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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Bosch232 on April 09, 2008, 08:24:44 AM

Title: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Bosch232 on April 09, 2008, 08:24:44 AM
She turns 35.
Suggestions..?!?



(I fully acknowledge that if I'm consulting with the AH2 community for wife-worthy birthday gifts, my ship is probably already sunk, but hey...) 

 :pray
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: bcadoo on April 09, 2008, 08:27:37 AM
need more information...likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Hornet33 on April 09, 2008, 08:30:46 AM
Dude!!!!!! You wait until the day before her birthday to start thinking about a gift, then you come HERE to ask advice???? :O

OK I shouldn't get on your case, I've been there myself but it would help if you gave us a little more info. What does she like to do? What's her favorite color? Does she have a hobby she is really into?  We need info man if we're going to bail you out of the wife ack trap!!!!!!
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Angus on April 09, 2008, 08:32:54 AM
Mine just turned 34. I conspired with relatives and she got a greenhouse for the garden. And she's absolutely happy about it.
I usually try to give something unpredictable, and you should know her well enough to know what she likes.
So...a trip? A nice evening with dinner and perhaps a film to watch? A day off? Something connected with her hobbies?
It doesn't have to be an object, it can be an event you see....
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: indy007 on April 09, 2008, 08:36:48 AM
You can never go wrong with jewelry.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: deSelys on April 09, 2008, 08:38:02 AM
You can thank Angus for the neat idea: greenhouse for the garden!!  :aok
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: JB88 on April 09, 2008, 08:38:56 AM
breakfast in bed.

dinner and dancing. 

fancy dress.

no arguing.  she is right today.

oh and a dash of pre dinner monkey love.

my 2.

good luck.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: SOB on April 09, 2008, 08:46:22 AM
You're already heading toward the inevitable, so I'll help ya along...

Get her a wonderbra, and buy her a consult with a plastic surgeon.  When she opens the gifts and gives you that look that lets you know she's on the precipice of either delighting in your well-though-out humor or killing you, just tell her that she's starting to sag and you want her back at her perky best.  If you have a chance, you might add that if this works out, you'll even spring for the cost of doing something about her bellybutton next birthday!
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: WWhiskey on April 09, 2008, 08:47:51 AM
day before!! lol ,,wow you messed up, flowers and jewelry are the best bets
if you had longer vermont teddy bears are very good also pajamagrams are nice when i can" remember the date, i always try to remember the month and just start getting stuff right at the first of it,  she asks is this for my b-day and you ask IS IT YOUR B-DAY YET sarcasticly, you cant go wrong with a whole month of nice things, and it wont matter what day it is then! :rock
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: JB88 on April 09, 2008, 08:48:24 AM
You're already heading toward the inevitable, so I'll help ya along...

Get her a wonderbra, and buy her a consult with a plastic surgeon.  When she opens the gifts and gives you that look that lets you know she's on the precipice of either delighting in your well-though-out humor or killing you, just tell her that she's starting to sag and you want her back at her perky best.  If you have a chance, you might add that if this works out, you'll even spring for the cost of doing something about her bellybutton next birthday!


your next post will be 10k SOB.

 :aok

(your last one being a perfect validation of your nom de plume btw... :D)
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: SOB on April 09, 2008, 09:02:55 AM
Oh my, 10K... I'm officially a lost cause.  :)
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: JB88 on April 09, 2008, 09:03:34 AM
congrats bro.

 :salute

 :rock
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: SpazMan on April 09, 2008, 09:12:44 AM
She turns 35.
Suggestions..?!?



(I fully acknowledge that if I'm consulting with the AH2 community for wife-worthy birthday gifts, my ship is probably already sunk, but hey...) 

 :pray

Man are you in trouble..... :rofl  I would start out with a quiet romantic dinner. From there it depends on what her likes and dislikes are: if she's into jewerly get her something she can wear and show off like diamond earrings. If she is stressed, because I know you have kids, maybe a day at a spa. If she likes to shop and you don't how about a mall gift card. Or maybe an account on AH2  :rock so you can avoid the wife ack...... :D

Remember squaddy knows best..... :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Curval on April 09, 2008, 09:14:12 AM
Get her a pair of slippers and a dildo.

Tell her if she doesn't like the slippers she can go *&*(&^ herself.

(shamelessly stolen from The Sopranos)
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: SpazMan on April 09, 2008, 09:16:01 AM
Get her a pair of slippers and a dildo.

Tell her if she doesn't like the slippers she can go *&*(&^ herself.

