Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: VOR on July 19, 2006, 08:19:08 AM

Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: VOR on July 19, 2006, 08:19:08 AM
What could possibly be more useless? Maybe 2,000 copies of Jerry Lewis' greatest telethon moments would be less popular, but then again it would weigh alot less. So, in an effort to maximise military potential, we put it to good use. Some skeptics have referred to it as a monument to the stupidity of man. Make no mistake, though; I am King of All I Survey!!
(http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/3372/kingdavidub8.jpg)

PS: SHOTGUN!!!!
(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/8959/shotgunue4.jpg)
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Jackal1 on July 19, 2006, 08:50:02 AM
Wish I may
Wish I might
Have this I wish tonight
Are you satisfied?

Dig for gold
Dig for fame
You dig to make your name
Are you pacified?

All the wants you waste
All the things you've chased

Then it all crashes down
And you break your crown
And you point your finger
But there's no one around

Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But the castle's crumbled
And you're left with just a name

Where's your crown King Nothing?
Where's your crown?


:D
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: AquaShrimp on July 19, 2006, 12:51:42 PM
Dude, just drink 60 or 70 of them, and you'll get a buzz.  They have an alcohol content of about .05%.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: FUNKED1 on July 19, 2006, 02:01:05 PM
Just add a little vodka.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Kurt on July 19, 2006, 02:54:25 PM
Quote
Originally posted by eureka101
For american beer, I guess that's quite potent.


:rofl

Sad but true... At least when we speak of the big brewers...
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: AquaShrimp on July 19, 2006, 03:04:56 PM
Not 5%, .05%.  Non-alcoholic beer has just a smidgeon of alcohol in it.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: DREDIOCK on July 19, 2006, 06:14:47 PM
Cant ya just send it back?

OR find some sucker to trade for it?

Tell somenme you have a bunch of beer to trade.

dont tell em its Coors light
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: rpm on July 19, 2006, 06:26:08 PM
The only thing more inane was loading 300 cases of beer onboard our ship to be kept under lock and key untill we returned to port. The old man did'nt believe in drinking.

Luckily, he did'nt believe in thorough shakedowns either.:cool:
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: gunnss on July 20, 2006, 04:25:23 AM
LOL in GW1 I used to send the guys 5 L. cans of beer labeled Alcohol free, it worked out good when I finally was deployed south.....
Gunns
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: VOR on July 20, 2006, 06:55:12 AM
Hahaha, guys. We're open to suggestions about what we should do with this crap. If there's a good idea we'll do it and take pictures.

In the meantime, I rule from the beer throne with an aluminum fist.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: rpm on July 20, 2006, 11:04:26 AM
You could always make a still.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Neubob on July 20, 2006, 12:32:36 PM
Quote
Originally posted by VOR
Hahaha, guys. We're open to suggestions about what we should do with this crap. If there's a good idea we'll do it and take pictures.

In the meantime, I rule from the beer throne with an aluminum fist.


Well, my buddy and I, when confronted with useless carbonated beverages, usually use a Mossburg 500 loaded with 3 inch magnum steel bb shot. The Express rounds will pretty much turn a 2 liter bottle of sprite(heavily shaken and heated under the Virginia sun) inside out at a distance of 30 yards.

2000 cans you say?  Army?

Sounds like a job for a .50 cal.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Jackal1 on July 20, 2006, 12:41:32 PM
Weapons lethality test
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: B@tfinkV on July 20, 2006, 12:50:54 PM
surely somewhere in your billions of $$$ worth of tanks an guns you have a shell of the exact calibre that could use those cans as a slug.:D


get them to shoot some can rounds at insurgents as 'non-lethal' amunition and see if they still want to throw rocks at you..
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Tarmac on July 20, 2006, 01:01:02 PM
Cans as non-lethal?  My buddy threw me a beer can from about 20 yards over 4th of July weekend, and instead of letting it hit the water and picking it up after it floated back up (he was on a boat, I was in the water), I decided to catch it.  FYI, I become very smart and very athletic when I have a few beers in me.  

The lip of the can peeled a huge bloody flap of skin off my palm... in the perfect shape of a beer can top.  The flap has just healed to the point I could take the bandages off and not worry about it lifting up again.

