Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: lazs2 on March 16, 2007, 08:16:07 AM
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Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
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Without hesitation.
The real question is; could I find anyone else willing to put up with all my **** :D
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by all your ***** do you mean put up with you being yourself and enjoying the things you do?
I don't think that would be all that difficult.. many women are tolerant to a point.
Is that what you look for?
lazs
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No re-marry. It was tough enough finding this one and I no longer have the patience to look that long for another. Added to that is that the herd is pretty picked over at my age. The relatively sane ones were cut out a long time ago. Primarily, I think only the projects would be left.
I don't watch chick flicks; I did buy her a big DLP HD so that she could watch them whenever she wishes. I go play with the dogs when she does that.
We pretty much agree on most political things so we really don't influence each other. She thinks like I do, I think like she does with few exceptions on politics. On the exceptions, we agree to disagree and fuggedaboudit. On the things that count, like the 2nd, she's squared away.
Not much compromise at all.
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
Only if it was the right woman, that being, a best friend. A best friend (female in this case!) would be someone willing to watch what we both like, politically "aligned", loves to do what I like to do, and visa versa (meaning willing to try what she likes to do, minus knitting!)
They're tough to find...I truly believe I won the wife lotto in 1990. :)
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nevermind bein hung twice, never did the first ;)
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I would re-marry if for no other reason than for my 4 yr old son to have a brother/sister.
Saw Borat last nite...
One good piece of advice was the guy boarding the bus and say to Borat.."Never..ever.ever...Let a woman make you the person you are.":aok
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so you watch what you both like? what if there is something she likes and you don't or vice versa? My girlfriend and I like the same movies for the most part but.. she doesn't like WWII movies... I watch em by myself or with a friend.
I am curious because.. I always get from men that they would never marry again if they had the choice or...
The more wishy washy... "I would never be able to find such a gem again"
The answers mean the same to me.
I am very fond of my current girlfriend.. I am glad we are not married... in 5 years we have butted heads to the point that she left. that was fine... and... it didn't cost me a house or half my retirement or whatever.. and.. it was a lot easier for her to come back since no lawyers or courts were involved...
If she didn't? Oh well.... gonna miss ya but.. if you are happier without me...
I am glad I had married young and got it over with.. It was the best way to raise kids and I love my kids. I see no reason for it now and lots of reasons to not be married...
lazs
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Never married - felt the urge once and glad I resisted otherwise I would have been divorced from her by now. No longer feel the urge.
When I am with someone, I'm ok. When I get tired of her, I don't mind being alone. Currently without, but have a friend who I keep trying to convince to be "friends with benefits". So far she ain't buying into it :cry
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If something is meant to happen, then it happens.
I've gotten close to marriage a number of times, but never did it because it was just not the right time, or place, or person to be sure it would be worth the legal commitment.
The funny thing is that the very first girl I knew, is to this date the one I would pick above all.
The only person worth being with is the one that lets you be who you are, at minimum, and at best catalyses you to be everything you strive to be.
I don't compromise my happiness nor theirs.
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(quietly waiting to see if Skizzy participates in this discussion)
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Originally posted by moot
The only person worth being with is the one that lets you be who you are, at minimum, and at best catalyses you to be everything you strive to be.
well put.
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
Not me. If I ever got divorced
I would rather walk the streets of Bahgdad unarmed carrying an American flag and a poster with a cartoon showing Allah bent over and taking it up the rear then to ever get married again.
Remarried? LOL no thanks.
Like an old man once told me. "So you get a divorce and finda new woman. what you end up with in the end is a different face and the same level of aggrivation."
As John Wayne said in "Back to Alaska "Women, I havent met one yet that was half as reliable as a horse"
Movies, Wont go to a movie unless I too want to watch it.
Did in the last year watch a movie she wanted to watch on "on Demand"to have some "together" time.
the Movie Was Brokeback Mountain.
Not a bad movie cept for the parts when I was running from the room litterally gagging and trying to keep from throwing up.
I wont make that mistake again
while she claims she didnt
I think she deliberately did it to keep me from wanting to have sex that night.
Nobody effects my vote. I probably effect the way she votes 99.9999% more then she effects mine.
Life is a series of comprimises. Hard to put a percentage on it
I'd say the kids have much more to do with what compromises I make then any other single or combined factor
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
1. Maybe, but I wouldn't rush into it.
2. Nope.
3. Nope.
4. A fraction of the compromise because I'm a parent.
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Hard to say for sure , but, I seriously doubt I would ever get married again.
Been married to this one for 35 years. This is my second. First one set records for short marriages. :)
About the only thing the wife watches that I can`t handle is the daily reruns of Friends. :)
Pretty well politicaly in line with each other. Both radical. :rofl
Not a lot of compromise on either side of the fence. We`re pretty comfortable with each other and both pretty much enjoy the same things.
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sandie... I believe it is natural to have some compromise in order to raise children and I do not find that abhorent... Compromise to another adult is always problematic.
lazs
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I didn't get married young, I was 28 the first time.
I did remarry but it took me about 10 years before I made that decision. I made that decision after a LONG bit of thought and wasn't in a hurry at all when it came up.
I did watch some "chick flicks" with the wife, then again she watched some guy flicks like SPR, Wind Talkers (not real good but still a guy flick) and others. At this time we have dual TV's and if it's a real sappy chick flick she'll put on her headphones so the sound track doesn't go through the entire RV.
Both of us are comfortable in our own skins and don't "need" the other to tell what to do or how to live. We were already pretty compatible when we got together as this wasn't the first for either of us. Each knows the other has their own quirks and we accept that there will be times when one will have sway over the other in some decisions. For the most part we are pretty well in synch and can even finish the others sentences in a conversation at times.
No Laz, that doesn't mean finishing the sentence with "yes dear". :p
When it comes down to voting it's very similar. Neither will tell the other how to vote. We do ask each other what they think of a candidate or proposition.
There is some compromise in a lot of things but it's easy since both of us think very much alike on most matters. It's certainly not any problem to me to "let her have her way" on some things nor is it a problem for her to do the same. Each of us has our own particular strengths in knowledge and we don't try to play one up in that area. Both of us like to learn so seeing and finding new things is fun for us. Sticking to a single view point can often hinder that situation so we allow latitude in what and how we do things for each other.
In a have to be quick decision or one that has to be made very unemotionally I usually make it same as one involving technical issues. Otherwise we do discuss and decide together. Any decision about significant money (ie over $1k) we both decide. The new to me bike is a good example. I picked the make / model / year and so on but got her input as to how she liked riding it as well. If she was too uncomfortable with it we moved on. I knew what she likes so it wasn't hard to limit the choice. We both are comfortable with the bike and enjoy riding it.
