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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: wrag on August 12, 2007, 11:23:59 AM

Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: wrag on August 12, 2007, 11:23:59 AM
some have opinions that didn't exist just a few years ago.................

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/08/11/is-it-unwise-for-a-man-to-marry-in-todays-climate-of-misandry/

Makes one think!

A LOT....................
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Meatwad on August 12, 2007, 11:38:11 AM
Dont do it, its a trap!
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: texasmom on August 12, 2007, 12:22:30 PM
It was just as destructive in the centuries past for a man to unwisely marry a horrible woman as it would be in 'today's misandry climate.'  Just pick smart and you won't have to worry about all that.:)
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: wrag on August 12, 2007, 01:08:10 PM
Quote
Originally posted by texasmom
It was just as destructive in the centuries past for a man to unwisely marry a horrible woman as it would be in 'today's misandry climate.'  Just pick smart and you won't have to worry about all that.:)


Good point TexasMom

So very few of us PICK SMART LOL...................

Heard it said pick your mate like you would pick the vehicle best suited for you, BUT anymore most people pick the vehicle that TURNS em on.

Often, perhaps due to TV and movies, we actually avoid the person best suited for us, meaning someone we like and can get along with, in favor of the HOTTIE.

Is this an impress your friends and neighbors thing?

This SEEMS to hold true for both males and females.

Guess too many of us listen to advertising people TOO much.

We are repeatedly told we NEED to be ALWAYS HAPPY!

Do this, or buy that, or go here, and above all spend MONEY, and we will be HAPPY!

There is a LOT to be said for learning to be CONTENT!

That HOTTIE may look GREAT but everything about em just may grate on your nerves!  Is that how you wanna spend your life?

And of course there are the HOTTIE'S that SEEM to have a NEED to prove to themselves and all around them just how HOT they really are by striving for attention/worship/conquest.
Title: The answer is simple.
Post by: TalonX on August 12, 2007, 07:24:09 PM
DO NOT GET MARRIED.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: ghi on August 12, 2007, 09:24:49 PM
humans are polygamy from nature,
 we are the only mammals enforced by religious restrictions to have only one partner for lifetime, and it's against human instinct look at cats, dogs, cows, monkeys....
From my experience mariage is a boring dinner that starts with the dessert, reaches the point where one kisses and other ofer his face
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: tedrbr on August 13, 2007, 01:17:05 AM
Quote
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
---Oscar Wilde
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: DREDIOCK on August 13, 2007, 01:21:08 AM
Having been married over 20 years I can say with a large degree of certainty that I would rather walk the streets of Iraq. Draped in an american flag screaming "Alla is a queer" then to ever do it again.

I can also say through experience that the man who wrote this song has obviously spent a considerable time being married. As more words are positively true then not

I took the liberty of placing in bold the lines I find in particularly to be true
Im an Ordinary man

 I'm an ordinary man,
Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance,
to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants...
An average man am I, of no eccentric whim,
Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
doing whatever he thinks is best, for him,
Well... just an ordinary man...

BUT, Let a woman in your life and your serenity is through,
she'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome,
and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you...

Let a woman in your life, and you're up against a wall,
make a plan and you will find,
that she has something else in mind,
and so rather than do either you do something else
that neither likes at all


You want to talk of Keats and Milton,
she only wants to talk of love,
You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching
for her glove,

 Let a woman in your life
and you invite eternal strife,

Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands...
I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling
than to ever let a woman in my life,


I'm a very gentle man,
even tempered and good natured
who you never hear complain,
Who has the milk of human kindness
by the quart in every vein,
A patient man am I, down to my fingertips,
the sort who never could, ever would,
let an insulting remark escape his lips
Very gentle man...

But, Let a woman in your life,
and patience hasn't got a chance,
she will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise,
and she will listen very nicely, and then go out
and do exactly what she wants!!!  


You are a man of grace and polish,
who never spoke above a hush,
all at once you're using language that would make
a sailor blush,


 Let a woman in your life,
and you're plunging in a knife,
Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks,
I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
than to ever let a woman in my life  


I'm a quiet living man,
who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room,
who likes an atmosphere as restful as
an undiscovered tomb,
A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys,
who likes to meditate, contemplate,
far for humanities mad inhuman noise,
Quiet living man....

