Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: rpm on January 07, 2008, 12:13:45 AM
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So it was just another day at work. Things were running smoothly, customers were happy, sales were up. Then I hear a commotion. I look over the cubical wall and see about half my employees huddled around a customer.
I asked one of my cashiers what was going on and she said "There's a snake." A snake? What? "Yeah, that lady has a snake."
Well, pets are not allowed in a grocery store unless they are service animals. (Especially snakes 'cause I hates me some snakes) So I head over and firmly tell them to get that freaking thing out of my store! The lady with the snake around her neck looks up and... (cue Twilight Zone Theme)
It's ExWife #3!!! :O The devil incarnate, the incubus, the psychotic nutzoid nutbag freak that took me for $40K in cash and another $25K in credit cards that I have spent 9 years to eradicate all signs of contact with my life!
My heart literally froze in midbeat. I felt a cold chill run down my spine. The lifeforce was rapidly being sucked out of me.
"Ooops, sorry we'll take it outside."
I do an immediate aboutface and head back to my office without saying another word. Luckily, she did not recognise me without my beard. (Do you believe in miracles?) WTF was she doing in town shopping at my store? The last time I heard anything about her she was in Ft.Worth. After she left I asked the cashier if she had seen her in the store before and she said the she-demon has been in 2 or 3 times the past few days.
Oh, thaaaat's just fanfreakingtastic.
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she's stalking you for some of the old revolutions per minute you gave give her :D :rofl
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That ain't happening.
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Originally posted by rpm
OK, What Did I Do To Deserve This?
Well for starters you got married.....
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My question is why did you mary a chick who wears snakes around her neck? I mean beyond the obvious fascination and kink factor, that ain't marriage material rpm, let a lone dating material. Hit it and quit it.
:aok
But yeah for now, um, hide.
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man, how do you manage to experience three failed marriages. Im having a hard time failing at just one :cry
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This only happnes to liberals.
:D
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Stang, she did'nt have any snakes back then, that would have be a no-go for me. She was a hot cowgirl widow (alert: WIDOW) that reminded me of Ellie Mae Clampett. Hot and wanted to make a pet out of everything. It was a helluva fun ride till we got married then it got ugly fast.
I can take comfort in the fact that the last nine years have not been kind to her looks.
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Ouch.... Kick in the nads from the past!!!!!!
I cant beleive you were married to a chick who couldnt recoginze you just cause you shaved:rolleyes:
She probably heard you still have some money left and came for the rest of it!!!
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Ex number #3?
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I guess you being a left wing moron attracts the same!
Neener neener!
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Ran into my ex at a grocery store once.
She had even gotten fatter than when I was married to her.
(didn't think that was even possible)
She also went out of her way to walk past me and smiled.
I looked right through her and pretended I never saw her.
As I finished with my shopping I would see her at the end of every isle I was in looking at me.
I will (hopefully) go through life w/o seeing and talking with her ever again.
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OK,
First off it has nothing to do with being a liberal. It is really simple. Women are evil. Just not this one but most are out to get you, your money, you’re sole. RPM is obviously cursed and must learn to stay away from the cookie jar. Remember, if they talk nice to you you’re doomed, if they talk mean to you you’re doomed, if they treat you like a normal coworker at work you’re doomed.
OUCH… ..
Yes dear, I’ll take the dog out and quit playing that stupid game.
:furious
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Oooooooooooooohhhhh....this thread is just screaming out for it, soooooo......here it is........................... ............................. .....
BOOM .......good snake.
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Proof:
(http://home.earthlink.net/~m_thomas3/funny/pics/GirlsEvilProof.jpg)
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lawlz, thanks croduh. After all the chocolate goodness I've been dealing with lately that pic is spot on.
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3 ex's?! Can we call you Eva?:p
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I used to actively dislike you because I thought you were a moron.
Now I feel sorry for you because I know I'm right.
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I don't like snakes either but this....
"It's ExWife #3!!! The devil incarnate, the incubus, the psychotic nutzoid nutbag freak that took me for $40K in cash and another $25K in credit cards that I have spent 9 years to eradicate all signs of contact with my life!"
might explain some of your bitterness and envy problems.
edit... not so much the fact of the thing.. hell.. I got two ex's and 40-70 grand is about normal for the hit... I even have the kids and grandkids and spend on them.. you just start over... lost houses etc...
not so much the fact but the way you look at it I guess.. can't blame too much.. I was kinda bitter too at first.
lazs
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Originally posted by sgt203
Ouch.... Kick in the nads from the past!!!!!!
I cant beleive you were married to a chick who couldnt recoginze you just cause you shaved:rolleyes:
X2...I've had guys from basic almost 15 yrs later recognize me.