In short neither of us feels "threatened" emotionally, mentally or physically by the other. We're partners and expect some difficulties but the world won't come to an end if we hit one.
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
My Wife will not leave me, until she is dead. I won't marry again after that. It would be unfair as I would have a difficult time trying not to compare the replacement with the current one.
I do not know what a 'chick flick' is. If the movie is entertaining, then I will watch it. If my Wife happens to be there, it is a bonus.
My Wife and I never discuss politics.
No compromises here. None that I am aware of anyway.
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Skuzz is PWed. :)
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No to the first .
My wife has movie and a dinner nite with her chick flik friends
once a month .
Politics don't mean crap in Canada , we've both agreed to
retire in Kansas when the kids are all gone the second time .
I,m mostly deaf so I don't compromise , I get away with ignore if needed .
Laz yu need to come back to the Gen .Dissc . forum and pick on someone
to liven it up .
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Give me a break lazs, this thread is nothing but poorly disguised excuse to once again belittle us that like being married.
...kind of like a Democrat posting, "sooo...how many of you guys...
can stand to support Bush?"
The only surprising thing is how many people fell for it.
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Originally posted by Thrawn
Give me a break lazs, this thread is nothing but poorly disguised excuse to once again belittle us that like being married.
OMG! I'm a victim! Can I get some sort of compensation?
:rofl
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Originally posted by Toad
OMG! I'm a victim! Can I get some sort of compensation?
:rofl
omfglolz!
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Originally posted by Jackal1
Skuzz is PWed. :)
After owning all you clowns all day long, it is a nice change of pace. :D
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See Rule #7
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I enjoy being married. I have a great family, 2 daughters, 4 granddaughters, great in-laws. The works...... can't think of one bad thing to say about it at all.
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There's one big reason that I would probably remarry.
Influenza.
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
After owning all you clowns all day long, it is a nice change of pace. :D
Skuzzy... he said PWed, not pwned. Second word is "Whipped". ;)
Never married, btw... but sometimes I dream longingly.
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
After owning all you clowns all day long, it is a nice change of pace. :D
:rofl :rofl :rofl
Skuzzy is on a roll today.
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if I suddenly became single I would never enter into another contract that denied me all the fruits of the grove. I man is a seedmaker and he needs all the fields he can get his plow into.
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BTW, Nevar again!
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I'm with Shuff on this one. 25 years in and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Best move I ever made. No apologies for saying that either. It's never stopped me from doing anything.
We've been through a lot together, in particular losing 2 of the kids in a car wreck a year and a half ago. I'd not have survived that without her. If anything the marriage is stronger now then it's ever been and it was doing quite well before that.
We choose movies we both enjoy. But we also have our own interests and support that for each other. She's supported my aviation history obsession forever and still couldn't tell you the difference between a 109 and a Spitfire. She starts talking about quilting or gardening and my eyes glaze over, but I know it's important to her so I'll help if she needs it.
Marriage is about working together and supporting each other. if that's compromise then I guess we do it.
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Well I make comprises, and I don't really mind it.
To me marriage is give and take, I hitched up with someone I love and respect but a girl with pretty different views on a lot of things. I think the differences between us keep things interesting and makes for good back and forth.
I think being around someone who rubber stamped everything I said and did all day would get rather boring, but maybe thats just me.
I married a partner not a maid.
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Would I remarry? No. Do I watch movies with her? Yes. She sees the ones I want to more often than I watch hers. I do all the things I enjoy unless kids warrant otherwise. Been together for 20 years and we still get along great. I can't say marriage is for every one, and for me it's had its ups and downs. I have no complaints.
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Originally posted by Shuffler
I enjoy being married. I have a great family, 2 daughters, 4 granddaughters, great in-laws. The works...... can't think of one bad thing to say about it at all.
So,
Your wife looks over your shoulder alot huh?
;)
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Originally posted by Thrawn
Give me a break lazs, this thread is nothing but poorly disguised excuse to once again belittle us that like being married.
...kind of like a Democrat posting, "sooo...how many of you guys...
can stand to support Bush?"
The only surprising thing is how many people fell for it.
I see we have worked Bush in to this.:rolleyes:
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
I finalised a divorce (2nd time) last spring, and I am unsure if I will get remarried. Seems to me like somebody already said before, that the herd is getting thinner as I get older, and I really do not have the patience to pick through it.
I am with Skuzzy on this one, if the movie is good and I am interested, I will watch it. If a significant other is along, then all the better.
I have been fortunate in my two trys in that my politics are usually the same as the one I date.
I think my last marriage was all about giving in to her demands. That is why we are divorced as I refused to leave Colorado. I definitely feel though that life is about compromise to a point.
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
My Wife will not leave me, until she is dead. I won't marry again after that.
Skuzzy hit the nail on the head.
"How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?"
You mean "romantic comedies"? I actually have liked a few of them... If I like the movie, I'll watch it. If it looks dumb, I'll go fire up my PC. She's the same way. (We're both geeks.)
"How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?"
She could care less about politics, and generally listens to me.
"How much compromise in your life is because you are married?"
No more than the general compromises of life. I "can't" shoot people, or rob banks, or randomly curse and passers by... Life is compromise, it's the new "everyone owes me something" selfish generation that I fear the most.
I'm not hen pecked, if that's what you mean. We both have things we enjoy together, and things we enjoy ourselves...it's part of a healthy marriage...imo. I've had some friends who had to 'check-in' every few minutes etc., that's no way to live. :(
This thread makes me sad...and very thankful for the woman I've been blessed to have.
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After 10 years since *she* went, I'm still recovering. Seems like the further I moved away from marriage, the better things became - not that I have ever denounced marriage.
However, I do now have a potential #2 in my sights. Long haul job tho
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
No. Not that I hate being married- I love it. I don't think I could ever love anyone like my current wife.
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
*waves hand* She also goes to my films without complaint. It works out.
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
I listen to what she has to say, but I tend to be far more political, so it's the other way around mostly. I probably have more of an impact on her politics than she does mine. Still, she's her own person and I don't tell her what to do.
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
A ton, and I'm better because of it. I don't think a person is complete alone, and my wife has helped bring out the better parts of me. Because of her I try to be a better person, be a responsible parent, and have no fear of growing older, amongst other things.
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i'm not married, because i dont watch movies what my Girlfriend watch,
i have a different view on politics then she.
ok the reality is we have more then 2 TV's, so no problem,
and politics allways work against both of us no matter what side
you believe.
What counts is our 1 year old daughter, thats the only thing its worth all
the daily minni fights, and of course i still love her and the way she can turn
me on ;p
R
Gh0stFT
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No, It's taken me 23 years to train this one, and I am not starting over!
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My answer from the other thread...............