But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through,
in a line that never ends comes an army of her friends,
come to jabber and to chatter
and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!,  

she'll have a booming boisterous family,
who will descend on you en mass,
she'll have a large wagnarian mother,
with a voice that shatters glass,
Let a woman in your life,
Let a woman in your life,
Let a woman in your life I shall never let a woman in my life.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: TPIguy on August 13, 2007, 09:28:21 AM
Muslims don't seem to have these problems...
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Halo on August 13, 2007, 09:46:32 AM
Until they face 76 virgins in the next life.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Kaw1000 on August 13, 2007, 10:16:31 AM
You'll be sorry!!!!:t
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: texasmom on August 13, 2007, 10:30:12 AM
I'm trying to figure out if y'all are really this cynical, or if it's some kind of false macho bravado here.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Curval on August 13, 2007, 10:35:10 AM
Quote
Originally posted by texasmom
I'm trying to figure out if y'all are really this cynical, or if it's some kind of false macho bravado here.


It's some kind of false macho bravado.  It permiates this board like a bad smell.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: TPIguy on August 13, 2007, 10:38:15 AM
Quote
I'm trying to figure out if y'all are really this cynical, or if it's some kind of false macho bravado here.


A lot of guys think this way. Until they see nice set of boobs, then they forget all about how evil women are.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: MrBill on August 13, 2007, 10:38:30 AM
Hummm Coming up on my 34th anniversary ... same women ... somewhere along the line we both fell out of lust ... and into love ... I suppose she's right ... we both found someone that we enjoyed being annoyed by ... for the rest of our lives ... and are going to stick around till we get even. :D:D:D
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Maverick on August 13, 2007, 10:40:29 AM
While it is true that marriage is the cause of divorce, it is not true that it will follow through in all cases.

There is a difference in being married over being single. Often it takes the second try before you realize what it is about being married that is important. As has already been mentioned, if you marry based on outward appearance only you will be unhappy in short order.

There is more to a person than the outward appearance. If you cannot have a real bond of friendship with your prospective mate you are wasting the time of both of you. Long after the blush is gone from the rose and the novelty of the new has worn away  the two of you will need to rely on the deeper bond that is the real relationship between you. If there is no depth there to begin with you will not have anything in common with that person to spend your life with.

Merely avoiding divorce will not remove you from financial ruin. If you engage in procreational activities you run the risk of siring a child. If so then you had better have more in common with that person than a quicky since you will be bound to the child for at least 18 years. If you cannot take responsibility for your recreation, at least have the responsibility to see that you cannot impregnate the woman as you won't be a father anyhow. You need a man to be a father, but only test tubes and sperm to breed.

If you can't be a man, get a vasectomy. That way your assets sill be safe from the specter of confiscation due to siring a child. It takes more than biological material to be a parent. If you can't be a parent (either gender) at least refrain from breeding.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: storch on August 13, 2007, 10:40:35 AM
Quote
Originally posted by MrBill
Hummm Coming up on my 34th anniversary ... same women ... somewhere along the line we both fell out of lust ... and into love ... I suppose she's right ... we both found someone that we enjoyed being annoyed by ... for the rest of our lives ... and are going to stick around till we get even. :D:D:D
:rofl never quite seen it worded like that.  congratulations.  thirty years here and we're good friends with benefits. :D
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: RedDg on August 13, 2007, 01:05:11 PM
http://www.dont-marry.com
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: texasmom on August 13, 2007, 01:54:16 PM
Quote
Originally posted by RedDg
http://www.dont-marry.com


LOLOLOL! OMG! that was pretty funny.;)

Think that guy was serious though? LOLOLOL!
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Guppy35 on August 13, 2007, 02:02:41 PM
25th Anniversary next Monday.  Best move I ever made.  She's my best friend, confidant, partner, etc.

Only a fool goes into a marriage thinking it won't take some work on the part of both people to make it successful.  We've battled through a lot over the years with the kids and the loss of two of them.  If that wasn't going to wreck us, nothing is.

All I know is that the sum of our parts is far greater then each of us as individuals.  We balance each other out.  When I'm not on my game she picks up the slack and vice versa.  

And she knew I was WW2 aviation goofy when she married me and still did it.  She's encouraged it and supported it.  

