Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Maverick on August 29, 2007, 01:28:18 PM

Title: Wednesday funny
Post by: Maverick on August 29, 2007, 01:28:18 PM
Medical Insurance Explained

Q .  What does HMO stand for?

  A . This  is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE."  Its  roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges,  who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

   

   Q .  I just joined an  HMO  How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

  A . Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents.  Your  insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan.  The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan.  But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

   

   Q   Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

  A No   Only those you need .

   

   Q   Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

  A . Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment .

   

   Q   What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

  A You'll need to find alternative forms of payment .

   

   Q . My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.  I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache .  What should I do?

  A Poke yourself in the eye.

   

   Q   What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

  A . You really shouldn't do that.

   

   Q   I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my  problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

  A . Hard  to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20  co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

   

 Q .  Will health care be different in the next decade?

 A . No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
Title: Wednesday funny
Post by: Meatwad on August 29, 2007, 01:48:52 PM
:rofl :rofl
Title: Wednesday funny
Post by: Tiger on August 29, 2007, 01:57:32 PM
I hate health insurance companies.

They'll bury you in paperwork until you get an ulcer trying to deal with them, and then not cover the expense of the ulcer. :)
Title: Wednesday funny
Post by: Airscrew on August 29, 2007, 02:25:04 PM
:rofl
Title: Wednesday funny
Post by: Shamus on August 29, 2007, 02:26:34 PM
hehe

shamus
Title: Wednesday funny
Post by: Ripsnort on August 29, 2007, 05:00:06 PM
:rofl :rofl  Sent to Harborview!