(shamelessly stolen from The Sopranos)

Yea or that....... :rofl  :rofl  :rofl
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: thrila on April 09, 2008, 09:42:09 AM
Buy her a day at a health/beauty spa for a facial etc. and comment on how beautiful she looks when she arrives home after the spa.  It has never failed.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: thrila on April 09, 2008, 09:44:43 AM
It doesn't have to be booked for tomorrow aslong as you can get a birthday special gift certificate card thingy or something.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: MoeRon on April 09, 2008, 09:51:09 AM
Get her a nice pendant.. :aok   
 
January: Garnet
February: Amethyst
March: Aquamarine
April: Diamond
May: Emerald
June: Alexandrite / Pearl
July: Ruby
August: Peridot
September: Sapphire
October: Opal / Tourmaline
November: Citrine / Topaz
December: Turquoise / Zircon
 
   
 
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: ROX on April 09, 2008, 09:52:18 AM
What thrilla said.....great idea :aok

As for some others, I forsee Skuzzifications in the near future.  :O  Just a prediction.

ROX
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: texasmom on April 09, 2008, 09:58:53 AM
Buy her a day at a health/beauty spa for a facial etc. and comment on how beautiful she looks when she arrives home after the spa.  It has never failed.

That's a great idea.

Get a basket... in it, put:

the spa certificate (you can make it a specific dollar amount... with no appt. date attached)
couple of candles/candlesticks
a good book of her interest
a small box of chocolates
a comfy pair of socks
a set of comfy pajamas (not lingerie ~ it's for her... not you)
if you want to add in some jewelery, that's always a winner.

p.s. don't worry about waiting until the last day.  She gets the gift on her birthday whether you bought it two weeks in advance or two hours in advance. Just don't tell her you waited until the last day, and you're still golden.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: texasmom on April 09, 2008, 10:04:05 AM
if you had longer vermont teddy bears are very good also pajamagrams are nice when i can" remember the date
Gentlemen, I'm sorry, vermont teddy bears suck.  Every commercial they have out there is full of slutty little tramps.  If you buy those for your gals, you're sending the message of "I am buying this for you because I want sex."  Even if you do, don't send that message.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Hornet33 on April 09, 2008, 10:09:06 AM
Gentlemen, I'm sorry, vermont teddy bears suck.  Every commercial they have out there is full of slutty little tramps.  If you buy those for your gals, you're sending the message of "I am buying this for you because I want sex."  Even if you do, don't send that message.


But, but, but, we ONLY buy things for the women in our lives because we want sex. That's just a given. :D
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: texasmom on April 09, 2008, 10:11:52 AM
But, but, but, we ONLY buy things for the women in our lives because we want sex. That's just a given. :D

Of course, but you have to learn to be savvy enough in gift buying to not make that apparent. :)
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: ROX on April 09, 2008, 10:15:23 AM
Gentlemen, I'm sorry, vermont teddy bears suck.  Every commercial they have out there is full of slutty little tramps.  If you buy those for your gals, you're sending the message of "I am buying this for you because I want sex."  Even if you do, don't send that message.



 :rofl     :rofl     :rofl     :rofl

I spit a mouthfull of Diet Cherry Pepsi all over the monitor when I read that...

Monitor is ok....but took 3 paper towels to clean up.

BTW: I am going to have to print this off and keep it in my wallet when gift time comes....I know a few of those.



ROX

Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Maverick on April 09, 2008, 10:17:52 AM
Dude you need to go out and find her a new hunting rifle or at the very least a new pistol. S&W makes those nice women's pistols in interesting designs.













Now since that takes care of advice from Laz and me....  :D Seriously, go with the spa idea. It's a great way to do something totally different for her and lets her be pampered. Also figure on a nice lunch out and you better figure on a nice dinner out. Some flowers at dinner would be nice too.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Charon on April 09, 2008, 10:54:09 AM
The burden might be extreme, but you can offer to driver her to the mall and shop with her as she picks out a new dress. That provides the excuse for not buying her one ahead of time (honey, how could I know what dress you would like, as you well know I can't even dress myself...). And shopping with her shows a willingness to make an extreme personal sacrafice. Get a nice card and order a dozen roses for delivery to round out the package and imply you put some thought into things ahead of time.

Charon
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: C(Sea)Bass on April 09, 2008, 11:10:49 AM
The burden might be extreme, but you can offer to driver her to the mall and shop with her as she picks out a new dress. That provides the excuse for not buying her one ahead of time (honey, how could I know what dress you would like, as you well know I can't even dress myself...). And shopping with her shows a willingness to make an extreme personal sacrafice. Get a nice card and order a dozen roses for delivery to round out the package and imply you put some thought into things ahead of time.

