Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: BlueJ1 on September 24, 2006, 12:30:23 PM
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Its that time of year again. Mmm...A heaping bowl of it. Some hot sauce. And a giant peice of bread with butter.
:aok
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I'll never understand Yankee cooking. Everyone knows the only proper ways to enjoy chili is with saltine crackers or cronbread.
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Originally posted by rpm
I'll never understand Yankee cooking. Everyone knows the only proper ways to enjoy chili is with saltine crackers or cronbread.
Saltine crackers are amazing. We dont have any. Or else they would be eatn. We just got done with a turkey soup run so the oyster crackers are leftover.
Cornbreak is good to. Again dont have any.
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Good food ,football, cooler temps..aint Fall great?
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My favorite time of year.
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Don't forget the sprinkles of a sharp cheddar cheese and onions.
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I like chili with lots of noodles, lots of meat. Its a mistake to add onions imo. Maybe some cubed tomatoes, with a few beans (or none at all).
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Noodles? Good way to ruin it.
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Here ya go......
A Texas Chili Contest
Warning - If you can read this whole story without laughing out loud,
then you need to develop a sense of humor.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the
first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes
around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio
city park.
The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was
visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment
and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was
assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't
be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer
during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the
advent: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2
-- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 -- (Frank) What the
hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway.
Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one.
These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2
-- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge
# 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted
to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when
they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge #
3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I
have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting **** faced from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge
# 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or
other mild foods; not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something
scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to
burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with
fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like
this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded
beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a
strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off
my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I ripped bellybutton and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers,
onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a
straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I **** myself
when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair! No one
seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my bellybutton with a
snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried
about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing
uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull
the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and
the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered
with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of
lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what
killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it;
I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in
through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final
entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see
that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over,
and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going
to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot
chili?
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Originally posted by rpm
I'll never understand Yankee cooking. Everyone knows the only proper ways to enjoy chili is with saltine crackers or cronbread.
:aok
Dammit, I'm hungry now.
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is cronbread made from ground up clocks?
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damn what's that smell?
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ROFL hornet
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Anyone that's been in Hawaii for any length of time knows that rice goes with chili.
I can almost smell the exhaust from the roach coach...
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Originally posted by AquaShrimp
I like chili with lots of noodles,
noodles? jesus freakin christ..
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Originally posted by RedRadr
noodles? jesus freakin christ..
That's how they make it in the chili capital, Cinci.
3 Way = Cheese/Chili/Spaghetti
4 Way = Onions/Cheese/Chili/Spaghetti
5 Way = Ontions/Cheese/Beans/Chili/Spaghetti
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Originally posted by FUNKED1
That's how they make it in the chili capital, Cinci.
3 Way = Cheese/Chili/Spaghetti
4 Way = Onions/Cheese/Chili/Spaghetti
5 Way = Ontions/Cheese/Beans/Chili/Spaghetti
That ain't chili.
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(http://www.roadfood.com/photos/1380.jpg)
droool
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:huh
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funked is that the before or after pic,, j/k
might try it. how bad are the after effects.
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Crackers? Cornbread?
You gotta have flour tortillas... toasty hot.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Crackers? Cornbread?
You gotta have flour tortillas... toasty hot.
Well that makes a helluva lot more sense than...spaghetti.
What's next? Ketchup on eggs?
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Originally posted by FUNKED1
That's how they make it in the chili capital, Cinci.
3 Way = Cheese/Chili/Spaghetti
4 Way = Onions/Cheese/Chili/Spaghetti
5 Way = Ontions/Cheese/Beans/Chili/Spaghetti
You lost me at Cinci...:rolleyes:
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Recipes People!
We need Recipes!
RTR
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Originally posted by FUNKED1
(http://www.roadfood.com/photos/1380.jpg)
droool
Yeah buddy, that looks delicious!!
