Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Neubob on August 02, 2007, 01:42:55 PM
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I am currently engaged in a war with the guy across the way. I have defeated him on several fronts, but am suffering significantly from partisan activities. Raul is a skilled politician, but a ruthless commander. I have greater means and am technologically superior, but his will to win seems to be the deciding factor. I'm afraid that if this stalemate continues, my morale will crumble and I'll be left with the decision of going big, or going home.
At stake are the rights to a parking spot.
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hmmm......is there an oil stain on the parking spot?
This could get big!
RTR
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I have lived in Boston for 10 years and this is an everyday occurance in the winter. The thought is "if you shovel it you own it". I have seen the mondan attempts like chairs, garbage cans, etc. to more extrem mesures like old tubes,and sinks.
I need more details, What has led up to they present stalemate? Have you exhausted all diplomatic attempts to resolve this issue? Are you ready to do what may need to be done, even if possible physical damage must be done? In other words are you prepared to commit yourself to win this war?
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Is your opponent in possession of WMDs (weapons of massive discomfort)? If unsure, will you insist on inspectors, which are likely being bought by said opponent, in his house? Will you give him months to dispose of his WMDs, while you try to see how many of your neighbors are on your side?
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First of all, the parking spot does have a stain on it, but neither of us care. It's a good spot, close to both properties, and during the summer is in a nice shade for most of the day.
Raul and I were once allies against a local nuisance that I cannot describe in detail here. I think that the relationship broke down when I suggested the idea of a purely decorative windvane (jokingly). The idea behind the purely decorative windvane is that it is a windvane that looks like a windvane, but, being purely decorative, it never indicates the correct wind direction. This function is served by a series of servo motors and a computer that always turns the windvane if the wind happens to shift in the direction indicated. It's a simple system that senses wind resistance... Anyway, I proposed this idea to Raul, explaining to him that such a system would give a person a slight advantage over his neighbors in that it prevents the neighbor from harvesting free information at the expense of the windvane owner, while simultaneously disseminating mis-information.
Raul took this to be a veiled threat.
The next day I found his car parked in the spot--even though the spot was on my side of the street.
My first attack was simply to put my car there the next day, but this was quickly answered with a very suspicious placement of dog feces in the path of the front left tire. Raul's Jack Russel Terrier was the primary suspect for this act.
Anyway, things sort of progressed and the latest volley came from Raul just last night when my mailbox was mysteriously replaced with a garbage can full of refuse from a local Chinese restaurant.
Thus far, my most intense attack on Raul consisted of my systematic opening and closing of his garage with a remote I have set to his frequency.
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Duct tape raw Pork Chops on yer car and block him in.
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Brick vs Windshield
Knife vs Tire
Sand vs Gas tank
Brake fluid vs Hood
Good show's that i've seen.
Or you can set up a little camera and record him damaging your property, and really ruin his day.
No one likes a Raul.
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Neubob very well written metaphor-a good read on an otherwise boring day:aok
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Well, maybe if you give him what he wants and try to understand him, he'll leave you alone.
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go to DEFCON 4.
1 car jack.
2 dollies for the parked wheels.
move it down the street while he's asleep.
or
1 gay pride sticker placed in a location that's not completely obvious
or
spray paint red splotches onto a stuffed animal (or, alternatively, a cabbage patch kid doll). ziptie or bungee it under his front bumper. he'll get alot of dirty looks.
or.. the old standbye
vaseline or gear grease under his door handles.
ahh the joys of working at a car dealership for a few years.
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Originally posted by FBBone
Well, maybe if you give him what he wants and try to understand him, he'll leave you alone.
What he wants, I think, is to be completely immune to intimidation--even the threat or spectre of it. He was never hostile until he realized that as a living, thinking human being, I may have certain motivations that run counter to his own. Of course, while he was my ally, he appreciated what I could do for him. The purely decorative windvane idea frightened him, I think. He is of the school of thought that teaches that where there is a way to gain advantage, there is also the willingness. To him, no show of force, be it active, passive, be it aimed at him or somebody else, is benign. So long as somebody shows strength, Raul fears that this strength will inevitably be turned against him.
