Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Swoop on December 11, 2007, 07:07:47 AM
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ok, so I'm trying to pull this bird (translation for 'Muricans: There is a young lady that I'm very interested in dating) and I'm having a blank moment over a golden opportunity.
She's an RSPCA inspector (note for 'Muricans: this means she investigates cases of animal cruelty and prosecutes bastards that put cats in microwaves, etc). Also part of the mountain rescue team (meaning she rescues sheep stuck on cliffsides, etc). We've got this jokey thing going where I think she should go to work wearing a purple tights and a cape.
Anyway.
I need a superhero name.....and motto. Like.....I dunno, The Pet Avenger - "Put down the kitten and step away from the microwave".
But classier. And cleverererer.
provider of the winning name/motto gets an invite to the wedding. ;)
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-8/48257/swoopxmas.gif)
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Originally posted by Swoop
prosecutes bastards that put cats in microwaves
guess that means you are just SOL.
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The Mauve Interdictor.
PS - I really don't see how this idea of yours will get you sex...
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Well, 'Ace Ventura, Pet Detective' has been taken.
"Grace Futura ... Critter Gitter"
And that's without the coffee yet...
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Need a first name Swoop.
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"Mighty Mindy"
"Saving the Planet, One Animal At A Time"
68ROX
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first off, is she related to you?
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Originally posted by storch
first off, is she related to you?
He is British, not Nebraskan.
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Originally posted by C(Sea)Bass
He is British, not Nebraskan.
little do you know
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Nah he's right, I am British. :p
Curv, Julie.
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-8/48257/swoopxmas.gif)
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Pet Emancipator Julie: Stopping jerks from treating animals cruelly.
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Pet Protector Julie: Better not treat your dog unruly.
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Animal Avenger Julie: She loves pets truly.
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Critter Comforter Julie: She looks great wearing lapis lazuli.
lols
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I adore Julie: if she would go out for coffee with me it would be....coolie?
heehee
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Personally I'll tell her theres no way I'd go down a cliff for a freaking sheep. Then tell her she's a nutcase for doing it. Then, I'd go on and tell her Im a hunter that actually specializes in blowing sheep off cliffsides with a .300 mag with 180 grn pills.
She may or may not be charmed but either way you wont be hung up over some nut who would rappel down a cliff for a bloody sheep.
Take Uncle Richs advice and never go so far out of your way for a woman, like trying to remake yourself. At last count theres about 4 billion out there many of which have enough sense not to climb down a cliff for a stupid bloody sheep that's just going to end up as someones dinner anyways.
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forget names.... just be honest and ask her to coffee. Maybe with a lead-in... (while your joking about the cape) "Hey you know I always wanted to sit and talk to a caped crusader.... you want to have coffee some time?"
If your actually interested in animals that would be a plus.
If you get to the coffee ask her about her job and listen.....
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Swoop: "Uh Julie...do you like...stuff?"
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Rich, he's just trying to tickle her humor. She makes his hair stand on-end, nothing demeaning about that...
Swoop, I have no suggestions (I'd have to see for myself to get any sort of accurate feeling for what would work), except that you just take it easy and let the inspiration come to you.
I usualy get the perfect solutions to problems like that in my sleep.
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Dude, in my experience, women who are active in the animal rights are dangerous for long term relationships. Shag her a few times and then cut out like a bad engine.
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Originally posted by moot
Rich, he's just trying to tickle her humor. She makes his hair stand on-end, nothing demeaning about that...
Swoop, I have no suggestions (I'd have to see for myself to get any sort of accurate feeling for what would work), except that you just take it easy and let the inspiration come to you.
I usualy get the perfect solutions to problems like that in my sleep.
Yes, I know that. And so does my dry sense of humor. I'd still tell her she's nuts for doing it. And no doubt she will realize it when her rope breaks, she's on her way to the ground 2,000' down, passes the stupid sheep on the cliff, who goes "Baaaaa", and then says to herself..."WTF am I doing trying to save this stupid bloody sheep"!
As long as they looked good, and shared my morality towards sinning outside marriage, I never demanded to much Intelligence from my girlfriends. But I never dated one dumb enough to rappel down a cliff for a bloody sheep. Listen to Uncle Rich on this.
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Yeah, great suggestion. :lol Swoop's guaranteed to get what he wants following that train of thought.
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Originally posted by Rich46yo
I never demanded to much Intelligence from my girlfriends.
I do.
That and (and I quote here) a wazzo pair of jugs.
Now lemme clarify something here, the chat up line part is already done. Asking her out for coffee (good grief man, coffee? sheesh) isn't an issue, this is just an extra bit of icing to massage her ego a bit. Well ok, a lot. ;)
Call me stupid if ya like but the idea of a rock climbing masked avenger with [best Cartman voice]Authoritaaaaaar[/best Cartman voice] is......well, it's tent city really.
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-8/48257/swoopxmas.gif)
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Originally posted by moot
Yeah, great suggestion. :lol Swoop's guaranteed to get what he wants following that train of thought.
I didn't finish. Then....ignore her enough for her to take it personal. Then one night when you see her in the gin mill squeeze some onions in your eyes to make yourself cry, and tell her some story how you had to put your dog down cause he was so sick. And later hit her with the, "I dont know how Im going to handle being alone tonight".
Thats guaranteed to get at least one shag from an animal lover. I used it all the time. I just wouldnt bring her into my trophy room with all the heads hanging off the walls.
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do you know if she requires any intelligence, cause you might have a problem;)
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Originally posted by C(Sea)Bass
He is British, not Nebraskan.
a nebraskan can post normally to a BBS without getting banned for the drama that you pulled numbnuts.
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paragon woman, the... exterminator.
