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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: NUKE on March 12, 2008, 04:21:21 PM

Title: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 12, 2008, 04:21:21 PM
This is a demo version of a song I am working on with a good friend.

What do you think? Be honest, but remember that it is only a demo and a lot of parts are missing. It based off a song we did nearly 20 years ago.

http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/people4.mp3 (http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/people4.mp3)

Here are the lyrics, even though I really am not good at them...

" (you) march through the ages looking deep inside yourself
don't turn around, they'll knock you down

reading through some pages looking for some words to help
(you) stand your ground, when they lock you down

'cause you know your're not the only one looking....looking like a picture (face) down on a shelf
and I know you're not the only one looking out for something bigger than yourself.

I'm not the only one looking, I'm not the only one looking out."







Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 12, 2008, 05:35:08 PM
Come on, give me some hate! I know there is hatred out there and I am a sitting duck.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DieAz on March 12, 2008, 05:40:20 PM
it is ok, though I liked Colorful Rain better.
keep them coming.  :aok
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: JB88 on March 12, 2008, 05:49:10 PM
no thanks.  i'll pass.

 :uhoh
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: 2bighorn on March 12, 2008, 08:40:35 PM
(http://sierra-host.net/images/simon-cowell1.jpg)
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DREDIOCK on March 12, 2008, 08:46:22 PM
I liked it.

Actually I think it sounds better then about 90% of the groups out there now.

Wheres the rest of the song?



PS

Is it me or so I sense a teeny bit of T-Rex influence?
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DiabloTX on March 12, 2008, 08:56:12 PM
Music: B+
Singing: D
Lyrics: C+

All in all a good effort, just needs some more polishing up.  I hear Axl's out of a job right now.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: lasersailor184 on March 12, 2008, 09:04:30 PM
Not bad.  I kind of like it.



How do I get better at lead singing while also playing guitar?  Just a lot of practice?
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DiabloTX on March 12, 2008, 09:33:58 PM
Practice AND talent.  Even Stevie Ray backed off some of his live guitar playing while he sang, became a bit much even for his talent level.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 12, 2008, 09:43:19 PM
Not bad.  I kind of like it.



How do I get better at lead singing while also playing guitar?  Just a lot of practice?

That's something that I used to always had a problem with....playing and singing at the same time. Some people are just natural and can play any riff/time and sing anything along with it at the same time.

Our old bass player taught me that you kind of have to sing and not think about it so much....and after awhile I was able to be able to sing while playing guitar, live.

By the way, thanks for all of the comments. I want to work on this song some more and add another guitar (my original guitar part) and try to sing it again. I want to hear good and bad comments, as long as they are honest.

Dred, I don't know what influenced this to be honest. I do like the Beatles and a lot of older music though. My friend an I originally just came up with it (the music) before a practice. As usual, we spent about 5 minutes on the lyrics.




Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DiabloTX on March 12, 2008, 10:08:06 PM
HEHE, subconscienciously the lyrics are about the AHII BBS...you just didn't realise it!

But, having said that I really did like the music.  It, as a song, has potential. 

PS - Scott Weiland may be looking for a job soon.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: gpwurzel on March 12, 2008, 10:51:59 PM
Mix is fine - nothing overpowering anything else - your vocals when the powerchords break in around 01:07 are getting lost (and it sounds a tiny bit like your struggling to stay in key)

Guitars cut through cleanly, and its a nice clean recording.

personally, I liked it - vocals needs a bit more "oomph" - sounds like your singing from your throat, not your diaphragm - which would make it (imo) better.

Currently, I'd give it a 6/7 out of 10


Lasersailor - I started by speaking the words of songs at the same time as playing, then humming them, then progressed to singing them at the same time as playing - choose a simple to play song first as a basic practise - then progress to trickier songs.


Wurzel
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 13, 2008, 12:18:29 AM
Mix is fine - nothing overpowering anything else - your vocals when the powerchords break in around 01:07 are getting lost (and it sounds a tiny bit like your struggling to stay in key)

Guitars cut through cleanly, and its a nice clean recording.

personally, I liked it - vocals needs a bit more "oomph" - sounds like your singing from your throat, not your diaphragm - which would make it (imo) better.