No I wouldn't remarry. There is no one else as far as I am concerned that can hold a candle to my wife. Giving my wife some time and paying attention to her , is not hard for me like it is for the "Manly" types. Maybe you fit in that catagory.
We are both Republicans. We discuss things and we vote for who we each one favor. She doesn't tell me what to do about anything. I value her opinion on certain things as I sometimes don't think before I react.
She chose her car. She makes the payments on Her car. I chose my SUV after tading in MY Vette. Grandkids and great nieces and nephews dont all fit in a Vette. Not to mention a DVD player makes the ride quiter sometimes.
She has her checking account and I have mine.
I cook she washes dishes. She cooks I wash dishes. I take care of the Mowing of the yard she makes sure the flower bed looks good.
I play Golf when ever I want to and spend what I want on it , she buys books to read while sitting at the pool.
I open her door when we get out of the car and open the door for her when we go into a building. I aske her waht she wants to eat at restaurants and then order hers and my meal.
I know what she drinks and how she likes it and I make sure its that way. Not because I am afraid of her , but because I want her to be happy and a smile from her makes my day.
Watching Chick Flicks isn't being afraid , it's spending time with someone I love and who makes my life all that it can be. She allows me my toys , my golf and basically whatever I want. Why not try to make her just as happy in any way I can?
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I don’t know if I would marry again, not because I’m not happy with my wife, but because I doubt anyone else could measure up.
We don’t watch a lot of movies and don’t watch many chick-flicks. We only go to the movies in a theater about twice a year. We do watch musicals; I like them as much as she does. She rolls her eyes but will watch stupid comedies with me; she’ll even watch South Park and Family Guy. Often she watches home-improvement and fashion shows while I dork on the computer. More often we both dork on the computers. Movies and TV are not that important to me; there are many other things I enjoy more.
We mostly agree on politics; I respect her opinion. I’d even say that she’s smarter than I am.
Are there compromises to being a husband and father? Sure; but for every give there must be five takes. I suppose there must be compromises to being filthy rich too, but I bet it’s probably a good deal overall.
Given a choice of being filthy rich or married, I’ll take her:
(http://hallbuzz.com/images/2006/dec/joan_cleaver.jpg)
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Im sorry I walked into the wrong studio..Hi Ophra!! (waves)
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
My wife died. Would I remarry? maybe.
Would I watch a chick flick at the theatre for a woman? I have alone, so why not? I've watched war movies, mysteries, love stories, political themes, cartoons, and fantasies. I'm multi-dimensional, appreciated and enjoyed them all.
Sure I'd care about my mate's political views, social views, artistic opinions, and everything else she thought. She's a mate, not last nights hooker I want to ignore. Maybe you need to pick your women better, or find one who's willing to compromize herself for lazsland. Good luck with that.
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
My wife doesn't go for lesbo porn....
eh...that's what you meant wasn't it?
as far as voting, I can go into the booth and vote the way I want. I have a policy to lie to exit polsters to crew up their data, so I can lie to anybody about how I vote.
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Originally posted by FiLtH
Im sorry I walked into the wrong studio..Hi Ophra!! (waves)
:D
I was thinking Dr. Phil
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
After owning all you clowns all day long, it is a nice change of pace. :D
:lol He shoots. He scores. The crowd goes wild.
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hmm.. so a lot of you guys wouldn't get married again because you have the perfect wives who let you do whatever you want.. or.. at least you are thinking that.
This seems to be saying.... no. Obviously you don't have the only good one in the world sooo.. maybe it is not what you are saying it is?
I will watch any movie if it looks good.. I will walk out or turn it off if it turns out to be bad. I find that my taste does not allow me to watch what are commonly called "chick flicks".
I am sure that a lot of it is me. I am pretty shallow and selfish. I do enjoy my children who are grown and my grand daughter. I don't need to be married for that.. in fact.. It is better to not be.
I always let the women deal with the kids.. now, I have to. I do a lot of things I didn't do when I was married. Mostly.. because my money is mine and... I don't have to plan ahead as much.
The legal system is devestating on men in a divorce and I really don't want to go back to square one yet again... you have all heard about it from your divorced friends... it could never happen to you... could it? After all..., you have the only good one... not like all those others.
I have been married (several times) and I am single... Some very good times when I was married... I have even said the same things some of you are saying... I was wrong. I am far happier now.
My relationships with women are truly as you describe now... we really are friends and enjoy each others company... when we don't... we can go to our sepperate houses.
I have car parts and gun parts all over the house... I can tear out a wall or rip up a bathroom to tile it... When I come home most nights it is to an empty house... I can relax. I forgot what that really was each time I was married after a while. I became acclimated and brainwashed..
lazs
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I think being married is a good way to go for most people. But I'm not married. I've had a couple divorces. I have no intention of getting married again.
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Originally posted by lazs2
hmm.. so a lot of you guys wouldn't get married again because you have the perfect wives who let you do whatever you want.. or.. at least you are thinking that.
Obviously you don't have the only good one in the world sooo.. maybe it is not what you are saying it is?
As each person is different, each man's idea of the "perfect wife" would be different. So yes...we can all have the perfect wife.
Is the happiness of others so frustrating to you, that you must belittle them by saying they are lying?
I'm truly sad for you...
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Welp.....I love my wife....I really do. Wonderful, sexy woman. Great cook. Mother of my children. Caring, sensitive, generous to a fault.
Ok...she just left the room.
Would I remarry if she left me? Maybe....but the prospective second missus would have to meet certain requirements that are beyond negotiation:
1. She would have to have money. BIG money. Enough money to keep me in the style to which I would like to become accustomed.
2. She would have to have an isolated country estate, with it's own firing range.
3. Her mansion would have to be equipped with its own gun room....a 20' x 30' gun room, with every wall covered with ornately carved wooden gun cases with glass windows and lighting and exquisitely mounted game heads and a fireplace with mantle and hardwood floors and a complete home entertainment center.
4. The new missus should own a dark blue short-base Chevy pickup and an SUV and an Aston Martin. Oh...and a bass boat....and a small sloop.
5. A hunting lodge located in an isolated mountain meadow in the Swiss Alps.
If she can meet these modest requirements, she will find that I am not so shallow as to put undue emphasis on physical beauty or personality traits....a true Renaissance Man.
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saying you are lying? Not at all.
As I have said... I have at times thought I had the perfect marriage. While in it I have thought that... I had the perfect relationship and that I could never find that again.
I use the gut test now... If my gut starts to churn when I hear her car drive up... I need to get out of the relationship... no matter how much I think it is great.
