Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Vudak on July 27, 2006, 01:44:55 PM
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Time's short, so the story will be too.
A few months ago I lost a pretty good friend to a heroin overdose. It's been an ongoing problem in my preppy, white, middle-class town.
That kid had been trying to get clean for some time. He'd go off and live with his grandparents states away for weeks to try and conquer his addiction.
Then he'd make the mistake of having another individual pick him up from the airport when he returned. Individual #2 would then offer him more needles.
A week later, I was at a wake.
Now, Individual #2 has died from a heroin overdose. And quite frankly I'm not very upset. I almost feel like a Somali rejoicing back in '93, if you get my meaning.
Is this wrong? Probably is, but I think I might forgive myself this one. I knew Individual #2 for something like 6 or 7 years now, same as #1. But have never really cared for him, especially after he pretty much got a good portion of the town hooked on heroin. For whatever reason, many looked up to him, and followed his lead.
So here's a morals/ethics debate. Am I supposed to be sad to hear this, or happy that the ringleader is finally gone so to speak? What would be your reaction?
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Sad that a human being has died.
Neither sad or happy that a low life drug dealer has died.
My highschool is known as Herion high in all of Western New York. Mostly because our school is public about the problem. Reminder that my school is in the heart of suburbia. Mostof these kids dont know what a city is. Anyway, herion is the new drug going around. Kids (males) have been known to put herion on tampons and insert them in their rearend. Sickening...when these people die Im not happy or sad.
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So... you're not sorry that someone has passed.
Don't worry about it. You're not immoral or unethical. You're human.
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A philosophy I have followed for a very long time is "follow your heart"; Our feelings are our feelings. C.G. Jung said: "A man's irrationality is expressed through his feelings".
John Lennon put it: "There's nothing you can feel that can't be felt".
My advice: skip the guilt and embrace your feelings for what they are. It's through this kind of introspective that we find out who we really are.
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Here's a story run by our town newspaper recently. It refers to my friend's death (Chris Luebeck) and the growing problem. I haven't had a chance to read it yet myself (at work, just heard of it from a phone call), but I'll get back with my comments later...
Here's the Link, story below (http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16974219&BRD=1666&PAG=461&dept_id=553674&rfi=6)
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Officers arrested a Terryville woman Sunday in connection with a June 20 burglary that took place in broad daylight at the historic Sanford & Hawley building supply store on the corner of routes 4 and 167.
Police said three individuals walked in while the store was open and made off with $600 worth of copper flashing. An arrest warrant states they sold the merchandise to a scrap metal business for a percentage of its value.
Police said their intent was simple: they stole and traded the copper for money to buy heroin.
In another incident four weeks ago, police said a former resident walked into a Route 4 gas station wearing a friend's shirt over his head while brandishing a knife.
He wanted money. It didn't matter that he knew the clerk and would be easily recognized. It also didn't matter that his court case for his arrest for shooting up heroin with two others in the Unionville McDonald's was still pending.
Less than a month earlier, an East Farms resident died from a heroin overdose alone in a local park. About three weeks before his death, he was arrested by University of Connecticut Health Center police for carting an expensive piece of equipment out of the facility's library - presumably to pawn to get high. That same week, he was also arrested by Farmington and West Hartford police for possession of heroin.
In nearly every case, the same suspects have been arrested over and over again by Farmington police for both possession of heroin and for burglaries or thefts - even from their own families.
It's not an epidemic - one Farmington parent estimates that his son hung out with about 30 area kids who all used heroin before his death - but it is a phenomenon that most residents of the Farmington Valley don't expect.
"I don't think it's widespread - marijuana use is probably a lot more prevalent - but the thing is in a town like this, you don't have drug dealers on every corner," said Farmington Police Chief James Rio. "We don't have slums, so people aren't necessarily aware it's a problem. We know they go to Hartford to get it and we know our officers are aggressive with arrests."
