Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Tango on August 22, 2008, 05:57:17 PM
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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your
clock will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she
never told a lie.'
'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved
twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's Barack Osama’s clock?' asked the man.
'Obama's clock is in Jesus' office.
He's using it as a ceiling fan'!!
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :aok :rock
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lmfao :rofl :rofl :aok
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:rofl :rofl
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Ok, ok I overreacted. But post still reported.
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Oh, piss off. Post reported.
Why would you report this post? Grow a sense of humor.
*
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Oh, piss off. Post reported.
the democratic rebuttal!!
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I'm not sure about the re or the al, but the rest fits :) :D
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looks like you hit a nerve...
:rofl :rofl
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:aok
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looks like you hit a nerve...
:rofl :rofl
hehe
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Oh, piss off. Post reported.
I think it might be a good idea for you to go play in another sandbox, kid.
G'wan home... tell yer mother she loves yah.
buh-bye now...
<waves>
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Oh, piss off. Post reported.
Oh please grow up.
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Ok, ok I overreacted. But post still reported.
:rofl
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The truly odd part about Yossarian is his location. Apparently Obama has
a fan base in the UK :D
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Oh, piss off. Post reported.
DOWN with political caricature!! Politicians are saints stepped down from heaven!
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The truly odd part about Yossarian is his location. Apparently Obama has
a fan base in the UK :D
Long way to ship koolaid don't ya think? ;)
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See Rulea #5, #2
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(http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/forum/popcorn.gif)
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See Rule #2
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Believing something doesn't make it not a lie. I could believe with all my heart that the Earth does not revolve around the Sun, but that doesn't make it true.
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See Rule #2
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Mensa, lying is saying something you know is false.
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See Rule #2
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See Rule #2
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I don't see this thread ending well...
(http://www.entertainmentworlds.com/hillary001.bmp)
ROX
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I don't see this thread ending well...
(http://www.entertainmentworlds.com/hillary001.bmp)
ROX
What about it ROX? I was wrong and fully admit it.
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See Rule #2
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What about it ROX? I was wrong and fully admit it.
Mensa...my post had absolutely posiively NOTHING to do with you in any way shape or form.
:noid :noid :noid :noid
Jeesh dude.
ROX
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See Rule #2
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Mensa...my post had absolutely posiively NOTHING to do with you in any way shape or form.
:noid :noid :noid :noid
Jeesh dude.
ROX
Sorry, seemed to fit.
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See Rule #2
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Nevermind, should have read the whole thread first. :D
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Sorry, seemed to fit.
No offence intended.
No offence taken.
Read the initial joke and the 2 or 3 posts people made after the initial joke.
ROX
BTW: This joke made the rounds in 1969 when I was in 3rd grade, only the teller made YOU (the listener) the butt of the joke, and it wasn't heaven it was H-E-double-hockey-sticks, and "your" (the listener) clock was in Satan's office as a box fan.
Aw well.
I guess some jokes are generational.
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these posts are like professional sports... the loud mouths in the bleachers endlessly whining on about a brother on the playing field.
but then again... why is obama on the field... and not them. :rofl
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:cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :cry :confused:
:lol
Great Post!
Edit:
TORAQUE!!! Hey, how's it goin man? Hurry up and get that subscription again! We still got a spot in the 40th FS just for you!
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:lol
Great Post!
Edit:
TORAQUE!!! Hey, how's it goin man? Hurry up and get that subscription again! We still got a spot in the 40th FS just for you!
Thanks, glad you liked it! ;)
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I take it you must be an atheist. Atheism is still a belief. It may be a belief in nothing, but just as I have faith in God, you have faith in nothing.
Nope. I'm an agnostic. My usual response to bible thumpers is:
(http://www.geocities.com/evolvedthinking/skulls.jpg)
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Nope. I'm an agnostic. My usual response to bible thumpers is:
(http://www.geocities.com/evolvedthinking/skulls.jpg)
That yor Grandfather was a monkey???? :t
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NO but the great great greatx10500 grandfather was ;)
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Of course that brings up another question. If we evolved from Apes then why are the apes still around?
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Of course that brings up another question. If we evolved from Apes then why are the apes still around?