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Good luck with that rpm. They're right: even the nicest of gals can get evil real quick. The not-so-nice ones can get evil even faster.
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Your past has come back to Haunt you !!
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There is an acceptable explanation for all of this. Upon careful consideration of the above events, here are the underlieing meaningful representations and their sexual overtones.
This poor, poor exwife #3 was seeking to be rescued once again by her once Knight in Shining Armor, ummm that would be you RPM, from her present day entanglements, ummm that would be the snake. She attempted to reach out to you at your humble place of employment only to be snubbed and to feel the sting once again of rejection..smittened by her lost love.
You Sir had taken the only possible course of action, proudly galloping off into the horizon. Had you have offered any assistance you would have found that she also had a mongoose, mean gnarly bastage, hidden in her panties which in time would have caused you more than just monetory losses...i.e. yer lil RPM buddy.
I salute you RPM. Good call Sir.
I have submitted below a cute picture of a mongoose for your review.
Mac
(http://www.stanford.edu/~siegelr/tz/tz2007/IMG_2364%20mongoose%20teeth.jpg)
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I hate to say it..but a woman is like a pet python.
You can love it and nurture it for years...and yet it can turn on you.
Or she can be a butterfly for years..then morph back into a slug..leaving a trail of slime wherever she goes.
GL Rpm !
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You put a hillary in 08 sticker on your car didn't you. Serves ya right. :huh
:p :t
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Originally posted by AWMac
(http://www.stanford.edu/~siegelr/tz/tz2007/IMG_2364%20mongoose%20teeth.jpg)
those critters kick arse! if you have a chance to wage money on the battle, always pick a good looking mongoose over the best looking cobra!
that guy there looks to be in good shape apart from one filling in the lower right molar.
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I would guess that it is a lil difficult for a mongoose to have a decent dental plan.
They are evil, wicked, mean and nasty. Never attempt to pet one.
Mac
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yes, her little rodent fangs and predators face must be a similar image to what ex-wives look like.
where as most ex-husbands either look like this:
(http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/animals/images/primary/peacock.jpg)
or this:
(http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/PhotoGallery/Birds/photos/fpo2560-02.jpg)
or like this:
(http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/PhotoGallery/Primates/photos/2131-14.jpg)
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:rofl
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Originally posted by croduh
Proof:
(http://home.earthlink.net/~m_thomas3/funny/pics/GirlsEvilProof.jpg)
GAH beat me to it!
Proof that a chocolate chip muffin is better than finding true love
Given:ChocolateChip muffin > nothing
Nothing > Finding true love
1-ChocolateChip muffin > nothing
2-Nothing > Finding true love
3-ChocolateChip muffin > Finding true love
PROOFS
1-Given
2-Given
3-Transitive property of 2&3
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Actually Mac, you may be on to something with the mongoose. But with my luck she would make the thing a pet and turn it on me.
Lazs, I'm not bitter. I'm just much, much wiser.
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Originally posted by rpm
Actually Mac, you may be on to something with the mongoose. But with my luck she would make the thing a pet and turn it on me.
Lazs, I'm not bitter. I'm just much, much wiser.
Most men would have been wiser after #1 was finished (Do it manually!) ;) but alas, you're from Texas... (http://www.proseandcorns.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/slow-learner.jpg)
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Sorry, Rip. I have a weakness for the poontang.
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Hey now...don't group ALL women together.
With 3 X's, might their be a different problem:huh
Ohh...and the picture of the mongoose is cute:D
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(quote) I have a weakness for the poontang. (unquote)
Heed ye the immortal words of Catch 22:
"It's just the hairy end of a wet gut."
(The smilie has not been designed that can accurately reflect the profundity of that insight.)
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Originally posted by B@tfinkV
yes, her little rodent fangs and predators face must be a similar image to what ex-wives look like.
where as most ex-husbands either look like this:
(http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/PhotoGallery/Primates/photos/2131-14.jpg)
Thats definetly RPM hes even restocking the produce aisle.
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Print this out and hang it in your store
(http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd34/momof3terrors/good_snake.jpg)
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Pooh, I only wish I had that much hair left.
Meatwad, :aok
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You divorced your third wife nine years ago? Holy cow; have there been any more since? How old were you (and they) at each marriage and how long did they last? Oh heck, I’d even like to read a brief low-down on the courtship, kids, cause of divorce and aftermath of each. Do soap-opera writers just follow you around?
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Nope, have'nt been married since. The only one I have been serious about since was murdered last 4th of July.
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I’ve been following that and am still speechless.
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Originally posted by eskimo2
I’ve been following that and am still speechless.
Same here RPM.
Hope they catch the Bastard(s).
Mac