Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Tigeress on October 13, 2007, 05:31:55 PM
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Can't let Dred get away scott free with his Rules for Women.
Soo... here, again, is a very shrot list for all you men.
Although not all inclusive, it will get you started.
You may have seen it before but we know how forgetful you are.
There will be a pop quiz later.
TIGERESS
Rules For Men
1. Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad.
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
15. Her cooking is excellent.
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dishsoap is your friend.
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"
22. Two words: clean socks.
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You're wrong.
26. You're sorry.
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football.
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
41. Always, always suck up to her brother.
42. Think boxers.
43. Silk boxers.
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names.
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.
46. Her haircut is never bad.
47. Don't let your friends pick on her, ever.
48. Do not pass wind under the blankets then hold the blankets over her head and laugh. You will eventually have to go to sleep and you may wakeup wearing make-up... with show-and-tell photos on her cell phone.
49. Call.
50. Don't lie.
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your bellybutton smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything.
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^ 50 good reasons to live alone, if you're a heterosexual man.
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Originally posted by Tigeress
Can't let Dred get away scott free with his Rules for Women.
Soo... here, again, is a very shrot list for all you men.
Although not all inclusive, it will get you started.
You may have seen it before but we know how forgetful you are.
There will be a pop quiz later.
TIGERESS
Rules For Men
1. Call.
She calls me
2. Don't lie.
5th amendment
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
What if she enjoys it
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
She doesn't play this game
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
I'd take her with me
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
Isn't this in conflict with #2?
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
Why? she does
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad.
Nothing is better :D
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
Cooking for her is best
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
Agree
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad.
I call her a lot of dirty names ;)
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
What about spanking?
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
WRONG!!!! (see rule 2)
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
Truth
15. Her cooking is excellent.
She doesn't
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
I do
17. Dishsoap is your friend.
So is Bleach, Comet, and Pine sol
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
Agree...
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
There are exceptions to the rule
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.
I ask HER that question
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"'
Your girlfriends :D
22. Two words: clean socks.
What are socks?
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
She is, according to her
24. Burping is not sexy.
Tell her that
25. You're wrong.
Always
26. You're sorry.
If it will end the argument and allow me to fly then yes.. I'm sorry
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is.
Her car is cooler than mine
28. Ditto for your discourse on football.
She likes it better than me
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
Do people really do this?
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.
Done
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
Most of them are blamed on it though
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
No !@#%%!
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
Two way street
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
*vomits*
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever
Why? she's scarier than I am
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
Yes they are
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
Where'd she go?
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
Not happening
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
True
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
I do
41. Always, always suck up to her brother.
Ummm no... I think of them as brothers and if they're being sweethearts I'll tell them so
42. Think boxers.
Think commando
43. Silk boxers.
See above
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names.
How about treating every day as valentines day?
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.
I like her undressed better :t
46. Her haircut is never bad.
When it burned off after a bad dye job it was and we both knew it
47. Don't let your friends pick on her, ever.
My friends are smarter than that.. she'd kick their tulips
48. Do not pass wind under the blankets then hold the blankets over her head and laugh. You will eventually have to go to sleep and you may wakeup wearing make-up... with show-and-tell photos on her cell phone.
She does
49. Call.
We've been over this (see #1)
50. Don't lie.
*sticks a #2 pencil under fingernails..
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your bellybutton smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything.
She did all of that stuff before I met her.. if she comes up in that condition again I'm going to kill a urologist or have a LOT of questions for her :D
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41. Always, always suck up to her brother.
Her brother is an idiot:D
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Rule #2 is often in conflict with #6, 7, 14, 15, 25, 26, and #46.
Wonder why women tend to confuse the heck outa us guys?
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3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
Are you sure about that rule? What about rope?
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Dicho, i just noticed that you posted comments to all in your quote! :)
LOL. Good stuff.