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actually now I am inclined to make my chili :aok
eating chili with onions and cheese and sour cream on top, with a few pieces of buttered sourdough bread onthe side = teh awsome!!!11
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Originally posted by Mustaine
actually now I am inclined to make my chili :aok
eating chili with onions and cheese and sour cream on top, with a few pieces of buttered sourdough bread onthe side = teh awsome!!!11
Now that sounds perfect. :)
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Originally posted by RTR
Recipes People!
We need Recipes!
RTR
Ok here is my recipe.
Prepare one whole comfy couch.
Add a large screen TV.
Beg wife to whip up a bunch of food.
Have a case of beer on hand.
Have 2 friends come over.
Eat and drink until the late game is over on sunday night (friends go home after afternoon game so you can watch late game in underwear)
Pass out and call in sick Monday morning.
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Cincinnati "Chili" is a really poor excuse for chili. Hell, it's a poor excuse for food at all.
PS. I live in Cincinnati. I've lived here for 11 years. Trying to explain to the locals that Skyline and Whitecastle is crap is like trying to explain calculus to a bovine.
I've tried making chili a couple of times myself, but it's always been a disaster. I've used fancy recipies off the food channel. Guess I'll need to kick it DOWN a notch and try something simpler, like off the back of a can of chili beans or something.
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don't they put chocolate in the chili up in Cinci? crazy.
nothing is better than a Chili cook off in San Marcos, Texas!
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My dad is moving to cinci in the next few weeks or so, and is raving about the chili. he usually is considered to have gourmet tastes, but I think he is a bit off with his assumptions about cinci.
off the chili topic, whitecastle = the r0xx0r awsomE!1111111
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Originally posted by NATEDOG
don't they put chocolate in the chili up in Cinci? crazy.
Yes. At least I think so. But I've also heard of putting it in Texas chili as well. Not that it's a good thing.
My dad is moving to cinci in the next few weeks or so, and is raving about the chili. he usually is considered to have gourmet tastes, but I think he is a bit off with his assumptions about cinci.
Good luck with that! Wear adult diapers when you visit is all I can say... :D
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Originally posted by NATEDOG
don't they put chocolate in the chili up in Cinci? crazy.
Ever heard of mole?
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I have never heard of a texan putting chocolate in chili... I'm not saying it hasn't happen, by mistake or otherwise... I've just never heard of it.
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:O :O :mad: :mad: :furious u got teh ch0colate in my p3anut butter!!!11! :furious :mad: :mad: :furious
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Originally posted by RTR
Recipes People!
We need Recipes!
RTR
https://www.hitechcreations.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=172826&highlight=chili
Maybe we should a have chili forum :D
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Originally posted by NATEDOG
I have never heard of a texan putting chocolate in chili... I'm not saying it hasn't happen, by mistake or otherwise... I've just never heard of it.
If you watch Food Network as much as I do, you'll see it all. For example, I've seen them recommend you put a little chili powder (or was it cheyenne pepper?) in your melted chocolate...
Same theory, but in reverse.
Still, I can't stand Cincinnati Chili. It really doesn't have much flavor to it, except some spices. It comes out about the same consistency as it goes in, if you know what I mean...
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I make the best chilli you will never taste. It starts with flank steak marinaded in orange juice and carne asada seasoning. Then grilled over mesquite. Meat is cubed and slow cooked overnight in my own special chilli mix untill meat falls apart and wooden spoon can stand alone in it. Serv with lots of cheese some onions and white corn chips mmmmmm. Not meaning to boast but I have served this to hundreds of people at superbowl partys over the last 15 years and everyone has said the same thing. we want some more we want some more we want some more.
Oh and if the chilli it self wasent good enough. Chilli dogs and chilli burgers mmmmmmm good!
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Originally posted by rpm
I'll never understand Yankee cooking. Everyone knows the only proper ways to enjoy chili is with saltine crackers or cronbread.
I'll never use bread, always Saltines. However, I like cornbread and have never dipped it in chili.
