Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Gunslinger on May 28, 2007, 03:05:03 PM
-
Ok I need just a little advice on divorce and Property sale.
I made my future ex-wife an offer she couldn't refuse. She knows she can't afford this house and I can. I want to keep it because I don't want some sweetheartbag living in the house that I bought and paid for over the last year.
SHe's looking at rentals and at getting a mobile on some land. She needs money for that.
I have money that I borrowed that she is not entitled to (it came from my parents) that I offered her. It was orriginally what I was going to use to retain a lawyer. Now we are agreeing on everything and putting it in writing no less. The divorce and everything else is going to be uncontested.
Here's my dilema. I told her I'd give her that money on the stipulation that she uses it to "establish a new residence" NOT retain a lawyer herself. She's been pretty forthright with me but I still don't completly trust her. I KNOW she needs the money for the house she is looking at. I told her that I'd give her that money for her half of the house. She would be giving up any claim or title to it and any future profits or debts that get incurred from future sales.
THe problem I'm running into is this is part of the settlement that we are coming to an agreement on. I don't want to give her the money until the she signs the decree.
The other problem is she hasn't moved out and probably wont move out for another 6 weeks. What if things go bad and we stop agreeing on things?
My solution is a signed and notarized contractual agreement of her selling the half of the house to me and her waiving all rights to it. The problem I see though is would that hold up in court were as texas is a community property state? Or would I be better off getting a marraige sepration agreement (wich can later be added to the decree)
I see all sorts of things that can go wrong here and I'm nervous about giving her the money until we file.
-
In AZ. all she would have to do is sign a quit claim deed to drop her interest in the house.
As far as giving her money is concerned you can approach it by offering to write the check for the down payment on the property when she finds it. That way it goes to the property purchase directly from you.
What are you doing about custody of the kids and visitation? Money and property are fairly straight forward but the kids and child support can be a back breaker for you if not set up properly and set on paper authorized by a court.
-
Originally posted by Maverick
In AZ. all she would have to do is sign a quit claim deed to drop her interest in the house.
As far as giving her money is concerned you can approach it by offering to write the check for the down payment on the property when she finds it. That way it goes to the property purchase directly from you.
What are you doing about custody of the kids and visitation? Money and property are fairly straight forward but the kids and child support can be a back breaker for you if not set up properly and set on paper authorized by a court.
I actually just signed up for service from Lawdepot.com
It's basically a forms sight that gives me access to specific forms that I can print I just printed out an MSA that I typed up and she's reading it over. There's nothing Different that what we've allready discussed.
-
just toss her into the gloop from the gloppada gloppada machine problem solved
-
Don't you have a legal counsel on base you can ask? Going the DIY route can backfire bigtime, especially when children are involved. There are things like Child Support that have to be done to the court's approval. You have to pay any child support thru the state or it's not child support, it's a gift. Judges do not like the "tell me how to do it right" game. That's what law schools are for.
If you give her money before the divorce is signed, she can do what ever she wants with it, including sandbagging you. If anything I'd suggest sandbagging her and hiring a lawyer to write it up, then present it to her as if you did it yourself. That way you KNOW your interests are protected and she's none the wiser.
If you do not look out for #1, nobody will.
-
GET. A. LAWYER.
Otherwise, you're going to get screwed.
Even if it's someone you can just ask questions, retain a lawyer. A real lawyer is going to be 2000% better than asking some random people on a website bulletin board.
-
You need a REAL lawyer, not someone who plays one on an Internet BBS.
Seriously, you are in SERIOUS legal danger. Get a good lawyer that specializes in divorces, and gets good results, ask the legal staff on the base, they'll know. Do not let this woman destroy your life.
Further, as much as you want to be nice, and keep things civil, DO NOT trust this woman. She has proven she is NOT worthy of your trust. Do not forget that this woman went out intentionally and found your replacement. There's no such thing as "I wasn't looking", or "I didn't mean for this to happen". As much as you'd like for that to be true, this is the real world, and it just ain't true. She went looking, for whatever reason. NEVER forget that. Do not let that define your life, but make sure it defines your relationship with her, from now on.
-
If she cheated on you, GET A LAWYER. No if's, and's or but's. Protect yourself, your children and your future.
-
Originally posted by Captain Virgil Hilts
Do not forget that this woman went out intentionally and found your replacement. There's no such thing as "I wasn't looking", or "I didn't mean for this to happen". As much as you'd like for that to be true, this is the real world, and it just ain't true. She went looking, for whatever reason. NEVER forget that. Do not let that define your life, but make sure it defines your relationship with her, from now on.
Quoted for truthiness and emphasisity.
-
Guns,
Listen to the posts here, and get a lawyer RIGHT NOW!
Even if you think you can't afford it, there are plenty of lawyers that will give you a free consultation. Don't do it yourself, don't be your own attorney and write the papers up yourself. Try to put the emotions down for another time and focus on your children, yourself, and assets.
How do I know? I'm going through a divorce right now. My situation is exactly like yours, except I've got all the proof that she was cheating on me. And let me tell you, my (soon to be ex) wife has absolutely no problems lying to anyone about the situation. Especially all the flat lies to my face in the past months. If she has found someone else and has acted upon it, then she has already been planning things out for a LONG TIME.
Get a lawyer, and PM me if you'd like to talk. Hang in there, be strong for yourchild and yourself, and get to the gym to release the stress.
Red Dog
-
Originally posted by Captain Virgil Hilts
You need a REAL lawyer, not someone who plays one on an Internet BBS.
Seriously, you are in SERIOUS legal danger. Get a good lawyer that specializes in divorces, and gets good results, ask the legal staff on the base, they'll know. Do not let this woman destroy your life.