I have absolutely no complaints and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Speed55 on August 13, 2007, 02:18:57 PM
Quote
Originally posted by RedDg
http://www.dont-marry.com


After shaking the hand of the person who invented spandex, the one that wrote that article would be next.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: tedrbr on August 13, 2007, 02:22:26 PM
Quote
Originally posted by texasmom
LOLOLOL! OMG! that was pretty funny.;)

Think that guy was serious though? LOLOLOL!


More than a grain of truth in most of that site though.  Some of the best humor is firmly grounded in reality.  None of what he stated is really unavoidable in a relationship or common to all, but in general, those are western society's views and customs on marriage.  

He just goes a bit over the top is all.   It's hard to point to anything there that doesn't happen amongst some marriages.  I couldn't find much that I'd contest, except that diamonds are artificially overpriced and are in reality "common" and "cheap", but the rest I'll concede to.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Halo on August 13, 2007, 03:33:38 PM
It gets much easier if you marry your best friend, your angel on Earth.  If you honestly put her ahead of your interests, and she puts you ahead of her interests, then you have it made.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: 68Wooley on August 13, 2007, 05:51:52 PM
Wooley's Successful Marriage Guide:

1. Don't even think about getting married until at least the later half of your twenties. Until you've been around the block a few times, you wont really know when you've found the right person.

2. Try before you buy: live together before contemplating getting married. Until you've shared a bathroom with someone, you don't know them.

3. Sleep with several people before contemplating getting married. Curiosity will be a problem otherwise.  

4. Learn when to lie and when to be truthful. Both have their places in a successful relationship.

5. There is very little that can't  be fixed by the occasional unprompted purchasing of flowers.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Angus on August 13, 2007, 06:03:43 PM
My marriage was a happy thing. No regrets. After marriage came kids. No problems. And my wife is my best friend.
Just choose carefully ;)
And Drediock, you had an american wife I guess. Reminds me of the film hot-shot's,,,,,or was it naked gun?
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: FiLtH on August 13, 2007, 07:27:49 PM
Dred I was just listening to "On the Street Where You Live" :)
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: DREDIOCK on August 13, 2007, 08:10:36 PM
Quote
Originally posted by texasmom
I'm trying to figure out if y'all are really this cynical, or if it's some kind of false macho bravado here.


Just speaking the words of a grizzled  veteran here.
I highlighted the parts I did because I found them to be in large part true.

Now let me say from the start i dont hate women. In fact I love women.
Right up to the point where Im in a relationship with one and really get to know them  :p

But seriously I tend to get along with women Im not involved with fine.
Its the ones I have ended up in a relationship with where thew problems start and where I find the words to the song holds true.

I think part of the problem is..well they have been women.
I say that because being a woman there isnt much of anything I can do about it.
If a man were to give me the same aggrivation that some women have I'd Have simply knuckled down with em and two hours later be drinking a beer with the person.

Cant quite get away with that sort of thing with a woman.

And I think alot of women know this and use it to their advantage
Its like the old joke about why kids are made so cute.
Its to keep you from strangling them. And grandkids are your reward for not doing so. LOL

But seriously I find that dealing with women is alot like dealing with a kid.
you almost HAVE to use the same kind of logic because alot of times that is exactly the way they behave.

Difference is, you can dicipline your kid. Most women arent into that sort of thing LOL
With women they tend to push and push and pushj and B and B and B untill you go completely banannas yelling and cussing.

Then everything is ok again. Just like a kid after he or she has been scolded by their parent.

Unfortunately. sexually I like woman so much that even my feminine side is a lesbian :)

20+ years and Im still married.  Its...ok
But no way would I do it again.
Its just not worth the day to day aggrivation

Ideally I think the best relationship would be one where you get together, have a good time and what not. and then she goes home to her place and I to mine.
Then MAYBE get married at age 70 when its to your mutual benifit to take care of one another and make sure each other takes the right pills on time every day.

Before that. This watermelon is for the birds

I mean its ok but it becomes like a tuna sandwich.
Now I like Tuna fish sandwiches.
But its not what I want to eat every day of my life.
It gets old
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: DREDIOCK on August 13, 2007, 08:21:31 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Angus
My marriage was a happy thing. No regrets. After marriage came kids. No problems. And my wife is my best friend.
Just choose carefully ;)
And Drediock, you had an american wife I guess. Reminds me of the film hot-shot's,,,,,or was it naked gun?


