Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: rabbidrabbit on December 01, 2006, 02:20:23 PM
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January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw
puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a
lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm .....
car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capitol of California is
"C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's..they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's
no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse
open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman
approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that
I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY G__, I left the baby
on the bus again!"
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his
attractive blond female neighbor came out of the
house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened
it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went
to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it
shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here
she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened
it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is
something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
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Originally posted by rabbidrabbit
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his
attractive blond female neighbor came out of the
house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened
it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went
to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it
shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here
she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened
it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is
something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
The official review:
A stale, dated offering from yet another uninspired joke writer whose clearly more interested in collecting AA chips than he is in collecting laughs. And while the overall subject matter has apparently yet to run its course, this joke proves, yet again, that what was topical and amusing a decade ago is good for little more than a groan today.
C
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I believe in recycling.
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ha ha ha do not give up your day job. If you do not have a day job, go get one in a profession other than comedy.
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Originally posted by dmf
ha ha ha do not give up your day job. If you do not have a day job, go get one in a profession other than comedy.
Pissed? Don't worry your mail will arrive soon!..>
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Personaly I thought the jokes were funny.
Maybe it's because I'm old and getting senile...
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
Personaly I thought the jokes were funny.
Maybe it's because I'm old and getting senile...
An honest, pleasantly self-depricating comment whose tone, albeit far from uncommon, never seems to get old. The work of a dated man, perhaps, but one that has still not lost his touch with humanity's love for its own shortcomings.
B+/A-
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Originally posted by rabbidrabbit
Pissed? Don't worry your mail will arrive soon!..>
Not pissed just tired of blonde jokes
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Originally posted by Neubob
An honest, pleasantly self-depricating comment whose tone, albeit far from uncommon, never seems to get old. The work of a dated man, perhaps, but one that has still not lost his touch with humanity's love for its own shortcomings.
B+/A-
Hehe. Ok, I dated myself :)
By the way...I had always thought your avatar was a large red "C". I just realized it is a fishing bobber.
My eyes must be going too...
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The title was blonde jokes, not bland jerks.
J/K...I liked how that flowed :P
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The old sloppy blond went packing. Her husbond asks: "where are you going?" She replies: "To Vegas. A prostitute in Vegas gets $300 for what I do for you for free"
He starts packing as well. She asks "Where are you going?". He replies: "Im coming too". "What for" she sais. He replies: "I've got to see how you can live of $900 per year"
:D
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what do you call a brunette walking between two blondes?
an interpreter
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Originally posted by storch
what do you call a brunette walking between two blondes?
A brunette with live stereo headphones ;)
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A couple was in financial dire and the husband joked she'd take up prostitution to get by as they needed about $100 a day extra.
The blonde refused. Time went by and things only got worse. One day the blonde decided to take action anyway and went forward with it. After the day was over she was exhausted but happy and was sure the husband would be pleased when she put the money on the table the next morning.
The morning comes and she proudly puts $99 on the table. She explains the whole thing to the husband.
The husband is a little outraged and surprised but then counts the money which will help to bring food on the table. 'Who was the idiot who paid you $1 too little?'
The blonde: Huh? They all paid in full.