Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: RedDg on April 10, 2008, 11:39:37 PM
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"Hey, Joe, nifty metal detector!!! Ever find anything with it?"
"Yep. Found my wife with it."
"You did???!!!"
"Yeah. I forgot to remove the fillings."
Carry on.
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There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered the late teens, the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.
This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.
The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, "Hi, my name's Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.
The next lad arrived and said, "My name's Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're gonna get some spaghetti. Is she ready?" Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.
The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck..." And the farmer shot him.
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zOMG dat wun wuz funneh!
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The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck..." And the farmer shot him.
But what was the daughter's name?
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Paris.
Duhhhhh.
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i was thinking brittney but paris works :aok
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Paris.
Duhhhhh.
But that doesn't rhyme...
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You wanna see funny?
Give your dog a half a jar of peanut butter.
now that can be funny in itself but...
Wait an hour after it eats it all.
then offer it a peanut..
The "ef you you effen A hole " look you will get is priceless.
Story behond it.
I had two beagles.
Now anyone who has ever owned beagles will tell you they can and will eat almost anything and typically as much as you give them. They will eat
Food is to a beagle what a ball is to a golden retriever.
when we fed them we would have to seperate the bowls otherwise they would either fight. or would eat absurdly fast so the other wouldnt get theirs.
In this case someone had given us a jar of home made peanut butter. but nobody in the house liked the taste.
So ne day I split it up and gave it to the dogs.
Now the female ate it smart. licking it up.
the male in his rush was just biting into then trying to chew it.
And he was trying to do it really really fast.
Eventually he would bite, then chew slower and slower till he reached the point where it looked almost like he was going in slow motion. Where he started going "Bite,chompchompchomp". Eventually he was going "Bite,,,,,Chomp,,,,,chomp,,,,chomp.
The entire time Im watching this scene laughing myself silly
About an hour later I was eatng some peanuts. And he saw me eating something and the beggar he was came over and sat ,ears perked and staring at me. So I tossed him a peanut. Him having learned not to trust me ever since I tossed him a peprocini pepper. let it bonce off his nose then went and smelled it.
I WISH I had a picture of the look he gave me.
Dogs can indeed cuss with their looks. LMAO