Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: AWMac on August 05, 2007, 06:26:07 AM

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: AWMac on August 05, 2007, 06:26:07 AM

My outside cat had babies.  We feed them eveyday. Kaisson will soon die, he's got Kitty AIDS.  It's sad to see him like this.

He's a Orange striped Tiger looking cat.. and has a Orange Girlfriend, the Mom of the kittens.  He has 3 kittens, yet only one looks like him exactly.

Sooo cute.

Here is where I messed up.  I feed the cats/kittens. I wanted to pet Kiassons lil kitten... his Son... we named him "Sparky".  They are shy of people and run off.  I came out the door quietly yesterday and had a chance of grabbing Sparky.

Ya know when you really screw up crap happens in slow motion....I grabbed the kitten.

Whatever I thought of cute and fuzzy became a hissin/spittin dam fur of razor blades and teeth.... I couldn't get this dammm thing off my frikken hand fast enough... It wouldn't let go... a kitten pocessed... Jebus I'm screaming, the kitten from Hell is feeding on my dam hand.... I'm swinging the hand and screaming running around the yard and the neighbors come out.

You'd think they'd grab a water hose, bat or a dammm shotgun... But Nooooo.... They're enjoying this crap... I attempt to peel this Evil Spawn of Satan off my hand and it is now on my other dam hand... chit, I'm wailing, the kitten is sreecking.. I'm doing the frikken Waatusie drippin blood and now trying to shake this lil kitten off me.  Laffter in the background.

Here comes the Mother cat.... Dammm I'm screwed now.  As if I'm hurtin the kitten   PaHLeeez.... she promptly attacks my left shin... gnawing, kicking, clawing...did I mention gnawing?

Frikken neighbours are rollin in laffter and tears... bastages.  I'm doing a dam shuffle from yard to yard with a kitten feeding on my hands and a pissed off Mother Cat gnawing on my left leg...

I finally dropped and rolled... watermelon it works for fires... Mom Cat and kitten ran off... I was laid out in the driveway with all the dam neighbours rollin on the ground laffin their tulips off.

I retreat to the house...bleeding like a stuck pig... wifey asks me WTF? and I point towards the door... she comes back in 20 minutes later laffin her asre off, can't look at me in the eyes and gets out the Poroxide, Neosporin and bandaids... Laffin her bellybutton off the whole time.

Dam this was a bad Day.

Mac

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: DieAz on August 05, 2007, 06:36:30 AM

one way or another you gonna learn not to mess with Kitty Power.


LMAO thanks for the laugh  :rofl :rofl

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: AWMac on August 05, 2007, 06:37:24 AM

Dam wifey still walking by me laffin.... or hisses and makes cat sounds.

Crap

Mac

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: McFarland on August 05, 2007, 06:39:43 AM

And they said I was lying when I said cats could really mess you up. "Now you know the rest of the story." - Paul Harvey

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: AWMac on August 05, 2007, 06:57:46 AM

I got 14 bandaids on the right hand, 8 on the left hand and 7 on the left shin.... I hurt.

Wifey still thinks its funny as Hell...

Haven't seen my neighbours yet...maybe won't for a time. Dam Bastages.


Mac

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: McFarland on August 05, 2007, 07:12:43 AM

They probably took one look at you and said, "I don't want none of that!" And then started laughing at you.

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: AWMac on August 05, 2007, 07:17:37 AM

Wifey just asked me if I wanted scrambled eggs with Catsup....she can't look me in the eyes without laffin...

She said she'd feed me because of all the Band~Aids.... Laffin.

Well chit...

I had good intentions.

Kittens are Evil!!!

Mac

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Maverick on August 05, 2007, 10:30:36 AM

:rofl :rofl :rofl

Not quite up to the original Hairball story from years back but not bad at all.

Oh and Mac, ROWR!!!!


:rofl :rofl

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Meatwad on August 05, 2007, 10:39:02 AM

:rofl :rofl


Do you still enjoy the cats company, or are you now considering a new game to see how far you can punt one of em?

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: DYNAMITE on August 05, 2007, 11:25:43 AM

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  :rofl :rofl :rofl

Oh, and sorry for your pain MAC... *snicker snicker laugh laugh*

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Hornet33 on August 05, 2007, 11:33:54 AM

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/208/457767264_b3e9264fc9.jpg)

:rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Jackal1 on August 05, 2007, 11:41:10 AM

Damn Okies.
Cowboy up. :)

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Flatbar on August 05, 2007, 12:00:27 PM

Cats are evil and should be subject to leash laws.

I accelerate for cats.








Note: The above was said in jest and doesn't reflect my true feelings....except for the part about cats.

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: eskimo2 on August 05, 2007, 12:01:48 PM

And now you are patient zero of Human-Feline AIDS...

Dang, that's a bad way to go.

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: 68slayr on August 05, 2007, 12:14:20 PM

too bad there arent any pics :p

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: gpwurzel on August 05, 2007, 12:58:43 PM

Mac, sorry for your pain, but I'm lmao'ing here........got my ops looking at me funny, as I seem to be having a fit or seizure of some sort.....just too funny......

Hope you heal fast fella..


Wurzel

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: DYNAMITE on August 05, 2007, 06:24:52 PM

Reading this story makes me think of this...

(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/pwnd.jpg)

:rofl :aok

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: tedrbr on August 05, 2007, 06:38:33 PM

Neighbors are certainly bastiges if they got no film of this little episode.

(http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/18/karate_cat.jpg) (http://www.threadbombing.com/details.php?image_id=155)

All cats are inherently evil.  Just accept it and their total rule over you.

I suspect the flashbacks and nightmares where you wake up in a cold sweat will be next.

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: texasmom on August 05, 2007, 07:15:21 PM

Dynamite! What a funny picture!

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: 68slayr on August 05, 2007, 07:16:28 PM

LMAO Mcfarland and his vicious cats have attacked!!!!!

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: USRanger on August 05, 2007, 07:26:49 PM

Mac gets the last laugh
(http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/4126/catinmicrowaveqs2cl7.gif) (http://imageshack.us)

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Ripsnort on August 05, 2007, 07:48:32 PM

Mac,
They have these things called gloves, for handling wild kittens (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7012477472859527269&q=Wild+kitten&total=385&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0).  Try using 'em. :rofl

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Dichotomy on August 05, 2007, 07:54:45 PM

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA

sorry mac but that's too funny

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: RedTop on August 05, 2007, 07:58:51 PM

:rofl :rofl :cry :rofl :cry :rofl

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: lasersailor184 on August 05, 2007, 08:03:00 PM

Yes, the way to domesticate any animal is to force contact.  Real smart.

Title: Things you had Good intentions that went really wrong.
Post by: Wes14 on August 05, 2007, 08:06:12 PM

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Evil Cats: 1

Mac: 0

i see the kitty/cat also learned  to horde and cherry pick. seeing as the kitty had you and then mommy came in and tried to steal the "kill" :rofl