Rio said his department made 92 possession of narcotics arrests from July 2004 to June 30, 2006. To be considered a narcotics arrest, the suspect must be in possession of heroin or cocaine.
Arrests for other types of drug possession are far more common. During the same time period, Farmington police made 175 arrests for possession of a controlled substance or possession of less than four ounces of marijuana. A controlled drug is defined by federal and state laws as a substance that induces stimulant or depressant effects and has a potential to become addictive. Farmington police also made nine arrests for possession of a hallucinogenic or more than four ounces of marijuana.
Rio said many of the arrests are out-of-towners traveling through, but he acknowledged that many were repeat offenders who live in town and who are perpetrating other crimes.
"We can't toss every single car that comes through here but we do when we have a suspicion there is something going on," Rio said. "We know it's out there. Can the police do a lot about it? I don't think so."
While Avon and Canton police report that they haven't seen much heroin drug activity in recent years, other area departments said they are seeing the same pattern of crime in their towns.
Burlington and Simsbury police admit they regularly deal with the crime associated with heroin use including burglaries, overdoses, and the occasional operation of a drug factory that draws customers from several towns.
And many of the crimes are limited to a small core of individuals ages 19 to 23 who are hooked on heroin and stealing to support their habit.
"I think the problem is a lot greater than the average person realizes," said Burlington State Trooper Ray Buthe. "I wouldn't call it an epidemic, but for the kids who are involved, it's such a serious matter. This drug is a poison and it can kill you the first time you use and it can kill you anytime you use it. It slows the heart rate and breathing. Every time you do it, you don't know if you're going to die."
Buthe said like Farmington, Burlington has a small group of kids that use heroin and commit burglaries to buy drugs.
"We can trace just about all of our daytime burglaries to drugs and the worst is heroin," Buthe said. "Even if we don't make an arrest, we usually conclude this is who likely did it and if I look back over the statistics, it's almost always connected to heroin."
Treatment specialists attribute the popularity of heroin in the suburbs to the cost.
"Usually the first drug of abuse is a prescription drug, but then the cost quickly becomes unmanageable," said Paul McLaughlin, executive director of the Hartford Dispensary, the largest drug rehabilitation program run by the state.
"You can be addicted to oxycontin and dish out $300 to $400 a day or you can use heroin at $50 to $70 a day," McLaughlin explained. "Most addicts are socially intelligent; they know heroin is more affordable."
Buthe said the low cost and a steady supply of heroin have only made the drug more accessible to suburban kids and adults.
"The price of heroin has actually come down where the price of everything else has gone up," Buthe said. "The supply is high right now, and when you have that, you'll have a lower price."
But Buthe said despite the low cost, since heroin is highly addictive, users become desperate and find inventive ways to steal from strangers and their family to get their hands on quick cash.
Farmington resident Mark Luebeck, who lost his 22-year-old son Chris to a heroin overdose on May 31, admits he and his wife had discovered gold and silver coins missing from their home in the weeks before their son's death. At this time of his death, Chris had several drug possession, burglary and larceny charges pending.
Buthe said it's not uncommon for him to receive reports three or four times a year that an entire neighborhood had vehicle break-ins during the overnight hours.
"It's always cars that were left unlocked and they always take one thing - the spare change left between the seats," Buthe said. "If you can hit 10 cars and get about $5 a car, that's enough for one day's high."
Buthe also said that daytime burglaries are popular with heroin addicts but they tend to only take items that won't be a hassle to pawn.
"Cash definitely, a bit of jewelry, even those jars of change your kids keep in their room," Buthe said. "We tell parents, if your kid is going to keep change in a bottle, deposit it in the bank at least once a month, because that's a prime target for drug burglaries."
Simsbury and Farmington police have both made highly publicized drug busts in the past seven months. Simsbury police said one drug operation sprung up at the Iron Horse Inn in early March.
By the time two area SWAT teams raided the operation in April, the police found two men selling several different types of drugs including heroin, cocaine and prescription medications out of three hotel rooms at the Inn.
