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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: texasmom on March 27, 2008, 04:04:50 PM

Title: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: texasmom on March 27, 2008, 04:04:50 PM
My kids always one-up eachother (they're boys). So when I set the fire alarm off while cooking (regularly), they see who can say the wittiest thing.

"If you were cooking for the Queen of England, you would have just been FIRED!"

" You're better at the grill, it doesn't have a fire alarm."
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: lasersailor184 on March 27, 2008, 04:05:52 PM
I don't know if you have them, but we have the wireless fire alarms that communicate with each other.  I hate them so much.  If one goes off, they all go off.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: texasmom on March 27, 2008, 04:08:33 PM
More than one goes off in my house. I don't know if they communicate, or if they all just get the same "uh-oh" message at the same time.  If I fan the one in the kitchen & it turns off, the others settle down though.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: C(Sea)Bass on March 27, 2008, 04:10:46 PM
You can't be as bad as my dad. He actually set bread on fire. Not just smoke, flames were coming off the bread.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: indy007 on March 27, 2008, 04:11:12 PM
Try some sous-vide recipes. It's pretty hard to screw those up.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Bronk on March 27, 2008, 04:15:32 PM
Txmom don't feel so bad.
My wife just figured out that the smoke alarm is NOT a kitchen timer. ;)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: SD67 on March 27, 2008, 04:20:56 PM
My sister has actually burned a boiled egg  :confused:
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: wrongwayric on March 27, 2008, 04:23:09 PM
My sister burnt water :O Yes it's true you can burn water if it has a high mineral content. Was the nastiest Mac and cheese i ever had. Funny thing is i cooked mashed potatoes the day before with no problem. My highschool edumacation beats her masters degree. :lol
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Halo46 on March 27, 2008, 04:34:50 PM
Here is the secret, set the burner flame where you think it should be and then cut back by half... :salute
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Neubob on March 27, 2008, 04:39:35 PM
My kids always one-up eachother (they're boys). So when I set the fire alarm off while cooking (regularly), they see who can say the wittiest thing.

"If you were cooking for the Queen of England, you would have just been FIRED!"

" You're better at the grill, it doesn't have a fire alarm."

"With food like that, it's best to just sweep it off the plate, into toilet, and spare the middle man."
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Ripsnort on March 27, 2008, 04:43:28 PM
Fire alarms going off repeatedly while cooking is directly linked to A.D.D.






















:D
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: VonMessa on March 27, 2008, 05:06:06 PM
Fire alarms going off repeatedly while cooking is directly linked to A.D.D.


Here we go.................





















:D
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Rondar on March 27, 2008, 05:59:48 PM
More than one goes off in my house. I don't know if they communicate, or if they all just get the same "uh-oh" message at the same time.  If I fan the one in the kitchen & it turns off, the others settle down though.

Lol cant help but laugh a lil bit :lol  I bet Mr Txmom knows the numbers to the fast food carryout places  ;)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: EskimoJoe on March 27, 2008, 06:14:20 PM
Don't worry, texasmom, it's natural for kids to make fun of their mother when they "phail" at cooking.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: DieAz on March 27, 2008, 06:53:49 PM
tellem yer cooking 4 alarm chili or whatever it is you're burning.

 ;)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: AWMac on March 28, 2008, 03:58:50 PM
TxMom... Take the smoke alarms as a compliment...

Nothing gathers the kinfolk together as much as a smoke alarm... the next words outta yer mouth shoulda been.  "Now shut up, sit down and eat!"

If it takes a mad Texan woman over a stove in a testorone inflicted home and panic in the house sets in... It's Dam Done!

*tips hat*

Mac

Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: eskimo2 on March 29, 2008, 06:44:15 AM
If our kids complain about food even the slightest bit they have to do push-ups.  It works well and its probably been a month since any of them have complained.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: SD67 on March 29, 2008, 06:47:28 AM
Haven't found anything Brianna won't eat yet.
:D
She seems particularly fond of spicy foods, much to Sarah's disappointment :lol Fortunately I love cooking and eating the spicier Indian and Asian foods, I usually make a milder batch for Sarah when I do ('aint I nice:p)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Sox62 on March 29, 2008, 09:30:08 AM
Do the kids joyfully scream,"Yay! Pizza night!!!" about two seconds after the alarm goes off?

 :lol

Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: bcadoo on March 29, 2008, 09:39:23 AM
Don't feel bad.  One of the places we have to send change of address notification to is the Fire Dept.  (had them out at the house 2 times from the wife's 'cooking incidents')
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Jackal1 on March 29, 2008, 10:52:48 AM
TxMom, do you put a whole new meaning to the term "Carry out food"?










Sry...couldn`t resist.  :D
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: texasmom on March 29, 2008, 12:51:17 PM
TxMom, do you put a whole new meaning to the term "Carry out food"?
Sry...couldn`t resist.  :D
Nah, more like taking "fend for yourself night" to a new level. :)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: FrodeMk3 on March 29, 2008, 02:02:56 PM
Nah, more like taking "fend for yourself night" to a new level. :)

Fend for yourselfusually entices my 12 year old to try out what he learned in 7th grade Home ec., which leads right back to the damn smoke alarm going off again.

