Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: SkyRock on July 23, 2007, 07:02:38 PM
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LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A judge has ordered a man to continue paying alimony to his ex-wife -- even though she's in a registered domestic partnership with another woman and even uses the other woman's last name.
California marriage laws say alimony ends when a former spouse remarries, and Ron Garber thought that meant he was off the hook when he learned his ex-wife had registered her new relationship under the state's domestic partnership law.
An Orange County judge didn't see it that way.
The judge ruled that a registered partnership is cohabitation, not marriage, and that Garber must keep writing the checks, $1,250 a month, to his ex-wife, Melinda Kirkwood. Garber plans to appeal.
The case highlights questions about the legal status of domestic partnerships, an issue the California Supreme Court is weighing as it considers whether same-sex marriage is legal. An appeals court upheld the state's ban on same-sex marriage last year, citing the state's domestic partners law and ruling that it was up to the Legislature to decide whether gays could wed.
Lawyers arguing in favor of same-sex marriage say they will cite the June ruling in the Orange County case as a reason to unite gay and heterosexual couples under one system: marriage.
In legal briefs due in August to the California Supreme Court, Therese Stewart, chief deputy city attorney for San Francisco, intends to argue that same sex couples should have access to marriage and that domestic partnership doesn't provide the same reverence and respect as marriage.
The alimony ruling shows "the irrationality of having a separate, unequal scheme" for same-sex partners, Stewart said.
Garber knew his former wife was living with another woman when he agreed to the alimony, but he said he didn't know the two women had registered with the state as domestic partners under a law that was intended to mirror marriage.
"This is not about gay or lesbian," Garber said. "This is about the law being fair."
Kirkwood's attorney, Edwin Fahlen, said the agreement was binding regardless of whether his client was registered as a domestic partner or even married. He said both sides agreed the pact could not be modified and Garber waived his right to investigate the nature of Kirkwood's relationship.
Garber's attorney, William M. Hulsy, disagreed.
"If he had signed that agreement under the same factual scenario except marriage, not domestic partnership, his agreement to pay spousal support would be null and void," Hulsy said.
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Only in california..........
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Seems to me a progressive state like Kalifornia would have done away with alimony long ago. Guess words will always be cheap to some.
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Is the lesbian couple hot?
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This isn't exactly new news... If you have a vagina in a marriage dispute, you're going to win.
Like, take for example my father. He had been paying child support for my sister, who recently turned 18. My (evil) mother went to child services and asked for more money, even though the contract for the child support ended the moment my sister turned 18. She was awarded the money, regardless of what the contract said (and violating my Father's due process rights).
He's going to try to not even address it. He won't pay it, he won't even reply. We don't know what will happen.
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He had been paying child support for my sister, who recently turned 18. My (evil) mother went to child services and asked for more money, even though the contract for the child support ended the moment my sister turned 18.
How can Child Services increase the amount of child support without a court order?
It's probably not wise to just ignore the situation. Your father most likely has a limited time to respond. If he doesn't respond in that time frame he will have to pay regardless of whether or not this is even legal....just because he never contested it.
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Hi Laser,
Originally posted by lasersailor184
He's going to try to not even address it. He won't pay it, he won't even reply. We don't know what will happen.
He needs to get a lawyer and contest the decision in court, or your mother's complaint could well result in civil and criminal penalties depending on the state. These could include the garnishing of his paycheck, seizure of his bank account or pension, registration in a database, arrest and jail time. etc.
As for the original ruling Skyrock cited, what a tangled and hopelessly arbitrary web we are weaving. Surely someone should realize that the "I want to do whatever I want" school of ethics should imply that your neighbor can do whatever he wants to as well?
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As for the original ruling Skyrock cited, what a tangled and hopelessly arbitrary web we are weaving. Surely someone should realize that the "I want to do whatever I want" school of ethics should imply that your neighbor can do whatever he wants to as well?
Hammer meet nail.
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He would have fought it in court, where it was originally decided to award my Mother 95 dollars per week after my sister's 18th. However, it is standard operating procedure to not even tell the Man that there is going to be a court trial, nor even tell his lawyer. The trial happened without him even knowing it was going to happen. Not one single attempt was made to inform him of the trial. Thus violating his Due Process Rights.
I've been trying to convince him to sue the government for several billion dollars because of this, but he's not convinced yet.