I have seen couples ripping at each other in vicious ways and when called on it... they deny it is even happening... they don't even notice.
republic...it is like being a luftwhiner in the game... they don't even see they are doing it... everyone else does of course but... they don't.. not till they step away from it.. till they get some distance.
lazs
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The test I use to know if a woman would be suitable for me is... "Could I introduce this woman to my mother?". If yes, worth pursuing further. If no, run!
But I'm happy with my life now. I have a loving wife. I'm not actually married to her myself, you understand! ;)
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Originally posted by lazs2
I have seen couples ripping at each other in vicious ways and when called on it... they deny it is even happening... they don't even notice.
I think to have a good marriage you have to learn first, to fight well. Those married people who say they never fight...are either lying or...one of them is being run over.
Same with any close relationship though...disagreements are inevitable. It's how you handle them that counts. Denying the fight is just causing the next one to be bigger...until something gets resolved.
I agree with the idea that marriage isn't for everyone. Personally, I'd be lost without my wife...
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
NOPE!
I don't do any of those things.
Don't have a wife and fairly sure that, while a girlfriend would be nice, I don't want another one.
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Been married to the same beautiful loving woman for 27 years now. First marriage for both of us.
We didn't marry for money because we both didn't have any... we learned the first word very young..."Compromise".
It wasn't always a smooth road lined with sunshine and flowers, we've had the rocky spots also. But we both agreed that anything worth keeping was worth fighting for. And we fought. With age comes Maturity and as we grow older together there's more and more days filled with laughter and love than before.
If I found myself without her tomorrow, no I wouldn't remarry. It just wouldn't feel right. We've been through alot together. She's a Cancer Survivor. You really know how much you love the other when you think she's gonna pass on soon.
As for watching any movie she wants..I'm for it.
She's a great cook and now a Suishi Chef. Great sense of Humor.
She's givin me 3 beautiful children.
She's a keeper.
:aok
Mac
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So, does being married several times make someone an expert on successful marriage, or…?
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AWMac,
Your wife is a sushi chef? In a restaurant, or at home?
Just when I though my wife was perfect… hmm.
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Originally posted by FastFwd
The test I use to know if a woman would be suitable for me is... "Could I introduce this woman to my mother?". If yes, worth pursuing further. If no, run!
But I'm happy with my life now. I have a loving wife. I'm not actually married to her myself, you understand! ;)
LOL :) OMG, TMI
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Hmmm, a Mom is having a chuckle thinking about some dude boinking someone else's wife? Coincidence? I think not. Hmmm again :)
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so mac are these beautiful children yours or did she give them to you after getting them from someone else?
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I can't imagine ever BEING with another chick, much less marrying one--(this almost came to pass couple years ago when she got cancer..for 2 months, we didn't know if she would live or not) met her in my 30's (only marriage) we are best friends, REALLY would spend 24 hours a day with her if I could. Were something to happen to her, I'd just spend the rest my life a bachelor, would never find another woman like her--at 46, don't HAVE to have a chick around anymore like I did at 26.
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Originally posted by mietla
Hmmm, a Mom is having a chuckle thinking about some dude boinking someone else's wife? Coincidence? I think not. Hmmm again :)
What a horrible thing to say!
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Originally posted by lazs2
hmm.. so a lot of you guys wouldn't get married again because you have the perfect wives who let you do whatever you want.. or.. at least you are thinking that.
This seems to be saying.... no. Obviously you don't have the only good one in the world sooo.. maybe it is not what you are saying it is?
I will watch any movie if it looks good.. I will walk out or turn it off if it turns out to be bad. I find that my taste does not allow me to watch what are commonly called "chick flicks".
I am sure that a lot of it is me. I am pretty shallow and selfish. I do enjoy my children who are grown and my grand daughter. I don't need to be married for that.. in fact.. It is better to not be.
I always let the women deal with the kids.. now, I have to. I do a lot of things I didn't do when I was married. Mostly.. because my money is mine and... I don't have to plan ahead as much.
The legal system is devestating on men in a divorce and I really don't want to go back to square one yet again... you have all heard about it from your divorced friends... it could never happen to you... could it? After all..., you have the only good one... not like all those others.
I have been married (several times) and I am single... Some very good times when I was married... I have even said the same things some of you are saying... I was wrong. I am far happier now.
My relationships with women are truly as you describe now... we really are friends and enjoy each others company... when we don't... we can go to our sepperate houses.
I have car parts and gun parts all over the house... I can tear out a wall or rip up a bathroom to tile it... When I come home most nights it is to an empty house... I can relax. I forgot what that really was each time I was married after a while. I became acclimated and brainwashed..
lazs
Kinda bitter about it Laz?
I guess it's safe to say that not all of us are cut from the same cloth. I love being a Dad too. I never saw that as my wife's job. If you did, I'd say you missed out on a great deal as being a part of my kids growing up was the most important thing I've ever done.
Losing 2 of my 3 kids has been the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me. Again, without my wife I don't know if I'd have survived it, and it's an ongoing struggle to keep going from it.
It's interesting that you question whether those of us in good marriages are actually seeing them for what they are. I do commend you for acknowledging your part in your relationships not working. Not all of us are built that way. I think for me it was watching my parents relationship. They had a great marriage right until the cancer took my Dad. And no they didn't fight. They made sure to talk things out though and there was a mutual respect and support there that was obvious to see, and I know I took that into my marriage.
We're not fighters either. I have one rule for me when I'm mad about something. Does it really have to do with the other person, or is it just me being selfish and cranky. 99% of the time it's just that and once I look at it, the anger disappears. When we disagree we talk it out. In the end its about us going forward together, and i wouldn't want it any other way.
She is my best friend.
25 in and looking forward to the next 25.
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Originally posted by eskimo2
AWMac,
Your wife is a sushi chef? In a restaurant, or at home?
Just when I though my wife was perfect… hmm.
Both
:D
Mac
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Originally posted by storch
so mac are these beautiful children yours or did she give them to you after getting them from someone else?
Storch all three are from me to her... should I draw you some pictures on how this works?
Sit down a minute Son... first there is a Daddy Bee and a Mommy Flower....
Pay attention... I might loose you soon....
:D
Mac
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Originally posted by eskimo2
So, does being married several times make someone an expert on successful marriage, or…?
Don't know... what do yer other wives say?
~Touche~
Mac
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Originally posted by republic
I think to have a good marriage you have to learn first, to fight well. Those married people who say they never fight...are either lying or...one of them is being run over.
I have to vehemently disagree there. It is about respect. My Wife and I have been together for over 13 years and have never had a fight. Never raised our voices to each other.
We both respect each other. We both acknowledge each other may have a different perspective on any given situation. Most importantly, we are each other's best friends. We both know we are the only ones we can count on for complete honesty. We both learned that type of honesty is very hard to find but is needed in order to have a good life.