I think the idea of beer cans + any high velocity projectile is a very good plan though.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Neubob on July 20, 2006, 02:02:44 PM
VOR, your prayers are answered!

the beer cannon (http://www.guzer.com/videos/beer_cannon.php)
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: AquaShrimp on July 20, 2006, 02:25:57 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Tarmac
Cans as non-lethal?  My buddy threw me a beer can from about 20 yards over 4th of July weekend, and instead of letting it hit the water and picking it up after it floated back up (he was on a boat, I was in the water), I decided to catch it.  FYI, I become very smart and very athletic when I have a few beers in me.  

The lip of the can peeled a huge bloody flap of skin off my palm... in the perfect shape of a beer can top.  The flap has just healed to the point I could take the bandages off and not worry about it lifting up again.

I think the idea of beer cans + any high velocity projectile is a very good plan though.


Tarmac, I don't think beer cans float.  On a rafting trip, my buddy became drunk and dumped my remaining three beers in the stream.  They sank.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Tarmac on July 20, 2006, 02:31:24 PM
Full (unopened) cans of Labatt definately float.  They take a little while to resurface, but they do come back up.  If they sank, we wouldn't have been throwing them at each other in the lake. :)
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: StarOfAfrica2 on July 20, 2006, 03:44:58 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Tarmac
Full (unopened) cans of Labatt definately float.  They take a little while to resurface, but they do come back up.  If they sank, we wouldn't have been throwing them at each other in the lake. :)


There's your answer.  It was Labatts.  It wasnt floating, the lake was rejecting it.  :D
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: SMIDSY on July 20, 2006, 04:42:23 PM
well, once you get back to the states (or some country that allows drinking), here is the ultimate drink:


its called the "Ball Blaster", this is because it will shoot your balls off.


1 shot of moonshine (optional)
2 shots of bacardi 151
3 fingers of rum
1 finger of bourbon
2 fingers of grenedine (spelling?)


and if you cant get moonshine, add as much amaretto as you can in the glass.


then chase it with a warm beer.




yes, i have tried it (i invented it). once you do, you will understand what "shoot your balls off" means. :aok
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: AquaShrimp on July 20, 2006, 04:45:33 PM
Smidsy, my friends were drinking Jim Beam straight out of the bottle.  So I tried it, took a little swig straight.  Then for the next 3 minutes I was doubled over coughing and nearly puking trying to get that poison out of my mouth and body.

Think I'll just stick to beer and rum n' coke.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: GtoRA2 on July 20, 2006, 04:51:59 PM
Big field, video camera, and a whats that full auto Grenade laucher you can mount on the same mount an M2 will go on? M-19?
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: LePaul on July 20, 2006, 04:52:03 PM
Feed it to some blondes.  They'll most certainly get drunk from that.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Neubob on July 20, 2006, 05:17:15 PM
Quote
I feel the need to repeat myself
the beer cannon (http://www.guzer.com/videos/beer_cannon.php)
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: rpm on July 20, 2006, 11:13:05 PM
Quote
Originally posted by AquaShrimp
Smidsy, my friends were drinking Jim Beam straight out of the bottle.  So I tried it, took a little swig straight.  Then for the next 3 minutes I was doubled over coughing and nearly puking trying to get that poison out of my mouth and body.

Think I'll just stick to beer and rum n' coke.
Jeez Shrimpy, just as I was starting to like you, you go and post something girly like that.

:(
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Scherf on July 21, 2006, 12:48:20 AM
"Non-alcoholic Coors beer."


ehmmmm


...


not to stir the pot but ...


...



How does that differ from regular Coors beer?
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: Holden McGroin on July 21, 2006, 12:57:06 AM
It's... non alcoholic.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: StarOfAfrica2 on July 21, 2006, 01:12:47 AM
Regular Coors only TASTES like slightly carbonated pee water.  It still has the alcohol.

This removes even that small saving grace.
Title: 2000 cans of Coors non-alcoholic beer!
Post by: VOR on July 21, 2006, 07:13:05 AM
I drank one. It tasted like dishwater.

We were this >.< close to having the old man convinced taking them out and blowing them up mith a .50 was a great idea. He chickened out when we talked about posting it on the net. Something about photos and videos of troops shooting with/at beer causing some kind of public sphincter spasm.

Maybe a trebuchet. Get medieval.