Simsbury police also said they discovered during the course of the investigation that the patrons of the drug factory included residents of Unionville, Avon, New Hartford, Simsbury and Granby.
"It was people from all kinds of economic backgrounds," said Simsbury police officer Nick Boyoulter. "It's an issue everywhere; not just here, but out of state as well."
Farmington police busted a Lake Garda couple in December after neighbors reported suspicious activity taking place at the house. A police warrant indicates that the couple was purchasing as much as 1,500 one-hit bags of heroin a week from a Hartford drug dealer, which they would in turn sell to customers in Farmington for $10 a bag.
A warrant for the couple's arrest said that during the course of the investigation, local kids who were purchasing from the couple were also ratting them out to police, presumably in exchange for leniency as they themselves were being arrested for possession of heroin charges.
Rio said at one point, members of the same general group of kids who are known heroin users were found panhandling at Post Office Square on Main Street, probably in an attempt to gather drug money.
"We've had one kid who has overdosed three times. The best we can do is make people aware it's out there," Rio said. "We'll bring Drak (the town's new police canine) into the high school to increase the safety of the school. But we also know sometimes it's a matter of family dysfunction and even when it's not, families are having a hard time controlling it. There's not much the police can do about that. We are doing our share."
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I'd say you are lucky to hang around with people with those addictions and all that goes along with it and still be alive and healthy yourself.
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I've been called cold because of my attitude toward death. But the way I figure it, why should I play the "I can look like I'm out grieving you" game? Who's the ******* then?
If grief comes naturally, don't fight it. If it doesn't, there's no need to put on a show for the benefit of yourself or others.
I lost a friend to heroin also, and cried at his funeral because of the memories of good times as kids and remembering what he was like when he would briefly straighten out. If I remember him like that, it's worth feeling grief. If I remember the crap he put his family and himself through it's a bit easier to say "God works in strange ways and maybe it was for the best." It straightened his brother out, so at least some good came of it.
In a horribly fatalistic and cold way, this about sums it up:
(http://www.math.rutgers.edu/~sferry/Demotivators/Mistakes.jpg)
Yeah, I'm an ass.
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Sorry to hear that Vudak. As someone who has lost friends to drug overdoses and drug violence, my heart goes out to you.
A few years ago one of my good friends was shot in the back of the head, decapitated, with head and hands removed to delay identification of the body and the culprit (also an aquaintance of ours) fled to Aruba. This was at the same time as the Janet Jackson tittie episode. Some of you may have heard of it.
At any rate, I would initially look on the one who helped to keep you friend hooked as I do the bastard who killed my friend: Good riddance and don't drop the soap (theres no death penalty in Michigan, hes there for life).
but then again.....giving someone drugs isn't the same as shooting them in the back of the head. Assumedly culprit #2 had his own problem with heroin, and moreover would have had different moral judgements over heroin. He probably didn't think giving his friend drugs was anything but a favor to his friend, even if he was hurting and condemning his/your friend in the process.
I would council you not to hate with a heavy heart, but to only pity. The problem with the drug war is that no one is right. We are all wrong, and there are no winners.
As xrtoronto advised, follow your heart. It will seldom lead you astray.
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Tarmac has a good point.
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Tarmac,
I wouldn't call you an bellybutton whatsoever. Just pragmatic. I've been told I "don't even care" before too (well, till I read the eulogy, anyway).
Mustaine,
You see, I have at least half a brain. Unfortunately these kids don't. They are good kids, I think, but then again I knew them back in the day before they got into this stuff.
Everyone,
I do appreciate the condolensces, but I'm not really grieving here, trust me. I posted this about 5 minutes after I heard the news, which was probably a mistake. I just find it interesting that, for the first time in my life, I'm actually pretty happy that another human being I happened to know fairly well is dead. The way I see it, either this (2nd strike) will serve as a wake-up call to the others, or, if it doesn't, at least there's one less ringleader who'll be around to convince them not to give it up.