Charon

Dear God Man!
Shopping! with a WOMAN!
Thats a suicide mission!

i can see it now....

"Does this make my butt look big?"
"No dear"
"So your saying my butt is too small! you jerk!" :eek:
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Denholm on April 09, 2008, 11:13:24 AM
Better buy a Twix.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: VERTEX on April 09, 2008, 11:20:18 AM
There are lots of things to buy your wife.

Fishing rod
shotgun
power tools
motorbike
snowmobile
jetski
bowling ball
hockey skates
etc
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: JBA on April 09, 2008, 12:28:35 PM
need more information...likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc.
photos :D
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Xasthur on April 09, 2008, 12:48:17 PM
Dear God Man!
Shopping! with a WOMAN!
Thats a suicide mission!

i can see it now....

"Does this make my butt look big?"
"No dear"
"So your saying my butt is too small! you jerk!" :eek:

You just need to know how to take the Mrs shopping. If you're good at it, she'll be happy. If she's sufficiently happy then you'll be very happy.

Take an interest in the sort of clothes, shoes and accessories she likes and you'll be golden.

Buying a gift will almost always come second to a well thought-out, self-made birthday card and an impromptu picnic/dinner.

These sort of things are always the cheapest but always show the most thought. All the money in the world means nothing if you don't put thought into it.

Just make her a card and take her out for a nice birthday meal... just the two of you at a quiet location (the beach is always good if you have access). If you fail at that then your Mrs is a hard woman to please.

Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: midnight Target on April 09, 2008, 01:02:35 PM
Let her know you asked for help here, AND that you announced her age to everyone. Please video the response.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Hornet33 on April 09, 2008, 01:07:20 PM
Let her know you asked for help here, AND that you announced her age to everyone. Please video the response.

 :rofl :rofl  I'd pay to see that
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Rash on April 09, 2008, 01:15:50 PM
Buy her a day at a health/beauty spa for a facial etc. and comment on how beautiful she looks when she arrives home after the spa.  It has never failed.

I did this about a year ago, she loved it.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: john9001 on April 09, 2008, 01:46:40 PM
get her a new vacuum sweeper, women love practical things like vacuum sweepers.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Charon on April 09, 2008, 01:53:15 PM
Quote
Dear God Man!
Shopping! with a WOMAN!
Thats a suicide mission!

Yes, one does imagine the Bataan Death March. But desperate times can call for desperate actions. Though divorce starts to look reasonable when it gets to this point.

Charon
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: texasmom on April 09, 2008, 01:56:04 PM
get her a new vacuum sweeper, women love practical things like vacuum sweepers.
Spoken like a true SINGLE man.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Denholm on April 09, 2008, 02:07:50 PM
Spoken like a true SINGLE man.
Exactly what I thought. That's just scary.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Papabear on April 09, 2008, 03:02:27 PM
Oddly, the “Take her shopping” has worked very well for me. Our anniversary (23 years) is this Saturday, and that’s what I am doing for her. Will probably drive to Columbus, about 100 miles away.

Start someplace for a nice breakfast, not too fancy, Cracker barrel is good. Then drive to the big malls. My secret is to pay attention to the first item she buys for herself. If it’s a skirt, at the next store I point out (just a few) things I think might go with it. All you are really doing is showing that you are paying attention.

We will probably break for a very small lunch in a food court. Then a little more shopping…an hour or two. We will probably then stop at a home improvement garden center and she can get a few things for the flower gardens. (BONUS! I get a few items I need!) Then stop at a steakhouse on the ride home for dinner.

The secret is to take your time, talk and (IMPORTANT!) listen during the drive. Use the day to make some points, get some tools, and enjoy a good steak & cold beer with a beautiful woman.

It’s worked for 23 years.

If you can’t do it on her actual birthday, a flower and a hand written coupon for the day of shopping seems to do the trick.

Don’t forget about the steak, it will ease the pain.

Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Papabear on April 09, 2008, 03:16:39 PM
Okay, I just noticed the dreaded, “Does this make my butt look big” question.

The truth, as we all know, sometimes is just, “Yes”.  But hopefully, you are not stupid enough to say it in that many words!…

Okay guys, I am going to share an answer that has worked unbelievably well for me. You will owe me a beer for this one.

When asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” you answer, “Maybe it’s the way (insert SPECIFIC item here) [such as, but not limited to: “That skirt”, “Those Shorts”, “Those pants”, etc.] are cut , but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Okay, she is trying on pants… TEST TIME!

Question, “Does this make my butt look big?”
Answer, “Maybe it’s the way those pants are cut, but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Remember! It is NEVER her butt! It is always the fault of an inanimate object!