Finally, I myself wind up going to the kitchen, (after going back to the store to get more stuff, because they've burned everything else) and putting things' right in time to eat at a somewhat decent hour. As a result, everyone now loves' General Tso's chicken here.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: texasmom on March 29, 2008, 04:15:43 PM
My kids are pretty good in the kitchen. In fact, it's a shame for them to have a mom who is totally disinterested in food. Makes it even more apparent after we visit Grandma once a month, who is the best cook in the whole world.

My oldest son had a cake party some time before he was 10 years old. They each made their own cakes ~ which looked exactly like hamburgers. yellow cakes for the buns, chocolate for the burger, rice chrispies for the "sesame seeds," yellow, red & white frosting in the middle for ketchup, mustard & mayo ~ sliced gumdrops for lettuce. They enjoyed it quite a bit ~ ate their own cakes for dinner and then for breakfast. :)

But I'm pretty sure none of them told any of their other friends they were cooking.

Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: ROX on March 29, 2008, 04:47:29 PM
My wife burned things with such regularity we used to say that it wasn't burnt....just CAJUN!!


Yup

We had "Blackened Pizza"
           "Blackened Spaghetti"
           "Blackened Cornbread"......

You name it...we had it "blackened".

(Not to hijack the thread...but folks seemed to enjoy the "Aces High 1st Annual Recipe Swap" last summer...should we wait until July or start it sooner?  I know I got about 15 really awesome recipies from you folks that now are currently in my dinner rotation!)


ROX

Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: bj229r on March 29, 2008, 04:53:55 PM
Hey, if they're battery powered smoke, just move em further from the kitchen :aok
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: texasmom on March 29, 2008, 06:28:04 PM
My wife burned things with such regularity we used to say that it wasn't burnt....just CAJUN!!
Yup
We had "Blackened Pizza"
           "Blackened Spaghetti"
           "Blackened Cornbread"......
You name it...we had it "blackened".
(Not to hijack the thread...but folks seemed to enjoy the "Aces High 1st Annual Recipe Swap" last summer...should we wait until July or start it sooner?  I know I got about 15 really awesome recipies from you folks that now are currently in my dinner rotation!)
ROX

I liked the recipe swap too. Hey listen, now that I've basically quit my job, I was thinking of writing a cook book.
Title: All you need to eat on is bread, eggs & milk. Then fill it with bread, eggs & milk recipes.  :lol
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: AWMac on March 29, 2008, 06:32:08 PM
That reminds me of an old barnyard joke concerning a Cow and a Chicken stuck in the middle of a wheat field...

Never mind.. don't want DiabloTX accusing me of hijacking this thread.

 ;)

Mac
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Jackal1 on March 30, 2008, 04:02:40 AM
Never mind.. don't want DiabloTX accusing me of hijacking this thread.

 ;)

Mac

.......Ummm nevermind. ROFLMAO
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: AWMac on March 30, 2008, 04:08:12 AM
I knew you'd do that. LOL

Mac
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: Jackal1 on March 30, 2008, 04:13:14 AM
I knew you'd do that. LOL

Mac

 ;)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: rpm on March 30, 2008, 04:19:00 AM
Mom, I doubt you've ever emptied an apartment complex with supper. I was pan frying some chicken and the grease got a little hot and started smoking. Set off my smoke alarm which in turn set off the smoke alarms in the entire building (4 townhouses). I tried giving everyone some chicken as a peace offering. For some reason they all turned me down. :confused:
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: SD67 on March 30, 2008, 04:56:31 AM
LOL I emptied an apartment complex buying a car...
The darn thing needed some work before I could drive it away, and the Vacuum line to the MAP sensor came off. Combine the leftover Inox in the pots with the super rich running due to the lack of vacuum to the MAP sensor and the super sensitive smoke detectors in the Garage and you get the picture. I'd actually moved the car outside by the time the sensors picked up the fumes, but it was enough to set the alarms off and empty the entire complex out into the driveway.
I hurriedly got my stuff into the car and went :lol
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: MrRiplEy[H] on March 30, 2008, 05:11:09 AM
I don't know if you have them, but we have the wireless fire alarms that communicate with each other.  I hate them so much.  If one goes off, they all go off.

I love those things I woldn't want to sleep upstairs while downstairs has been burning for hours without me knowing.
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: rpm on March 30, 2008, 05:36:32 AM
I love those things...
You want some fried chicken?
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: SD67 on March 30, 2008, 05:39:46 AM
I just made a blue cooking some porcupines. I should have used a 440g tin of tomato soup but we didn't have any so I used powdered tomato soup instead, they looked fine, but the taste was not at all how it should have been :(
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: bj229r on March 30, 2008, 10:44:39 AM
Word of waring! Throwing water on flaming frying pan REALLY doesnt help situation much :eek:
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: AKIron on March 30, 2008, 12:40:02 PM
I think I was 8 before I realized that not everyone scraped the black off of toast before eating it. I burn it every now and then just for a little nostalgia.  :)
Title: Re: So, I'm a terrible cook, right?
Post by: texasmom on March 30, 2008, 01:18:49 PM
Word of waring! Throwing water on flaming frying pan REALLY doesnt help situation much :eek:
:lol