Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: JB88 on January 03, 2008, 08:39:14 PM
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well. a good friend of my has been diagnosed with lung cancer.
pretty aggressive. long shot.
he has asked me to document it photographically from start to finish.
so. i began working on it this evening (shortly after he asked me) and i will be present for his first dose of chemo tommorrow afternoon.
when i think about art, i think about all of the things in this world that are true...or at least strive to be true...i've always thought of that as a part of the job. but i never imagined this...and i have to say, it's a bit scary. but that's the easy part...i can't possibly imagine what he is going through right now.
so he's a friend. of course i said yes. not a moments thought.
it's just that this is a long way from shooting portraits and i can't possibly imagine yet how to do this justice. but i guess there isn't a moment to think so...i must just do.
any words of wisdom here?
voices from the ether?
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You only live once..
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thats a very heavy responsibility. make sure you keep a diary
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I've always thought about how photographers out in battle can shoot crying children, or people in the process of dying such as bleed to death, or starving 3rd world nation children. I think they separate themselves emotionally and put themselves into a "3rd person perspective". This allows them to continue using their artistic talent to frame the shot just right to show the maxium emotional feelings at the time of the capture without becoming overwhelmed with the moment. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure they do this.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
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Man.
This is about as serious as it gets.
I mean, what are friends for, right?
Are you a photographer or a photojournalist? Didn't Peter Jennings do the same thing after his diagnosis?
Reminds me of one Kathleen McGrath. My ops boss on my ship, USS Concord, from about '89 - '90. She went on to become the first female CO of a surface combatant in the history of the US Navy. Total workout/health nut. Diagnosed with lung cancer, the aggressive form of it, and died very quickly.
http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/kmcgrath.htm
This is both an opportunity and a horrible thing to have to go through. I don't envy you 88, but do what you feel you must.
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Originally posted by JB88
well. a good friend of my has been diagnosed with lung cancer.
pretty aggressive. long shot.
he has asked me to document it photographically from start to finish.
so. i began working on it this evening (shortly after he asked me) and i will be present for his first dose of chemo tommorrow afternoon.
when i think about art, i think about all of the things in this world that are true...or at least strive to be true...i've always thought of that as a part of the job. but i never imagined this...and i have to say, it's a bit scary. but that's the easy part...i can't possibly imagine what he is going through right now.
so he's a friend. of course i said yes. not a moments thought.
it's just that this is a long way from shooting portraits and i can't possibly imagine yet how to do this justice. but i guess there isn't a moment to think so...i must just do.
any words of wisdom here?
voices from the ether?
I doubt anyone can prepare you for what you are about to go through. I have seen what you will, and it's definately a crappy hand to play. I, personally don't think I could do what your friend asks of you. You must be able to distance yourself from your feelings and detach from reality in a sense. I would also be a little unsure of why he would ask this of me, were I you. I'm a little unsure if he has completely thought about what a task such as this might do to you, emotionally.
Otherwise, steady hands, hope for the best, and prepare for what could be. You must always stand tough next to him, and don't crack.
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make your friend smile somehow everytime you see them and you will not fail the task requested of you. good luck and my sympathy for what is to come for you.
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88, I'm sure you'll do fine. I bet the comfort you give your friend and the time you spend with him will end up being what really matters to him.
You're a true friend for stepping up.
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Ted Koppel did a journalistic piece on his best friend's fight against cancer. I think it was on the Discovery Channel last year. Last I knew, the guy is still battling the cancer. But it was quite an insight, seeing the chemo process, etc.
You have a grim task ahead of you. I do not envy you. Good luck.
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Good luck 88 sir. Pain now for peace in the future.
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I've seen your photographic art 88, just do what you do.
My father-in-law was diagnosed with Lung Cancer in January 1999. He was 64. This man was a career plumber-pipe fitter. He worked at the Motorola plant here in Phoenix for 30 years taking care of their pipes. He was a hardworking, honest, trustworthy, genuine Korea Navy veteran. He had a keen sense of humor and knew just how to make you feel good about yourself. I watched cancer destroy someone who was bigger than life in my eyes. He had all of one lung removed and partial removal of the other. He had radiation done, no chemo. The cancer, we thought, was gone. Then in June (ish), he started having headaches and some light vision problems. Come to find out, the cancer had spread to his spine and traveled to his brain, mostly behind his eyes. He was completely incapacitated by early November. He passed peacefully in his sleep the day after Thanksgiving 1999.
I share that with you so that you can foresee a possible avenue that this venture may take. Not to drum sympathy for myself or my family (we know he is better off now) but to give you a possible window into your friends future. I would also think of your friends request as a silent, man-style communication that he would like you to be by his side while he endures this rough time in his life. That sounds like an honor.
Enjoy this time with your friend.
:)
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Man, suck to in your shoes right now.
My youngest sister was diagnosed with a Hotchkins lymphoma on her 21st Birthday. Fortunately it was treatable.
Al I can say is be honest, don't let your lens hide the hard stuff. Your work is exemplary and if anyone can do justice to a request like this, it is you.
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I'd say if it's his wish, then do it. That being said, don't do it with anything but the most focus and perseverance you've done with anything in your life. Nothing else compares.
-D
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Rolex.
I'm sorry if I offended you.
What I was trying to say was don't lie about it. Don't let the pictures show only the brave battler fighting the losing battle. I've seen so much sugar coated crap turned out on behalf of cancer sufferers it makes me angry.