Lastly, we make each other laugh.
I know it is unusual. This is my fourth marriage. All the previous marriages have been wought with anger, frustration, and general mayhem. I would have called those normal marriages. But what I have now is something pretty damn special, maybe a bit unique as well. I know I would never trade for it. I also know there is no way in hell I would ever have it again if she was gone.
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Honestly... I do believe that it is different for everyone but that there are some hard and fast rules.
eskimo.. I am not nor have I ever claimed to be an expert on relationships... except what works for me.. and that took many decades of trial and error...
yep.. trial and error... some that seemed perfect were not... some that seemed hopeless were/are.. pretty good. You are correct in saying that a dozen or so failed relationships does not make me an expert.. people who know me know that it is not a good idea to ask me about relationships... it is fairly smart to ask me what to do when the end is near tho.
All of you... no matter how good your relationship... stash some money.. what you can afford... in cash and equal to about a month or so wages. Don't tell anyone about it and don't be tempted to use it while married no matter what.
When it goes bad... try to strike a deal before the lawyers get involved... appeal to her fairness before "fairness" get's redefined for her in such a way that you would not believe...
I admit to liking more privacy than a lot of people... While some things may be enhanced by sharing... often, it is good to do things on your own.
I don't think fighting with friends or lovers is a great thing... I see no point.. I think I am right and they think they are. A fight is just one or another person wanting to impose their will on the other... I don't want friends like that and I sure don't want to sleep with a woman who is trying to control me.
boiled down.. marriage these days is a legal contract that can be broken at a whim... literaly... it is also one that has some of the most severe finacial penalties of any contract ever devised. It's a bad deal if you look at it that way... you almost have to either be cold blooded cynical (prenupt) or starry eyed romantic to even think of entering into it.
lazs
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Nope.
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Like in many things, not everyone is "cut out" to be married.
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My first marriage was a disaster. After 4 years we went our separate ways. Since then, she's been through another marriage and several engagements. She's still miserable.
Me, I waited 8 years to remarry. This second chance has been wonderful. 14 years with nary a disagreement. Raised two step-daughters (both adults now, both well adjusted and happy).
Besides, how many wives buy their husband an H&K G3 for their birthday?
Forrest Gump described it best... "Just like peas and carrots."
My regards,
Widewing
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Given how many times I see "Wife ack" related comments on the forum and 200, I'm surprised to see how many seemingly great marriages there are here.
The majority of 'testimonies' here are fairly, if not very, encouraging.
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Been with the current Mrs MT for 15 years or so, but we just got married last year. So I guess the answer would be yes, I'd marry again. Women seem to improve me, and they are nice to have around.
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In my opinion it takes a few things to have a successful marriage:
* First of all, you must be marriage material yourself. This means that you are: mature, a good communicator, fair and willing to compromise, emotionally stable/not mental, addiction free, non-violent, honest and naturally faithful. You must also value and believe in marriage for life; you must be willing to work at it and make your marriage your highest priority. The list could probably go on a bit more…
- If you are not fair, resort to violence or are mental, it will probably wreck any marriage no matter how good of a spouse you choose.
* Second, you must be able to recognize and value these qualities in a mate. Love is not enough on its own. The fact that someone might have some exceptional and outstanding qualities also is not enough on its own to guarantee a successful marriage.
- If you choose someone who is an addict, poor communicator or is naturally unfaithful, it will probably wreck your marriage no matter how good of a spouse you are.
* Lastly, it does take a bit of luck. None of us knows for sure that we or our mates will retain all of these qualities. Marriage is a leap of faith; if you are smart about it, however, it can be an educated leap of faith.
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all you need to have in a successful marriage or any other successful relationship is to be mindful of the other person's needs and to treat that other person as you expect to be treated, better yet to treat that other as if that person were yourself. it doesn't take long to figure anyone out, we all have tells.
if you have been through mulitple marriages you will probably find the problem in any mirror.
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Originally posted by storch
if you have been through mulitple marriages you will probably find the problem in any mirror.
There are also many good people who would make a good spouse, but their fatal flaw when it comes to marriage is choosing the wrong person; someone who will surely wreck any marriage.
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Originally posted by storch
if you have been through mulitple marriages you will probably find the problem in any mirror.
As someone who is on his fourth marriage, I think I qualify to state this is pretty true. If you put your faith in the wrong person, or marry to be happy, then you are doing it all wrong. I did everything you could do wrong, but I learned as I went along. I was not brought up in a healthy family environment. That only taught me what I did not want.
Finally got it right though.
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
My Wife and I have been together for over 13 years and have never had a fight. Never raised our voices to each other.
That is amazing!
My wife and I found each other at 18, so we had several years of "growing up" before the arguments cooled down. They were always over silly...almost embarrasingly silly things.
During the first few years, especially for the younger couples, learning to fight cleanly is very important, imo. So many young couples today simply give up because things get rocky...
The older we get, the fewer "disagreements" we have but...no matter the disagreement...it's always over before we slip between the sheets.
There's nothing like the feeling that comes from knowing that your wife is on your side, standing with you, through heaven and hell....
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Originally posted by storch
all you need to have in a successful marriage or any other successful relationship is to be mindful of the other person's needs and to treat that other person as you expect to be treated, better yet to treat that other as if that person were yourself. it doesn't take long to figure anyone out, we all have tells.
if you have been through mulitple marriages you will probably find the problem in any mirror.
Disagree very much here!!!!!!!!!!
Some can SEEM like they will make it work. They can SEEM like they will try, will make every effort.
Then not long after the papers are signed they change.
Gets hard to be mindful and respectful of the other when it is NOT returned toward yourself or the members of your part of the family.
If there is bagage from her previous relationship BEWARE!
She could be holding ALLOT in! If she is really angery, she could decide that someone MUST pay for what was done to her.
It will probably be YOU!
You have never offered violence, always tried to talk calmly, made every effort to make it work.
You aren't a threat! It's like she KNOWS you won't do anything to her (and she's right). So she can safely take out all the emotional bagage she has and dump it on YOU.
You can even try a consultant/social worker/advisor/counsoler ..........
You can do EVERYTHING right and still LOSE!
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some of you are getting a tad defensive. It was not meant to say what is better or worse...
I will note tho that very few would get married again for whatever reason... some would be relived and others simply say that they are lucky and would not get so lucky again.
I also note that the married people are doing things that they would never do if they were single... sometimes this is good and sometimes bad... I may have too much freedom if that is possible.. there is a theory that men need tempering... I don't buy it but...
Also..raising children.. it is best to stick together as long as the kids are being raised... after that it matters little... It is nice that my son can come to my house and we can enjoy the time doing things we enjoy without a mom in the way.
