Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: rogerdee on March 06, 2007, 12:18:55 PM
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A blond and a bruniete are sitting talking,the brunette says to the blond her boyfriend had bad dundruff.so she gave him head and shoulders.
After a few miuntes the blond asked
how do u give shoulders?:p
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a blonde female cop does a traffic stop on a blonde female driver who ran a red light.
"Driver's License, please." says the blonde cop.
The blonde driver rumages around in her purse, unable to find the driver's license.
Impatient, the blonde cop says "C'mon, I don't have all day. Its oblong shaped, about the size of a playing card and it has your picture on it."
The blonde driver finds her eye shadow compact and looks inside at the mirror. Seeing her image on it, she hands it to the blonde cop - "Here it is officer."
The blonde police officer looks at the mirror and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a cop. Just slow it down, ok?"
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:rofl
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ok thats one is gunny LOL
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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
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ok thats one is gunny LOL
glad it didn't get your dander up dmf ;)
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Originally posted by Gunthr
glad it didn't get your dander up dmf ;)
Thats cause the last person she threw a grenade at was also blond.
What they ended up doing was getting into a a perpetual game of "Catch"
Eventually the other woman got hungry and mistoook the granade for an unripened pinapple and tried to take a bite out of it breaking several of her teeth. When DMF asked the girl is she was ok the girl, with blood running out of her mouth and down her face kept yelling "MY FEEF MY FEEF!"
So DMF did the next logical thing and took her to a Podiatrist :D
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A kinky brunette had a blond husband. One fine night, she fancies a little game in bed, while the blond guy is just reading the daily sun.
So, after fumbling about for a while, she whispers into his ear: "Darling, talk about something dirty will you".
"Uhhh, the kitchen?" he replies.
:D
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Attractive Blonde picks up an "Egg and Mustard Cress" sandwich from the lunchtime food van.
She goes to pay and asks, "is the mustard hot in this?"
-- this actually happened yesterday here at work and I almost wet myself
:-D
--- Edited for greater world understanding:
Mustard cress or Cress is the first shoots of the mustard plant from which mustard seeds come from, basically a tint white stalk with 2 tiny leaves used mainly as a crappy garnish.
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Originally posted by Blank
Attractive Blonde picks up an "Egg and Mustard Cress" sandwich from the lunchtime food van.
She goes to pay and asks, "is the mustard hot in this?"
-- this actually happened yesterday here at work and I almost wet myself
:-D
I guess it's funnier if you're british?
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Q; Why did the blond mom only change her baby's diaper once a month.
A; Because on the box it said 'For up to 35 lbs'
sorry
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Three blonds escaped from a federal lockup, since they had no place to run and they were still in their jump-suits they decided to duck out in the local grocery store. Some officers saw them running into the grocery store and decided to follow.
When the officers arrived in the store it was empty, except for the cashiers and a few other employees. So the officers decided to look throughout the store. Meanwhile the three blonds hid themselves in some potato sacks. As the officers looked around the store they noticed the three potato sacks that that the inmates were hiding in. They thought to themselves that it was odd to see these sacks lying in the middle of an aisle. So they went to see what was inside of them.
One of the officers said, "I wonder what's in these potato sacks?" Another officer replied, "Well, there's only one way to find out." Just before the officers were about to open the first potato sack they heard a silent Meow from the bag. The officers said, "Oh, these are kittens, let's see what's in the other potato sacks." Just as they were about to open the second potato sack they heard a WUFF WUFF. The officers said to each other, "Oh, these are dogs, let's see what's in the last potato sack."
As they were about to open the potato sack they saw the sack twitch a little, the officer's asked, "Who's in there?" The third blond not knowing how to respond and knowing that her only two choices (cats and dogs) had already been used she replied saying, "POTATOES!"
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
I guess it's funnier if you're british?
:lol
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Originally posted by wigglepog
Q; Why did the blond mom only change her baby's diaper once a month.
A; Because on the box it said 'For up to 35 lbs'
sorry
are you saying sorry because the joke is terrible or because you made fun of blondes?
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Thats cause the last person she threw a grenade at was also blond.
What they ended up doing was getting into a a perpetual game of "Catch"
Eventually the other woman got hungry and mistoook the granade for an unripened pinapple and tried to take a bite out of it breaking several of her teeth. When DMF asked the girl is she was ok the girl, with blood running out of her mouth and down her face kept yelling "MY FEEF MY FEEF!"
So DMF did the next logical thing and took her to a Podiatrist :D
Wanna be the next one to play catch :)
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Sure, except this time I decide if it's an incendiary grenade or napalm!:D
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Originally posted by Gunthr
glad it didn't get your dander up dmf ;)
Just cause I'm blond doesn't mean i get mad at the blond jokes, I understand that 90% of blonds in the world are totally brainless. We have a few of them at work I could tell you real stuff, not jokes that goes on at my work that'd make you laugh, but most of it you really gotta be there.
