Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: midnight Target on March 17, 2007, 12:24:15 PM

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: midnight Target on March 17, 2007, 12:24:15 PM

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated
a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this
would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my
capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: Wes14 on March 17, 2007, 12:26:14 PM

:huh

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: lasersailor184 on March 17, 2007, 01:00:15 PM

That's really funny.

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: Speed55 on March 17, 2007, 01:01:25 PM

That's pretty funny. :lol

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: Maverick on March 17, 2007, 01:38:39 PM

An oldie but funny.  :lol

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: nirvana on March 17, 2007, 01:52:03 PM

:lol :aok

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: Irwink! on March 17, 2007, 02:00:28 PM

That was great! :rofl

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: Yoshimbo on March 17, 2007, 08:39:18 PM

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :aok

Title: Dog Diary - Cat Diary
Post by: eskimo2 on March 17, 2007, 08:55:03 PM

I didn't think dog's could write...