And you obviously dont live in America.
Otherwise you would very well knwo the old Eddie Murphy bit about the first thing foreign wifes learn


"HALF"

:lol
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: 68Wooley on August 13, 2007, 10:32:13 PM
Quote
Originally posted by DREDIOCK
And you obviously dont live in America.
Otherwise you would very well knwo the old Eddie Murphy bit about the first thing foreign wifes learn


"HALF"

:lol


..Singin' WE WANT PRE-NUP, WE WANT PRE-NUP :D
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Angus on August 14, 2007, 06:09:34 AM
My wife is foreign. But not an American :D Maybe that's the point ?
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Excel1 on August 14, 2007, 06:18:58 AM
Quote
Ideally I think the best relationship would be one where you get together, have a good time and what not. and then she goes home to her place and I to mine.


it's called a potatohouse ;)
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: AWMac on August 14, 2007, 06:22:07 AM
I only date Married Women, the Single girls tend to call my Wife.

:D

Mac
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: eskimo2 on August 14, 2007, 08:56:14 AM
Biologically as far as men and women being naturally monogamous or not, I think that it’s not that simple.  People are very complex.  I think that most people have a tendency to want a lifetime monogamous relationship AND they also have a desire to sleep around.  In any random sample of people you will probably find people who lean heavily toward either end of the spectrum and many somewhere in-between.  Purely as a male reproductive strategy, one-night stands, trickery, seeing prostitutes and even rape and incest have proven effective at passing one’s genes.  If we all could se our entire family trees/heritages, I bet we would find that all of us are the product of these modes of “reproduction”.  No matter how strict or lenient the laws, taboos, sexual expectations or religious demands, people end up reproducing one way or another.  In times of war, famine, slavery, depression, uprising or prosperity, people end up reproducing one way or another.  This ingrains in all of us very complex sexual desires and behaviors.

I think at least half of all people shouldn’t seek marriage, men and women included.  Anyone who is naturally: selfish, greedy, unfaithful, dishonest, violent, unrealistic, or has a problem: going ballistic, with drugs or alcohol, etc. probably is going to make a poor spouse.  It’s no surprise that so many marriages end in divorce; most people aren’t marriage material.  Lasting until death do they part is no guarantee that the couple had a happy, beneficial marriage either.  I think nearly all marriages have some rough times and issues, but it is a very good thing for many people.  

Saying that men should not seek marriage, however, is like saying that people should not seek being professional athletes or entertainers because the majority who try fail.  The big difference is that if you fail at becoming a pro football player or rock star, you simply move on.  Fail at marriage (even if it’s not your fault) and you will probably get burned financially for decades and quite possibly emotionally as well.  If you have children you will probably get burned even worse.

To have a successful marriage you must be worthy of marriage, choose well and work at it.
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: lazs2 on August 14, 2007, 09:20:21 AM
I think that some men are not suited for marriage...  not in a conventional sense.

I have been married twice for a total of maybe 18 years and was miserable and made my partner miserable for most of that time.  

I do have two children that I am glad I had but there is also a lot of heartbreak in losing them to the woman..  

financial disaster at least twice... right back to square one in both cases... maybe even below square one.

I love women... I just can't be around em too long..  I would say that they feel the same about me.   I am not good at compromise and I pretty much do as I please.  

I do not screw around much these days..  biker days got that out of my system and maybe.. I am just getting old but...  I like to have a relationship with women... sometimes they last for years.

For certain tho... when they end it is a lot easier on me than divorce.  

I have a girlfriend that has lasted 5 years now..  she lives 60 miles away and I see her about 7 days a month.   we get along well.   We have grown accustomed to each other.  

She has her home and family and pets and all that and  I have mine.

I will retire soon... I will move out into the sticks more.    She is welcome to stay as long as she likes...  we might even get along.   might not..  she would still have her own money and family...  

But.. most of you are younger than I... much different situation.   I already have my children and I don't need a trophy wife or girlfriend to impress my friends...  I don't need to compete or feel jealous..   I have learned that even as ugly as I am... there is always a facinating women that will want me.   no insecurities.. no lasting ones in any case.

What I look for in a girlfriend?   clean, kinky and good natured... also.. it helps if they live far enough away that they can't just drop in and that they don't have any physical features that are too off putting..  that of course varies from person to person... I am not picky about some things but intolerant of other things.. just as we all are.

lazs
Title: Thinkin on Marriage...................
Post by: Xargos on August 14, 2007, 02:00:30 PM
If you want to get married, just find a women you hate and buy her a house.