Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Wolfala on December 15, 2006, 08:59:57 AM
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A funny thing happened to me while trying to go through security yesterday. To recap, i'm heading out to Alburquerque NM to do an annual on a SR-20 and then drag it back to California. So my suitcase is filled 1/2 way with clothes, and the other 50 % is airplane parts. Barney at security sends it through the x-ray and has the WTF expression on his face. Keep in mind this is checked baggage, not carryon so like the inspection ruler, mirror and anything sharp is in that. It took a good 20 minutes of explaining why I was carrying on oil filter, dry sump pump, handheld radio, and induction filter and all the other misc items in checked baggage.
With that excitement out of the way, I get pulled out of the regular security line for 20 minutes while they run bomb residue tests on an insulin pump! Guy can't catch a break - even with a military ID.
****in A.
Wolf
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I had many stories of barneys at airport security. Similar to you, I had Barney pining me for carrying a headset in my carry on. Then he inquired about my flight maps/approach plates. Had to wait 10 min for his supervisor to come and tell him : "He's an airline pilot, he's supposed to carry this stuff"... Yeah ... WTF you think I'm in a pilot uniform for?
:confused:
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You expected different? from a TSA employee working a job that probably its minimal educational requirement is a GED, and to be able to get to work on time.
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Wolfala, I regularly carry aircraft parts on airlines. Along with large tool boxes and such (checked on these). Your absolute best bet, is to treat the TSA personnel like two year olds that are kings of a country. Just be up front and open about what you have in a bag. They will be look, not understand it, look it up in their regs, and generally let you along your merry way. I have only had one problem and that was with a screener in DFW, so, I just said I was going to check it, and went through another line 20 gates down....
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the worst is when you are in Lubbock Tx, trying to fly home, and they won't let you past security because your Drivers License is 3 days expired. Made me miss the flight, but after 45 minutes they eventually let me pass, only after looking through all items.
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And guys, this **** is getting worse every day and spreads everywhere...
Our airport manager at EFOU seems to be a security fanatic and now we have more security personnel running over here than other combined. Airline pilots tend to get picked up and checked more often than standard passengers, own staff has to be checked every time and go thru metal detectors and xrays... even that we have coded ID passes which tell where we have rights to enter.
SHEEESH...
When its 10th time you pass the security port inside same day you start thinking that the terrorists have won... because all this Fu*****ed up S**t cannont stop a single determined terrorist but causes enormous costs and problems for normal passengers-->on shorter trips other means of travel start to see much more comfortable...business shooting on its own leg.
Couple of months ago they issued orders about liquids on the trip.. ludicruos!
100ml of liquids in closed zip bags...
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Originally posted by SFRT - Frenchy
I had many stories of barneys at airport security. Similar to you, I had Barney pining me for carrying a headset in my carry on. Then he inquired about my flight maps/approach plates. Had to wait 10 min for his supervisor to come and tell him : "He's an airline pilot, he's supposed to carry this stuff"... Yeah ... WTF you think I'm in a pilot uniform for?
:confused:
To pick up airport bar chicks..sheesh, I thought these guys got training!
:D
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One time I was flying back to LA w/ my flight bag as carryon. The TSA guy was alarmed at my headset, charts, etc, and began grilling me. He called his supervisor over.
Supervisor came over, checked out what I had. "Pilot?" he asked. I mentioned I was a student. "Good headset, I like the Dave Clarks too. When you've got some more hours, give me a call (he hands me a card, it identifies him as part of the Civil Air Patrol) if you'd like to know more about what we do. Have a good flight, and good luck with your training."
The original TSA guy was confused, didn't quite understand what had happened as I walked away. Judging by the look his supervisor gave him, the boss guy wasn't terribly impressed with this guard's spidey senses.
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Troy Smith had to check his Heisman Trophy when the TSA wouldn't let him carry it on.
I'm sooooo much safer today because I was protected from having my eye poked out by the finger on the Heisman Trophy.
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Just as a counter-balance to these stories, I went through 6 screenings in the past 1 1/2 weeks and only was stopped once to make me turn my laptop on.
Of course on my 2nd to last trip, in the St. Thomas airport all the TSA guys too busy with the 2 elderly people in front of me going through their bags to see if there was any explosives in the hand cream the poor woman had forgotten to put in a plastic bag.