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
She did all of that stuff before I met her.. if she comes up in that condition again I'm going to kill a urologist or have a LOT of questions for her :D
Dichotomy,
You had me in stitches the entire way through the list. :rofl
My BS detector did not even beep.
Your entry into Heaven is assured...
She is a lucky girl.
TIGERESS
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Do what?
Sorry, I didnt hear you. I was watching TV :D
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Kentucky / LSU wad?
Tigress / TXmom.. They were all true.. LOL
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Originally posted by Tigeress
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
Then you've never been properly kissed. :noid
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36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
Chivalry : The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
Gallantry: polite attentiveness to women
Feminism: the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
(dictionary.com)
True.
However, feminists also expect men to continue to be chivalrous to women at the same time.
Sort of like Quebec wanting to be independent yet demanding Canada still subsize/cater to their needs.
I had a classmate in college who was all pro-feminist and constantly whined about how unfair it was that men get to do this and that... then had the gall to tell me I was being rude by not opening the door for her.
Women...
:t :p
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
Kentucky / LSU wad?
Do what?
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The name for #48 is a Dutch Oven... It is quite amusing.
:)
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Originally posted by Tigeress
Soo... here, again, is a very shrot list for all you men.
Shrot? That was *not shrot! ;)
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Originally posted by Meatwad
Do what?
Were you watching the game?
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I sure wish you'd add a few tidbits on "Dealing with ex-husband" and "Ex who tries to play Super Dad every 9 weeks" The kids ain't buying it and nor are we. Oh, and pay your ridiculously low child support.
Grumble grumble.
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Originally posted by john9001
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
Are you sure about that rule? What about rope?
Thanks for the suggestion... I'll add no rope to that rule :D
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Arlo
Shrot? That was *not shrot! ;)
Ahhh... but it is a shrot list, you should see the unpublished one! :rofl :rofl :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by TalonX
The name for #48 is a Dutch Oven... It is quite amusing.
:)
I am sure your buddies would really enjoy having a photo of you with red lipstick and blush to pass around! :O
hahahahahahaha :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Tac
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
Chivalry : The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
Gallantry: polite attentiveness to women
Feminism: the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
(dictionary.com)
True.
However, feminists also expect men to continue to be chivalrous to women at the same time.
Sort of like Quebec wanting to be independent yet demanding Canada still subsize/cater to their needs.
I had a classmate in college who was all pro-feminist and constantly whined about how unfair it was that men get to do this and that... then had the gall to tell me I was being rude by not opening the door for her.
Women...
:t :p
uh huh, well all I can say is... she doesn't want to be treated like a guy, and... she doesn't want to be treated like a barbie doll.
She is young... we have our powers... she will soon catch on. teehee :D
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by E25280
Then you've never been properly kissed. :noid
ohhhhh... I think I have! :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Flatbar
Rule #2 is often in conflict with #6, 7, 14, 15, 25, 26, and #46.
Wonder why women tend to confuse the heck outa us guys?
So literal!!
We dont want you to lie... tell us we are beautiful and mean it!
knock knock... hello? McFly???
hahahahahahahahahahaha :rofl :rofl :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by LePaul
I sure wish you'd add a few tidbits on "Dealing with ex-husband" and "Ex who tries to play Super Dad every 9 weeks" The kids ain't buying it and nor are we. Oh, and pay your ridiculously low child support.
Grumble grumble.
awwww... there is a whole other list of rules... just for EXs :)
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by bj229r
Her brother is an idiot:D
So? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
If he is an idiot, she knew it long before you did ;) ...just dont treat him like one! :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Dichotomy
Were you watching the game?
Nope I dont watch football or basketball
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too many rules.
That is why the "never have a girlfriend who lives closer than 50 miles away" rule works so well.
lazs
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:lol Yep.. Saw the wall of text and stopped reading before the end of the first line.
No rules are needed, just know what you want and go for it.
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If the rules were spoken to me I woulda glazed over after about the first 200 or so.... an occassional "uh huh" so I wouldn't have to hear... "are you listening to me?"
lazs
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Why even stand around to hear it? ... :p
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ahhh.. there is the rub... often it comes during a long drive to someplace.