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It simply proves that the agenda for the gay rights groups is not equal rights but... extra rights.
lazs
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He needs to get a lawyer and address the issue in court. If he ignores it he's likely to find himself under arrest and in jail at some point. He also will see his wages garnished and maybe even action on his bank accounts. Ignoring it will not make it go away and he is wrong to think that once his daughter turns 21 that he can continue to ignore it. The court can also maintain the debt as long as they want as back child support.
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Originally posted by Maverick
He needs to get a lawyer and address the issue in court. If he ignores it he's likely to find himself under arrest and in jail at some point. He also will see his wages garnished and maybe even action on his bank accounts. Ignoring it will not make it go away and he is wrong to think that once his daughter turns 21 that he can continue to ignore it. The court can also maintain the debt as long as they want as back child support.
But the thing is that he has NO BACK CHILD SUPPORT. He paid off all the money he "owed" including the 2 thousand dollars that was put up for no real reason 2 days before my sister's 18th.
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
This isn't exactly new news... If you have a vagina in a marriage dispute, you're going to win.
Like, take for example my father. He had been paying child support for my sister, who recently turned 18. My (evil) mother went to child services and asked for more money, even though the contract for the child support ended the moment my sister turned 18. She was awarded the money, regardless of what the contract said (and violating my Father's due process rights).
He's going to try to not even address it. He won't pay it, he won't even reply. We don't know what will happen.
Well, the child is the beneficiary of the child support. That means that if the mom and a dad reaches an agreement that means the child gets less than it should have, the contract will be null and void. Its perfectly reasonable once you accept the basic fact that child support is for the child, not the mother.
What will happen is that unless he contests the desicion, he will have to pay, no matter what he says/does. And just trying to ignore it like that is probably the most stupid tactic anyone can try in a legal situation.
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Originally posted by Hortlund
Well, the child is the beneficiary of the child support. That means that if the mom and a dad reaches an agreement that means the child gets less than it should have, the contract will be null and void. Its perfectly reasonable once you accept the basic fact that child support is for the child, not the mother.
What will happen is that unless he contests the desicion, he will have to pay, no matter what he says/does. And just trying to ignore it like that is probably the most stupid tactic anyone can try in a legal situation.
Being another bullet point for my mother being evil, I never saw one single cent of the child support paid to my mother for my sister, or even me way back when actually be spent on us. Even with paying child support, my father bought us everything we needed.
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Originally posted by Meatwad
Only in california..........
California is special in that they don't end Spousal Support in cases of Co-habitation?
-Sik
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
This isn't exactly new news... If you have a vagina in a marriage dispute, you're going to win.
Like, take for example my father. He had been paying child support for my sister, who recently turned 18. My (evil) mother went to child services and asked for more money, even though the contract for the child support ended the moment my sister turned 18. She was awarded the money, regardless of what the contract said (and violating my Father's due process rights).
He's going to try to not even address it. He won't pay it, he won't even reply. We don't know what will happen.
Incorrect, my brother got a divorce after 2 years. His lawyer was the difference maker.
His ex between her "post-divorce alcoholism" and "running off with the mouth", my brother was granted joint physical custody. The youngest of two daughters now lives with my brother, so she was spared. Their oldest daughter is a fruitcake like her mom.
Lawyers are like cigars and scotch. The more you pay, the better they are.
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Originally posted by Masherbrum
Incorrect, my brother got a divorce after 2 years. His lawyer was the difference maker.
His ex between her "post-divorce alcoholism" and "running off with the mouth", my brother was granted joint physical custody. The youngest of two daughters now lives with my brother, so she was spared. Their oldest daughter is a fruitcake like her mom.
Lawyers are like cigars and scotch. The more you pay, the better they are.
Bull****.
I met a guy who spent an incredible amount of money to get custody of his kids. The mother was negligent and running a meth lab out of the back of the house.
Later, I heard the mother's lawyer barely even tried and won the case.
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I've spent the Summer working in family law here in Texas. In my experience, Lasersailor's friend most likely beat his wife and/or the child. Or he's exaggerating to make a point. Or.,perhaps, he heard wrong.
-Sik
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
But the thing is that he has NO BACK CHILD SUPPORT. He paid off all the money he "owed" including the 2 thousand dollars that was put up for no real reason 2 days before my sister's 18th.
This is what I was replying to.
Quote: "
He's going to try to not even address it. He won't pay it, he won't even reply. We don't know what will happen."
