Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: DiabloTX on December 31, 2007, 04:35:59 PM
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Prepare to be humiliated and humbled.
The one-person band...
Carry On Wayward Son (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pS5xzOWbwo)
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meh.
:D
(nice)
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:O dayum... i want one of those
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THIS is why people like elton john should be shot.
excellent talent...
but to dress like that? HORRIDO.
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did he just say "HORRIDO"?!
:huh
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Not much applause there, probably because all the other contestants that thought they had talent looked like this: :confused:
:lol
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Oh my God.... Wholly Sheeeeeeet...
WOW----------:confused:
:aok
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:O
WOW!!!!!!
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(prefaces: that 10yr old girl blew away anything I did in the story i'm about to tell, but the keyboard and elton john refrence just jarred a memory. She did indeed rock and that was very impressive)
I worked for a music shop in the mall when I was 16yrs old. You know the ones, w/ the person at the entrance blasting out ompa music on a organ that was just annoying. The store sold various band instruments, sheet music, guitars, keyboards, pianos, and their big moneymaker; organs.
I was hired to tune, maintain, and sell their guitars. I also gave piano lessons occasionally on the side.
(I was once almost killed by a Green Beret while working there, but that is another story... aw heck, I might as well tack that on to the end of this one)
Anyhoo, my "rule" was I would not front pump. EVER. The manager was "ok" w/ that and I was happy caring for my little corner of Gibson guitars.
"Front Pumping" is the industry tearm for the person blasting out annoying ompa music at the entrance. You see, old people love ompa music, and they were the "target" market for those types of stores, as organs are expensive, and it's the seniors who had the disposable income to purchcase said organs.
They would hear that music and flock to the store like sailers to a Siren.
I mostly tuned guitars, but I was also classically trained on the piano, so I would dabble with the full sized keyboards (Yamaha Clavinova's) and monkey around w/ all the Midi boxes we had for them.
One day we had a "Big Sale" and the owner was there. He owned a small chain of these stores. Most of the day had passed when he asked me why I had not taken my turn doing the "Front Pumping".
As politely as I could I explained that I do not "Front Pump".
He told me I would if I wanted my job.
So I drug one of the Yamaha keyboards to the entrance, and set it up with a bunch of Midi boxes and set it all up to play a tune I had been monkeyin' around with in my spare time.
I started playing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John. I had already pre-recorded the drums and a base line for the song. I added a full chorus and orchestra in the background as I played, and it sounded pretty friggin' awesome if I may say so myself.
I gathered a good sized crowd of 30-40 people around me who applauded and cheered when I was finished.
I was quite proud of myself and walked triumphantly back into the store towards the owner with a "oh yeah, i'm a stud" look on my face.
"How was that" I asked him.
"That was 'ok' I guess" he said. "Now go back out there and play me some "Oh When the Saints" on the organ.
(sigh) I was NOT friggin' playin' ompa music. I just walked out and quit.
(How Lute almost died =or= I was a really stupid teenager)
I was working @ that store one night when two military personell came in wearing full dress. We started talking, and I found out they were Green Beret's (tho' the Green Berets on their head were sort of a give away) and we discussed their military training.
The one REALLY bad arse lookin' one informed me that the physical training wasn't THAT hard, and how he was a multiple degree black belt in several martial arts before he enlisted, and he cruised thru the training. (which I find hard to believe)
He then went so far as to say he had to register his hands as "lethal weapons" and was unable to fight someone unless they used lethal force first. (had a gun, sword, etc)
So I clarified that. "No matter what, unless they have a gun, or a weapon, you can't touch them" I ask 'em.
"Correct son. I can't fight anybody who doesn't have a gun, or a weapon" he says getting a bit cocky.
"No matter what?" I ask.
"Nope, no matter what they do, if they don't have a weapon I can't respond" he reiterates, getting more and more cocky.
So I lean forward across the counter, gave him a pretty hard shove and called him a (insert slur word for a cat here).
He turned beet red and was litterally shaking and trembling with anger.
His buddy was laughing so hard he had to sit down on the floor. He probably laughed for ten min. straight while the whole time "mr. registered hands for weapons" just stood there glaring at me with death in his eyes.
He never came around and saw the humor in it, but his buddy sure did. He told me that was the funniest thing he ever saw and his bad arse friend will never live what just happened down back @ base.
Gawd I was a dumb kid.