On another note, there was another article today. All the kids mentioned were friends of mine years ago, some still are to this day. This weekend I'll be taking one of them out to try and convince him that alcohol is the only drug he needs ;)
I really had to laugh at the mention of the lockdown part. That was Luebeck at his best... "An Incident" :rofl He had a pipe (marijuana) on him and a teacher thought it was a gun buldging from his pocket. He ran when she asked what it was, the school was locked down, we were all sent into the corners of locked rooms with the drapes down while police dogs from various nearby towns went after him. I guess you had to be there, but it was one of those things you couldn't help but laugh about.
Here's the other article:
Direct Link (http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16974213&BRD=1666&PAG=461&dept_id=553674&rfi=6)
"They had been here about two weeks prior to that," Mark recalls. "I didn't know if they wanted to shake him down again or what. I tried not to let him in but when he insisted I knew something was wrong."
The Farmington police officer assigned to visit the Luebecks' home came to deliver devastating news. Chris had been found dead a short while before in Batterson Park. Police believed he died of a heroin overdose. He was 22.
After watching his son for nearly five years repeat the cycle of losing job after job, stealing from his family, getting arrested and attempting to regain control of his life, Mark didn't question the cause of death.
"It was the biggest shock of my life," Mark admits. "It did surprise me that my son was dead from heroin. I wanted to think that part of him would come out of it."
Mark said Chris freely admitted he was part of a group of about 30 kids from Farmington and surrounding towns who used heroin on a regular basis.
Chris was well known to police.
In March 2005, he and a friend, Ryan Nordgren, 21, of Burlington, burglarized a Brickyard Road business to grab tools to pawn for drug money.
A few months later, as Farmington police served Nordgren the warrant for the burglary arrest, he was also arrested for possession of narcotics when police found a needle full of heroin.
Another one of Chris's friends, Christopher Knibbs, 22, was caught shooting up heroin in the bathroom of the Unionville McDonald's just days before Chris died. A third friend, Craig MacDonald, 21, was also arrested in the bathroom incident.
About a month after Chris died, MacDonald was arrested for holding up a Route 4 gas station at knifepoint.
Mark said he moved his family to Farmington when Chris was in his early teens. He said they had brought their three sons up to play sports and encouraged healthy activities.
Their 21-year son Michael is on the dean's list at Keene State in New Hampshire. Their youngest son Keith, 18, graduated from Farmington High School June 23.
Mark said by the time Chris attended middle school in Plainville, he was getting into minor scrapes with authority. He was caught shoplifting, but expressed extreme remorse and promised not to do it again.
Chris finally dropped out of Farmington High School at 16 after an incident that led to the lockdown of the school.
"Once he dropped out, that was it," Mark explains. "You have a 16-year-old kid with nothing to do, that's dangerous."
Mark said although Chris was a hard worker, his addiction would eventually get the better of him every time.
"I don't think heroin knows the difference between an A student and a dropout," Mark said. "Every employer he worked for had such praise for him. But every time he could get his hands on money, or something he could steal to get money, he'd get fired."
Mark said the family now realizes that Chris had been exhibiting signs of drug addiction well before they knew what was happening.
"The number one thing I would tell parents is, pay attention to your possessions," Mark said. "The first time something's missing, you think you just misplaced it. But the second time, you need to understand your kid is stealing items from your home to sell them for drugs."
Mark said Chris would use any method to get a "head rush" - a temporary feeling of disorientation or a quick euphoric high - including bending over repeatedly to make the blood rush to and from his head.
"I found hundreds of spent lighters in his room," Mark said. "He was inhaling the Butane. I even found him stealing pain medication I had for a back injury. He'd get high on sulfur. This was a true physical addiction."
As Chris made his descent into hell, Mark said the family fought hard to support him, including taking him back into the house even when they knew the chances for his recovery seemed slim.