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What I grew up on:
(http://www.luzianne.com/images/category/carroll_shelby_r3_c3.gif)
My mom must have had at least 3 bags of that at all times.
With her homemade cornbread it was unbeatable.
Dammit, I'm hungry again....
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Chili out of a bag?
Is it a airline bag?
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Sharp cheddar and cornbread with home made chili cooked all day, add a chilly fall day and it's a winner.
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No.
And yes. You could use the empty bag for whatever use your dark little mind thought up.
Notice the bag says "Chili kit". You brown the meat and all the spices you needed were in the bag. And even then my mom added a little horsepower of her own....jalapeno cornbread.
Dammit, now I'm really hungry.
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from the mother of all texas chili cook-offs....
http://www.chili.org/recipes.html
I got to be a guest judge there for a bikini / wet-T short contest....24 girls / 47 breast... man what a day..lmao.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(sauce)
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_De_Niro#Early_life
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Well here is one of my favorites....and I cant believe none of you Texas or southern gents mentioned the main ingredient
2 – 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2- 3 pounds ground venison
1 medium onion, diced
8 garlic cloves, minced
2 bell peppers, roasted
2 Anaheim peppers, roasted
2 cups prepared salsa
2 tablespoons chile powder
2 teaspoons cumin
2 tablespoons dried oregano flakes
1 quart cooked pinto beans, drained
3 - 4 tablespoons tomato paste
1/4 cups fresh cilantro, chopped
1 fresh lime, juice only
*** salt, pepper and Tabasco to taste
In a large stockpot over medium heat, heat oil and cook venison until lightly browned. Add next 4 ingredients and cook for 5 minutes. Add salsa and next 3 ingredients and simmer for 15 minutes. Add beans, 2 tablespoons of the tomato paste and cilantro. Heat to warm beans. If you want to thicken the chili, add additional tomato paste. Season with lime juice, salt, pepper and Tabasco.
If your not using venison in your chilli something is wrong!!!
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where is the heat in that recipe
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oh my effing gee hornet. :rofl :rofl :rofl
that story was the best laugh i have had all week
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Originally posted by DiabloTX
What I grew up on:
(http://www.luzianne.com/images/category/carroll_shelby_r3_c3.gif)
My mom must have had at least 3 bags of that at all times.
With her homemade cornbread it was unbeatable.
Dammit, I'm hungry again....
Carroll Shelby's is good stuff. Morton's is excellent if you can find it. I had to special order it last time I needed some.
I also highly recomend this stuff I just discovered. One of my mexican employees turned me on to it. Valentina has the best flavor of ANY hot sauce I've ever tasted, and that's a lot. You have to taste it to believe it.
(http://www.peppers.com/images/products/ACF4UZK8a.JPG)
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does it have vineagar in it?
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Water, chili peppers, vinegar, salt, spices, 0.1% sodium benzoate as a preservative.
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Everytime I read this thread I get hungry. Good thing I work in a supermarket.
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^
LOL, you lucky bastage! :D
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(http://www.cyberbilly.com/meathenge/images/sept05/Vegan04-thumb.jpg)
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Originally posted by DiabloTX
(http://www.cyberbilly.com/meathenge/images/sept05/Vegan04-thumb.jpg)
The wagon looks alittle to rare for me.
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yeah, so now I'm makin Chili this weekend.
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CHIIIILLLIIIIIII !!!!!!! i am craving chili... i dont know why :rolleyes:
and that guy in the cook off story got owned :lol
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We have a bowl of chili in the fridge that only needs some reheating and hot sauce. Hopefully I don't have to work tomorrow so I can gobble it all up.
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Originally posted by DiabloTX
What I grew up on:
(http://www.luzianne.com/images/category/carroll_shelby_r3_c3.gif)
My mom must have had at least 3 bags of that at all times.
With her homemade cornbread it was unbeatable.
Dammit, I'm hungry again....
LOL me to, makes pretty decent chili!