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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Airscrew on March 02, 2007, 09:02:30 AM

Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Airscrew on March 02, 2007, 09:02:30 AM
OMG Call GW, notify the UN and NATO,  The Swiss are trying to take over the world and they're starting with Liechtenstein

ZURICH, Switzerland - What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

 
According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion.

"We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem," Daniel Reist told The Associated Press.

Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.

Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070302/ap_on_fe_st/mistaken_invasion;_ylt=ArUWth9FEPAitxiGCma5VdQuQE4F
Title: Re: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: REP0MAN on March 02, 2007, 09:50:54 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Airscrew
Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070302/ap_on_fe_st/mistaken_invasion;_ylt=ArUWth9FEPAitxiGCma5VdQuQE4F


Now THAT would have been a funny war.....
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Gunslinger on March 02, 2007, 10:10:46 AM
The swiss have an army?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Curval on March 02, 2007, 10:16:19 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Gunslinger
The swiss have an army?


Yup, armed with fold out knives.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Curval on March 02, 2007, 10:17:54 AM
Truth be told, the Swiss have historically been a very tough bunch to beat on a battlefield.  Just ask the Vatican.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Max on March 02, 2007, 10:20:57 AM
Jeepers...I forgot all about Liechtenstein :cry
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: tedrbr on March 02, 2007, 10:59:52 AM
Quote
Gunslinger     "The swiss have an army?"



Quote
All able-bodied male Swiss citizens are conscripted to the armed forces. For women the service is voluntary. Since 1996, Swiss citizens can apply for civilian service instead. Entry to the civilian service is based on moral grounds and subject to a successful application.

A significant number of young men choose to avoid military service by visiting a doctor who attests to their incapacity to do military service on medical grounds, or try to fake it during recruitment through psychological and physical tests that are taken during recruitment. This can be on either physical or mental grounds. Those who are found unable to serve the military pay an additional 2% income tax, and must in any case serve in Civil Protection (Police, Fire Department etc.), though the duration of this is much shorter. As of January 2004, the income tax was raised to 3% by the Federal Council. Also, those who have conscience issues against war (for example, people who experienced violence at a young age, or have been in a warzone) can serve in Civil Service, where they do various kinds of social services, such as reconstructing cultural sites, helping the elderly and so on and so forth. However, a citizen may only request enrollment in Civil Service if they are psychologically and physically eligible for military service, but they have to put in one and a half times more time than they would as soldiers.

Conscription occurs at the age of 18 years. At the age of 20, about half the service is done during an initial training period of 21 or 18 weeks, depending on the service branch, with the exception of the Grenadiers, an elite infantry unit with a 25-week boot camp. Initial training (following regular boot camp) for members of the AAD, Switzerland's new SAS-type Special Forces unit, which is an all-volunteer professional unit with a rigorous selection process, is 18 months. Thereafter, men remain in the military until the age of 30 (or longer, if the military service is not yet completed), performing three weeks of training every year. However, the service period of non-commissioned officers and officers is significantly longer. .........
 During military service, the employee is paid a compensation of 80% of his regular salary by the state. Most employers, however, continue to pay the full salary during military service. In this case, the compensation is paid to the employer. Employers cannot fire a person in service by law.

Famously, members of the armed forces keep their rifles and uniforms in their homes for immediate mobilization, as well as 50 rounds of ammunition in a sealed tin, to be used for self defense while traveling to the mobilization points. Additional ammunition is kept at military bases where the militia are supposed to report. Swiss military doctrines are arranged in ways that make this organization very effective and rapid. Switzerland claims to be able to mobilize the entire population for warfare within 12 hours. In contrast, it can take several weeks to several months for a militarily-active country such as the United States to mobilize its military force.


Military manpower
Military age    18-32 years of age obligatorily  36 for subaltern officers, 52 for staff officers and higher
Availability    males age 15-49: 1,855,808 (2000 est.)
Fit for military service    males age 15-49: 1,579,921 (2000 est.)
Reaching military age annually    males: 42,169 (2000 est.)
Military expenditures  Dollar figure    $3.1 billion (FY98)  Percent of GDP 1.2% (FY98)

Quote
On May 18, 2003, Swiss voters approved the military reform project "Army XXI" to drastically reduce the size of the Swiss Army. Starting in January 2004, the 524,000-strong militia was pared down to 220,000 conscripts, including 80,000 reservists. The defense budget of SFr 4.3 billion ($3.1 billion) was trimmed by SFr 300 million and some 2,000 jobs are expected to be shed between 2004 and 2011.



