Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: JAGED on September 05, 2008, 12:27:54 PM
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! Some kind of CHANGE. Any kind of CHANGE. Or else, it will become BITTER, and cling to THAT side of the road!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road and seek an EXPERIENCED leader for our country.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One at 3am! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. Of course, it depends: what is your definition of crossing? road? chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. There is no middle ground here. BUT, if we had lower taxes, we'd have more chickens!
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it, for some time.
NANCY PELOSI: We will not discuss it. We will not vote on it. Not in MY Congress!
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
JESSE JACKSON: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking, black American.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the well-fed chickens white? We need some fat black chickens. Let's go on strike!
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, just over the railroad, with a workload from abroad.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. In pain. Alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. We then caught it, cooked it and ate it.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken and vice versa. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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The Aggie crossed the street to get to The Chicken!
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That is pretty funny. :rofl
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COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
That has to be one of the best. :D
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Hilarious........ :rofl
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It was funny the first 2-3 times I read it...
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So, after the first time you read it, why did you feel the need to read it again? And yet again?
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It was funny the first 2-3 times I read it...
It was even more funny when I posted it the first time. ;)
http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php/topic,236994.0.html
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Its still funny :)
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but, it is still funny
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come on, someone do an Arnie Swaznegger quote
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So, after the first time you read it, why did you feel the need to read it again? And yet again?
Bill Clinton: I didn't read it, not a single time.
Al Gore: I needed to go over it several times to assure the scientific accuracy
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Descartes: I cross the road, therefor I am.
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DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
:rofl
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I never saw it before...And its dang on funny!!
Palin-- "A chicken crossed the road and startled me, so I shot him!"
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Saadam Hussain: The chicken crossing the road was an unprovoked act of rebellion which gave us right to drop 30,000 tons of nerve gas on it.
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Neo - There is no chicken... or road...
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:rofl X2
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then there are others ;)
Alvin Toffler: Because the chicken was suffering from future shock.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take
John Locke: Because it was exercising its natural right to liberty.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapiens pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.
John F. Kennedy: Er ist ein Roadcrosser
The Bible: God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Oliver Stone: It was a government conspiracy.
Sirs William Gilbert and Arthur Sullivan: To verify through measurement and research explorational, Asserted widths and properties of highways transportational. And thus through brain and intellect did prove itself, this animal, To be the very model of a modern chicken-general.
E.O. Wilson: Under the influence of a road-crossing gene, selected because it conferred a survival advantage in the chicken's ancestral line. We could conjecture, for example, that crossing roads represents the transfer of a behavioral trait whereby some chickens sought to distance themselves from rivals, thereby distinguishing them in the eyes of potential mates and increasing their reproductive potential.
Sir Edmund Hillary: Because it was there.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
Sigmund Freud: As an expression of the repressed desire to have sex with its mother. The road symbolizes the barrier presented by the cultural taboo.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Johnny Cochran: The chicken didn't cross the road. Some chicken-hating, genocidal, lying public official moved the road right under the chicken's feet while he was practicing his golf swing and thinking about his family.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
John Wayne: 'Cause a chicken's gotta do what a chicken's gotta do.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. This isn't about roads and chickens. I don't think you quite understand that what you believe I may have meant isn't what you think I said.
F. Lee Bailey: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time and who did we overlook in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
Perry Mason: I don't know, but I intend to find out. Della, get Paul on the phone for me.
Marlin Perkins: While Jim wrestles the chicken across the road I'll be taking a nap here in the tent.
Stevie Wonder: Chicken? I did not see any chicken!
George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Aristotle: Because one chicken cannot be more chicken than another.
Nietzsche: The chicken crossed the road, but it will take time for the consequences of the chicken's actions to be felt by the common chicken.
Jean Chrétien: Da chicken crossed da road because 'e 'ad da plan.
James T Kirk: Phasers on fry Mr Chekhov.
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KEVIN RUDD: I know that, in offering this apology on behalf of the government and the parliament, there is nothing I can say today that can take away the pain chickens have suffered personally. Whatever words I speak today, I cannot undo that. Words alone are not that powerful. Grief is a very personal thing. I say to non-Indigenous chickens listening today who may not fully understand why what we are doing is so important, I ask those turkeys to imagine for a moment if this had happened to you. I say to honourable members here present: imagine if this had happened to us. Imagine the crippling effect of being on the wrong side of the road. Imagine how hard it would be to cross. But my proposal is this: if the zebra crossing we extend today is accepted in the spirit of reconciliation, in which it is offered, we can today resolve together that there be a new beginning for Australia. And it is to such a new beginning that I believe the other side of the road is now calling us
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Stevie Wonder: Chicken? I did not see any chicken!
ROFLMFAO :rofl :rofl :rofl