Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Udie on November 19, 2001, 11:13:00 AM
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I'm lost guys. My best friend at work died this Saturday. I've dreaded coming to work all weekend and now I'm here. I look over at his empy cube and it freakin hurts bad. We were supposed to bowl on Sunday. All his projects must be taken over with him not here to answer questions.
Depression has set in 100% and I don't know what to do. Too much has happened in the last 2 months I don't know if I can handle much more.
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Wish I could say something insightful or inspiring.
Unfortuntely the only way to cope is to mourn for a long time, but try to see it in a positive aspect.
-SW
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If you had plans this weekend, and he's already gone, then I take it his time of suffering was short.
Which is all any of us can ask for, we all know where we're going.
Remember him, and give thanks that you had a friend, as did he.
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Udie, the body of your friend is all that is gone but he lives on does he not? Remember him. Hell, even talk to him, he's your friend and I bet he is listening :)
As with the passing of my dad this past September, once the initial pain subsided, my dad's happiness is what I think about. He is in pain no more.
<S> My friend.
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Focus on being more thankfull he was your friend... and less on his loss. And nobody said that is an easy thing to do.
AKDejaVu
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'coping' is what the media does.
Living is what we do.
Your pal would NOT wish his passing to be a burden, would he?
So; honor his memory by doing what needs to be done; by priorities; in a professional manner. Don't cheat yourself or him of the lives you had and have.
Go for it.
And, god bless u Udie. <S!>
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Sorry to hear that Udie. :(
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sorry to hear about your loss Udie
as someone said, "Time heals all wounds" .. crappy but true.
if you drink, dont - alcohol only makes it worse - take it from someone who knows. lost my mother and little (only) brother within a 6 month period. '89 was my toejamty year.
Pray for and talk to your buddy, he's listening. They live in our memories.
take care
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Sorry to hear that Udie. I lost my mom a month ago TODAY and there hasn't been a day that it hasn't hurt.
My best advice is to keep busy. I have two kids that keep me REAL busy.
At this point you are likely confused with the emotional aspect and the only thing that will help is time to sort those emotions out over time.
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Hey guys, thanks for all the support. I don't even know why I posted here. I guess it's because you guys are friends too even if only virtual.
The hard part is being here at work and looking over my shoulder at his empty cube. Last Friday he and I had a really good meeting on our offices CAD standards and today was the day he was going to bring it up in the staff meeting.
Death has been in my life before, but never this close. Anytime I've lost a family member the loss has been tempered by 500 miles distance. I didn't see them everyday so it was easier to get over I guess. I'm left with a HUGE empty feeling here at work. He'd be squeaking at me to get off the net right now :) So I think I will...
Also, he loved all the AH pics I'd bring to work. We were going to get around to setting him up to fly, but life was always too busy. Such is life I guess.......
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"life is like a rodeo: the trick is to ride, and make it to the bell." - fogerty
theres no point to life, no reward for the good or punishment for the wicked and it's gonna be rough, but what else are you going to do with your time here- might as well just keep on trucking. :)
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that sucks
some might take what i'm about to recomend as insensitive, but when one of my best friends died, a bunch of friends go together and just got plain drunk till blind, lots of songs he loved on the stereo, and lots of laughs and crying and memories, even a few fist fights.
might seem harsh, but it really helped us move on, we said goodbye in our own way, and i'm pretty sure that if his spirit was there, he was having a blast too.
so go ahead if its your kind of thing.
condolesences :(
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Fist fights?! LOL!
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Sorry Udie.
God say's "it is appointed unto every man to die".
Still it is hard to lose a friend. I hope out of this you can come to trust God with your life...this world offers pain and suffering..it has always been that way.
Take Care.
Otto
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I lost a close friend a few months ago. I still think about her almost every day, but its not so painful now. Time does "heal all wounds".
Losing a friend in the prime of her life has made me more aware of just how short my own life really is. I think of that awareness as a priceless gift from her.
popeye
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Udie,
Fatty, Me, Exile, Gordo, Trimmer are all here in austin.
Get in touch if you need company man!
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Originally posted by mason22:
Udie,
Fatty, Me, Exile, Gordo, Trimmer are all here in austin.
Get in touch if you need company man!
I might take you up on that one night this week. After the funeral Wednesday I'm off for the rest of the week. I'll keep in tough.
To the rest of you guys :) I'm finding that being here at work actually hurts >< that much less than being at home alone. Things will get better emotionaly I know, but for now I must sulk...
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Udie,
Sorry to hear that you're hurting but that just means you are open enough to care about another person. You can make it through, it will take some time. Try to stay busy for a few days then take some time to reflect on what your buddy meant to you. Remember the good times and the bad as well. Firm it up in your memory to keep with you so you can "consult" him when you need to. He isn't all gone as long as you remember him and can learn from the experiance.
A final note about this. Use this experiance and time to realize what it is you have in that gift of life. It is always short, no matter what the years may have. Use the time as best you can. It isn't what they have done that most regret at the end, it's what they SHOULD and COULD have done that many regret. Don't let the one irreplaceable and non salvageable resource you have, time, go to waste. Use it, spend it but most of all LIVE IT as a life, not a spectator sport.
Thoughts and prayers,
Mav
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sorry about your loss.
what animal said worked for me.
a couple years ago my best freind, who i also worked with took his own life. when i was told my knees buckled and i couldn't stand. after the funeral some other freinds, his family and I got together for the wake, many of us got blind stinking drunk, played loud music and talked about all the great times we had with him. by the time the hangover was through i felt alot better. it's been a couple years and i still get sad/mad with little warnning when something reminds me of him. but you just got to apreciate the good times and move on.
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Talk to your loved ones about the good things about your friend. Memories are a good place to start. I've been in your position many times unfortunately.
My condolences man, keep his memory alive and smile.
<S>
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I do not think there is a single answer that will work for every person. I lost one of my foster sons almost a year ago, (traffic accident) and I couldn't even cry, I was just numb for a couple months. 40 years ago my best buddy died in my arms, I didn't know how to react then either, just locked and loaded and looked for some pay back.
Hang in there, the hurt will fade.
But as long as you remember, they are with you, focus on the good times.
Condolences.
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Life's a circle, Udie.
Sunrise to sundown... followed by Sunrise.
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter.. followed by Spring.
You'll "see" him again.
Remember the good times and laugh a lot.