"We would say to him, 'We know you came home so you could steal from us,'" Mark said. "It was a constant fight. My wife caught him with a needle in his arm. They tell you what you want to hear and it sounds good, because you really do want to hear it. We gave him so many chances."
In the weeks leading up to his death, Chris had a span of eight days in early May when he was arrested by three different law enforcement agencies. The West Hartford and Farmington police departments charged him with possession of narcotics. The University of Connecticut Health Center police charged him with third-degree larceny.
Mark said his son had just done a stint living in the woods in Unionville. But he had come home. As in the past, Mark said, the family was loving but leery. The night he died, Chris was about two blocks from their East Farms' house.
Mark admits that Chris was due in court on June 2 and he would have likely been sentenced to four or five years in jail.
Six weeks after his death, an autopsy conducted by the office of the state Chief Medical Examiner would list Chris's cause of death as heroin toxicity. The report does not indicate whether it was the quantity or the quality of the drug that killed him.
"I'm not bitter, I'm terribly hurt," Mark said. "I am bitter that this drug took his life and right now I'm mad. Nothing compares to losing a child. I had always hoped that Chris and I would be best friends. I knew we were going to be that way, but Chris and I never had a chance."
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68 Hawk, you're right. Giving an adict drugs or getting a recovering adict drugs isn't like shooting them in the head. It's not that nice at all. At least by shooting them it would be over very soon. By getting them hooked you have sent them to a much slower form of going to hell while still alive. So much suffering to go through for them, their family and others near them because a "friend" got another hooked. That's actually something you would do to your worst enemy, not a friend.
Calling this a victimless crime is so much BS I can't hardly stand the stench. It doesn't matter whether its alcohol or some illicit drug. Setting someone up for addiction is hardly the act of friendship. Addiction isn't a disease per se, it's a choice made by an individual that causes them to have a disease of addiction to a substance not needed for survival. I realize that doesn't make sense at first blush but think about it. Any addict wasn't an addict until they decided to use the addictive subsance and their decision was not based on survival or quality of life. It was based on I wanna feel good. This is excluding those who became addicted through treatment that was medically necessary at the time.
I feel absolutely no pity whatsoever for a pusher that has died. I feel sorry for the victims of the pusher, those they got hooked and those who suffered for the actions of the addict intent on getting more drugs.
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It's all about your own will power and having good friends to keep you straight.
10 years ago, i lost my friend, and bandmate, J.J. to h. He was an addict for a long time, and no matter how much moral support me and the other guys in the band gave him, he would aways fall off the wagon.
I was recently digging through old tapes, and found one of us in the rehearsal studio. It was really wild to hear him on the tape, making stupid jokes, that still make me laugh 10 years later. I almost reached for the phone to give him a call......
:furious :huh :cry
Sorry you lost your friend Vudak.
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Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.
I've been in your shoes, several times.
Sorry
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Thankfully some folks pull their heads out of the proverbial butts, like Nash did. Hoping he drops a comment of how he chose life rather than a life of death....
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Thankfully some folks pull their heads out of the proverbial butts, like Nash did. Hoping he drops a comment of how he chose life rather than a life of death....
I hope he does too... I have many more friends hooked on the stuff. Dunno if any of you read the articles, but they listed "30." I know a good portion of them, and truth be told, I expect to have to update this thread every two months. Apparently they've all reached a point where they have to up their doses or something, because as it stands every week I get a call saying "so and so's in the hospital again" or "so and so got arrested again."
They're really running a race to prison here. The whole trick is, can they survive long enough to get locked up?
But what can I do? I take one of them up to the family house on Lake Champlain to get him out there fishing and having clean fun, and I would like to bring him every weekend, but then again I don't want him to remember how to get there, either. So now I'm basically taking him out locally every weekend, trying to turn him into a drunk :rolleyes:
It's tough trying to help friends with a heroin addiction. But then again, one of these kids (the one I'm trying to help) really was a stand up guy before he got into this mess. It would be a real shame to lose him. :(
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I doubt it's either pity or joy you feel about #2's death, it's probably more of a relief feeling. I had those feelings years ago with a totally unrelated situation and had the same question. After much introspection I realized I had carried too much responsibility when in actuality I had no control over the situation.