He commenced hostilities more out of bitterness than out of utility, I think. His hatred of my free-thinking started this thing, and if I don't respond, I'm afraid that his abuse will simply go on into infinity.
I was once told that when faced with an ruthless enemy, I must be even more ruthless. Unfortunately, as I attempted to get back at him for the stuff he did, he started to credit me with random things that happened to him. He suspects me of everything--even when the kid down the street steals his morning paper.
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Pour a bottle of fox urine into the air vent at the base of the windshield.
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Originally posted by Xargos
Pour a bottle of fox urine into the air vent at the base of the windshield.
I was gonna say use "Doe in Heat" but I do that to my own car to give it the "Hey Baby it's a New Car" Smell...
One can nevar get too excited in driving a car...BTW my car is an Automatic with a Stick :huh
:aok
Mac
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Apply some real force.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=432625914450796462
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Super glue iside locks is a evil evil thing.
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Based on what I've heard on the news, you're in luck. You two can kiss, makeup and even wed in Massachussetts :)
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Oh, just when you thought the O'Club was dull, unimaginative, and mediocre.
Thanks for the thread!
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Awesome thread, Neubob. Sorry about some of the textards trying to ruin it.
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Neg on the super glue in the door locks. That is an obvious escallation of hostilities. You want covert action. I like the fox urine idea, some rancid pork grease would also work. It tends to get stronger over time and resist carwashes. Another mindtweaker is squirt a little anti freeze or burnt oil in the vent. Drives 'em nuts looking for the leak.
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If you can get your hands on his keys (big if), you can do this fun little trick. Go to the junkyard / dumpster, and break up some glass. Then, with his keys, get into his car. Roll down the passenger side window, then sprinkle the glass around the inside of the car.
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Bologna makes very nice circles on paint, and can be attributed to neighborhood punks. Coca cola can also be used to the same fashion. Another fun thing to do is to jack up the rear tires (or front tires on a four wheel drive) and place V-blocks under the axles just before a rainstorm when he has to go somewhere. Make sure the tires are barely a 1/4 inch off the ground so it isn't noticed. It will be very fun watching him jack up the car in the rain and then have to go somewhere soaking wet.
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Go a couple of blocks down and steal the licence plates off someone elses car. Take off legit plate, and replace twith stolen ones
Then call the cops and report a suspicious car in the spot.
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If you don't want him to ever park there again, put sugarcubes in the gas tank. Works like a charm.
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Go a couple of blocks down and steal the licence plates off someone elses car. Take off legit plate, and replace twith stolen ones
Then call the cops and report a suspicious car in the spot.
Make sure you wear gloves. Think that might be a federal charge, but not positive.
P.S. Anything you do you want to do it fast.
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Putting sugar in a gas tank will ruin the engine: (http://www.snopes.com/autos/grace/sugar.asp)
Status : False... Sugar does not dissolve in Gasoline.
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physical property damage will cause more harm than good and puts you at risk of legal and potential criminal prosecution.
may i suggest either one of two paths.
1. let him have the parking spot. that it is on the other side of the street means he has to walk farther... i would imagine that he will likely, eventually relent. (though it is interesting to note that this raul fellow seems to be acting in a way which he is supposedly against.)
2. phsycological warfare. i am still trying to figure out how to rig a high frequency amplification system to aim at the windows of the fifteen illegals that live across the street in such a way as to be inperceptable to anyone or anything that is not directly within its path. they have turned a nice clean quiet neighborhood into thier personal trashpit. grrr. anywho.
something like that could be fun and effective...
the bonus of course is that the psychological route offers less jail time.
probably not worth your effort though.
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Oh for heaven's sake, neubob. Look what you did. snicker...
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If he ever leaves his window cracked you can discharge some pepper spray into the opening. The less the windows open the better the effect when he first gets in because it won't be able to dissipate as well. The hotter the day, the better the effect as well.
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Novelty Tail pipe whistle from local gag shop.......... $3
Spent the better part of my senior year in high school trying not to laugh whenever my dad would mention the "odd" sound coming from the car.