Why I would not mind seeing some form of Federal Service being mandatory in the United States.  The Swiss system is an excellent example.  Civil service as an alternative.  Paying an extra 2% or 3% in taxes for NOT serving.  Excellent!

1.5 million troops, militia, and reservists ready on 12 hours notice?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Mace2004 on March 02, 2007, 11:07:11 AM
Here's the follow-on story.

Quote
VADUZ, Liechtenstein - After being embarassed that its border guard failed to notice the Swiss invasion, Liechtenstein immediately reacted by mobilizing the remaining members of its 1996 soccer team known for its success over Latvia's FC Universitate Riga (Liechtenstein by 1–1 and 4–2) as a show of fource and declared war on France.  French President Jacques Chirac, upon hearing that the world's sixth-smallest independant nation had declared war upon the French Republic, reacted by exclaiming "sacre bleu!.....Who?"  

After receiving a detailed briefing from his Defense Minister during which President Chirac learned of the overwhelming Liechtensteinse power arrayed against him and that German was Liechtenstein's official language, declared "c'est la vie" and surrendered.  While leaving the stage with Liechtenstein's Prince Alois following the formal signing of the surrender accord, former President Chirac was overheard saying "why yes, of course I like Schnitzel".  

In a related incident, a spokesman for the French Marine National attributed the "fog of war" and "miscommunications" as reasons the Navy failed to receive timely notification of the surrender and that was why they had immediately put to sea and scuttled their ships.  The spokesman also said, "sure we're embarassed, you'd think we'd have this down by now."
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 11:14:10 AM
Yup, little Switzerland is the most heavily armed society in the western world.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Max on March 02, 2007, 11:16:04 AM
Lolz Mace...too funny! :D

Btw...Liechtenstein is bordered on the west by the Rhine River. How could the Swiss troops not know they were off course?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Dinger on March 02, 2007, 11:16:08 AM
Yeah, it's a weird sight to see kids put their rifles overhead on the trains around here....
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 11:22:11 AM
Where would that be Dinger? You in Switzerland?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: GtoRA2 on March 02, 2007, 11:22:13 AM
Yep the swiss are every anti gun persons nightmare.

Every house is packing automatic weapons and no one kills each other.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 11:25:43 AM
They're every car owner’s nightmare too, but that's another story.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Airscrew on March 02, 2007, 11:26:39 AM
Quote
Originally posted by GtoRA2
Yep the swiss are every anti gun persons nightmare.

Every house is packing automatic weapons and no one kills each other.

dont let a democrat see that, it ruins their view of the new world order and makes them unhappy
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: GtoRA2 on March 02, 2007, 11:41:00 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Viking
They're every car owner’s nightmare too, but that's another story.


Ok why?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: GtoRA2 on March 02, 2007, 11:41:55 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Airscrew
dont let a democrat see that, it ruins their view of the new world order and makes them unhappy


Exactly lol.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 11:57:05 AM
Quote
Originally posted by GtoRA2
Ok why?


Long story. Let's just say that the "Green" party is in charge of vehicle and traffic regulations. After all legally required modifications are made a big motorbike has about 70 hp left. They "fix" heavy traffic by reducing the capacity of the roads and removing parking spaces to force people to drive elsewhere. They’re doing exactly the opposite of what a normal sane person would do. To quote Clarkson anticipating the Swiss response when he drove through Switzerland in the Veyron: “Nein! Nein! It is too loud! Get it out! Get it out!”.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: GtoRA2 on March 02, 2007, 12:06:24 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Viking
Long story. Let's just say that the "Green" party is in charge of vehicle and traffic regulations. After all legally required modifications are made a big motorbike has about 70 hp left. They "fix" heavy traffic by reducing the capacity of the roads and removing parking spaces to force people to drive elsewhere. They’re doing exactly the opposite of what a normal sane person would do. To quote Clarkson anticipating the Swiss response when he drove through Switzerland in the Veyron: “Nein! Nein! It is too loud! Get it out! Get it out!”.


lol
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Dinger on March 02, 2007, 02:24:03 PM
Yeah, I need to change my 20 from "The Venereal Isle" to "Confusio Helvetica"
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: sveno on March 02, 2007, 02:42:55 PM
i recall some fellow heavy mortars once hit over liechtenstein - the bombardment wasn't the problem. the following forest fire was :D

btw. you guys should check stats on privatly owned guns - you would see that the swiss aren't really fancy about guns...
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Xargos on March 02, 2007, 02:50:29 PM
It's also rumored that the Swiss are descendants  of the Knights Templars.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Gunslinger on March 02, 2007, 02:58:58 PM
I had swiss cheese once.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Airscrew on March 02, 2007, 03:03:30 PM
I used to drink Swiss Miss Hot chocolate :cool:
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 03:15:35 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Xargos
It's also rumored that the Swiss are descendants  of the Knights Templars.


