Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: DiabloTX on August 13, 2006, 12:41:37 AM
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Chuck Norris rents videos and never rewinds them, ever.
When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
Jehovah’s Witnesses once tried to convert Chuck Norris. After four
minutes of interrogation, they admitted Chuck Norris was God.
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with ”< Chuck Norris”.
If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Chuck Norris spared your
life.
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance
Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
Every day is the longest day of Chuck Norris’s life. For terrorists, the
shortest.
What color is Chuck Norris’s blood? Trick question. Chuck Norris does
not bleed.
Chuck Norris once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
When Chuck stares into the sun, the sun flintches.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken,
but Chuck Norris says its beef. Then it’s beef.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now
is because Chuck Norris does not feel like carrying you.
James Bond has a license to kill. Chuck Norris don’t need any licenses.
Chuck Norris’ calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no
one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once double teamed a girl.. by himself.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Chuck Norris. Sounds like a fair
fight.
Chuck Norris was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Chuck
Norris.
When the kids born in the twenty first century grow up they will not
have heroes, but rather Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the only hero.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When life gave Chuck Norris lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Chuck Norris hates lemonade.
Chuck Norris doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was
shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
You can lead a horse to water. Chuck Norris can make him drink.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him
blink.
Chuck Norris once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5
CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who
downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
Simon Says should be renamed to Chuck Norris Says because if Chuck
Norris says something then you better do it.
Killing Chuck Norris doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Chuck Norris would vote for Hillary Clinton to be president just so he
could assassinate her.
Chuck Norris does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.
When Google can’t find something, it asks Chuck Norris for help.
In 96 hours, Chuck Norris has killed 93 people and saved the world 4
times. What have you done with your life?
There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chuck Norris way. It’s
basically the right way but faster and more deaths.
Why did the terorrist cross the street? To get hit by a car before Chuck
Norris could get him.
When Chuck Norris watches a pot, it boils immediately.
Chuck Norris once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball
point pen. This lead to the phrase “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Chuck Norris less
than an hour. And he’s done it twice.
In kindergarten, Chuck Norris killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
It would only take 1 bullet for Chuck Norris to kill 50 Cent.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck
Norris.
Chuck Norris can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without
instructions or an alan key.
Scissors are scared to run with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris got Hellen Keller to talk.
People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris
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Wrong forum and a 7 months late.
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Tell it to Chuck.
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When you go to bed tonight, as your laying there drifting off into the blissfull ether of deep sleep know this, Chuck Norris is stalking you, Chuck Norris is looking for an open window, an unlocked door.......Chuck has wood for you and Chuck will be fulfilled, ultimately, and you will know the full brute force of Chuck Norris....and tomorrow morning when you regain your mental faculties stripped from you in the previous eve, you will never again diss the man, the legend.
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So we are in agreement then? Chuck Norris and Chuck Yeager are legends. Gotta be that name...
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homoerotic. (yeager fans, especially)
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lay off my bud Norris.....the man is a HERO!
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if norris finds out ur dissin him he will i quote "end you"
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QUAH!!11!1!!! indeed...
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Chuck Norris is the Tool of Tools.
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Originally posted by DiabloTX
Scissors are scared to run with Chuck Norris.
LMFAO!!
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When Chuck Norris is doing push-ups, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.
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Chuck Yeager once shot down a fleet of 109's with just one bullet.
Chuck Yeager is the only man to jump out of his plane, land on an enemy's plane, kill the pilot, and then jump back into his P-51 and keep fighting.
Chuck Yeager is the only man allowed to drive his P-51 around town and take up 5 parking spots at Cracker Barrel.
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Joe lewis kicked the watermelon out of Chuck Norris in 1967. Allan Steen kicked the watermelon out of Chuck Norris in 1967. Louis DelGado kicked the watermelon out of Chuck Norris in 1968, and that was the last time he lost a bout!:aok
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bruce lee kicked chucks butt !
even from the grave (if he really is ded lol) he could kick chucks butt
nuff said bout OLD chuck
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Originally posted by WilldCrd
bruce lee kicked chucks butt !
even from the grave (if he really is ded lol) he could kick chucks butt
nuff said bout OLD chuck
I agree!
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Originally posted by WilldCrd
bruce lee kicked chucks butt !
even from the grave (if he really is ded lol) he could kick chucks butt
nuff said bout OLD chuck
Amen.
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chucks dyes his hair.
:cool:
(http://static.flickr.com/38/75416885_f536b3a886_m.jpg)
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Originally posted by JB88
chucks dyes his hair.
:cool:
(http://static.flickr.com/38/75416885_f536b3a886_m.jpg)
sheesh, he looks like a rugged Richard Simmons in that picture!
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Chuck Norris has more money than any of us dolts :cool:
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When Chuck Norris farts he blows a new hole in the ozone layer.
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Huraah for Chuck!
(http://www.onpoi.net/ah/pics/users/68_1151264645_chucknorris.jpg)
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Chuck Norris and Richard Simmons are in the same class. They're both gay and shave their legs.
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Originally posted by Masherbrum
Chuck Norris and Richard Simmons are in the same class. They're both gay and shave their legs.
Say it ain't so!!! Simmons is GAY???!!! Take it back you...you...YOU!
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Originally posted by DiabloTX
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck
Norris.
Personally If I was the Boogie man I would be more worried about finding Richard Simmons in my bedroom closet than Chuck
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did somebody say Richard Simmons?
(http://www.paladin-web-design.com/ryans/images/smiley/Richard_Simmons_1.jpg)
did anyone notice if u glance at richard simmons real quick he almost looks like pauly shore?
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When Chuck Norris came out of the closet he opened the door so hard to announce himself, that he tore a hole in the fabric of the space time continuim.:O
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i170/Dablues/thGAY.jpg)
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Chuck Norris stomped his foot at the spawn camp tonight and four tanks rolled over on their backs and died.
Anyone claiming Chuck Norris is gay is obviously in need of therapy. Chuck Norris doesnt care though because he knows they have to live with their problems everyday.
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Originally posted by Chalenge
Chuck Norris stomped his foot at the spawn camp tonight and four tanks rolled over on their backs and died.
Anyone claiming Chuck Norris is gay is obviously in need of therapy. Chuck Norris doesnt care though because he knows they have to live with their problems everyday.
he's gay.
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Chuck Norris once shot down four LA7s in a fight while flying a B5N.
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Chuck Norris says..............mommy! This is the sound a coward makes! :aok
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the devil was only another gay extra on richard simmon's excercise videos until he made a deal with chuck norris.
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On the first day God created the heavens and earth...but only after he asked permission from chuck norris.
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around a year ago chuck norris did a belly flop in the ocean. indonesia has respectfully requested that he not do it again...without some kind of warning.
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The reason no one can find Osama Bin Laden is Chuck Norris performed his little known death blow the"Black Widow" on him. The death blow is essentially this. Chuck performs a very violent intrusive act on his victim (think an aggressive Richard Simmons)and then eats him alive!:O
(http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i170/Dablues/thgayalarm.jpg)