Ignoring it will end up with him being charged for avoiding child support. He needs to address this with a lawyer. Ignoring it is arecipe for disaster. He will end up being punished for the back child support he was ordered to pay. The courts are pretty serious about "dead beat dads". Tell him to get proper legal assistance and work through the court.
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I'm running into the problem of assets and debts in my search to retain a lawyer in my divorce. My wife has litterally gone crazy and drinks 24/7. The problem is just about 95% of the debt is in my name even though she pays several of the bills. My credit report doesn't show this unless I include her on the application.
Both of us refuse to move out of the house and neither of us agree on anything nor can we afford lawyers right now.
Previously we agreed on everything and were going to file uncontested but she backed out of the deal and robbed my checking account blind.
She blew $3k in one month and I have no clue where the money went. Now she's refusing to pay "her bills"
All of wich I'm keeping maticulous records of.
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Gunslinger several of us told you that would happen and to get a lawyer right off the bat. I believe you were also advised to seperate your funds asap with seperate bank accounts immediately. That advice was based on others prior experiance which you are now getting on your own.
You cannot afford to screw around like you are doing. If you want to mess up your life to the max, keep on doing what you are doing. Get your own lawyer you do NOT need the wife's permission or acceptance of the choice of YOUR lawyer.
If you can't get on to taking care of yourself and securing your kids financial security you will just end up losing more than you can possibly believe. You are well on your way to that right now.
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Originally posted by that famous person, Anonymous:
When I said, "Until Death Do Us Part," I meant it . . . even if I have to kill her.
Words to live by, apparently.
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
Bull****.
I met a guy who spent an incredible amount of money to get custody of his kids. The mother was negligent and running a meth lab out of the back of the house.
Later, I heard the mother's lawyer barely even tried and won the case.
Seems like the Lawyer overcharged for his services. It happens.
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Well since I started this thread, I can say, be patient and do the right thing, document everything and get the best lawyer you can find in your area who has won cases for the men. In Mississippi, there is an outbreak of women doing meth, they start it and see that it makes them lose weight and then it gets out of control. Mississippi passed a law recently that steers judges to look at meth abuse and if the woman is caught with any meth in their system, they lose........period! I might also add, that no matter what the Ex is doing, never, ever, ever let the children hear you say anything bad about their mother, you will pay for it in the end. Just keep quiet and document!!!! Let them shoot their own selves in the foot!
Mark<-------Proud single full custody father of two beautiful children!
I've been there!
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i feel doubly sorry for this guy...imagine how screwed up this guy's head must have been when he found out his wife was cheating on him with another woman.
i hope there wasn't any children involved.
Entering into a marriage without letting him in on her little secret...
What a pos biatch.
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
Bull****.
I met a guy who spent an incredible amount of money to get custody of his kids. The mother was negligent and running a meth lab out of the back of the house.
Later, I heard the mother's lawyer barely even tried and won the case.
Have you any idea how common it is during custody battles to have unfounded accusations being thrown back and forth? Hes an alcoholic, shes an alcoholic, he hits me, she hits the kids, shes insane, she does drugs...etc. etc. etc.
If you make an accusation of negligence and "running a meth lab out of the back of the house" you better damn well prove your accusation too, or else you will have ailienated the judge and just shot yourself in the foot.
My bet is that this guy who apparently lost, was one of these wild-accusations-type guys, and lost because he could not back up his accusations with hard evidence.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
The problem is just about 95% of the debt is in my name even though she pays several of the bills.
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nor can we afford lawyers right now.
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She blew $3k in one month and I have no clue where the money went. Now she's refusing to pay "her bills"
See anything wrong with this picture bud?
You can`t afford not to afford a lawyer.
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Originally posted by Gunslinger
All of wich I'm keeping maticulous records of.
This wont matter at all, but it will help fuel righteous indignation when you get it busted off in your butt :)
shamus
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Originally posted by Shamus
This wont matter at all, but it will help fuel righteous indignation when you get it busted off in your butt :)
shamus
Gunslinger I hope you read this as it is the unvarnished truth. No matter what she spent you won't get any of it back and your records won't matter a whit. If you are in a community property state all assets are shared including ALL the money. Once the money is gone YOU will share the debt which means she got the fun of spending it but won't have to pay for all of it. You will end up paying for a BUNCH of HER spending.
