Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Jackal1 on October 06, 2007, 12:31:10 PM
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The main thing is.. whenever I get too full of myself and think I am this normal great citizen, father, whatever... I get a glace of myself in the mirror while getting dressed or taking a shower and go..."you aint foolin anyone.. I know who you are."
When I read this in the other thread I had to go back real quick and reread it just to be sure. Two days ago, in my back yard Me and the guy who has a reserved apartment in my mind for his return visits from where I`ve tried to leave him for those get real visits were having a little reality discussion a million miles away. A lot of those memories from different times , places and time stopping grind or be ground situations I`ve been in and survived in my past I had just as soon leave them where they fell.
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Part 2
Never works for long. Some time may pass, sometimes years..........then the person or circumstance that I knew would show up to put me somewhere I don`t want to be. Seems like the more you try to give them the hints that you aren`t interested in that little game, the more determined they seem to put you there. From hints to just plain don`t go there.....to indepth you don`t want me there and I damn sure don`t want you to put me there history lessons from my past to you are a minor annoyance compared to the one way out paths I`ve encountered way back down the road scenes................to no overlooking it and no avoiding it.
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Part 3
Game time............ were here by your choice and stupidity......leave now or it`s my finish. Seems they always play the I`m BS and you are too game....and believe it. Just got to push it to the point of taking it to the point of no return thinking the old guy and his short little quiet wife couldn`t have been and aren`t now anything but what they are. BSers that never dealt with any situation much hairier than a disgruntled Wally World parking lot tantrum. Truth is, most of these types won`t ever see a time they have to do or die situation. They will keep on until they BS and loud mouth their way into a grave.
That`s pretty much the push/pull little battle me and the real me were having when the wife was making her plant watering rounds and asked me where I was.
I told her that the old me was having a little battle....and as always he had just won. She said she was proud that I had finaly figured it out because she had known for a while now I was back in the old mode. No joy for any length of time. Alert, grouchy and waiting for the next circus trick from the newest moron. Damn women. :)
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Part 4
I have tried a little of everything to be someone else at different times. Tried a little of everything job wise, different than what is the norm for me and what I like to leave "me" behind. Never lasted long. I`m just me.
In the 80s I got called into a meeting by a personal friend of my Dad`s that was the top director of a Grain/fertilizer/feed production and farm supply complex in two cities.
The nearest to my home was getting ripped off regularly to the tune of 5, 10, 15 ,20 grand a month. It was located in an old section on the edge of the city that you didn`t want to get caught in after dark. He had hired 2 or 3 to stop the gravy train. The longest one lasted was 2 days. Would I do it? Not trying to say I was some invincible power ranger....he just knew I had the right amount of insanity to go for it. :)
Quit a better paying , family man job donned my "Whoo Hoo I`m gonna get paid for this" armor and trotted into the playground.
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You dozed off yet.......................... ...
Caught the petty ones on top of the elevators going in by the way of a 100 foot rusted latter that had been there since 49. Caught them in the underground tunnels for the convayer belts that go under the street that connect the bins. Caught them at the fertilizer plant stealing a little bit of everything.
In the sore, production, warehouses offices.....everywhere.
then I got the two money guys that were supposed to be the bean counters rigging the books and weight tickets to set up a couple of upstanding truck owners for the truck loads of bulk grain that were rolling out on a regular basis.What fun. Then the big nothingness as I was known to be there. Come in, put on a pot of coffee and CRAsh a couple of stories up. WhooHoo.the chase is on through that section, across the passageway above the railroad into production, back to the back and he was out and open window 20 or so feet above the ground. Would have bought that guy dinner. :)
Starting back through I noticed the strong smell of garlic. Little piles of pellets scattered everywhere in various states of decomposure. Hydrogen Phosphide. No signs as required, no seals, not even a note left for me or anyone who had to enter.
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:confused:
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The movie will be out later in the year............
I`m a long way to fresh air. Made it foaming puking and blind. Took about a year to get to the point that I could make the journey to the tree in the yard and back. Lost everything. Within two more I could do something in short bursts. Bought some land, a house and built a welding shop so I could work at my pace. No more adrenlin junky. Mr. Norm for the duration. :)
Wife got cancer. Lost the land /house/property and two more businesses in the process. We saved what really mattered and that was her.
The discs in my neck started to stack one by one shortly after.
Eat crow for as long as I can, pull a rabbit out of my hat and get the place here on the lake tucked away from the rest of the world.
Tinker with my Harley stuff selling. Build a pond or two at my own pace. Dredge coves. Feed cows of my friends and become the guy they didn`t want to see coming in the middle of the night in the park while my friend was recovering from a stroke. Got rid of a low life crank dealer resident that was dealing to kids. A little of the old stuff, but pretty laid back old guy tinering.
Happy as a lark. Gonna sit back and be boring and happy for what`s left of it.
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I`m too cheap to pay the postage for a letter to Laz.......................... .
Then some of you may remember the day to day saga reports
When the 7 day a week, loud mouthed neighbor who was fresh from the "Aint got a clue" Unit of our fine Texas TDC system for the 7th or so time worked his way in under the guise of repair man/house sitter for free next door.