While he was being raised... it was better to get both views and to learn things I couldn't teach...he can cook... I can't for instance.
lazs
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Originally posted by eskimo2
There are also many good people who would make a good spouse, but their fatal flaw when it comes to marriage is choosing the wrong person; someone who will surely wreck any marriage.
very true. I have an aquaintance who has been married once and was only married briefly before the marriage unravalled.
he has not remarried since, furthermore he says he has remained celibate for better than twenty years. during a wee hour heart to heart after much drinking he explained some of the ugly details of events that occurred during his brief marriage. he blamed no one for the failure and I never knew his former wife.
I suggested that he try that eharmony.com thing at which time he told me he took the test and they politely refused to allow him into the data base.
while he seems like a decent, sociable person but who knows what he is really like to live with. upon reflection I asked my wife and other ladies what they thought of this guy as partnership/love interest material and to a lady they made the turned up nose "that fish smells rotten" face.
you have to walk into a relationship with both eyes open, as I stated earlier people are pretty easy to figure out we all have tells.
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I don't think I could ever find someone like my current wife again so my answer is no I can say with almost 100% certainty that I would not remarry.
callgirlsarecheapernayway
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Originally posted by AWMac
... With age comes Maturity...
Not for everybody, unfortunately.
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Originally posted by Yeager
if I suddenly became single I would never enter into another contract that denied me all the fruits of the grove. I man is a seedmaker and he needs all the fields he can get his plow into.
I man is a seedmaker and he needs all the fields he can get his plow into
In the top consideration for sig material!!!
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Originally posted by lazs2
some of you are getting a tad defensive. It was not meant to say what is better or worse...
Fair to say that if any women , including my woman were to read some
of the more gooee stuf in this thread and compare it
to us guys that don't cry , lazs gets the blame .
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Originally posted by lazs2
Would get married again if your wife left you now? Mav said I should start a topic on this rather than hijack. It seem worth a thread..
How many of you watch chick flicks because you want to be with your wife at the movies and that is what she wants to watch?
How many of you listen to what your wife has to say on politics or let her affect your vote?
How much compromise in your life is because you are married?
lazs
\
1) Probably not.
2) Yes, watch chick flix with wife just to spend time with her. We could be watching a sunset, talking on the deck, or hanging out on the couch for all I care. Quality time ROX. Lose quality time=slowly grow apart.
3) She would never affect my vote, however I will listen to what she says on any subject because we both enjoy each others company and respect each others views. She only knows what happens in the solace of the ballot box if I choose to tell her.
4) Married life is FULL of compromise and sacrifice. If I were single, I wouldn't have to compromise at all. Of course I would have missed out on 24 pretty awesome years (with the same woman) and my high school sweetie.
Good luck dude!
Talk--be honest---then talk some more.
Be one of the ones who MAKE it last!
68ROX
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well... I have been married and I have been not married.
Looking at it from the perspective of not being married I have a very hard time seeing the advantage of being married.. of being joined at the hip all day long.. making love to the same woman past the point it is still interesting. watching chick fliks or compromise.
I am older tho and know myself better... I also am past child rearing age which to me.. is the only reason to be married that makes sense.
I can see the advantantage of being single... Women trying to "improve" me I can just ignore. sex is sometimes more frequent and sometimes less but overall.. more interesting.
more time for hobbies and exploring new things... not any new things but new things that I want to try.
More quality time around people I want to be around.
lazs
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Great wife, but one is enough. Of course, many other men have said the same thing.
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I am glad for those of you who are happy or even think they are in their marriage.
I simply have found that once it is over and a few years have passed that I have a different perspective of what was happening in it... I see this in every divorced man I have known.
A death is different...
I am perhaps selfish and shallow... I have certainly been accused of it by more than a few women (who I felt were very shallow and selfish themselves).
I think that too many women think that we are just big women who behave badly... They also think that we should welcome being molded.
It appears that some of you do enjoy being molded into "better" (for lack of a better word) people.
lazs
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Most of the divorced guys were in a bad situation, one way or another. They probably are better off not married. Divorced people are generally better off divorced.
Many married guys will never divorce, however. Most of these guys are not in a bad situation. They were single before they were married and they recall what that was like. They know that they are better off married. Married people are generally better off married.
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Judge Judy: Mr. Laz, you are charged with inciting rebellion and thoughts prejudicial to good order. Have you anything to say on your behalf?
lazs2: Well, I --
Judge Judy: Just as I thought, guilty as charged! Have you anything to say before I impose sentence?
lazs2: Well, I --
Judge Judy: 20 years or life, whichever is longer, in holy matrimony with Rosy O'Donnell. No possibility of parole. Have you anything to say before "I do"?
lazs2: I don't.
Judge Judy: Then God have mercy on your solo, and watch your six.
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Originally posted by Halo
Judge Judy: Mr. Laz, you are charged with inciting rebellion and thoughts prejudicial to good order. Have you anything to say on your behalf?
lazs2: Well, I --
Judge Judy: Just as I thought, guilty as charged! Have you anything to say before I impose sentence?
lazs2: Well, I --
Judge Judy: 20 years or life, whichever is longer, in holy matrimony with Rosy O'Donnell. No possibility of parole. Have you anything to say before "I do"?
lazs2: I don't.
Judge Judy: Then God have mercy on your solo, and watch your six.
Do it Lazs,
Then divorce her and get half of her stuff and your own stupid talk show.
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I would point out that "judge judy" is not a judge at all but simply a loud mouthed woman who plays a part.
I would not be around her... I don't have to. I try to not be around people who I don't like or who have nothing interesting to add to my life.
I am glad that I have been married because....
First and foremost... it gave me children and I think that is an experiance that is not only very important in a humans life but... needs to be within the confines of marriage.
It also gave me perspective. It helped form who I am. In a "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" kind of way.
I see the men that my exes have married... they claim to be very happy... They are doing things they don't want to do..
I think that being single before you were married is not really "being single and being married" You almost have to be married and then divorced to see what I am talking about... at the very least... you need to have been in relationships and then gotten married later in life to have perspective.
Marrying a high school sweetheart or being married all of your adult life is not perspective.
lazs
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This definitely is neither Oprah or Dr. Phil -- all these posts and not one mention of soul mate.
No, it's beyond John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara too.
More like Robert Duvall in Lonesome Dove.
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I am just pointing out the obvious.
Many men can live with comprimise. They use it to get something else they want. For me.. the reward does not equal the suffering. As years go by.. this is even more so unless you change into someone that you are not.
The reason for my failed marriages, in retrospect, was that I was unwilling to pretend to be someone else and... worst of all... I was able to see when I was being "nudged" in that direction. I always resented it no matter what the outcome.. you do not want to be around me when I resent something..