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Here's my week:
Monday morning: Fly from John Wayne to Oakland - get selected for additional screening because my name is 'Graeme' and obviously that weird foreign spelling makes me a terrorist. Remove all items from bag plus the usual belt, shoes watch etc etc. Wipe everything down for traces of explosives. Get questioned over how someone with a British accent came to have a California drivers' license by someone with a Vietnamese accent so strong I can barely understand them then told to hurry up whilst repacking delicate electrical equipment.
Monday 10am: Arrive at Federal Building in San Francisco - get selected for additional screening because my name is 'Graeme' and obviously that weird foreign spelling makes me a terrorist. Remove all items from bag plus the usual belt, shoes watch etc etc. Wipe everything down for traces of explosives.
Monday 1pm: Take client for lunch then return to Federal building to continue meeting - get selected for additional screening because my name is 'Graeme' and obviously that weird foreign spelling makes me a terrorist. Remove all items from bag plus the usual belt, shoes watch etc etc. Wipe everything down for traces of explosives.
Monday 5pm: Fly home from Oakland to John Wayne. Join queue for security that runs the entire length of terminal building, out the door and along most of the exterior. 80 minutes later, get selected for additional screening because my name is 'Graeme' and obviously that weird foreign spelling makes me a terrorist. Remove all items from bag plus the usual belt, shoes watch etc etc. Wipe everything down for traces of explosives.
Repeat on Wednesday and Friday.
The terrorists are winning - I'm not scared to leave the house. I'm just totally fed up with the hassle.
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Well, if you did not have that oddly spelled last name of 'Graeme' you probably could avoid being selected for additional screening as it is obvious that weird foreign spelling makes you a terrorist. :)
Change it to 'Smith'. Not 'Smythe' (see the first sentence in this post as to why). Just 'Smith'. :D
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Time to get that private pilot certificate. Perhaps the TSA is actually just one big plot by the AOPA to revitalize general aviation.
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BTW, the reason you can't get accurate cellphone coverage maps?
To stop the terrorists.
http://redtape.msnbc.com/2006/12/why_cell_phone_.html
And yet, there are still people on this board that think everything is ok. Astonishing.
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It was quite amusing watching those dudes pull apart A and C bags of 50 airmen from my squad. And then they started checking for bomb residue. :rolleyes: That was after we spend a week in the field where we blow up 4 large craters in a runway with over 300 pounds of explosives. Surprisingly none of us got arrested…. :rofl
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Last time I went through a non-crew line I had to go through one of the little puffer machines. This was the day after I shot maybe 300 rounds of various caliber in competition trap, skeet and target shots.
They didn't stop me...I can only imagine how much gunshot residue was all over my jacket.
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I know, I know, that's gunSHOT residue. They don't care about that, they're looking for gunSHOOT residue. That's the stuff ain't been used yet. :D
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
Well, if you did not have that oddly spelled last name of 'Graeme'
Graeme is my first name - sounds a lot like 'Graham', pronounced after half a bottle of good single-malt whisky :D
The fun to be had at airports is endless. One recent conversation went along the lines of:
Check-in attendant: "That's a great accent sir - where are you from?"
Me: "Why thank-you - I'm from Scotland."
Check-in attendant: "Wow that's cool. OK sir, I just need to see your passport".
Me: "Sure - there you go".
Check-in attendant: "Sir - this is a British passport - you said you were from Scotland...".
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Originally posted by wooley
Check-in attendant: "That's a great accent sir - where are you from?"
Me: "Why thank-you - I'm from Scotland."
Check-in attendant: "Wow that's cool. OK sir, I just need to see your passport".
Me: "Sure - there you go".
Check-in attendant: "Sir - this is a British passport - you said you were from Scotland...".
:rofl , hey give her a point, at least she could tell it was a british passport :lol
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i found out my car can travel long distances on some thing they call the "interstate", so i don't fly anymore.
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personally, getting searched, red-flagged for 20 mins doesn't bother me. I'd rather have that done to me than getting on the plane and end up blown up or plowed into an structure / ground.
I say that's more than a fair trade. :)
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Originally posted by wooley
Graeme is my first name...
Oops, I assumed incorrectly. Wait a minute, why am I concerned with what a terrorist thinks? Sheesh!