Escalated from a never ending around the clock inbred drunk idiot convention to night long battles with his sloppy drunk girfriend, onward to filling the yard up with other peoples property in the middle of the night right down to you better not get drunk enough to cross this chalk line time.
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I pulled up crow to eat from out of the blue trying to find anyway of doing what had to be done the citizen type procedure thingy. I worked with the landlord to get him out. He intimidated him...refused to leave. I nearly blew the speakers out ot the TV trying to drowned him out in my house. I was on hand for a witness when the SD arrived the day the landlord called them due to the gun battle. I watched him get in one deputy`s face screaming and ranting pointing over at me as the guy full of ........well you know. He was total innocent of everything as he explained as he screamed in one of the deputies faces , calling him different versions of things that I had forgotten, all the while punching the deputy in the chest backing him across the road into a chain link fence, while the back up deputy leaned against his squad car. Couldn`t believe it.
Both squad cars pulled the few feet to my driveway to get my info............I thought. I told them I had had it. I`ll sign the complaint and go to court. Just get him out of here before.
I was told if one more phone complaint came in from him, they were coming directly to my house to arrest me. Also threatened to cuff my wife on the spot because she interupted his BS speech with a question.
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The new old guy citizen person was getting a little tired. Talked to the Sherrif, the JP. Was told I might want to consider moving. Ummmm..Hmmmmm.
Heard the yelling threats on me , my wife, burning my house, boat car.
Spent most nights guarding my perimeter.
Took my wife to the emergency room for total collapse due to stress.
Paced the floor until 2AM trying to talk myself out of it.
I was back without a doubt. I had embarrassed the old me.
Out the door, around the house up to the open glass window he was screaming out of. Coming out or I`m coming in. No choice.
Him or his vehicle were not around the next morning and his stuff got moved.
Now the latest, just when I was about ready put the tree swing up for the old folks sessions.
This one spent two days circling telling my friends that he was on the way to put me in the hospital.
About lost my patience.
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He finaly came after he had been to my neighbors house to tell him I had better do what he wanted or he was coming over with his young, bad *** to put me in the wheelchair. Neighbor told him I was home. Go ahead. By the time he knocked on the door my neighbor was on the way to get Old Bessy in his bedroom for my backup. :)
Old Jack graciously accepted his invitaion outside. He was in full rage with threats and what he was going to do to me and also destroy the new building that I keep my Harley in. He was coming after me going backwards as I kept coming across the deck. He went backwards down three steps and a few more toward the road.
Told him to stfu talking and come get it. No choices, no outs for his pride. If he thought he could enter the old mans world that he knew nothing about and survive long enough to make it the number of steps he had walked backwards..go for it. I`m old slow and broke. He just might nearly get to me but he couldn`t BS me to death when he made it.
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Gave him a 30 second time frame to go one way or the other. Get a brief glimpse of reality before you make your exit.
He chose the latter.
He was out of sight for about a week. Now he has been circling at a distance late at night, but hadn`t talked himself into it yet.
I`m pretty sure he won`t be able to live with himself and his ego. I know the type. Matter of time. Same old crap.
Hi, I`m Jack. The old fart that wants the young wannabe loudmouths not to do this.
Whatever.................I can`t be nothing but me. I don`t kiss noones behind for anything. I`m a pretty good guy in my opinion, but I`m still here.
Yea Laz.......I think I know where you are coming from. :)
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Sorry..no judo or karate drama, no butt crack knives or rampaging attack deer.
Just an old farts boring life story. :)
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Jack
:aok
Mac
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Never mess with an old guy.
No chest thumpin, no BS, no 'fight'..
..we'll just kill 'em.
'I was in fear of my life, Officer, I thought he had a gun.'
-GE aka Frank
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Originally posted by Grayeagle
Never mess with an old guy.
No chest thumpin, no BS, no 'fight'..
..we'll just kill 'em.
'I was in fear of my life, Officer, I thought he had a gun.'
-GE aka Frank
:D
They can swing through the trees like Tarzan if that`s what they think they need to do. Hold their breath and turn blue, kick scream, whatever. As long as they do it somewhere else. I could care less. When they start tripping around on my property and become a threat to my property and my family, then it`s my ballgame.
I`ve always been touchy like that. :)
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no friggin way am I gonna be that honest here.
from me... it would all be bs anyway.. yep.. I said that. My son wanted me to write a book.. he lived some of what I was going through but fortunately...was raised by the first ex... he came out great. I have always had an excuse to not write it down..
first it was the "too many people still alive who you can't really write about" then it was... "can't really say the things that were done"
but in the end... an author is a liar.. a clever one. I would be a liar too. I would make myself look better than I was.. I would be braver and more noble.
Trying to hide from who you are.. the daughter came after I moved away from it.. her and her friend would seen an old guy with some strange tats and even stranger ideas... they knew.. they knew about the past in some way... But it didn't fit the guy raising the daughter with a decent job.