:noid
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Nope. I'm an agnostic. My usual response to bible thumpers is:
(http://www.geocities.com/evolvedthinking/skulls.jpg)
my usual response is "thats nice, goodbye"
it goes for anti-religious folk spouting off about the evils of organized religion as well.
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Of course that brings up another question. If we evolved from Apes then why are the apes still around?
We didn't evolve from apes. Where did you get that from?
Humans and apes had common ancestors. Saying humans evolved from apes is similar to saying apes evolved from humans. Neither are correct.
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Damn shame what we did to the neanderthals along the way...
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It's a theory, no proof.
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Scientific conjecture based on overwhelmingly observable evidence, I believe the phrase goes.
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Ahhh but it is a theory backed with huge amounts of evidence.
A heck of a lot more evidence than the grand alien overlord one.
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Edit: wait what? wrong thread!
I think it's about time I went to bed..... :rofl
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err.
nvm
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Of course that brings up another question. If we evolved from Apes then why are the apes still around?
Those are republicans:rofl
Sorry, i couldn't resist :D
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See Rule #2
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See Rule #2
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Oh my lazs...
:noid
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It's a theory, no proof.
OK, you can continue to take old outdated anti biotics, since, ya'know, bacteria doesn't evolve to resist them or anything.
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How did this go from a political joke (an old, overused one at that) to a discussion of evolution?
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How did this go from a political joke (an old, overused one at that) to a discussion of evolution?
It had to go through the theism-vs-atheism stage first.
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Obama was standing in line to meet St. Pete at the pearly gates. St Pete was asking each person what they accomplished during their life time. Obama finally gets to St. Pete and he ask him " well what did you do special in your life time"? Obama said that he was a great senator and then he became the first black president of the United States. St. Pete looked at him with disbelief and said "really, I never heard of this, when did this take place"? Obama said "oh, about 20minutes ago. :O
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How did this go from a political joke (an old, overused one at that) to a discussion of evolution?
Hijackers.
ROX
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Wow! Another thing we agree upon!! :rock
However, if I may relay the difference between agnosticism and atheism to those of you who don't know the difference:
Agnosticism is the mode of thought in which one doesn't know if there is a god due to lack of viable proof.. Although the possibility exists, however unlikely..
(sorry, but the bible proves nothing and is taken as truth based on faith alone)
An atheist basically has a complete disbelief in a god..
There are many different classifications of both Agnostics and Atheists... However, it's beyond the scope of this thread..
Bible thumpers usually don't know the difference between the two think they are the same thing... So I just wanted to clarify.. :devil
Nope. I'm an agnostic. My usual response to bible thumpers is:
(http://www.geocities.com/evolvedthinking/skulls.jpg)
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so you would say that whites look most like apes?
lazs
Actually,women are a half a chromosone away from chimpanzees.
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Wow, I've NEVER seen an off topic post like this... :O :O :O remember where it started... DOWN WITH POLITICIANS!!!!!!!!!!!! :rock :rock :rock reminds me of talking to one of my best friends, never stays on topic and always yells at you when you can't stand it anymore :D
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How did this go from a political joke (an old, overused one at that) to a discussion of evolution?
It is the O'club remember. Every post is about guns, religion, Obama or the weather. :aok
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Ya..She never lied when she said "AIDS is bad..but condoms are worse"
Would you bang the HOTTEST chick you've ever seen, KNOWING she had aides, but figuring it's safe because a thin rubber condom made in China would save you from getting a death sentence?
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Don't believe the preachings of an elderly virgin
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Ok, ok I overreacted. But post still reported.
Quick some one call him a waaahhhhhmmmmmbulance. :rolleyes:
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LOL Tango :aok
Chalk up another in the "how many can I Pi$$ off this time"
I wonder if 'Yello (Local joke) looks in......?
:rock
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I'm partial to this one instead of the skulls...
(http://www.northernsun.com/images/thumb/2214.jpg)
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How did this go from a political joke (an old, overused one at that) to a discussion of evolution?
It is a shame that a well told joke cannot be told on this board due to a handful of people who obviously cannot take a joke. I suggest those of you who sabotaged this thread consider taking a long look before making another post and disrutping another thread. I have no tolerance for people who simply cannot walk away from something they should not be responding to.
Well told Tango. Good joke.