Hang in there man, you're human. It's ok to question feelings, and as someone else said it leads to the path of self discovery and awareness.
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Drug dealers are scum, no sympathy for them at all
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Originally posted by Vudak
I hope he does too... I have many more friends hooked on the stuff. Dunno if any of you read the articles, but they listed "30." I know a good portion of them, and truth be told, I expect to have to update this thread every two months. Apparently they've all reached a point where they have to up their doses or something, because as it stands every week I get a call saying "so and so's in the hospital again" or "so and so got arrested again."
They're really running a race to prison here. The whole trick is, can they survive long enough to get locked up?
But what can I do? I take one of them up to the family house on Lake Champlain to get him out there fishing and having clean fun, and I would like to bring him every weekend, but then again I don't want him to remember how to get there, either. So now I'm basically taking him out locally every weekend, trying to turn him into a drunk :rolleyes:
It's tough trying to help friends with a heroin addiction. But then again, one of these kids (the one I'm trying to help) really was a stand up guy before he got into this mess. It would be a real shame to lose him. :(
Now, imagine we legalize all drugs...that'd fix the problem, wouldn't it? (Sarcasm)
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
Now, imagine we legalize all drugs...that'd fix the problem, wouldn't it? (Sarcasm)
I've never really been one for legalizing all drugs. Might be nice to legalize a few so we could concentrate on crushing the serious problem ones, though.
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Originally posted by Vudak
I've never really been one for legalizing all drugs. Might be nice to legalize a few so we could concentrate on crushing the serious problem ones, though.
I don't have a prob with legalizing small amounts of pot just to clear the prisons out of low-risk offenders to make room for the real slim.
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First of all, Vudak, it's nobody's business to tell you how to mourn, or even if you should. Your natural reaction is your natural reaction, and it's perfectly human and A-Okay.
I hesitate to write about this stuff because it's not exactly something to be proud of. By far. It's embarrassing. And it's deadly serious, which tends to bum people out. It shocks me to this very day. Probably always will.
Casual party conversation never leaves me with the desire to respond: "You think telling your boss that, dammit, you quit, is crazy? Try jamming the umpteenth dirty needle in your arm and then shootin' the syringe straight up to make blood designs on the ceiling the night before the landlord comes by for inspections." Try mentioning that your girlfriend wore out all of her veins, and begged you - crying - to shoot her in the neck. Try telling them that you did - because you understood - and that she immediately went unconscious and that you hurriedly finished off your own rig before calling an ambulance because once the ambulance came, the gig was up.
(she recovered, mid-dial, and we went to bed like nothing happened, only to do it all over again another day).
It makes me want to throw up just writing about it. And that wasn't near the worst of it. Not by half.
It's a whole nuther world. Addicts call people like you and me now "Normies."
Normies are people who know how to exist within the parameters of a civilized society. They go to school, then graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, pay bills, take their kids to Disneyland, retire. Normal stuff..... which seems utterly absurd and unappealing to anyone with a drug problem.
Because the best voodoo hypnotizing techniques and the bloodiest torture chambers in Syria haven't got a thing on that first, second, third, and 400th blast of heroin. I did triple that.
You begin to lie to yourself like you never could to anyone else. It becomes your world as familiar and as solid as your closest friends and your loving but bewildered family. The catch being that you give both of those up for it without a thought.
There's the odd gnawing empty feeling, but overall, you don't care one bit. By that time you're used to gnawing empty feelings and you know exactly how to alleviate them.
Now, everything out there becomes alien, uncomfortable, and undesirable. Your health, plans, and passions are of such unconcern. You wake up in the morning praying to god that you woke up after the dealers did....... because it's no fun waiting a couple of hours for them to deliver. That just meant two hours in the middle of a beautiful July morning freezing and puking in the toilet.