The past came home one night.. two friends and partners from the past.. They were still living the life... they were still living their code.. they thought they were being secretive and respectful in front of the girls but.. they girls were scared witless.. couldn't even talk the whole time just stared at these guys.. these middle aged men with sleeved out tats and looking and sounding like 45 years of bad road.
but the thing that did it was what they didn't register at the time... that I was treating these guys like they annoyed me and with some aggression.. telling em to go #### themselves in the end.. and they were backing off.. it was old stuff it was easy to slip back into it... it is harder to expalin.
a few years later... losing my temper and dragging a mouthy boyfriend of theirs out of his car by the hair through his rolled down drivers side window. He understood.. men figure that stuff out.. don't matter what you are wearing or what you thought of someone before... when they drag you out of the car by the hair you get the idea.
All for nothing really. in the end.. the facade didn't overcome the genetics or.. maybe I just couldn't figure out how to raise the damn kid... she didn't turn out happily ever after like the boy.
no one blames me but... hell... you are who you are.
Is it a better life now? well... sure...I guess so but.. To pretend that the roller coaster of drugs and women and pure supercharged adreniline was not "fun" back in the day...well.. it is all BS... you can't tell your past.. even to yourself without a layer of BS.
The tats.. that was the subject.. the tats kinda work like the scars.. they cut through the biggest bunch of the bs we tell ourselves...
Sorta like finding an old picture of yourself with a disco belt and shirt I would imagine.
lazs
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Originally posted by lazs2
no friggin way am I gonna be that honest here.
Hehe. That was just the highlights intermingled with what I don`t have to tell you. I don`t have to because you lived it yourself, just in a different place.
It would go over the masses heads anyway. I`m pretty sure you can read between the lines anyway. :)
It comes back occasionaly as you said.
a few years later... losing my temper and dragging a mouthy boyfriend of theirs out of his car by the hair through his rolled down drivers side window. He understood.. men figure that stuff out.. don't matter what you are wearing or what you thought of someone before... when they drag you out of the car by the hair you get the idea.
Gave one a very unpleasant ride in the back of his pickup one morning..........his pickup. He also didn`t realize he could fly until a couple of nights later.
There was one story that I got a kick out of when my daughters were young.
They had been going to a local church for quite some time for Sunday school.
Their Sunday school teacher, I guess was trying to impress good and evil on them. She asked them what they would think and do if a bunch of bearded, leather clad bikers all of a sudden showed up at the church. My next to the oldest said she would be veeeeerrrrry happy and got all excited. It confused the teacher and she didn`t really know where to go from there, so she asked her what she meant by that. My daughter, as young as she was explained that it would probably be her Dad and a bunch of his friends.
They learned a good lesson that day I think. They still laugh about it when we all get together.
I just pretty much play it by ear now. When the times comes I deal with them as they come. Other than that, I sort of like to be the guy around here that does my own thing and the one most come to if they need some help.
I`ve got myself convinced I`m a pretty good guy in most times.
I still do the Harley thing, but it is just my passion now. Always has been.
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All the things I got passionate about just dont matter much these days.
I just try to be good at what's in front of me these days.. day by day.
Frankly ..it's harder as the days go by.
This whole gettin old thing is *not* for sissies.
Not the least of which is hearin some young punk mouth off in complete ignorance ..if a clue found him it would blind him.
I try to keep my trap shut and let ignorance go.
Mostly I succeed.
Mostly.
Sometimes .. ya,
.. sometimes I roll over it like a tide.
Not as often as I useda.
The warrior in me is dimming as I care for those who really are in dire straits. Tempests in teacups just dont draw me in like they useda.
I still uncork the Vette off a stoplight now an then ..sometimes when its just me ... just to hear the engine roar and know what's what.
I smile .. remembering all the other times and places.
I need to do that after a 'day' now and then.
-Frank aka GE, nurse.
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Hehe.
I was thinking of pulling this thread up for the latest update a couple of times, then said screw it, it wouldn`t be interesting to anyone but me.
Pretty much what you said I think is what a most of us men who haven`t lived the sheltered life go through and change with as we get older to some extent.
Nothing left to prove and bigger issues with life in general. Age and wisdom for most. Let the unimportant stuff slide and get on with living.
It`s the ones who push the limit and step over the boundaries , such as described earlier, that gives the trouble for some of us. Different lifestyles as a whole I suppose.
Anywhooooooo......for the latest update on the latest idiot in question. :)
I had met the chick the cat was running with . Got a kick out of her. One of the guys around here mistook her accent as deep south. I had to tell him it was not. It is a forced accent. I call it the white girl that`s been runnin in da hood accent. :)
I noticed the circling had stopped from the idiot and sort of wondered what was up. A guy that worked with him at one time gave me the scoop.
The moron attacked this chick and screwed the pooch. He ended up with a mouth full of 44 barrel and then proceeded to get the living poo beat out of him.
Don`t mess with the chick from da hood. :rofl
That`s twice he`s been extremely deflated in a short period of time.
Most would learn from this, but on this one I seriously doubt it.