:lol
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Originally posted by Waffle BAS
personally, getting searched, red-flagged for 20 mins doesn't bother me. I'd rather have that done to me than getting on the plane and end up blown up or plowed into an structure / ground.
I say that's more than a fair trade. :)
You're faaaaaaaaaaaaaar more likely to be killed by a drunk driver. You're ok, I suppose, with drunk driving checkpoints every 5 miles on the Freeway? Also, heart disease is one of the biggest killers, I'm sure you wouldn't mind having a mandatory cholesterol/blood pressure test as part of checking out at the supermarket, right?
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Drunk drivers aren't out looking to kill / harm me because of the country I live in / and or my beliefs. ... not sure about the red meat though......:)
And getting searched by an airline is their business, it's their company and passengers they're trying to protect, as well their own industry.
Kinda like this bulletin board...if there was a way to pre-screen people before they post, then you'd eliminate the tard spammers, ect...
but they dont have that in place, so they use "air marshalls" mp1-8...:)
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Originally posted by Waffle BAS
Drunk drivers aren't out looking to kill / harm me because of the country I live in / and or my beliefs.
And I'm sure that's a great comfort to the victims' families.
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Originally posted by wooley
And I'm sure that's a great comfort to the victims' families.
i'm sure the victims families of people killed by sober drivers are taking great comfort that their loved ones were killed by sober drivers.
sober drivers kill more people than drinking drivers.
to quote Archy Bunker " would it make yous feel better little girl if they fell outa winder?"
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Waffle - so you think all this screening is making your journey safe ??
Next time you are boarding an airplane and they are still loading the galleys just check out the catering crew, or for that matter the baggage handlers, or maybe the freight loaders, or cleaners, or **** truck drivers .....etc etc. You think those guys / girls go through the level of security passengers do EVERY time the go through the gate ??
Flying today is a pain in the ass......
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would you prefer no screening at all? for anyone?
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I'm in Sacramento. Family is in Salt Lake. 10 Hour Drive, 2 Hour Flight.
I drive. Dad continually asks why I just don't fly out here and save that long boring drive.
Door to Door It's FASTER to drive and far less irratating!
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Originally posted by Airscrew
:rofl , hey give her a point, at least she could tell it was a british passport :lol
heck, she is american, i am surprised she even knew what a passport is!
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I recently flew my 182 to the Bahamas and back.
My experience.
File flight plan and call US customs to arrange a meeting at airport of entry.
Walk to plane. No security check. They let me on the apron by buzzing me through a door when they see my flight bag.
Fly to US. Land in Detroit. Taxi to building with customs sign on it. Walk in and am met by a friendly and bored customs agent. He gives me all the forms to fill in and then stamps me cleared. No check of my bags or the plane.
Fly to Ft Lauderdale Exec. Park over night by Banyon FBO. Next morning show up at Banyon and after checking weather and filing flight plan get driven to my plane in a golf cart. No security check.
Take off and fly to Stella Maris airport. Bahamiam customs officer is not there. Park plane and go to hotel. Come back next day to clear customs. He gives me a form that allows me to land at other airports without having to visit customs.
Fly to George Town airport next day. Land and get driven in a golf cart to the terminal. When I leave a few days later bypass the security checks and get driven to my plane in a golf cart. Fly to Ft Lauderdale Exec. Get greated by two friendly customs agents who just want to see my passport. No search of plane or baggage.
Fly home.
If only my plane was faster I would take every trip this way.
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ya my uncle was a captain of a Comair flight. they made him throw away his pocket knife. keep in mind hes the captain of the airplane this security is ridiculous.
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I guess everyone who travels has horror stories now. The more your travel the harder it gets to hold your tongue when badgered by a contracted airport "security" person who was a busboy at Dennys last month before he was fired for incompetence.
Immigration people don't seem to be getting any brighter either. I would expect them to have been at least a waiter in their previous life, not a busboy.
The last time I came back into the US, I had one scrutinize my passport. Inspector Cleusou decided some important interrogation was in order.
Inspector Cleusou: "You travel a lot. Thailand (raises a suspicious eyebrow), China (raises both eyebrows), Taiwan, Guam, Korea..."
"Yes." What else can I say?
Inspector Cleusou: "You have a permanent resident visa for Japan?"