You are welcome.

Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: ROX on April 09, 2008, 03:53:23 PM
Divorce lawyers are reading some of these posts with glee.


ROX
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Wolfala on April 09, 2008, 04:03:43 PM
a blue tooth vibrator to interface with her cell phone. Ultimate weapon of control.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: DREDIOCK on April 09, 2008, 07:44:16 PM
Gift certificate for an afternoon at a Day Spa

No way no how can you ever loose with that one
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: bj229r on April 09, 2008, 08:01:40 PM
Spoken like a true SINGLE man.
My wifey wanted a table-saw and a planer for Christmas ;)

(OK, she turned 46 last week, bought her year-long thingie at tanning place and a trip to FLA to see her sister, and try out afore-mentioned tan; this is awesome, she gets to see her @#@#@#$ lazy fatarse sister and fatarse lazy nieces, and I don't have to be involved :aok)
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: WWhiskey on April 09, 2008, 08:08:01 PM
Gentlemen, I'm sorry, vermont teddy bears suck.  Every commercial they have out there is full of slutty little tramps.  If you buy those for your gals, you're sending the message of "I am buying this for you because I want sex."  Even if you do, don't send that message.
when i got my wife her teddy bear, it was of a poker player she had glasses and what looked like a bowler's shirt with her name on it ,,,wasnt really all that cute and definetly not hot or sexy,,,,, she loved it, that was years ago and it still sits on our mantle too this day, of course i already could have all of the other i wanted so your wrong on my account anyway, sorry :D
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: texasmom on April 09, 2008, 08:14:15 PM
I'm very glad to hear that. :)  :aok
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: bj229r on April 09, 2008, 08:16:26 PM
It's VERY hard to figure out what they might want--I think they know that, because after MANY years, I've finally realized my wife gives me vague little hints all the time about things I should get for her when such occasions arise---we might be walking through a store..."OOOHHHH..THIS IS NICE!" (As she walks away, I take a picture of it with my trusty cell phone and catalog it away for future reference) I'm also coming to the realization that such statements are ACTUALLY a test to see if I pay attention to ANYthing she says, and more importantly, CARE about anything she says....Most difficult being married.... :uhoh
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Maverick on April 09, 2008, 10:06:20 PM
My wife knows that I have a significant hearing loss. The hint bit doesn't work.  :devil
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Hedworx on April 09, 2008, 10:22:36 PM
The basket that texasmom suggested is a great idea if your getting her the spa certificate.  It appears that you put some time and thought into it instead of it being last minute......although it is.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Chairboy on April 09, 2008, 10:39:01 PM
Last year, I got my wife a pistol (Walther P22), a boning knife, and a meat grinder attachment for the KitchenAid.

While there was a risk that I'd be murdered and fed to the neighborhood cats, I proved I had been listening and paying attention to the things she did and wanted, not just the things she dropped obvious hints about.
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Xasthur on April 10, 2008, 02:08:09 AM
Okay, I just noticed the dreaded, “Does this make my butt look big” question.

The truth, as we all know, sometimes is just, “Yes”.  But hopefully, you are not stupid enough to say it in that many words!…

Okay guys, I am going to share an answer that has worked unbelievably well for me. You will owe me a beer for this one.

When asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” you answer, “Maybe it’s the way (insert SPECIFIC item here) [such as, but not limited to: “That skirt”, “Those Shorts”, “Those pants”, etc.] are cut , but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Okay, she is trying on pants… TEST TIME!

Question, “Does this make my butt look big?”
Answer, “Maybe it’s the way those pants are cut, but they don’t seem to hang right.”

Remember! It is NEVER her butt! It is always the fault of an inanimate object!

You are welcome.



Spot on, mate. You don't need to worry about the 'dreaded' "does my butt look big in this?" if you know a bit about clothes and pay attention to the things she likes.

Some clothes just don't suit certain body types so saying "That cut doesn't sit well on you" is entirely true most of the time.

Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: SpazMan on April 14, 2008, 02:45:25 PM
She turns 35.
Suggestions..?!?



(I fully acknowledge that if I'm consulting with the AH2 community for wife-worthy birthday gifts, my ship is probably already sunk, but hey...) 

 :pray

Well.......when do we get the update. All these nice people helping you out, we need to know how it went... ;)
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: Hornet33 on April 14, 2008, 03:09:40 PM
Hmmm 5 days since we last heard from him............I wonder where she buried the body????? :cry :salute
Title: Re: Wife's birthday tomorrow, need help quick...!
Post by: SpazMan on April 14, 2008, 03:21:02 PM
She might of taken his out of date laptop away.......and kick his a**...... :D