I heard somewhere that women believe that men are just big hairy women that are behaving badly... they don't realize that men are men and their behavior is correct.. for men. They simply feel that with a little "help" these hairy women can get back on the right track.
If they do get you to turn into a woman they can't figure out why they have no interest in you anymore and start looking at real men.
lazs
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I cannot blame laz for feeling the way he feels. I think any man from California has good reason to feel that way.
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I think the word we are looking for, and resent, is
m a n i p u l a t i o n
Funny it starts with man.
I think women are born manipulators. Not a derogatory term, just factual. Probably because they generally are smaller and weaker than comparable males.
This really sunk in one day when my oldest daughter was about 10. She knows I don't like loud radio in the car while driving. So from the back seat I hear, "Hey Dad, is that a clarinet on the radio?"
As an amateur clarinet player, I quickly turned up the volume for an instant before realizing I was had by a 10-year-old girl.
Then I got to thinking how women are very good at presenting many of their demands through questions based on male vulnerabilities.
I guess it's all a matter of playing our strengths against others' weaknesses, and women seem much better at that than men are. Then again, sometimes all we have to do is grunt and ignore them. Victory has many different faces.
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Originally posted by Halo
I think the word we are looking for, and resent, is
m a n i p u l a t i o n
Funny it starts with man.
I think women are born manipulators.
Good thing my Wife does not read this board. Maybe women appear that way as most men give them no other choice?
My Wife certainly is not a manipulator. We would not be together if she was.
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Oh.. I understand that I give women no other choice than manipulation... I am very straight forward in telling them what is acceptable to me and what is not.... They do not understand the word "no" tho.
They take it to mean that I need to be manipulated for my own good. I have a very low threshold for this.
It is not "cute"...
lazs
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Originally posted by lazs2
Oh.. I understand that I give women no other choice than manipulation... I am very straight forward in telling them what is acceptable to me and what is not.... They do not understand the word "no" tho.
They take it to mean that I need to be manipulated for my own good. I have a very low threshold for this.
It is not "cute"...
lazs
I HEAR YOU SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone else SEEMs to agree..............
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/03/23/feminism-destroying-america/
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
Good thing my Wife does not read this board. Maybe women appear that way as most men give them no other choice?
Give women a choice???????? :confused:
You start that and the next thing you know they will be whining and asking to vote......................... .........or at the very least wanting to ride up front in the pickup. :)
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(http://robotman.cracked.com/img/NY/vote.jpg)
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Never,
But let me explain, Ive got five kids and so far two grandchildren. I wouldnt change a thing and in my wildest dreams we grow old together and pass it on to the kids. But if anything ever happens to her god forbid, I just couldnt see myself being with anyone else, it truly was love at first site and still is every morning when I see her wake up next to me.
Chick flicks, if its a good movie Ill watch it
Politics, I respect her opinion in all matters, have to, she just has to much common sense not to.
Compromise, when you decide to share your life with someone its not a compromising situation its sharing situation.
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One of the more interesting examples of guys changing radically for their wives is Lee Strobel, the journalist whose wife's becoming a Christian caused him to "investigate" Christianity and eventually become a prolific author of such pro Christian books as The Case for a Creator.
If interested in more details, just Google for Lee Strobel and you'll find a wealth of material, including supporters and detractors.
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what people seem to discount is that in any human social interaction we are both influencing and being influenced by the people we interact with. even if you disagree with the person's position on any given issue, if you are paying attention you will be influenced. if you aren't then there is something wrong with you.
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Originally posted by storch
what people seem to discount is that in any human social interaction we are both influencing and being influenced by the people we interact with. even if you disagree with the person's position on any given issue, if you are paying attention you will be influenced. if you aren't then there is something wrong with you.
That's it Storch!!!!
Marry me and you'll be the Happiest Bride evar!!!!
:O
:rofl
Mac
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yep... we would all be happier if women could be women and men had the strength to make sure that they were.
These days.. I find that women are trying to be men and men are trying to be more like women... This type of behavior is considered the hight of sensitivity and fairness in blue areas of the country.
There are no good chick flics...
Women don't have good ideas on politics... even the best of em, if you listen long enough, interject estrogen into the politics. Many men are no better tho these days.. they have been feminized so far as politics. security above freedom.
young.. no, almost all white American women are pretty much a lost cause. They want to turn the men into women and then whine about there being no real men left.
lazs
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I am no PhD in psychology, but I think a lot of people never completely shed their instincts from early age..
Most of the wimpy (openly or not) people I know seem to be in some degree or other of denial (or on their way out of it) that their time in mama's womb is over.. perpetually lost in need for it and/or fancying various false substitutes for it.
Never replacing that crap with truth and reason.
we would all be happier if women could be women
That's almost exactly as I think of it.. I have met only a few girls and women that seemed to be on the path to being absolutely true to themselves, of making no compromises to what they want for themselves.
I wouldn't want to live with someone who most wanted anything else than that.
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yep... I look at the divorced women who are in management postitions and they all seem to bemoan the fact that they can't find a decent man. Yet... when I deal with them it is like dealing with a man... A very anal and petulant and uncomprimising and illogical man but.. a man none the less... I know I would not want to be in their bed and home.
I can't imagine how a woman would want to be with a man who worried as much about his hair and perfume and clothes and makeup as they do.. who would watch chic flics and weep for no reason. Who would buckle under any pressure even when he thought he was right or.. espouse womanly ideas about securtity... A man who would not learn to shoot and would not kill to defend himself or them.
A man who would lock himself in his room when a burglar came and call the police for them to send out a woman cop to take care of the problem...
lazs
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'Til death do us part was a vow my wife and I both take seriously. Would either of us remarry in the event one of us dies? Hard to say. A recent tragedy makes it less likely than before I think.
Life is full of compromise though and you can compromise without giving up your values and principles.
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I don't mean anything machiavellian, just personal goals like everyone has.
Tolerance for unhapiness, for example, is usually bad news to come, in my experience.
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Lots of interesting points in this thread, but a main positive one that sometimes gets overshadowed is the bliss of loving someone more than yourself, being so attracted and mesmerized by another being that you would do anything for her or him.
Ideally that would be reciprocated, although as my wise momma once told me early in life, long before I realized what it meant, "One loves and the other is loved," meaning, "One member of a couple always loves more than the other one."
That may be true but I have always resisted examining that in any detail because one illusion I need to keep is the possibility of two people absolutely loving each other beyond all else (dunno what that means, but shur sounds purty).
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halo, that does exist and can exist in any relationship. to have a friend one must first be a friend. some people reciprocate in kind. the adage that birds of a feather flock together also applies in a positive sense.