Thinking, thinking... was that a question or a comment? His intonation raised, so it might be question. How could it be a question if he's looking at it? He seems to be waiting for an answer. After 20 hours of being awake, I'm a little giddy and almost blurt out, "I do? How did that get in there?" I decide against it and say, "Yes, I do."
Inspector Cleusou: "Why?"
Why? I want to be collecting my bags. Be nice. "I ask myself that a lot too," I say with a laugh, hoping he has a sense of humor.
Inspector Cleusou: "Hmmm... What do you do?"
He's humorless. I wanted to say that I'm a geisha farmer, but decide against it. "I work there," I say in a half answer to test if he is really listening.
Inspector Cleusou: "There is no expiration date on your permanent resident visa."
He's not listening. He's just screwing with me. I retest: "I'll check that next time I get it renewed."
Inspector Cleusou: "When does it expire?"
"When does it expire? It doesn't. That's why they call it 'perm - a - nent.' Is there a problem? What other questions can I answer for you today?" I ask with a forced smile.
Inspector Cleusou: "You can go now." He's had enough of me.
"I can go? You're dismissing me?"
Inspector Cleusou: "Yes, you can go."
"Didn't you forget something?'
Inspector Cleusou: Blank, slack-jawed stare.
I've got sweaters older (and perhaps a little brighter) than this pimply-faced kid, but he has a gun. "You're supposed to say, 'Thank you, sir and welcome home.' It's proper protocol. Which way is your office?"
Inspector Cleusou: "Thank you, sir and welcome home," he says through clenched teeth.
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(Added) This is my ranking of immigration and customs ports of entry:
1. Houston (Best)
2. Atlanta (Runner up)
Every one of these are pot luck, ranging from dismal to sadistic.
Detroit
Minneapolis
Chicago
New York
Los Angeles
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I haven't flown in a couple years, primarily due to being fed up with the hassle. Driving's easier, just hop in the car and go. Even an eight hour drive get's finished in about the same time as it would have taken to fly, and I skip all that getting treated like a criminal crap.
Anyway, I'd love to see what commotion this (http://thebeerbelly.com/) would make going thru security. They'd be like "Booooomb!!" and I'd be like "Nope, just beer!" :D Then I'd get tackled and/or tazed and all humor would be sucked from the situation...
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"There is no expiration date on your permanent resident visa."
priceless.
:lol
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The are endless stories abour airport security. There are several stories of items being confiscated from pilots. Then put in an envelope and handed to the crew for the attention of the Captain. Bearing in mind that many US airline pilots are authorised to carry guns and all of them have access to the crash axe on the flight deck.:huh Not to mention the fact that pilots don't really need to hijack planes for obvious reasons.:rofl
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Waffle - no I wouldn't but the situation we have now is ridiculous and adding nothing to the safety of travel.
You want an easy target ?? Drive on any car ferry between UK and Europe. Several hundred people and you can drive on in your car packed with HE and never be searched.
Travel has risks - driving, flying, trains, boats - all of them. They are trying to make aircraft risk free and it is an impossible task.
Nice one Rolex :aok . I completely sympathise - been there .....
Note - I am an overweight mid-forties pasty white English guy.
"You have a visa for Pakistan"
[considered answer - "**** you noticed"]
"Yes"
"Why?"
[considered answer -"It seemed like a fun thing to do"]
"I had to go there supporting a sales demonstration"
"Who for??"
[considered answer -"AK - new rifles"]
"Boeing Aircraft ....... USA"
"Oh ........ have a nice day"
I agree with the ratings too:-
Best
San Fransisco
Dallas
Worst
Seattle
New York
Los Angeles
LAX INS folk are simply the most ignorant people you could meet.
As far as crew stories - my brother is a captain with BA - he once had the metal teaspoon he carries in his flight bag to eat his yoghurt with confiscated - apparently it could have someones eye out ......
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Well this "Barney" (yes I am a TSA screener) can write a book on nut case passengers who are trying to get on planes each day. Today I started my day at 4:00am by 8:00am I had turned away 2 passengers who didn't think I had the right to screen them... pointing them to the bus station down town. Took away two hand guns in carry-on baggage (one did belong to a off duty pilot) and had one nut with a can of gas in his carry-on bag.
Have nice flight...
Cavalry
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rule one for TSA screener.
don't tell anyone your a TSA screener.