Highly unlikely as the Knight Templar took a vow of chastity like other men of the cloth ;) Switzerland is however the last bastion of the Holy Roman Empire, the last Roman Emperor abdicating in the early 1800’s after a military defeat to France.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Airscrew on March 02, 2007, 03:46:18 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Viking
Highly unlikely as the Knight Templar took a vow of chastity like other men of the cloth ;) Switzerland is however the last bastion of the Holy Roman Empire, the last Roman Emperor abdicating in the early 1800’s after a military defeat to France.

So they're not all related to Roger Moore?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 03:48:42 PM
'fraid not. Maybe Connery though; he looks like a bastard.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Dinger on March 02, 2007, 03:56:14 PM
As the only one in this room who has actually held in his hands documents produced by the Knights Templar, I'd say you're wrong.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: moot on March 02, 2007, 04:05:09 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Viking
Templar chastity

Didn't those knights get a little brown from time to time?  Rite of the snake or something?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 04:09:17 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dinger
As the only one in this room who has actually held in his hands documents produced by the Knights Templar, I'd say you're wrong.


So the Swiss are descendants of the Knights Templar?


lol moot, Rite of the Snake indeed. One-eyed snake at that. Good one.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: moot on March 02, 2007, 04:10:58 PM
Seriously.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Viking on March 02, 2007, 04:17:38 PM
Still... lol
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Mace2004 on March 02, 2007, 04:24:34 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Viking
Highly unlikely as the Knight Templar took a vow of chastity like other men of the cloth ;) Switzerland is however the last bastion of the Holy Roman Empire, the last Roman Emperor abdicating in the early 1800’s after a military defeat to France.
The Pope might have something to say about that.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: moot on March 02, 2007, 04:37:37 PM
(http://www.amounderness.com/site/images/lrgeimage/templar-seal.jpg)
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Dinger on March 02, 2007, 04:41:47 PM
bah.  The Templars were suppressed at the beginning of the 14th century. They weren't too literate either. But they were predominantly french-speaking, if they could speak any language.
I mean, sidewinders up the tailpipe, sure that was going on in all kinds of monastic orders. The King of France bringing it up? Gee, wouldn't that be because the Templars ran his accounts? No surprise there: states in trouble always run up their bankers on charges, guilty or not.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: LePaul on March 02, 2007, 04:51:49 PM
All that training to be neutral
Title: Swiss cheese invasion
Post by: moot on March 02, 2007, 04:52:19 PM
Yes, but Kundalini, kiss on the ass, was that made up?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Ack-Ack on March 02, 2007, 05:04:23 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Airscrew
I used to drink Swiss Miss Hot chocolate :cool:



Bet you can't say Swiss Miss without smiling.


ack-ack
Title: Re: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: texasmom on March 02, 2007, 05:15:22 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Airscrew
ZURICH, Switzerland - What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.
 
According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

 


I did something similar at a land-nav course a million years ago. Went so dang far in the wrong direction that I ended up in the next state. Thankfully I was chased by a giant turkey (which I didn't realize were so big or agressive until that day) chased me back in the right direction.:D
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Dinger on March 02, 2007, 05:20:48 PM
Dude, Swiss Miss is what we drank on boy scout campouts. You know, the ones where Mister Henkins would regale us all with stories about his service in the Artillery in the Korean War. Then we'd go to bed, and the stories would continue, about the 'Fire Missions" he'd execute with the smallest boy in the troop, who would inevitably have to bunk with him. I mean, the guy was so fulla crop, the other scoutmasters shoulda seen it: he had a passion for small-bore tubes, yet pretended to be a red leg. Sheesh. It took them ten years after I left for them to ban him.

But I digress. Hop hop, and all that schwiiz.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: eskimo2 on March 02, 2007, 06:07:21 PM
Yup, The Swiss Army is frightening:

(http://k53.pbase.com/o4/44/546244/1/63596250.OmZOBcF9.DSC16912W.jpg)
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Xargos on March 02, 2007, 06:25:08 PM
http://www.templarhistory.com/switzerland.html


1. The founding of the embryonic Switzerland conforms exactly to the period when the Templars were being persecuted in France.