It takes real courage to not just drive the car into a bridge abutment at 100 mph at such times.
lazs
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Originally posted by moot
Why even stand around to hear it? ... :p
Why, he asks?? To assure us that you will never escape... The Tender Trap :) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUBU9CvkyJo)
Cause... we love you guys... scratching, belches, dutch ovens... and all. ;)
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Tigeress
So literal!!
We dont want you to lie... tell us we are beautiful and mean it!
knock knock... hello? McFly???
hahahahahahahahahahaha :rofl :rofl :rofl
TIGERESS
So, you want us to lie like we mean it?
Gotcha....< walks away mumbling about the lack of truthiness these days >
The wife and I have one rule that must be followed, no lying allowed. She may not be the most beautiful, intelligent or emotionaly stable person I've met, but to me she's a gem...that's no lie!
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If that's all true Tigress, then women want, and expect way too much, and give far too little in return.
If men had this many requirements, then it would only be the strippers that could ever tolerate them.
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nope.. never lie... I tell my girlfriend that "no... it is not those pants that make your butt look big it is all the second helpings of food you eat... good thing I like big butts on women.."
lazs
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Cant let this go unresponded to.
So..point for point LOL
1. Call. -Check
2. Don't lie. -Check
3. Never tape any of her body parts together. - I prefer to use rope or restraints.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls. -Depends on the type of fun we're having
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting. -Dont do strip clubs so no problem there
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes." - Never ask questions you dont want an honest answer to
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?" -Ditto for the answer
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad. - Depends what it is we are wanting you to wear. Fredricks has a better corset collection
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad. -Depends on what it is your telling her she wants LOL
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad. -Agreed
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad. -Depends on your attitude at the moment
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.- Yes, Yes, and depends on the type and reason for the slapping. But yes, slapping out of anger is bad
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question. - ok
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed. -Be nicer and better in bed and two of those three will never be an issue. We cant help pretty
15. Her cooking is excellent. - LOL not if it sucks. If it does then hers does because I'll be doing all the cooking
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking. - That's ok I enjoy cooking
17. Dishsoap is your friend. - The dishwasher is an even better one
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean. - ok
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay. - No but it is the expected prelude to foreplay. Foreplay should last much longer then dinner did
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation. - LOL ok
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?" -I dont like lipstick either
22. Two words: clean socks. - NP
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.- Rarely get drunk, Much rather get you drunk. Your much more co operative that way LOL
24. Burping is not sexy. - No but it is sometimes necessary
25. You're wrong. - LMAO! Wrong answer. try again
26. You're sorry. -Depends on what it is I've supposedly done
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is. -Good cause I dont have a cool car.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football. - Depending on who is on. football trumps almost anything. Use those times for your girls day/night out (see guys night out having fun)
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound. - Found that fun. 20 years ago
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad. -HAHAHA to the first. Not likely. to the second. ehhhhhh maybe if you catch me in a weak moment
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood. - Why when it usually is?
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist. - Exactly one of the big reasons for my answer to #30
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice. - so long as you remember the same thing goes for us
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue. - Agreed
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever - No prob
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive. - Depends on the woman and her attitude
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it. - NP
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you. - NP but the same holds true for you as well
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't. - Never have. never would
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often. - NP
41. Always, always suck up to her brother. - LMAO. that depends on her brothers attitude.
but as a rule I never "suck up" to anybody
42. Think boxers. - Rather think
"nothing"
43. Silk boxers. - Only in the bedroom...occasionally
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names. -would rather forget the commercialism and remember every day or "just because" instead
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses. - In public. never. in the bedroom.occasionally
46. Her haircut is never bad. - Dont get a bad haircut and I wont tell you its bad. If it is, expect to hear about it
47. Don't let your friends pick on her, ever.- Eh, ok but it depends on the friends and what it is , and in what manner they are picking on you about.