I remember the fear of my sister when she was first told. I can still see her reduced from a fit competitive lifeguard to a mere shadow of herself by the chemo and radiotherapy. We were lucky she recovered to regain most of her former condition, though she still suffers from some side effects of the chemo years later and will now never have children.
If you are going to do something on request, give them every moment as it was.
People will remember the good times. Sometimes it takes a photograph to put that into perspective.
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I'd say the work would be best as a journal with images. Ask your friend to contribute to the project by writing a journal entry each day. You contribute a photo taken that day. Put together, this could be quite compelling.
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Wow,88. This is a hard core thing to do. I respect you for following your friend's wishes. I watched my first stepmother go thru 12 years of chemo with breast cancer in the late 60's - early 70's.
Even today I can walk blindfolded thru St.Joseph's Hospital in Ft.Worth altho it has been gone for 30 years. I know every step of every stairwell. 8th floor was Oncology, 4th floor was Medicine, Surgery on 5.
I've got to tell you it was pretty barbaric reatment back then. Watch an old episode of "Medical Center" or "Dr. Kildare" and you'll get the idea. Looks like voodoo compared to modern medicine.
Neva Nell went thru every available chemo there was on the market. After you finished one course of a drug, if it did'nt work you had to find a new one. It was'nt a smorgasbord of choices back then either. Soon, she finished every available drug. Time to try trips to Mexico for Laetrile. Time to enter clinical drug trials, a/k/a Guinea Pig.
Neva Nell eventually lost her battle with cancer, but hopefully she helped to save the lives of others and eventually win the war. But she paid a very high price for those last precious few years.
You do not have an easy road ahead of you. Take console in the fact that you are following the wishes of your friend and treatments are lightyears ahead of where they used to be. Maybe this set of photographs will help others to face things in the future.
<> My friend.
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I know you didn't intend to offend anyone, SK67. I deleted it because it's my cross to bear, not share.
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wow everyone...thanks for the thoughtful responses and support.
i'm still a bit light headed about this thing. it's just not something that i have had to deal with on this level before. it's nice to know that my family here is around to talk with about it.
all that i know at this stage is that it is not something that i can take lightly, but nor is it somethiing that i can allow to consume me either. it's a long walk for sure.
thanks again all.
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Actually, I think you should take the opposite approach of what most have suggested. Instead of detaching yourself, you should be a friend and document his journey for him with pride. I'm not saying it won't be hard for the both of you, but for better or worse, this is life and you can provide a perspective of his life for all to see. He's honored you with sharing, just accept that honor, be a friend, and do your best.
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i agree goth...it's just that i am not going to be doing anyone a service if i allow my emotions to get the best of me on this one. that is not to say that i won't be a friend...i am that first. yes, it is an honor, this is true, but i cannot fulfill his request if i cannot do what he asks. i know that i am not going to want to...yet he has asked me to do it. i guess my point is that it won't do me a lick of good if i am being so emotional that i can't point the camera and shoot it. but that's not really what i'd like to be doing. i'd rather not have to. but that's not my choice. it is his, and i will honor it to the best of my abilities.
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It sorta reminds me of a documentary I watched late one night on PBS about 15 years ago. It was called Silverlake Life or something to that effect. Was two gay guys who were dying from AIDS and they decided to document their final years together. Was both fascinating and hard to watch but I didn't turn the TV off. In the end I was amazed at their conviction in meeting death. I hope to be able to be that strong when my day comes.
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JB88,
First off you should feel honored that you were invited to what may be the last of your friend's life. His wanting to share that with you is a great testament to your friendship.
I would advise not concentrating on the travails of the disease to the exclusion of his willingness to continue to live his life. The pix will already document the effects without having to concentrate on them. Document his interactions, his living, not the dieing. I don't think I'm expressing it very well I'm afraid. Try to leave something of the man he is for those he leaves behind, not just the effects of the cancer on him. Take happy shots more than the "down" shots if at all possible. I'm not saying ignore the bad days, just concentrate on the good ones more. Follow the love of family and friends as much as you can.
Also don't forget yourself here. You will need time to vent, release and regain your own composure. Don't be an outsider, he is including you to one of the most deeply important and individual portions of his life. You will need to be able to maintain your own life while doing this. Don't hesitate to both laugh and cry with him and his family.
Good luck and God bless.
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Don't focus on the disease. Focus on the life.
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Originally posted by JB88
well. a good friend of my has been diagnosed with lung cancer.
pretty aggressive. long shot.
he has asked me to document it photographically from start to finish.
The first question you need to answer is why does he want this documented. What is it he wants to say. Who is going to see these photos. Skuzzy is right when he says focus on life not the disease but your problem is going to be that from now on the cancer is his life.
I pray he survives this and in 5 years you both can look at the pictures and better understand what he went through.
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A heavy responsibility. You are a true friend for accepting this difficult assignment.
I agree that as a friend you should shoot him living life and enjoying time with friends, and of course situational portraits would not be amiss. But it sounds to me like your friend wants you to document the treatment and the disease and as a photographer on assignment; I would consider a sitting portrait with a clean background taken at timed intervals over the course of this ordeal. Of course this will not be easy and the results will most likely be shocking.
This probably goes without saying but don't forget to put the camera on a tripod and take pictures of yourself with your friend. You will treasure them later.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you and your friend the best of luck.
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Good Luck JB88. I hope you find the strength to take on this task for you friend. Almost everyone wants to leave some sort of legacy behind when they leave, and it sounds like your friend has chosen you to help create something that will be here after he is gone.
I suspect that this project will go a long way to help him deal with all the "could have been" dreams he will probably never be able to achieve. That's about the best thing someone can ever do for a dying friend.