Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 09:30:41 PM

Title: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 09:30:41 PM
COLF  Cats Only Ladies Forbidden.

Had a great day in my yard course. Seems like the local neighborhood cat decided my pool shed was the place to place kittens. 6 Kittens and her.

Now my backyard is kinda a dogleg to the right from the shed.  Nice traps. Water (inground pool) and the rock garden past the waterfall...snaps to the right after that.  If I hooked them then they'd end up in the pond to the left.  I was using a 5 Iron from the first tee at the shed... hooked two kittens and top ended a third.  Sank a forth into the drink but got some dam great hang time on the fifth one (Mulligan).  My Son says I'm slicing them.. I differ.

Sand wedge to get it outta the rock garden and into the Culda Sac... missed the putt into the storm drain.  Hell it was 35 feet though.

Now should I use a pitchin wedge or a 2 Iron from the Rock Garden ?

:D
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: SD67 on May 24, 2008, 09:34:01 PM
:rofl
This belongs in the PETA forums.
Oh and that depends on the loft you need. The 2 is a pretty flat iron but if you need height I'd go with the wedge.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: Mark Luper on May 24, 2008, 09:35:29 PM
This really does have to be a troll. You couldn't possibly be serious.

Mark
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 09:37:52 PM
I use Woods on Opossums.. heavy bastages.

Hell Animal Control will only kill em.

I get to practice my swing.

Mac
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: SD67 on May 24, 2008, 09:39:39 PM
You do realise that this is the red rag to Skuzzy's bull? :lol
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 09:43:22 PM
What?   It's all in sporting.


Skuzzy has Cats?


Ohhh crap!


Cat Man....

 :P
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AquaShrimp on May 24, 2008, 09:43:40 PM
Feral cats wreak havoc on native wildlife.  They are voracious predators.  Though it seems cruel to kill kittens, its actually the right thing to do.  Cats eat :birds, small mammals, lizards, small snakes, etc.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 09:48:21 PM
:rofl
This belongs in the PETA forums.
Oh and that depends on the loft you need. The 2 is a pretty flat iron but if you need height I'd go with the wedge.

Gotta get them over the side gate. Height is good but I think I'm under cuttin the chop.

Tryin to get closer to the Pin.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: SD67 on May 24, 2008, 09:51:06 PM
Oh I'm all for killing feral cats :aok
I find a nice .22calibre air rifle works extremely well.
So you have to get reasonable loft but a little extra distance?
Do you have an 8 or 9 iron in that set?
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 09:56:00 PM
They're all Orange cats... so chill.

If I used a Wood from the shed would I be another....










"Tiger Woods"?

 :D

Mac






Try placin a kitten on a Tee...

Not easy...they squirm.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: avionix on May 24, 2008, 10:30:03 PM
 :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Great stuff.  You know, that you have lost a shot at any chance with Pam Anderson.  She is  a PETA spokesho.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 24, 2008, 10:31:43 PM
Ohh Pam is good people... have you seen her kitty?

 :P
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: Jackal1 on May 25, 2008, 05:54:00 AM
  Cats eat :birds, small mammals, lizards, small snakes, etc.

Great snake killers. I like cats. They have an attitude.
CRUNCH.......good snake.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: MoeRon on May 25, 2008, 10:08:02 AM
Ive got the go ahead from the little woman to "just get rid of" any feral cats.  Seems she likes the birdies and keeps a couple feeders in the back yard.  We watched one day as a neighborhood cat killed a Cardinal that was feeding off the ground, just killed it and left it there, didnt eat it, just killed it for fun.  Havent tried golf clubs yet, the Ruger 10-22 works great.    (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/forum/popcorn.gif)
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: ROX on May 25, 2008, 11:19:10 AM
Slice?  Prolly not Mr. Mac  :salute

Gotta remember possums are kinda fat & rolly-polly, so their aerodynamics are far different than a more oblongated kitten.  If the kitten stays in a rolled up position, it's aeordynamics are dependant on wind conditions and spin off the club.

