Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Heater on February 28, 2007, 02:32:07 AM
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Swearing At Work Policy
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however; realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
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secretaries should stay out of the shop then.
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If I had to go a day without cursing, my head would explode
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This was actually posted at my current client's place (they repair trains) a couple weeks back.
I've never been in a place with so much swearing - even the plumbers I once did a job for would blush.
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Excuse me sir? I don't think you understand.
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Originally posted by bj229r
If I had to go a day without cursing, my head would explode
Agree
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cursing is usually an excuse for and/or a result of a poor vocabulary
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Originally posted by Eagler
cursing is usually an excuse for and/or a result of a poor vocabulary
Care to make a wager?
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i wonder if cursing euphemisms are allowed, such as "gosh darn","dagnabit"," holy cow", or what about old english, "curse thee, spawn of the devil"
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My employees are required to do all swearing in Spanish... or they are outta here!
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f `em and curse on
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Originally posted by Eagler
cursing is usually an excuse for and/or a result of a poor vocabulary
you are somewhat insensitive.
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edit
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BAHAHAH Very funny!
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Originally posted by Eagler
cursing is usually an excuse for and/or a result of a poor vocabulary
+1
Quite true as there are far more ways to express ones self without the ubiquitous "F" word and several other old tired choices. Start a job around children and see how fast you have to catch yourself reverting to the poor language choices. Until you really take the time to monitor your own speech choices you really don't notice your speaking "style" and how repetitive it is.
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Originally posted by bj229r
If I had to go a day without cursing, my head would explode
I worked at a christian camp where we weren't allowed to curse.
It's hard for the first couple of days, but after that it becomes easy.
The problem then is starting up cursing again.
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Originally posted by Eagler
cursing is usually an excuse for and/or a result of a poor vocabulary
Perhaps you should check with...........
:noid
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For years, I've used made up stuff to curse, but not because the words are 'dirty'. I decided that I wanted to save the real stuff for when things were REALLY bad, because if I swore casually, then nobody would notice when I really meant it. But now, each curse is like a verbal shaped charge.
Imagine Mr. Rogers swearing, and you get the idea. You'd sit up and take notice. Well, if he was still alive. If he swore now, I'd probably run away, gibbering like an idiot, because talking corpses are scary.
Lately, I've used 'frack' a lot, care of Battlestar Galactica. It's very flexible.
Other times, I make up elaborate curses that'd look extremely ghey in type, but work surprisingly well when spoken. Ok, and the unique swearing from Spongebob Squarepants is good to use around my kids.
One side benefit, I'm less likely to make an involuntary exclamation that could get me in hot water with Human Resources. It's not my primary motivation, but it's a useful side effect.
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Originally posted by Maverick
+1
Quite true as there are far more ways to express ones self without the ubiquitous "F" word and several other old tired choices. Start a job around children and see how fast you have to catch yourself reverting to the poor language choices. Until you really take the time to monitor your own speech choices you really don't notice your speaking "style" and how repetitive it is.
f__king A Mav!
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I go to a public high school and fix cars, curse words don't really have any meaning anymore.
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Originally posted by Eagler
cursing is usually an excuse for and/or a result of a poor vocabulary
The wway I heard it was, "Profanity is the crutch of ignorant muther - F'rs"
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Originally posted by Holden McGroin
The wway I heard it was, "Profanity is the crutch of ignorant muther - F'rs"
Incorrect. It's "Profanity is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate mother****er."
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I hope this is not based on any reflection of me starting work at HTC :)