*sigh* i suck at this stuff
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Originally posted by JB88
a nebraskan can post normally to a BBS without getting banned for the drama that you pulled numbnuts.
Forgive him, JB88. He's probably a product of our modern education system and doesn't realize he's off by 2 or 3 states to the north and west.
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Beastie Girl
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Originally posted by APDrone
Forgive him, JB88. He's probably a product of our modern education system and doesn't realize he's off by 2 or 3 states to the north and west.
i thought oklahoma was due south... hmmmm...
:cool:
(c'mon mac...bite that bait)
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Just remember not to wear your Micheal Vick jersey in her presence.
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Jules the Protector (insert picture in cape & tights, with a pug under her arm)
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The Sheep Whisperer
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Pet Cemeretan?
hmmm, probably not ;)
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I can`t come up with anything at the moment. I`m too upset by the mental image of sheep on a cliff.
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Originally posted by Swoop
ok, so I'm trying to pull this bird (translation for 'Muricans: There is a young lady that I'm very interested in dating) and I'm having a blank moment over a golden opportunity.
She's an RSPCA inspector (note for 'Muricans: this means she investigates cases of animal cruelty and prosecutes bastards that put cats in microwaves, etc). Also part of the mountain rescue team (meaning she rescues sheep stuck on cliffsides, etc). We've got this jokey thing going where I think she should go to work wearing a purple tights and a cape.
Anyway.
I need a superhero name.....and motto. Like.....I dunno, The Pet Avenger - "Put down the kitten and step away from the microwave".
But classier. And cleverererer.
provider of the winning name/motto gets an invite to the wedding. ;)
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-8/48257/swoopxmas.gif)
_(Girls Name Here)_ *whispering like Ace Ventura* pet detective!
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Julie...hmmm...nope nothing is coming for Julie.
Sorry man, I am all flued up right now and can't think about anything except getting home to bed. More thought required.
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Swoop, try to snag a picture. :D
Regards,
Subway
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Julinator -- pet harassa termiator
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Well I know your in England and I'm not sure how many westerns you get to see over there, (for you Brits a western is a movie about the old west here in Murica:D Think John Wayne)
BUT.......if she is into anything about horses and dogs and the like and that seems to be the case just order her one of these and give it to her as a present.
Gonna treat you like my dog (http://www.drysdales.com/Womens/Tops/T-Shirts/detail-4851-Treat-YouDog-T-shirt.html)
It's a good t-shirt for an animal lover and she would probably get a good laugh out of it. Also shows your into what she does for a living and she'll think of you everytime she wears it or sees it in her closet.
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Well Swoop, given the "nature" of your intentions, and pardon me if I'm wrong about that, I have the perfect superhero name for ya....providing, of course, that you have a little bit of Italian dna in your background:
Faunius Fornicatus.
Face it man.....it's YOU!
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don't try to play it cute, just ask her out to dinner.
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Of course there is always the "How you doooin:cool: "
- Joey Tribbiani, Friends (sitcom)
Then there is the slighty creepy
"Look its, don’t treat 'em cruelly, Julie"
And that my friends goes to show why I've been married for 16 years :aok :rofl
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Wait til she finds out the reason the sheep went up the cliff was to get away from you in the first place swoop....
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Dr. Doolittle comes to mind.
or..
The Pet enforcer!
The Pet Nazi!
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Originally posted by john9001
don't try to play it cute, just ask her out to dinner.
very good advice =)
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i would take her for a romantic dinner at Petstore, walk in the park urinate on the trees and sniff each other like dogs
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Originally posted by john9001
don't try to play it cute, just ask her out to dinner.
Originally posted by texasmom
very good advice =)
Ditto. Won't she be impressed when she Googles whatever name you come up with and is taken to this thread where she learns that your cleverness is actually the group effort of a few dozen stunted-growth middle-aged men who play video games.*
Ain't exactly Cyrano de Bergerac.
*myself included. ;)
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Show her your blow up sheep collection and tell her you love animals.
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Superheros tend to have alliteration in their names. Peter Parker is Spiderman, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, and Lana Lang in Superman,
Julie Justice and her Giant Jovial Jaguar.
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Originally posted by ghi
i would take her for a romantic dinner at Petstore, walk in the park urinate on the trees and sniff each other like dogs
:rofl :D
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Originally posted by ghi
i would take her for a romantic dinner at Petstore, walk in the park urinate on the trees and sniff each other like dogs
:rofl
GHI, get your butt back in the game. You are asked about daily and I must say that rumors abound about your whereabouts. You will be quite proud to know that yesterday when it was asked, "What happened to ghi?", I calmly straightened them out and told them you were in prison.....for sheep molestation. :)
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Oh god, Swoop is a 40 year old virgin.
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Forget the superhero stuff
Just tell her that while you may have the face of a mule. Your hung like a horse ,and can screw like a rabbit.
Then sing her the chorus lines to
THIS (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7823847158808861214&q=%22Julie%2CDo+Ya+Love+Me%22&total=3&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2)
And you'll be in like flint
:aok
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All you need is a good "Knock Knock " joke to break the ice. Here try this one.
You: "Knock Knock"
Julie: "Who's there?"
You: " I don't know Julie....wanna @&#k ?"
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Originally posted by Yknurd
Show her your blow up sheep collection and tell her you love animals.
ROFL! That will get her for sure !
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Update: No further advice or suggestions are required. Especially the advice.
All (and I really mean that) is good.
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-8/48257/swoopxmas.gif)
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did ya get the girl swoop?
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Yup :D.
Went with "The Julinator". And may I add......this rock climbing up cliffs to rescue sheep doesn't half give a woman a great arse!
(http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2002-8/48257/swoopxmas.gif)