Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: M36 on May 02, 2007, 08:20:06 PM
-
I couldn't resist. More email messages floating around:
A Sad Parallel
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week I had hundreds of birds
taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests
in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table. everywhere.
Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And other birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and
demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore.
I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and removed the many nests they had
built all around the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here
to be a citizen automatically. Then the illegal's came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services;
small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class
is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one"
to hear my bank speak to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets,
demanding more rights and free liberties.
Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
-
I don't like birds either.
-
I think we should be able to shoot birds that come over the fence.
-
Originally posted by eagl
I think we should be able to shoot birds that come over the fence.
I concur!
-
Agreed
-
Originally posted by eagl
I think we should be able to shoot birds that come over the fence.
soilent green?
-
Can we shoot the birds posting junk emails?
-
Well with the new law inacted in TX after Sept 1st we can shoot the ones who we feel threaten our lives. I say that I feel threatened by all of them and we should just start taking advantage of the new law. Open season on illegals come Sept. 1 WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!
-
the problem lies in the fact the birds you are comparing the average gov handout ho slug have much larger brains and greater motivation than their human counterparts in your example
-
I remember one time working in a building with a large covered parking area. The ceiling was sprayed with a foam sealent and birds would burrow into the foam to make nests and just make a big mess generally. Then one morning, heading into the building from the covered parking, I saw a small pickup truct filled with little birdhouses...I walked over to see what this was all about, on each little birdhouse was painted a little red skull and crossbones....
No more bird problem.
-
Originally posted by eagl
I think we should be able to shoot birds that come over the fence.
You mean you don't?!?!?!?!?! :confused: :confused:
:p
-
Grasshopper and the Ant story, revisited:
*OLD VERSION*:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
************************************************** **********
*MODERN VERSION:*
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
Where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome.
" Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
Call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
House, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize
The once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be VERY careful how you vote!!
-
stupid birds :furious
-
You forgot to mention the Slug... Micheal Moore.
The Dung Beetles, Bill and Hillary.
The evil liberial wasp Nancy Pelosi.
The Swamp Rats Jesse and Al...
and the cast of thousands that are so anxious on the demise of America.
I could go on, but you get the picture.
Mac