Lightly mist a dish soap solution onto his windows. Will just smear instead of cleaning off.
Wrap his car with industrial shrink wrap. Great for that nuisance value.
Use black marker (NON-permanent) to darken head lights
Attach something to rear bumper then place under car so it isn't exposed until he drives away. (e.g. a dog leash with collar and perhaps stuffed animal)
Jack car up on blocks, but leave tires near-by.
place "JB weld" on his mail box door.
Steal newspapers, then deliver them a day later.
Write obscenity in his lawn with Triox (herbicide)
place orange traffic cone on parking spot until you get home.
Bring his dog to local Vietnamese restaurant then invite him over for "take-out"
Enlist army of local hooligans to harass him when you are not around. Benefits - plausible denyability AND local army works for ice cream.
less destructive.... Fill tail pipe with foam packing peanuts. Works best when others are around to see the result.
More destructive... Spray expanding foam insulation into tail pipe.
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Originally posted by clerick
Write obscenity in his lawn with Triox (herbicide)
It's better to write in fertilizer. It'll burn his lawn this year and come back again next year.
But without doing nasty damage, you could fake up a parking ticket with some appropriate software...
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Originally posted by Holden McGroin
It's better to write in fertilizer. It'll burn his lawn this year and come back again next year.
lol.
it burns?
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Yes, sugar cubes will work. They don't dissolve, but they can really gum things up. And they can block the fuel line. I've seen it done. With my own eyes.
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I really don't think it's a good idea to do anything to hinder the performance of the car. Because if he got injured or killed due to it, you would feel very guilty I think.
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yes. raul must remain alive if you are to toy with him.
(wringing hands)
might i suggest an open call for o'clubbers to send him secretive letters with unintelligible verses covered with cryptic symbols from the OCHTC brotherhood...postmarked from all corners of the world?
:cool:
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Originally posted by McFarland
Yes, sugar cubes will work. They don't dissolve, but they can really gum things up. And they can block the fuel line. I've seen it done. With my own eyes.
Snopes says you are wrong...
Mythbusters says you are wrong...
But I will defer to anybody that can consistantly shoot squirrels with a shotgun at 150 yds.
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Originally posted by JB88
yes. raul must remain alive if you are to toy with him.
(wringing hands)
might i suggest an open call for o'clubbers to send him secretive letters with unintelligible verses covered with cryptic symbols from the OCHTC brotherhood...postmarked from all corners of the world?
:cool:
hmmm something like a "we are watching you" postcard, from around the world in several different languages.
we are watching you
nous sommes veille vous
wir sind zuguckend Sie
vi er ser du
мы быть часы карманные,наручные ты
siamo orologio tu
εμείs είμαστε παρακολουθώ you
estamos a ver you
well you get the idea. would be funny having same thing wrote on 100s of postcards, postmarked from all over the world at nearly the same time. should freak the guy out.
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Originally posted by Holden McGroin
But I will defer to anybody that can consistantly shoot squirrels with a shotgun at 150 yds.
he must be drinking that snake poison and hallucinating again. glad I still got him on ignore. that dude is wayyyyy out thar, sommers in the leftish field and going on and on and on....................touched in the head I tell ya.
:t :D :p
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very deniable (http://www.spellmaker.com/doll.htm)
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Spend a few dollars and order Ghey Male pRon in his name but have it delivered to his neighbors address next door.
:t
Mac
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Neubob, I can help.
1. First thing, modify your windvane so it accurately reflects the current wind-direction. The first rule of warfare is deception, and he's operating under the assumption that the windvane is off, so by making it work properly, you will defeat any plans he might employ that require knowledge of winds.
2. Let him park in The Spot, but whenever his car isn't there, stealthily add to the oil stain so he begins to suspect mechanical failure. His own uncertainty will grow to be his biggest enemy.