48. Do not pass wind under the blankets then hold the blankets over her head and laugh. You will eventually have to go to sleep and you may wakeup wearing make-up... with show-and-tell photos on her cell phone. -I dont do that anyay. so no NP there
49. Call.
50. Don't lie. - we covered these two already
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your bellybutton smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. - Exactly. the rules are not fair. Just make sure you remember that. LOL
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Originally posted by Tigeress
Thanks for the suggestion... I'll add no rope to that rule :D
TIGERESS
then you have never been properly tied :D
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rules for women
1. Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Never use super glue on any part of his body.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, please understand that you may not enjoy farting, scratching and cussing at umpires. Of course if you do, that’s great.
5. If the girl’s night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. If you have to ask "Do I look fat?" the answer is yes. Fake confidence if you do not possess it.
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?" Fake confidence if you do not possess it.
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad. Bad girls are good, good girls are good. Have fun, fake confidence if you do not possess it.
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad. Don’t say, “Get off you lazy ass, I don’t care if the Patriots are playing Dallas, the leaves need to be raked” if you don’t want to be called a nag.
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question, but can be completely descriptive of the importance of the question.
14. None of your ex-boyfriends were ever nicer, bigger, or better in bed.
15. Her cooking is excellent, and so is his.
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dishsoap is your friend.
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation, but can be completely descriptive of the importance of the question.
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You're wrong.
26. You're sorry.
27. While you think you are less impressed by his discourse on cool cars than you might be, hot chicks tend to congregate around Corvettes, not Gremlins.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football although for some reason, many women have mentioned Tom Brady’s ass.
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound, but thank you for changing that light bulb I couldn’t reach.
30. a. "Will you marry me?" is good. b. "Let's shack up together" is better, c. “My girlfriend would like to have sex with us” is best.
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood, it is just 84.35%.
32. Don't use PMS as an excuse.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence may be completely descriptive of the importance of the situation.
35. Never decide to walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever
36. Respect goes both ways
45. Don't try to change the way he dresses.
46. If you have to ask, your haircut is bad. But fake confidence if you do not possess it.
47. Don't let your friends pick on him, ever.
49. Call.
50. Don't lie.
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that you have to go through labor while he sits in the waiting room on his bellybutton (as though any one ever sat on something else) smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. Unless he has to coach your breathing and capture the whole thing on video.
50-a.-a Speaking of video, it is a must for 30 c.
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Holden & Dred, those were funny :)
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Rules for women.
Get on
Hold tight
Shut up
:D
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35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever
shes not worried about it she has her CHL's and a 8oz can of OC spray plus she also carrys a Kimber Life Act with her too another type of OC but its worse than a regular spray can.
Here is the link to the Life Act wonderfull stuff (http://www.life-act.com/)
:aok RED26
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I think I had the only girlfriend that would call BS on any set of rules. Someday I WILL find the SOB that killed her and show him Rule #1- Don't ever harm her or I WILL kill you.
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Originally posted by Neubob
If that's all true Tigress, then women want, and expect way too much, and give far too little in return.
If men had this many requirements, then it would only be the strippers that could ever tolerate them.
Bob,
I am afraid wantin and gettin are usually two different thangs... but it never hurts to ask! :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
then you have never been properly tied :D
mmmmmm... I'll take the Fifth :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Tigeress
mmmmmm... I'll take the Fifth :rofl
TIGERESS
Thought you might say that.
Which is why I'll take the liberty of taking rope off the list :p
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Cant let this go unresponded to.