Possums also have more wind resistance, so using the wedge in a short chip situation IS the way to go.  The biggest, fattest wood you have will also take a gopher off the tee nicely.

It is the stormy season for you in Oklahoma, are you sure those hooks and slices aren't due to some unseen crosswinds?



ROX
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: RTR on May 25, 2008, 11:30:43 AM
If you dimple the kittens a bit with a ball peen hammer before you tee them up, they will go farther.

Not too much mind you, just enough to improve thier aerodynamics.

Personaly, I would go with the 3 wood for kittens and a 1 wood for the heavier grown ones.

cheers,

RTR
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: rabbidrabbit on May 25, 2008, 11:30:57 AM
Ohh Pam is good people... have you seen her kitty?

 :P


Who hasn't?
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: ROX on May 25, 2008, 12:31:47 PM
Ya just can't do the COLF thing with dogs.  Even puppies won't work. 

My apologies to The Skuzzmeister if he is is indeed a cat person, should he take offence, for none is intended.  Cat vs Dog is the same thing as Rep vs Dem or even furballer vs basetaker. It's their choice, vote, and $15 bucks a month.

Badgers are good practice as well, but get your heavy woods out. 

Our family is a dog family...


(http://www.entertainmentworlds.com/maxanke001.jpg)


Anke Kunigunde von Richthofen is the 13 week (22 lb) puppy.  Maximillian von Richthoffen is the 7 year old (81 lb).

He dosen't know it yet but that little ball of fuzz he used to bark at (turns out he was scared of her because he didn't understant what she was) is going to grow up to be his hot little girlfriend.

Neither of them care for golf.



ROX

Title: Re: COLF
Post by: Mustaine on May 25, 2008, 01:30:01 PM
Mac I know you to be a great troller, bait us usually real fresh and catches many...

if this is a troll all the power, but if you really hit a kitten with a golf club I have lost respect for you as a person and hope you get run over by a car real soon you sick bastard.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 25, 2008, 01:36:49 PM
Mustaine  you know you Love me and I bet you snickered at least once while reading my post...

 :D

Mac
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: rabbidrabbit on May 25, 2008, 01:39:02 PM
Mac I know you to be a great troller, bait us usually real fresh and catches many...

if this is a troll all the power, but if you really hit a kitten with a golf club I have lost respect for you as a person and hope you get run over by a car real soon you sick bastard.

Your condemnation would be far more appropriate if you wished his death be by errant flying kitten parts.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 25, 2008, 01:52:13 PM
As a Old Soldier from the past I was always instructed to wear a raincoat when dealing with strange kittys.

I'm clean.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: Jackal1 on May 25, 2008, 04:37:47 PM
Ohh Pam is good people... have you seen her kitty?

 :P

The one time a wide screen is not needed. :)
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 25, 2008, 05:08:48 PM
Do you have an 8 or 9 iron in that set?

Great the 8 Iron was "PurrrrFect" outta the rock garden... got interupted though...Next door neighbour was wanting to play through.  Poor guy has bigger kittens and shanked two into the pond.

Oh well it's a rough course.

 ;)

Mac

Wish me Luck.
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: ROX on May 25, 2008, 05:33:40 PM
Mac I know you to be a great troller, bait us usually real fresh and catches many...

if this is a troll all the power, but if you really hit a kitten with a golf club I have lost respect for you as a person and hope you get run over by a car real soon you sick bastard.

    :uhoh        :uhoh

Mustatine...you know I love ya bro.... :salute

Trolls are trolls....but this thread is worth it's weight in Monty Python gold.

If you honestly and I mean look us in the EYE and say you actually believe in your heart of hearts AWMac (or anyone else in this thread for that matter) is/has/are using kittens to play golf, please PM me sir, as I have some excellent real estate on the moon overlooking the Sea of Tranquility that is building ready, meets all local building codes, and you may be interested in purchasing.  It's in 1 and 2 acre lots! LESS GRAVITY! Sunny Everyday!  Must LQQK!!! 