3. When he replaced your mailbox with the trash can from the local chinese restaurant, he had an important victory. Effective retaliation must, by it's very nature, be overwhelming. To wit, you must do the same to his mailbox, but with a trash can from a different restaurant that is _much further_ away. The unmistakable menace of waking up to a trash can from a shop two blocks down the street can't be shaken off easily, and, in combination with #1 and #2, your maskirovka will be complete.
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more folksy wisdom from mcfarland.. he thinks you can go out and fill your tank with booze and it will "outrun the cops" but tells us that a few sugar cubes will destroy the car forever.
and the guy knows how to use a computer?
lazs
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Originally posted by Holden McGroin
Snopes says you are wrong...
Mythbusters says you are wrong...
But I will defer to anybody that can consistantly shoot squirrels with a shotgun at 150 yds.
:rofl :rofl
I like the postcard idea, post his address and give us a couple of days to select a very special card and then set a date for us to all mail it to him. Maybe allow a day or two for our overseas brethren then mail ours. Try to time it so they all show up on the same day or day or two apart.
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I like the post card thingy too.
:aok
Mac
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oh I am ALL OVER the postcard idea :D
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Yeah, I like it too.
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Can we legally make this happen?
I mean there is not mention of attack... I was wondering on the harassment side of the law. Then we also need to pick out the appropiate postcards too.
:t
Mac
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I'd spend the $.45.
Mmight i suggest a Chimpanzee or cute kitten theme for the cards?
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Noooo it has to have "EYEBALLS" on it.
Anything from the "Faces of Death" might be a lil outta line though.
:t
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Was thinking about the Bare Naked Ladies song.... "Another post card with chimpanzees, and everyone is addressed to meeeee."
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Nah on the chimp or "cutesy" cards. Get one of those cards that has the cheesecake shot of a man on it. Then in the message tell him it was a wonderful night out with the boys that caused you to send him the cards.
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I was thinking "Men in Black" or a postcard of Jake and Elwood "The Blues Brothers".
Give it that Mafia, Secret Agent, CIA/FBI/INS look to it....
Saddam swingin from a rope my be stretching it a bit far though.
You know a more suptle subliminal message.
:D
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(http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/men_in_black_01.jpg)
If I had a buttload of Postcards like this at once in my mailbox saying in several different languages "We are watching you." It would be freaky.
:noid
Mac
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I was thinking maybe a picture of a donkey or a burro with the subtle implication that he's a Jackprettythang, but I like the beefcake postcard idea also
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(http://blogs.abcnews.com/photos/uncategorized/raul_castro.jpg)
We are watching you Raul...
Simple, makes a hidden threat, doesn't actually say we are watching HIM but another Raul... just so happens they all show up en masse to his mailbox.
BTW this is Raul Castro... yeppers Fidels Brother.
Sometimes I even scare myself.
:D
Mac
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I'm down for the beefcake "Wish you were here in Acapulco!" postcard.
Say when.
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Originally posted by Engine
I'm down for the beefcake "Wish you were here in Acapulco!" postcard.
Say when.
Wouldn't make sense if all postcards came from all over the World wishing he was in Acapulco.
Engine that's so gHey. You have me worried that "Yer down for the Beefcake." What we send you beefcake postcards next? Ewww...
You want to instill a sense of Paranoia within the inDUHvidual.
Yet cards from all over the World stating we are watching him would blow his mind.
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I want you in my arms, Mac.
Alls I'm sayin is no one is going to be scared by "I'm watching you" postcards, whereas they will be scared to open their mailbox if they know a naked man's bellybutton is waiting inside for them.
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Originally posted by Engine
I want you in my arms, Mac.
Alls I'm sayin is no one is going to be scared by "I'm watching you" postcards, whereas they will be scared to open their mailbox if they know a naked man's bellybutton is waiting inside for them.
Engine I bet you skip, drool at the mouth and yer butt drips going to the mailbox everyday hoping for a letter addressed to Occupant or Previous Resident.
Engine I hope School starts soon again for you. Meet some girls. You are really too much into this "Mans Butt" Thingy.
Write yer Dad a letter and let him know how yer feeling.
Ewwww....