Further, as much as you want to be nice, and keep things civil, DO NOT trust this woman. She has proven she is NOT worthy of your trust. Do not forget that this woman went out intentionally and found your replacement. There's no such thing as "I wasn't looking", or "I didn't mean for this to happen". As much as you'd like for that to be true, this is the real world, and it just ain't true. She went looking, for whatever reason. NEVER forget that. Do not let that define your life, but make sure it defines your relationship with her, from now on.
Quoted again . Go to the base legal office, get advise and recommendations there. They're only a phone call away...
-
Guns,
Do not give her any money, go see either a lawyer, or a have a paralegal draw up the forms. No properties or any other items transfer hands unless a Marrital Seperation Agreement is entered into the courts and signed by both parties, and 99% of the time, nothing ever changes hands until the judge agrees that it is a fair seperation.
In my divorce, I tried to be amicable, but it did not end up working out that way, now I am paying her money that I never should have had I gotten an attorney...
-
went through a divorce about 4 years ago now. We agreed on most everything and I let her have most everything. I was an idiot to do that. The woman was cheating on me and I played the nice guy. She will screw you in ways you never thought of. Get a lawyer now and put your boot on her throat.
-
Legal Advice Part II: The Ignoring
Holy crap Guns why do you keep coming here asking for advice and then totally ignoring it? Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful...you're a freaking uniter man. Libruals, neo-cons, bible thumpers, atheistis, morons, dolts, jeanius, gun-nuts, gun-control bots, pro-lifers, pro-choices...have all told you to get a freaking lawyer, and you have ignored them all.
-
Guns,
I sent you a PM. Please let me help you avoid this train wreck. If nothing else I can get you in touch with a lawyer who might at least be able to convince you to retain another lawyer. I really don't know what else to do, but it creeps me out to watch you walking into a pool of sharks while wearing a tunafish vest.
Anyhow, send me a PM
-Sik
-
[thinking to self]
Hmm...How much does a good Hit Man cost nowadays?
[/thinking to self]
-
Gunslinger, be careful with these 'signed agreements' so much of the time they can be completely dismissed if she gets lawyers on her side.
The suggestion made by someone to pay for the down-payment of her new house yourself by check seems to be very wise
-
Guns,
Here's another site for you to check out (especially the "find a lawyer" section!)
http://www.lanwt.org/txaccess/welcome.asp
The sponsoring site is "Legal Aid of Northwest Texas" which does not have offices in San Antonio (San Angelo is as close as they get), but the information should still be helpful.
-Sik
-
I have yet to run across a divorce lawyer that has handled his own divorce and they know what they are doing, not filling out some form off the internet...they also know the pitfalls.
Well gotta go work on my online ejection seat course, it's just as good as hands on training ya know.
shamus
ps, not trying to be a butthole here, just trying to make a point
-
I'm not even married and I'm terrified of a divorce. Even I know that you have to seek a lawyer immediately. Don't screw up the rest of your life over some feelings you have for a woman who is dumping you. DON'T SCREW UP YOUR LIFE.
-
Originally posted by Captain Virgil Hilts
You need a REAL lawyer, not someone who plays one on an Internet BBS.
Seriously, you are in SERIOUS legal danger. Get a good lawyer that specializes in divorces, and gets good results, ask the legal staff on the base, they'll know. Do not let this woman destroy your life.
Further, as much as you want to be nice, and keep things civil, DO NOT trust this woman. She has proven she is NOT worthy of your trust. Do not forget that this woman went out intentionally and found your replacement. There's no such thing as "I wasn't looking", or "I didn't mean for this to happen". As much as you'd like for that to be true, this is the real world, and it just ain't true. She went looking, for whatever reason. NEVER forget that. Do not let that define your life, but make sure it defines your relationship with her, from now on.
Yeah what he said, and remember an attorney that defends himself has a fool for a client. I wouldn't even want to think what a layman who defends himself is.
-
Originally posted by SIK1
I wouldn't even want to think what a layman who defends himself is.
****ed.
-Sik
-
Same advices as Part I.
GET.
A.
LAWYER.
-
Originally posted by Sandman
Same advices as Part I.
GET.
A.
LAWYER.
I'm with Sandman on this one...
-
yea I think it's time.
Either way I'm going to get screwed. She's going to get the house because she is going to get the kids.......because I'm in the military and have to work 120 hours a week to pay for all of this.
I figured we could be good about this and I keep the house. She's now realizing what it's like to pay bills and the lawyers she's talked to have told she can get even more. She's getting greedy.
-
Originally posted by Gunslinger
yea I think it's time.
Either way I'm going to get screwed. She's going to get the house because she is going to get the kids.......because I'm in the military and have to work 120 hours a week to pay for all of this.
I figured we could be good about this and I keep the house. She's now realizing what it's like to pay bills and the lawyers she's talked to have told she can get even more. She's getting greedy.
If she's getting greedy, play the adultery card without hesitation and without mercy. Find a rabid lawyer, and turn him loose. Hire a detective, she's found someone new, let the detective find him and put dates on it. It is no longer time to be nice, it is time to not be nice.
-
See? SHE already went to a lawyer. Protect yourself man!
-
Originally posted by Gunslinger
Either way I'm going to get screwed.
Nothing new here. You need a lawyer to minimize the damage.
You can't win.
-
Or you could give up, give her everything plus half what you earn for the next 15 years and vote for Hillary... twice.
-
Hire the most vicious lawyer you can find. Look at it as a grudge ****.
-
Gun,
I applaud you for trying to be a gentleman about this split but sadly, you will need a legal eye to look out for your interests.
Ive seen many "amicably split" then turn nasty weeks later once the divorce feelings start to take hold.
Adultery is a good point to remember.
Hope it goes smoothly.