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the beast known as unconditional love.
women are prone to it due to their gathering and nurturing nature, for men it often comes with the birth of a child, some people never get it.
storch is somewhat right tho, in life, you usually get what you are.
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"unconditional love"? if that is the definition of women then how would you explain that 90% or better of all divorces are filled by women?
When I give my word I do my best to keep it. Nothing wrong with that but... You can't always do so. A marriage contract involves two people..
The intentions of the honorable one are not important if the other one doesn't care. Or... if they simply find something they like better. It is not much so far as contracts go... one of the most frivolous ones out there... no one faults someone for breaking it. No one says "so and so left the marriage.. they are a dishonest person not to be trusted".
lazs
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Originally posted by lazs2
"unconditional love"? if that is the definition of women then how would you explain that 90% or better of all divorces are filled by women?
When I give my word I do my best to keep it. Nothing wrong with that but... You can't always do so. A marriage contract involves two people..
The intentions of the honorable one are not important if the other one doesn't care. Or... if they simply find something they like better. It is not much so far as contracts go... one of the most frivolous ones out there... no one faults someone for breaking it. No one says "so and so left the marriage.. they are a dishonest person not to be trusted".
lazs
LOL I keep wondering why you are so intent on convincing those of us in good marriages that we're being decieved, lied to, manipulated and the like.
I also wonder why you care? You clearly are content with your situation. Can't I be content with mine?
It's almost like you are feeling guilty for your marriage attempts not working.
If there is one thing you've made clear in your posts on anything Laz, it's that you are absolute in your opinions and beliefs and there is no other answer in your mind, or that if there is another answer it's wrong :)
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well... lets just say that any other answer is wrong for me... at this time.
People evolve... as they evolve they change their minds about things.
I am not trying to make you unhappy. I am trying to see the other side to the thing. I know where my experiance has taken me... I want to see what made others take a different path.
Believe it or not... I am very glad you are happy. I hope you stay married so long as you are happy and that it is forever.
My current girlfriend would love it if you could convince me that I should marry again but...
There are no good chick flicks and it does not make me happy to give up things.. or pretend to be something I am not.
This thread has not done much to let me see the other side.
I realize that people are different and after reading the replies... I am more convinced that I am not suited for marriage.
I was a little taken aback by how defensive some of the things I said made people.
lazs
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yup lazs you are correct, some folks should never marry.
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Originally posted by lazs2
"unconditional love"? if that is the definition of women then how would you explain that 90% or better of all divorces are filled by women?
When I give my word I do my best to keep it. Nothing wrong with that but... You can't always do so. A marriage contract involves two people..
lazs
So who ended each of your marriages? Did your wife(s) file each time? Were they in the least bit mutually agreed upon? Who would you say was to blame? Did you want the divorce or to remain married at the time(s)?
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Originally posted by Halo
Lots of interesting points in this thread, but a main positive one that sometimes gets overshadowed is the bliss of loving someone more than yourself, being so attracted and mesmerized by another being that you would do anything for her or him.
Ideally that would be reciprocated, although as my wise momma once told me early in life, long before I realized what it meant, "One loves and the other is loved," meaning, "One member of a couple always loves more than the other one."
That may be true but I have always resisted examining that in any detail because one illusion I need to keep is the possibility of two people absolutely loving each other beyond all else (dunno what that means, but shur sounds purty).
Good post. and in my experience your momma is truely a wise woman.
You can also add to that . "the person who cares the least about a relationship is the one that has the majority of control."
Its rare two people love each other absolutely at the same level.
It does happen. I've seen it. But it by far not the norm.
While not exclusively
Typically that kind of relationship doesnt include children in the equasion.
I've come to the conclusion the only absolute love is that a parent feels for his or her child. Usually women moreso then men.
As far as a womans love for a man is concerned.
I've learned what a wise man once told me.
"Never trust anything that can bleed for 7 days and not die."
Women in general are at best inconsistant. And they are damn good at it.
They weild it like a champion swordsman using every move at their disposal to get what they want. Often at mens expence
If you want absolute dependability and undying loyalty to you. Get a dog
If you want to be driven absolutely bonkers and live your live as if you were in a neverending 6 dimentional maze. Fall in love with a woman.
Two popular John Wayne quotes about summerise women
"Women. I havent met one yet that was half as reliable as a horse"
"I taught you what to do when the snow comes, how to survive in a blizzard. And, I taught you how to deal with men, but women, nobody knows what's on a woman's mind."
the reason they are popular. Just like any good comedy.
they are based in truth
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Originally posted by Guppy35
LOL I keep wondering why you are so intent on convincing those of us in good marriages that we're being decieved, lied to, manipulated and the like.
Cause odds are you are.
You just havent figured it out yet
Havent met the person yet that prior to figuring it out didnt think they were doing ok.
:p
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Originally posted by Skuzzy
Good thing my Wife does not read this board. Maybe women appear that way as most men give them no other choice?
My Wife certainly is not a manipulator. We would not be together if she was.
You kidding.
Even my wife admits and will say that most women are manipulators.
Often it isnt about not being given any other choice.
But just to make sure they get exactly what they wanted.
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eskimo... like the majority of men in divorces mine were instigated by the woman. I did feel that since I had children in each that we should try to stick it out till they got older and... I felt that I did make a promise.. I believe that the kids felt we made a promise and that we let them down. I don't blame them for that.
the wives married someone almost at once after the divorce.. the person was about a perfect opposite of me. none of their marriages lasted more than a couple of years... since then they have found new ones and have settled for less control and maybe realize that perfect is not possible.
I really don't see any point to it anymore.. I do have a girlfriend that is going on 5 years... she has left me twice and come back.. she lives 60 miles away and I see her on weekends.. that is perfect for me... she is a very tolerant woman of mexican decent.. kind, honest, clean and kinky and a very good cook.. I am very fond of her and will miss her when she leaves for good.
She is an all around good person.
lazs
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Absolute proof that I did well in my marriage happened today Laz.
Wife came home from the antique store where she was looking for stuff for a project she's working on.
What does she have in her hand for me? Somehow she'd spotted a photo in a box of unrelated photos that she knew I'd like. Spit 14 picture, and even more so it appears to be a 41 Squadron bird too. I've researched 41 for the last 25 years because of the Spit XII.
That she'd even spot a Spit pic all of 2" x 2" in the middle of a box of photos in Minnesota no less tells me she's right for me :)
(http://www.onpoi.net/ah/pics/users/169_1175122596_spit14.jpg)
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guppy... that is great but... Frioday I took my girlfriends truck to best buy and bought a 42" plasma TV that was probly not needed as much as some other things around the house.... I wanted it tho.
I have friends send me stuff too.. Dad gave me a comic book on WWII aviation from 1943.
I hope you remain happy till the end of your days... really do.
lazs