Close ALL bank accounts. Freeze ALL joint credit accounts. Separate your pay into an account in YOUR name only. If she wants a bank card she must get it in her name. Get a freaking lawyer and get a court order to stop her spending in joint activities.
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Originally posted by Maverick
Gunslinger I hope you read this as it is the unvarnished truth. No matter what she spent you won't get any of it back and your records won't matter a whit. If you are in a community property state all assets are shared including ALL the money. Once the money is gone YOU will share the debt which means she got the fun of spending it but won't have to pay for all of it. You will end up paying for a BUNCH of HER spending.
Close ALL bank accounts. Freeze ALL joint credit accounts. Separate your pay into an account in YOUR name only. If she wants a bank card she must get it in her name. Get a freaking lawyer and get a court order to stop her spending in joint activities.
Very true!
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Originally posted by Maverick
Gunslinger I hope you read this as it is the unvarnished truth. No matter what she spent you won't get any of it back and your records won't matter a whit. If you are in a community property state all assets are shared including ALL the money. Once the money is gone YOU will share the debt which means she got the fun of spending it but won't have to pay for all of it. You will end up paying for a BUNCH of HER spending.
Close ALL bank accounts. Freeze ALL joint credit accounts. Separate your pay into an account in YOUR name only. If she wants a bank card she must get it in her name. Get a freaking lawyer and get a court order to stop her spending in joint activities.
You see Gunslinger, when a truth is so fundamental that even Maverick and Sikboy agree, it's probably a good idea to accept it.
The money you seem to have lost out on already would have been more than enough for a retainer on a very good attorney.
-Sik
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Sikboy,
Be nice, you're just being coy!
:p
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Originally posted by Maverick
Sikboy,
Be nice, you're just being coy!
:p
Lol, I'm tellin' ya Mav... kids these days.
:D
-Sik
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I've been trying to get a lawyer for the past month and a half. The problem lies in the fact that my income used to be suppimented by hers.
Now I'm paying 100% of the bills and only have a bare minimum of my paycheck left over. I have my own checking and savings accounts and have since this whole thing started.
the problem I'm having is she STOLE my lawyer money that I borrowed from family. By myself getting a simple signature loan is out of the question because of my debt to income ratio....NO ONE WILL LOAN ME THE MONEY!
Again I cannot AFFORD (as in cannot come up with the cash....as in the credit cards are maxed out) THE $2k to $3K retainer fee and most lawyers don't work for free.
I barely have enough money to feed myself and put gas in my tank to get me to work. Meanwhile she is making $600 to $1k a week in cash and living large and not giving me a cent of it for the simple things like Mortgage, insurance, Electric, Water. Next month I'm shutting off the phone and direcTV and paid her cell phone bill for the last time last month then got my own phone and account and got my name off of it.
Until i get a lawyer (see above) and go to court for the disposition of our assets and debts, I'm required to pay them wich makes it difficult to afford a lawyer because said debts are in my name. Otherwise I screw my credit up.
Meanwhile Tomorrow I have a meeting with a JAG attourney to get some free legal advice about stuff and a meeting with a county family advocate that works with the military to deal with spouses like this.
Hopfully after my meetings tomorrow some options will open up.
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Originally posted by lasersailor184
Bull****.
I met a guy who spent an incredible amount of money to get custody of his kids. The mother was negligent and running a meth lab out of the back of the house.
Later, I heard the mother's lawyer barely even tried and won the case.
Bull**** yourself. I won full custody of my 2 daughters when I was divorced and they were aged 3 and 8. They are both in their 20's now. Your Dad might have had a crappy attorney.
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Bull**** yourself. I won full custody of my 2 daughters when I was divorced and they were aged 3 and 8. They are both in their 20's now. Your Dad might have had a crappy attorney.
I'm in agreeance with this cat, if you are doing the right thing and she is doing the wrong thing, if you get a decent attorney, you should win! :aok
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in my case it's not that simple. My daughter is actually my step-daughter that I have no legal right to. Judges decide these things in the best intrest of the children and that usually means not splitting up siblings.
Meetings were ok...the only new option I have is a pro-bono lawyer or go to the "st. marry's college" and get a grant for a student that just passed the bar.....not much of a choice!
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The longer you delay the fewer choices your wife will leave to you. Your world has gone away, time to adapt to another one, modified either by your choice or by hers.
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Can you get free assistance from the base legal office Gunslinger? It seems I recall that they won't represent you in a civilian court but perhaps they can in other ways.