So..point for point LOL
1. Call. -Check
2. Don't lie. -Check
3. Never tape any of her body parts together. - I prefer to use rope or restraints.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls. -Depends on the type of fun we're having
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting. -Dont do strip clubs so no problem there
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes." - Never ask questions you dont want an honest answer to
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?" -Ditto for the answer
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad. - Depends what it is we are wanting you to wear. Fredricks has a better corset collection
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad. -Depends on what it is your telling her she wants LOL
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad. -Agreed
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad. -Depends on your attitude at the moment
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.- Yes, Yes, and depends on the type and reason for the slapping. But yes, slapping out of anger is bad
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question. - ok
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed. -Be nicer and better in bed and two of those three will never be an issue. We cant help pretty
15. Her cooking is excellent. - LOL not if it sucks. If it does then hers does because I'll be doing all the cooking
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking. - That's ok I enjoy cooking
17. Dishsoap is your friend. - The dishwasher is an even better one
18. Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean. - ok
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay. - No but it is the expected prelude to foreplay. Foreplay should last much longer then dinner did
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation. - LOL ok
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?" -I dont like lipstick either
22. Two words: clean socks. - NP
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.- Rarely get drunk, Much rather get you drunk. Your much more co operative that way LOL
24. Burping is not sexy. - No but it is sometimes necessary
25. You're wrong. - LMAO! Wrong answer. try again
26. You're sorry. -Depends on what it is I've supposedly done
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is. -Good cause I dont have a cool car.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football. - Depending on who is on. football trumps almost anything. Use those times for your girls day/night out (see guys night out having fun)
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound. - Found that fun. 20 years ago
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad. -HAHAHA to the first. Not likely. to the second. ehhhhhh maybe if you catch me in a weak moment
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood. - Why when it usually is?
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist. - Exactly one of the big reasons for my answer to #30
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice. - so long as you remember the same thing goes for us
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue. - Agreed
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever - No prob
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive. - Depends on the woman and her attitude
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it. - NP
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you. - NP but the same holds true for you as well
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't. - Never have. never would
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often. - NP
41. Always, always suck up to her brother. - LMAO. that depends on her brothers attitude.
but as a rule I never "suck up" to anybody
42. Think boxers. - Rather think
"nothing"
43. Silk boxers. - Only in the bedroom...occasionally
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names. -would rather forget the commercialism and remember every day or "just because" instead
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses. - In public. never. in the bedroom.occasionally
46. Her haircut is never bad. - Dont get a bad haircut and I wont tell you its bad. If it is, expect to hear about it
47. Don't let your friends pick on her, ever.- Eh, ok but it depends on the friends and what it is , and in what manner they are picking on you about.
48. Do not pass wind under the blankets then hold the blankets over her head and laugh. You will eventually have to go to sleep and you may wakeup wearing make-up... with show-and-tell photos on her cell phone. -I dont do that anyay. so no NP there
49. Call.
50. Don't lie. - we covered these two already
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your bellybutton smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. - Exactly. the rules are not fair. Just make sure you remember that. LOL
Very cute! Again my BS detector didn't chirp. :rofl :rofl :rofl
Heaven has a place for you.
TIGERESS
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A few comments ;)
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad. Don’t say, “Get off you lazy ass, I don’t care if the Patriots are playing Dallas, the leaves need to be raked” if you don’t want to be called a nag.
Agreed, learned that one long ago. edit: ...oh and remember to get your work done before play time then you can relax in peace. :)
28. Ditto for your discourse on football although for some reason, many women have mentioned Tom Brady’s ass.
mmmm... I will look for Tom Brady; thanks for the heads up :aok
30. a. "Will you marry me?" is good. b. "Let's shack up together" is better, c. “My girlfriend would like to have sex with us” is best.
...in your dreams, big boy. hahahahahahahaha
32. Don't use PMS as an excuse.
PMS is what it is... CheckSix hahahahahahaha
36. Respect goes both ways
Amen... Truer words were never spoken.
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that you have to go through labor while he sits in the waiting room on his bellybutton (as though any one ever sat on something else) smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. Unless he has to coach your breathing and capture the whole thing on video.