ET come HOME to Moon Condos!! :lol 

You will reap BILLIONS in resale!

Right now I am sailing on the Sea of Tranquility...plan to BBQ later---getting Weber to light with no atmosphere is the SUXXORR!




 :uhoh     :uhoh     :uhoh :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:



ROX
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: ROX on May 25, 2008, 06:16:18 PM
OK Man Admits To Kitten Abuse: Justice Administered Immediately

Oklahoma City, AP


Oklahoma resident A. W. Mac died today as a result from confessions of kitten abuse on the internet.

Authorities were alerted to internet forum postings from Mac, who had alledged that he had used small ferrel kittens to play golf with in his spacious back yard.  As all internet forums postings are known to be better than evidence extracted in a court of law, local and state authorities have suspended all evidence gathering and investigations.  "Just the internet forum confessions we found online were all we needed", said Lt. Dan Collins, who responded to the scene, "...we take these things pretty seriously around here", he added.

Mr. Mac was then apparently duct taped to his own driveway and his body run over repeatedly with a state police squad car.  "That head popped like droppin a watermellon on concrete," an unidentified neighbor commented, "...and ya know, he was such a quiet man".  "Since we can dispense justice on the street for these hienous types of crimes, we're saving the taxpayers money as well as prison space," Lt. Collins added, "..it sure will deter other kitten abusers."

Five kittens that were observed on Mr. Mac's front doorstep refused to comment, although our reporters cited one was recouperating in a tiny wheelchair attached to a tiny IV bottle.

This is the 139th such kitten abuse retaliation execution since Oklahoma passed the "Everthing You See On The Internet Must Be True" Law in November 2007.  While the governor initially vetoed the bill, it was later passed by a 34 vote majority in the state house, suspending habeus corpus, right to a hearing, right to a speedy trial, and overiding death by lethal injection with death by being run over by a car. 

Rep. Dave Mustatine (D) of Lawton sponsored the bill, backed by statewide members of the WHANSOHW Group (We Have Absolutely No Sense Of Humor Whatsoever) and radical members of PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals).





Title: Re: COLF
Post by: avionix on May 25, 2008, 09:35:01 PM
 :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 25, 2008, 10:09:25 PM
 :rofl

 :aok

Mac
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 26, 2008, 02:02:01 AM
Dammmm PM's and now someone reported me to PETA....

Lighten up Nancy Boys... Geesh

Announcer:  "It's a nice day here at Baileys, slight wind from the South. Mac has a kitten in the middle of the fairway..Par 3...second shot... caddy hands him a club, he denies it and reaches into the bag.... 

Oh My Gawd he has a Chain Saw... there's a hush...."

 :O

*Screen fades to Black....*

-insert Viagra commercial-

 :huh
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 26, 2008, 12:04:38 PM
Mac I know you to be a great troller, bait us usually real fresh and catches many...

if this is a troll all the power, but if you really hit a kitten with a golf club I have lost respect for you as a person and hope you get run over by a car real soon you sick bastard.

Hands Mustaine a pair of needle nose pliers from the tacklebox..

"Here try these on that hook... Man yer lip doesn't look good."

 :P
Title: Re: COLF
Post by: ROX on May 26, 2008, 01:38:20 PM
Hands Mustaine a pair of needle nose pliers from the tacklebox..

"Here try these on that hook... Man yer lip doesn't look good."

 :P


Had that in my post from yesterday but later edited it out.

You forgot the line & sinker dangling from it.


Remember:
(http://www.entertainmentworlds.com/kittens.jpg) + (http://www.entertainmentworlds.com/golfclubs.jpg)  = FUN


ROX

Title: Re: COLF
Post by: AWMac on May 26, 2008, 02:16:01 PM
(http://www.savingadvice.com/images/blog/hellokittygolfballs1.jpg)
 :D