Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Maverick on December 27, 2006, 05:14:26 PM
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RETIREMENT:
As we all know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate. The big question is where to? Here are some tips.
You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in
the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face
when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING
ME??!!
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature,"
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2 Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty
Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops
at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"
OR You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds.
:D
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You've obviously lived in all those places. :lol
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You mean most folks only get condensation on their butts from the hot water in the toilet bowl? I get it all the time, even in winter.
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And what's wrong with artichokes????
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Originally posted by midnight Target
And what's wrong with artichokes????
Hippy.
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or you can retire to rincon on the west coast of puerto rico.
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Ha, they hit Maine perfectly.
No one comes up here for the women, that's for sure. The gals here think "layers of fat" is the way to go. (Not my words, words of a female friend from Texas whose up here for schooling!)
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You can live in the Midwest where...
That sounds like Michigan , lol . :aok
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Originally posted by Maverick
RETIREMENT:
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"
:D
1. Not only does the mayor know my name, the Premier of the province does too.
2. Tractors arent that bad, it is those combines with 30 foot headers that are tough.
3. Every day, or my favourite...heat on with the windows down.
4. Said it. Many times
5. "and it was too hot"
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I have taken the pleasure of adding one:
You can live in the Northwest where...
1. You know more than 10 words to describe a cup of coffee
2. Your daily commute to the city involves an average speed of 10 mph due to traffic.
3. You have 4 seasons:Summer, Rain, Rain, and Rain.
4.You consider it a sunny day if the sun is visible at some point of the day.
5. You consider floating bridges a pain in the butt, not an engineering marvel.
6. You know at least three Microsoft burnouts, of which two are millionaires or you know at least eight people who work for either Microsoft or Boeing.
7.You feel guilty throwing an aluminum can in the trash.
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Originally posted by LePaul
Ha, they hit Maine perfectly.
I dunno... he forgot mud season. :D
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Originally posted by eskimo2
You mean most folks only get condensation on their butts from the hot water in the toilet bowl? I get it all the time, even in winter.
That's not condensation.
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Originally posted by bsdaddict
I dunno... he forgot mud season. :D
I dunno about that, construction should end up involving a lot of mud......
:D