Sounds fun, right?
But we'd wake up, day in and day out, to do it all over again, and again, and again.
Any one of you might say "That's retarded." And you'd be right. But you wouldn't be addicted to heroin if you did.
It's just insane....
How does one overcome it? That's a fantastic question, because not I nor any professional I've met knows the answer to that. They know what tends to work, and they do an amazing job. And for anyone with a shred of hope left, the sight of that rope is a godsend.
There was alotta commotion when I outed myself with this problem here on the BBS a few years ago. And once again I tearfully give my thanks to Funked who drilled it into my head that there was no substitute for going to rehab. I'd heard of, like, Betty Ford and stuff, but I never did make the connection. I really had no idea that there are clinics and organizations and people out there who could help me with this.
Anyways.... I wrote a post here saying that (woohoo!) I was on my 3rd day of being clean, though a wreck, and that I was toughing it out. What a naive.... dumb thing to say, looking back. And the following two weeks were spent in a daze of drug use harder than before.
Uhm.... I'm getting a bit tired of talking about this. I'll pick up the rest soon. Maybe in a couple of days (it's funny now to say that it probably won't happen tomorrow because I've got a golf tournament, lol), but if the mood doesn't strike me later on tonight, I'll wrap it up over the weekend.
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Nash, I've said harsh things in the past to you, and I apologize for that. That must have hell. I'm glad you are among the living. I think you're still a nutter for your beliefs, but I have alot of respect for you being able to quit that crap.
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Nash, I really, truly appreciate your taking the time to type this. Because I really didn't have much of an idea what it was like, and it's pretty impossible to try and help someone when you have no idea what it's like.
Hell, I probably can't help them, anyway. But they're worth a try (or ten).
Once again, thank you VERY MUCH.
And I'm glad to find out there ARE people who pulled themselves out of this hell hole.
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Vudak, if you ever find yourself in that situation again(you doubtfuly will), do yourself a favor and make no compromises to get each and everyone of your friends, or your kids' friends, or whatever, off the habit. TBH I only skimmed your story because it reminds me of what I went thru and all it does is piss me off.
The difference between those friends I managed to 'save' and those that stuck to it is like night and day.
I don't want to take the credit for them now being radiant with health instead of pitiless pushers, homeless wraiths, or just locked up, because it really was just a matter of rekindling what they knew was in them.. but you really owe it to yourself to treat them no worse than you would yourself, if you were your own guardian angel.
You only live once, make it good.
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well if you were supposed to feel bad then your brain would tell you, but if your not, nothing to worry about...as you all know brain is what makes you do everything and im not going to explain further....if you were truly sad you would be but since your not thats ok, you just didnt really care for the guy, or its the fact he died from drugs thats making your brain think like that...like i said if your not sad dont worry about it. it does not make you evil or that doesnt make it wrong, it just means you dont feel sad for him...alot of people will do this at least once in their life time...
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im late in here but my view is simple.
indivdual #2 should have been the one that OD'ed first and helped clean up individual #1 with his death. #2 sounds like a coward who could not face his own addiction alone, and had to drag #1 with him.
#1 should have been strong enough to say no to #2.
sad but dont let anyone tell you you should feel anything other than you do. not ever. sometimes with people you really love change your ways because its worth it, but in most of life i'll trust my very first instict in any situation.
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Nash,
We have disagreed on many things , I may not like you or some of what you have to say but I can certainly say I have absolute respect for your having accomplished getting clean.
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I reacted the same way a few months ago, under much different circumstances, however. I don't think you should feel a thing at all from his death. If he didn't mean anything to you, why should it?
I'll give you a for keeping your head out of the clouds though. While the majority of my friends and classmates feel they need to drink, have sex, smoke, do drugs etc. i'm doing just fine without thank you, so I know your position. Stay strong, sorry about your friend.