Like today a guy comes in thats been with the city of about 6 years, complaining that his P-3 ( performance overview) said he was black ( he's white as a sheet) and had been working for the city since May 2nd 1963. Angie, (a blond) tried like hell to help the poor guy who was obviously neither black nor old enough to work there since 1963, ( he's 43)and all she could do was ask him if he was sure of his race. And when she finally figured out how to make him white on the computer she asked him how he held his age so well .
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does blonds at our school walking into closed doors qualify as funny?:noid
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Oh yea it does.
Anybody stupid enough to walk into a closed door is funny
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Originally posted by Angus
A kinky brunette had a blond husband. One fine night, she fancies a little game in bed, while the blond guy is just reading the daily sun.
So, after fumbling about for a while, she whispers into his ear: "Darling, talk about something dirty will you".
"Uhhh, the kitchen?" he replies.
:D
I do believe that's the first blonde joke I've heard about a man...
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yes ive gotten hurt in school by a blonds stupidity:furious
first got to school still half sleep(pretty much sleep walking to class)
some genus Blond doesnt see the do not open door sign
blond opens door as im walking by
BAM!
Me::furious :furious :furious :furious :furious :furious :furious
and the Blond didnt even see that big sign:furious
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Originally posted by dmf
Wanna be the next one to play catch :)
With you?
I wouldnt be totally adverse to the idea :D
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
With you?
I wouldnt be totally adverse to the idea :D
ok I get to toss first, start counting :)
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Originally posted by dmf
ok I get to toss first, start counting :)
silly blond.
that wasnt a grenade. THAT one was a pinapple :p
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oops
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How many blonde jokes are there?
Two. The rest are true stories.
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Originally posted by dmf
ok I get to toss first, start counting :)
I think he would prefer you to be the catcher.
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I may be blond, but I'm not stupid.
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That reminds me of the pineapple joke.
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ok I'll ask, what pineapple joke
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Hear about the blonde given a vibrator for her birthday?
... knocked her two front teeth out!
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thats just wrong.
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BTW you have a dentist appointment next Tues at 4:00
:D
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DMF,
I think you're beeing picked on ;)
I personaly don't believe that hair color has anything to do with intelligence but the blond jokes are funny.
Mark
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What do you call a nude blonde standing on her head?
A brunette w bad breath.
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Originally posted by Mark Luper
DMF,
I think you're beeing picked on ;)
I personaly don't believe that hair color has anything to do with intelligence but the blond jokes are funny.
Mark
You think I'm being picked on? whatever gives you that idea LOL I know theres a lot of stuff you and me don't agree on but I have to agree with you this time LOL
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Two blonde Labs and a Chuahau are eyeballin a fine looking Poodle...the poodle remarks "If you can use the words Liver and Cheese in a sentence then we'll have fun".
The first Lab sez.."I Love Liver and Cheese!". Wrong sez the Poodle...
The second Lab sez "I Hate Liver and Cheese!" Wrong sez the Poodle...
The Chuahau sez "Liver Alone, Cheese Mine!!!"
:D
Mac
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Originally posted by SirLoin
What do you call a nude blonde standing on her head?
A brunette w bad breath.
eeeewwwww
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Blonde is a state of mind (not hair color) and some folks (both genders) have been out of state for all of their lives.
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Husband walks into bedroom carrying an inflateable sheep under his arm..His blonde wife is lying on bed...
He says."Honey,this is the pig i have been having sex with."
She says.."Dear,i think you will find that is not a pig."
He says..."Dear,i think you will find i wasn't talking to you."
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Originally posted by Blank
Attractive Blonde picks up an "Egg and Mustard Cress" sandwich from the lunchtime food van.
She goes to pay and asks, "is the mustard hot in this?"
Wow, this is extremely funny, but probably not in the way you intended.
Don't get me wrong, I mean, I'm sure this anecdote kills at the tea party.
First: Where you live the roach coach offers Egg and Mustard Cress sandwiches. Does a Miss Poppins reside in your neighborhood?
Second: You find this person's inadvertent betrayel of her shamefully shallow fund of brunch fare knowledge so humorous.
BTW is mustard cress hot?
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Originally posted by SirLoin
Husband walks into bedroom carrying an inflateable sheep under his arm..His blonde wife is lying on bed...
He says."Honey,this is the pig i have been having sex with."
She says.."Dear,i think you will find that is not a pig."
He says..."Dear,i think you will find i wasn't talking to you."
Booooooooooo
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Originally posted by dmf
You think I'm being picked on? whatever gives you that idea LOL I know theres a lot of stuff you and me don't agree on but I have to agree with you this time LOL
I only pick on ya cause I like ya.
If I didnt like ya....
Well lets just say I wouldnt pick on ya ;)
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
I only pick on ya cause I like ya.
If I didnt like ya....
Well lets just say I wouldnt pick on ya ;)
I know that