Thanks for being there... we really didn't mean to blame it all on you and shout four letter words at you for this... but it helped. Glad you understood :p
All in all very cute!!! You get a "get into heaven card", use it well! hugs
TIGERESS
Originally posted by Holden McGroin
rules for women
1. Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Never use super glue on any part of his body.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, please understand that you may not enjoy farting, scratching and cussing at umpires. Of course if you do, that’s great.
5. If the girl’s night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. If you have to ask "Do I look fat?" the answer is yes. Fake confidence if you do not possess it.
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?" Fake confidence if you do not possess it.
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad. Bad girls are good, good girls are good. Have fun, fake confidence if you do not possess it.
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Biatch" are bad. Don’t say, “Get off you lazy ass, I don’t care if the Patriots are playing Dallas, the leaves need to be raked” if you don’t want to be called a nag.
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question, but can be completely descriptive of the importance of the question.
14. None of your ex-boyfriends were ever nicer, bigger, or better in bed.
15. Her cooking is excellent, and so is his.
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dishsoap is your friend.
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation, but can be completely descriptive of the importance of the question.
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You're wrong.
26. You're sorry.
27. While you think you are less impressed by his discourse on cool cars than you might be, hot chicks tend to congregate around Corvettes, not Gremlins.
28. Ditto for your discourse on football although for some reason, many women have mentioned Tom Brady’s ass.
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound, but thank you for changing that light bulb I couldn’t reach.
30. a. "Will you marry me?" is good. b. "Let's shack up together" is better, c. “My girlfriend would like to have sex with us” is best.
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood, it is just 84.35%.
32. Don't use PMS as an excuse.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence may be completely descriptive of the importance of the situation.
35. Never decide to walk anywhere alone after sun down or before sun up. ever
36. Respect goes both ways
45. Don't try to change the way he dresses.
46. If you have to ask, your haircut is bad. But fake confidence if you do not possess it.
47. Don't let your friends pick on him, ever.
49. Call.
50. Don't lie.
50-a. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that you have to go through labor while he sits in the waiting room on his bellybutton (as though any one ever sat on something else) smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. Unless he has to coach your breathing and capture the whole thing on video.
50-a.-a Speaking of video, it is a must for 30 c.
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Originally posted by rpm
I think I had the only girlfriend that would call BS on any set of rules. Someday I WILL find the SOB that killed her and show him Rule #1- Don't ever harm her or I WILL kill you.
Very sorry to hear that RPM... but don't become the bad guy in the process of being the good guy. Let the authorities take him away... for good.
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Tigeress
Very cute! Again my BS detector didn't chirp. :rofl :rofl :rofl
Heaven has a place for you.
TIGERESS
I should think not. I would never BS about such a list
Heaven? Ehhh dont know if I'd want to go there. I hear they are too vanilla up there for my tastes.
Wont go to hell either.
The Devil is too much an amature.
Think I'll stay here for a while LOL
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
I should think not. I would never BS about such a list
Heaven? Ehhh dont know if I'd want to go there. I hear they are too vanilla up there for my tastes.
Wont go to hell either.
The Devil is too much an amature.
Think I'll stay here for a while LOL
hahahahaha :rofl "Bad Boyz, Bad Boyz, whatcha gonna dooooo?"
Oh, they do have a certian appeal :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Tigeress
hahahahaha :rofl "Bad Boyz, Bad Boyz, whatcha gonna dooooo?"
Oh, they do have a certian appeal :rofl
TIGERESS
I'd say. But cant here
Skuzzy might ban me for it LMAO
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Thought you might say that.
Which is why I'll take the liberty of taking rope off the list :p
Brat! :rofl
TIGERESS
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Originally posted by Tigeress
Brat! :rofl
TIGERESS
Cant,,or shouldnt respond to this one here either :D
---edit--
Perhaps I can
"And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection,"
:p
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Originally posted by DREDIOCK
Cant,,or shouldnt respond to this one here either :D
---edit--
Perhaps I can
"And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection,"
:p
Ahhh yes... Shakespeare. So beautiful...
TIGERESS