Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Gunslinger on July 31, 2006, 10:35:40 AM

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: Gunslinger on July 31, 2006, 10:35:40 AM

I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!)

On impulse, I told her no,  I was starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
the last time. But  I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall  guy who was standing
behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

   I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and
a car hit me.

  I thought the guy standing behind her was going to have to have
help as he laughingly staggered to the door

:rofl

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: Donzo on July 31, 2006, 10:39:03 AM

:rofl

Title: Re: The Purina Diet
Post by: Ripsnort on July 31, 2006, 10:39:59 AM

Quote

Originally posted by Gunslinger
I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog? (Duh!)

On impulse, I told her no,  I was starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
the last time. But  I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall  guy who was standing
behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

   I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and
a car hit me.

  I thought the guy standing behind her was going to have to have
help as he laughingly staggered to the door

:rofl

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: Captain Virgil Hilts on July 31, 2006, 11:12:45 AM

BWAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: SunKing on July 31, 2006, 11:41:22 AM

This just hit 10-20 forums at once.

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: Gunslinger on July 31, 2006, 12:07:45 PM

Quote

Originally posted by SunKing
This just hit 10-20 forums at once.

LOL that's funny cause I just got in an email from my folks this morning.

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: Meatwad on July 31, 2006, 02:09:37 PM

:rofl  Thats a new one to me

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: rpm on July 31, 2006, 03:23:57 PM

:rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: The Purina Diet
Post by: Sparks on July 31, 2006, 03:52:32 PM

ROFLMAO.

That brightened up my day Guns :aok