Currently, I'd give it a 6/7 out of 10


Lasersailor - I started by speaking the words of songs at the same time as playing, then humming them, then progressed to singing them at the same time as playing - choose a simple to play song first as a basic practise - then progress to trickier songs.


Wurzel

Thanks for that review, very helpful!

I tried to sing it again, added a harmony.

http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/people5.mp3 (http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/people5.mp3)
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: gpwurzel on March 13, 2008, 01:10:41 AM
Better - more oomph to clear the powerchords - unfortunately busy at work, so no time to listen closely - will do that when I get home post shift.


Would be interested in hearing the whole song as well.....hint hint... :t


Wurzel

Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: AWMac on March 13, 2008, 01:56:54 AM
 :aok
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DiabloTX on March 13, 2008, 03:58:47 AM
Oh yeah, more cowbell.


Deffo up the cowbell content.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 13, 2008, 12:04:12 PM
it is ok, though I liked Colorful Rain better.
keep them coming.  :aok

How did you know about that song?
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: gpwurzel on March 13, 2008, 03:03:01 PM
Slightly more indepth - apologies for it taking some time, fell asleep after night shift.

Harmony, slightly too low in the mix, sounds a bit off key as well

Vocals when the powerchords come in - much better - that said, it sounds like you are holding back some.
Would like to hear the full thing once you get it done fella,


 :aok

Wurzel
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: midnight Target on March 13, 2008, 03:16:22 PM
It was a little pitchy for me dog.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DieAz on March 13, 2008, 06:48:49 PM
How did you know about that song?
you have a short memory? or maybe mine is too good. you posted it before, before your last PNG under NUKE.
I was the one that asked you to post more. you said you had to dig around see what you liked to post. then you got PNGed about a week or two later.
was going to ask how your business was doing, but another recent post of yours, tells me not to ask.
sure do wish NASH was back. the last song he posted was awesome.
I still listen to them once in a while.  :)    :salute
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: DREDIOCK on March 13, 2008, 07:04:19 PM
Screw the hint...

Where the hells the rest  of the #%$)#(@ Song???


We wanna hear it
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: JB73 on March 13, 2008, 07:23:03 PM
Quit trying to be joe crocker.

Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 13, 2008, 07:25:52 PM
you have a short memory? or maybe mine is too good. you posted it before, before your last PNG under NUKE.
I was the one that asked you to post more. you said you had to dig around see what you liked to post. then you got PNGed about a week or two later.
was going to ask how your business was doing, but another recent post of yours, tells me not to ask.
sure do wish NASH was back. the last song he posted was awesome.
I still listen to them once in a while.  :)    :salute

Ahh, okay I remember. I have been trying to get in touch with Nash but he doesn't respond to my email.

Dred, lol! Thanks. I will post the whole song when it's all done.

here are some recent ones that I recorded, very VERY rough. Just the first stage of writing them, me singing along with an acoustic. Even though they are very rough, I think the idea comes out.

Normally I would never let anyone listen to something like this, but I have been surprised at what people like and don't like when it comes to music and I'm in a sharing mood. :)

http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/outside.mp3 (http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/outside.mp3)
http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/hey.mp3 (http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/hey.mp3)
http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/sun.mp3 (http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/sun.mp3)


And here is one from about 15 years ago. It's a demo and the "break" section really goes offtrack really badly. The section after the break features "cheering" from a crowd I lifted from Nirvana's Live In New York.

http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/walkaround.mp3 (http://www.ronpartin.net/songs/walkaround.mp3)
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: NUKE on March 13, 2008, 07:27:10 PM
Quit trying to be joe crocker.



That would be the last person I would try to be like. Can't stand him. All he does is cover songs by other people.
Title: Re: New song demo. Classic rock style
Post by: JB73 on March 13, 2008, 08:08:01 PM
That would be the last person I would try to be like. Can't stand him. All he does is cover songs by other people.
it's the inflection in the voice, you try and mumble, / slur the higher notes, and make the lyrics sound more important than they are.

you asked for honest or slam opinions and I do hate you... thought not as much as say drunky :p :D