Mac
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The more I think about, we need his address so we can sign him up for all the free stuff we see online, in the malls and stores, everywhere. within a month he'll be buried under a pile of catalogs and junk mail :lol :t
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Sign him up for NAMBLA.
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Originally posted by rpm
Sign him up for NAMBLA.
There ya go... and use his neigbours house as the mailing address... heehee
:t
Mac
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My brother and I have been at war for 25+ years, some battles I've lost but many more that I have won.
These have been some of the things I've done against him.
1. Subscribed him to The Advocate and Out magazines. His mailman will take care of informing the rest of the neighborhood about his reading material.
2. Go to the post office and put a hold on his mail for a month. No ID is required for this, you just fill out a form and sign it. No mail for 30 days.
3. Sign him up for a free Enzyte sample but put his wife's name down. He'll think his wife is trying to tell him he's a little short in some areas.
4. Put out an ad in a swinger's magazine with his phone number.
5. Put an ad out in the local paper advertising his house for sale and open house dates.
ack-ack
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Originally posted by DieAz
hmmm something like a "we are watching you" postcard, from around the world in several different languages.
we are watching you
nous sommes veille vous
wir sind zuguckend Sie
vi er ser du
мы быть часы карманные,наручные ты
siamo orologio tu
εμείs είμαστε παρακολουθώ you
estamos a ver you
well you get the idea. would be funny having same thing wrote on 100s of postcards, postmarked from all over the world at nearly the same time. should freak the guy out.
Nothing like adding Federal Charges to the list of things consequences of things suggested here. :rolleyes:
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Originally posted by SteveBailey
Nothing like adding Federal Charges to the list of things consequences of things suggested here. :rolleyes:
and now a message from Steve "wet blanket" Bailey....:rolleyes:
Ack , I like the hold mail stunt. Put a hold on his mail, then sign him for all the free stuff. then in 30 days when they deliver his mail they need a truck and dump it in his yard ... :t
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i think we should hear raul's side first, can you get him to post?
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Originally posted by Airscrew
and now a message from Steve "wet blanket" Bailey....:rolleyes:
Ack , I like the hold mail stunt. Put a hold on his mail, then sign him for all the free stuff. then in 30 days when they deliver his mail they need a truck and dump it in his yard ... :t
he has a point though brother.
it must be firm but innocuous. nothing illegal. sheer numbers. they key is to reach a point so immediately absurd that there will be nothing that they can do to counter it fast enough to be effective. a swift victory with an immediate surrender rather than the long protracted war.
nothing dangerous or ominous here. just funny. hell, we could video tape our efforts...we could make mock-umentaries.
(pours out some blue on red blocks on the table)
SSOC
(secret society of o'clubbers)
a call to arms.
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p.s. i have been wanting to try this out on the illegals across the street from me for ages.
unfortunately for me, my studio also happens to be right behind where they live.
this is what it looked like before they started trashing it this year.
(http://www.augustradio.com/uploaded_images/studioeditreduced-766289.jpg)
this is what it looked like after they decided that it was okay to trash it.
(http://www.augustradio.com/4.jpg)
(http://www.augustradio.com/2.jpg)
(http://www.augustradio.com/6.jpg)
i have since pushed it back and cleaned it...but that has only served to make them more volatile. they have made veiled threats. last weekend the sign on my studio was torn off and thrown in the yard.
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Send an anonomous complaint to the health department. Another one to child protective services if kids live there.
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Originally posted by Maverick
Send an anonomous complaint to the health department. Another one to child protective services if kids live there.
sadly, they won't take complaints anonymously and the landlord is also the owner of the building that i use as my studio. he gets screwed with fines. so do i. so that's worse case. he'll get his later. ive documented everything.
space to work is very hard to come by here.
no kids. only the illegals.
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i did get this great picture of their dog though.
(http://www.augustradio.com/pelone.jpg)
2 years ago that porch was pristine and a little 78 year old man lived there and managed to care for the place just fine.
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All very very good suggestions.
Bologna--perhaps...
glass sprinkled inside his car--maybe....
Turning the purely decorative windvane into a functional one--almost definitely....
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PM the address JB.
I'm bored.
Mac