Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Wolfala on December 27, 2006, 11:37:26 AM
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I copied and pasted this from another forum but maintained its format. It is as follows:
Originating posts can be found here: http://www.honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=1845064&page=1
and
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2243176
I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20601_1.jpg)
****in Bees!
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20630_1.jpg)
A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%201074_1.jpg)
This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had ****ing BEEES living inside it.
The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.
Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.
So we did the next best thing. Started ****ing with the bees.
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20778_1.jpg)
My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.
That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20791_1.jpg)
Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20795_1.jpg)
INCOMING!
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20796_1.jpg)
CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20797_1.jpg)
RUN FORREST!
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20830_1.jpg)
Pile O Bees
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(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20833_1.jpg)
The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.
At this point it was clear these little *******s weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20868_1.jpg)
Bee incinerator contraption:
- 30 feet of rope
- 1 large fire pit
- 1 science project board
- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet
- gas
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20874_1.jpg)
Oh Dear Lord! BEEEES! « » 5:17 PM 12/23/2006 Reply Edit
If the pics don't show up, please go to my post on Something Awful to see the pics thanks!
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I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.
****in Bees!
A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.
This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had ****ing BEEES living inside it.
The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.
Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.
So we did the next best thing. Started ****ing with the bees.
My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.
That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....
Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.
INCOMING!
CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?
RUN FORREST!
Pile O Bees
The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.
At this point it was clear these little *******s weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:
Bee incinerator contraption:
- 30 feet of rope
- 1 large fire pit
- 1 science project board
- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet
- gas
Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and....
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20889_1.jpg)
IGNITION!
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20900_1.jpg)
OH THE BEEMANITY
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20957_1.jpg)
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20977_1.jpg)
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(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20977_1.jpg)
Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next?
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20961_1.jpg)
The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20962_1.jpg)
OH YES!!!
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20966_1.jpg)
12/23 NEVER FORGET
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20980_1.jpg)
THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20981_1.jpg)
OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%20984_1.jpg)
Tonight we are having Roast Bee
(http://rayriders.com/misc/Picture%201080_1.jpg)
The Aftermath.
Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0
Number of bees killed: est. 10,000
Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
(http://img.waffleimages.com/c4f64ae8108de966b1dd0a87e5eaa0e3a25403ba/Picture%20680_1.jpg)
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If those had been africanised bees I imagine they would have gone after the dweeb in the black shirt. I wonder what they did with the hive that was still inside the house. The ones on the swing were a second hive splitting off and swarming.
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Glad that worked or he probably would have nuked it next. ;)
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Kilgore: Smell that? You smell that?
Lance: What?
Kilgore: Napalm, son. Nothing in the world smells like that.
Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end...
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looks like the swing bought it in collateral damage.
i bet you only declared war on the bee's for their honey :mad:
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Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0
Number of bees killed: est. 10,000
Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so
He forgot in the casualties: 1 swingset (charred beyond recognition)
Ball beat me to it :furious :furious
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Great post, write up and pictures!
Thanks for posting: very amusing.
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I had a stupid encounter with bees once. After getting stung I tried to burn a bee’s nest, but didn’t have much fuel on hand. So I tossed a spray paint can on the fire expecting it to blow and make a big enough fireball to incinerate them all. The fire was dying, however, and the can wouldn’t get hot enough to explode. So, I pulled out my 22 and a hollow-point CCI Stinger round. From 50 feet I hit the can square and it burst into a nice fireball. Something stung me in the ankle, however. I looked down and my shoe, sock and leg were on fire and I had a nice gash high in my ankle. I patted out the fire on the leg and surveyed the damage; my leg, sock and shoe were splattered with paint and I had a cut worthy of stitches. Just behind me was half of the spray paint can. I wasn’t that surprised that half of an exploded can could fly that far and cut me. I was baffled, however, that it traveled so fast and so far on fire and that enough paint rode along to spatter me. The doctors and nurses were in stitches when I explained how I cut my ankle and set my leg and foot on fire with burning spray paint. They called in other staff members and had me retell the story.
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LOL now what they shoulda done......................is get your self one of them lawn and garden sprayers like the 2 gal. size..........fill it with a gas/kerosene mixture ............... head to Bee central.............find on fool to operate makeshift flame thrower.....and another fool to be the ignition man and burn em that way..........(guy i used to work with for a affluent community in Michigan, Parks and Rec. would actually do this):aok
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Can't we all just...get along?
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Eskimo is living (apparently only by dumb luck so far) Proof that some of us were put here on earth to be examples of what NOT to do
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Just in the last 2 months worth of BBs stories eskimo should've been dead a half a dozen times in his life.
I'm not that lucky :(
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Too bad, around here I know some guys that would have paid them to come take them away.
A swarm of bees is worth quite a bit to a bee-keeper.
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no swing sets for honey.
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Many years ago my grandmother had a hive of yellowjackets under the eave of her roof. She sent me up to burn them out. It was pretty high, the peak of an old house so I climbed up an extension ladder not really thinking this thing through. I lit some newspaper and when I held it under their nest about a million of them fell/flew out. I don't remember jumping off the ladder but I must have and hit the ground running.
Didn't get stung. :cool:
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Then there was the time I was mowing my yard and a bumblebee started buzzing me. Bumblebees do not like to be swatted at. :(
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That was epic, and amazing. I'm tempted to use the final inferno pick as my wallpaper.
Edit - the temptation got me. Might get some weird looks, but hey.
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Pictures say "Running out of bandwith"........ :huh
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Originally posted by Meatwad
Pictures say "Running out of bandwith"........ :huh
My guess would be that's because the site is running out of bandwidth. Only a guess, though. ;)
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1. When we were younger (I was about 10) my brother and I were throwing pebbles at a Hornet's nest at our grandparents house. Probably around pebble #50, my brother found pay dirt in the entrance. About 30-40 hornets charged the two of us within 3 seconds. I was already 1/2 way to the front door. My brother lost his sense of direction and was seen galloping in between stings on the front lawn.
2. We had just moved into our home and I was mowing the lawn. They had replaced a telephone pole and the ground was uneven. On about the 3rd pass, I went over a crack and at least 100 yellowjackets enveloped the mower and me. I didn't even get stung, but I went to Home Depot and bought 4 cans of Raid Fogger. I strolled up to the mower and about 20 of em were still circling it. I had 2 cans spraying, and I saturated the crack (about 6 ft long). I grabbed the other two and emptied the contents into this crack as well. I then grabbed the hose and flooded the crack until water started puddling up. Never had the problem again.
Eskimo's childhood is very to my brothers and mine. Crazy, off the wall things that looking back on, you'd have to 2nd guess your sanity.