2. Switzerland is just to the east of France and would have been particularly easy for fleeing Templar brothers from the whole region of France to get to.

3. In the history of the first Swiss Cantons there are tales of white coated knights mysteriously appearing and helping the locals to gain their independence against foreign domination.

4. The Templars were big in banking, farming and engineering (of an early type). These same aspects can be seen as inimical to the commencement and gradual evolution of the separate states that would eventually be Switzerland.

5. Even the Swiss don't really know the ins and outs of their earliest history (or suggest that they don't.) They are famous for being secretive and we don't have to tell interested readers that this is something they share absolutely with the Templars.

6. The famous Templar Cross is incorporated into the flags of many of the Swiss Cantons. As are other emblems, such as keys and lambs, that were particularly important to the Knights Templar.

7. The Swiss were and are famous for their religious tolerance - and so were the Templars.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: DiabloTX on March 02, 2007, 06:43:26 PM
LOL mace, good one.

I think Sir Ulrich was from Liechtenstein.

Funny chap that guy, and pretty damned good at tourneys.

He ended up hooking up with some hot princess, ummm, Jocelyn was her name IIRC.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: DREDIOCK on March 02, 2007, 06:44:12 PM
Quote
Originally posted by eskimo2
Yup, The Swiss Army is frightening:

(http://k53.pbase.com/o4/44/546244/1/63596250.OmZOBcF9.DSC16912W.jpg)


They must be.

ANYONE with enough nads to go out dressed like that in public has GOT to be badass :eek:
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Shuckins on March 02, 2007, 07:19:46 PM
At the time the fledgling Swiss cantons won their independence from Burgundian control, they were THE premiere fighting force in Europe....employing as combined arms a massed pike formation and missile fire to devastate the knighted chivalry that attempted to subjugate them.

In one battle, the name of which slips my mind at the moment, Swiss pike men bloodily repelled an attack by mounted, armored Burgundian knights, killing 400 horses in the first charge.

So well disciplined were the Swiss, and so well conditioned, they could move across the countryside with nearly the speed of the mounted knights.  In battle, they employed drums and trumpets to signal massed and timed movements to catch their enemies off guard.

After winning their independence, the Swiss earned great wealth, as did the Landsknechts of Germany, by provided the finest mercenary forces in Europe.

So faithfully did the serve the Pope in his wars, that they were granted the permanent honor of providing his personal guards at the Vatican.

The young soldier in the foppish finery is wearing the same type of uniform the Swiss guards at the Vatican have always worn.

Regards, Shuckins
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: DiabloTX on March 02, 2007, 07:24:12 PM
NM.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Shuckins on March 02, 2007, 07:25:46 PM
Yep,  I did.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: tedrbr on March 02, 2007, 08:54:53 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Shuckins


The young soldier in the foppish finery is wearing the same type of uniform the Swiss guards at the Vatican have always worn.

Regards, Shuckins


Including the concealed SMG under the fine threads to use on anyone who care to make fun of his uniform?
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: AquaShrimp on March 02, 2007, 09:06:43 PM
This doesn't apply anymore, but at one time, the Swiss Army had the best tanks in the world.  In 1946, they had equipped themselves with German Panthers and Stugs.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Shuckins on March 02, 2007, 10:02:04 PM
The Swiss are the living embodiment of the phrase "Peace Through Strength."

Because of the large proportion of trained soldiers for such a small population, and the rugged terrain of their country, the Swiss have stoutly maintained their independence and their neutrality in the face of much larger aggressors.  

As a result, the Swiss have not had to fight a war in more than 200 years.

Hitler passed on the suggestion that Switzerland be invaded during World War II because his generals felt that the cost would be prohibitive.

The Swiss soldiers do manage to keep their weapons and ammunition in their homes without murdering each other.....which casts considerable doubt on the anti-gun premise that the mere presence of guns leads to violence.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: Makarov9 on March 02, 2007, 10:10:47 PM
They make damn nice rifles. The Swiss K31 I recently purchased has become one of my favorite rifles. Damn accurate and a nice two-stage trigger.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: texasmom on March 02, 2007, 10:23:14 PM
I find it difficult to believe that anything formidable can come out of a country who has made it against the law for parents to spank their kids.  They're the *kinder, gentler* people.
Title: The Evil Swiss Invade
Post by: vorticon on March 02, 2007, 10:29:46 PM
yawn. its easy to be a big man when until recently, your country could be defended by a gaggle of schoolgirls with a big bag of marbles :p