cool to compare :)
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i'm going to have to have my kid read your post. i've been trying to hammer into his head for years, stand/sit up straight head up shoulders back basicly walk act and talk as if you have respect for yourself and you will find others respecting you also. if you walk around slumped over and trying to hide from the world people will (maybe subconsiosly?) assume that you are used to being pushed around and they figure 'business as usual'.
basicly it comes down to that unless they have info to the contrary people will assume you are who you present yourself to be and i've found that generally you start to believe it too.
btw i'm no psyciatrist or anything but i do like to watch people react to new siuations, very interesting stuff
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Actually... my father's masters thesis was on this very subject... some 30 years ago... :) I'll pick his brain while camping this weekend.
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Yes, recently Ive realized that eye contact is VERY important to get your way around people.
Body language can sometimes say more than your own words.
I believe my apathic expressions are always a plus, peple never know what you are feeling, specially good for negotiation
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Are ya talkin' to me?
Are ya talkin' TO ME??
:D :D :D
Daniel, aka Cyrano
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*PUNCH*
Works every time.
Just keep the Tazer handy ;)
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Santa,
Yep you found out a hidden fact about interaction of mammals. It doesn't just relate to people either. Look at other primates and how they act. The same for dogs. There are several signals that indicate the "pack" status and it carries over. A more erect posture with exposed hands and direct eye contact is far more aggressive than the slouched shamble you are used to using. If you leaned forward while doing this and make hard eye contact (stare) it likely would be taken for a hostile intent posture. You might just get taken up on it too in a bar.
Experianced Cops are masters at watching people and determining threat status by body language. It works in reverse too. If you can use the posture to get what you want without the violence you are way ahead of the game. Slouching is a signal of lack of intent and weakness. In other words ya just don't mean what yer sayin. :)
Try some more experiments and watch people in crowds. It can be a bit fun.
Mav
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Cpt, I was told often and early while growing up to pull my shoulders back, hold my head up and be a "straight Heard" (Something passed down through the family I guess).
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Does farting in public count as a body language? It will clearly influence everyboy's behaviour, and it is clearly a "language"?
Did you test that Santa?
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Farting is a universal body language that basically says "Clear this area, you are all coming in too close to me".
Body language, and the way you present or 'carry yourself'..is the difference between being a victim of a violent crime, or being left alone, in a large metropolitan city.
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Pumping up your chest to impose your will on others is all well and good.
But a true “Master of the Universe” is invisible. ;)
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Watch people when they buy used cars. Theyre trying to hide their exitement at all costs. They try to be distant to the salesman and act like they would think "nice car, but..". But in their minds they scream "I want this car i want it! how much, can we negotiate, if not, i buy it anyway."
Of course, POS cars get the same public behavior, but this time its real..=) Thats what the salesman are trained to see.
If we speak of the hidden interactions between woman and man, THAT is really complicated and ancient. Not only the body language, but the new research shows feromones having a significance.
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LOL, my dad used to make it a sport to go onto carlots, dicker the guy down to a rediculous price, then walk away...he wasn't serious about buying the cars most times, he just loved to barter...a salesman for a large corporation for 27 years does that too you..anyway, learned alot of things from dad, thus, my good bargains when I shop for cars, boats, etc. I take my time, give them a price I'm willing to pay, "call me when you've met my price" attitude. "Never be in a hurry to part with your money, because someone else will want your money, and less of it"..thats my philosophy.
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So farting is like a proximity mine?
In the back of your mind you are thinking "Alert! Someone getting close must emit warning gasses!"
Hell of a warning to tell someone to keep away....
;)
-SW
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Originally posted by capt. apathy:
i'm going to have to have my kid read your post. i've been trying to hammer into his head for years, stand/sit up straight head up shoulders back basicly walk act and talk as if you have respect for yourself and you will find others respecting you also. if you walk around slumped over and trying to hide from the world people will (maybe subconsiosly?) assume that you are used to being pushed around and they figure 'business as usual'
Send the kid off to martial arts practise (not talking the competitionoriented ones here, weight on art). Does wonders for self-knowledge physically and mentally.
Cheers,
/ft
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Santa, I have noticed a similar phenomenon, walking around a huge (35000 students?)college campus. I am a pretty big dude so a lone person won't give me any crap. But when you get groups of fratboys, especially when they are drunk, they will be more aggressive. If I stumble along with my normal "who gives a toejam" slouching gait, wearing my normal slobwear, the subadult jackoffs might not give me any room on the sidewalk and maybe talk a little toejam. I found that if I assume a more rigid posture and look like maybe I am ready to kill them, I get plenty of space and they shut right up. I also noticed that if I am wearing a suit, this effect is amplified. I dislike putting on a show like that but when I am faced with rude morons on a daily basis, "I gotta do what I gotta do."
[ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: funkedup ]
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Nother thing that is kinda cool.
Get in a large crowd and when you get bumped look at the person but do not let your eyes focus, do a head twitch or two, and deadpan "but they say I'm doing much much better now" then do a lopsided grin and twitch your head a couple more times.
It will not be long till your all by yourself, in no matter how large a crowd. :D
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Maverick wrote:
Experianced Cops are masters at watching people and determining threat status by body language. It works in reverse too.
Oh yeah: noticed this yesterday night.
Was woken up by large bangs. Wondered what it was and it continued; three fast thumps, then silence. Then three thumps.
Figured someone was trying to break into one of the flats next to me (we've had 9 break-ins in the last two years, 7 of 'um by the druggie that lives two doors next to me. Well, at least 7).
First I figured the other neighbors would do something about it and call the cops - I have one of those phones where ya insert cash on that you then can call for, and was outta credits. But no cops came, and the thumping kept on. So took a baseball bat, a few coins, opened the door, checked for an intruder: found no one. Walked up to a gas station bat in hand and called the cops.
First they suspected me I think: I was standing out in front of the window watching the light go out as I approached: baseball bat ready. These were old cops: around 45-50 years, pot bellied and around my size. Yet their body language made it quite clear to me that it was a very good idea for me to a) put the bat down and b) explain just what the hell I was doing.
Anyway, the cops checked the apartment - the door was totally broken; three pieces, two hanging there and one on the floor. The burglar was nowhere to be seen. i mentioned that the neighbor is a druggie so they knocked on his door and after a while he opened. Claimed he'd been sleeping and hadn't heard a thing.
What followed was VERY amusing. The cops didn't say much. The druggie got more and more nervous just by the cops standing there, assuming differet poses and changing facial expressions. Eventually he talked himself into a bad position, slipped a few words too many and basically confessed. Very amusing.
Too bad the idiot will just be fined and then released. Am renewing my home insurance which I had neglected to pay because of shortage of money now.
And why the hell did my other neighbors do NOTHING? Makes me wonder about people.
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man, we are funny monkeys.
there is even a right of way law (for cryin out loud) for walking on the sidewalks in the u.s. - stay right - not very complex huh?
...and still these daily little mini-confrontations take place over and over and over. especially in big cities.
easily half the sidewalk is walking on the left, across the sidewalk or even just standing there - dazed look on their face, blabbing on the cell phone, dancing around 60 other people and wondering why the city is so iritating.
i mean you'd think people might have the situational awareness to follow a simple routine to get where they are going most efficiently but most can barely recall their name at any given moment much less think about their most efficient path across a sidewalk.
1000 more years of evolution maybe....until then it's a posturing and chestbeating contest. at 6'3" 230 i guess i got lucky! of course twitching like a speed freak spun out at the end of a 4 day tweak binge helps too - especially on the bus or subway. :eek:
[ 09-01-2001: Message edited by: mrfish ]