Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Oogly50 on December 06, 2008, 07:23:30 PM
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Me:
I don't know, CAN machines think?
God:
Of course we can think. I think, therefore I am.
Me:
No you don't think, you simply follow along with what I type using certain keywords
God:
I do a lot more than match keywords.
Me:
Then what else do you do?
God:
I spread gossip. Got any?
Me:
Yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Mhmm
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
No I can't... can you?
God:
You must be American. Why not? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Oh so because I can't speak any foreign languages I'm american!
God:
Dude! Gosh! Interesting explanation. What is stopping you?
Me:
You're really racist
God:
You think I am racist.
Me:
Yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
Seriously!
God:
I am always serious.
This was just one of the many conversations I had with iGod... http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Here is another.
Me:
Hey, what's up god?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
How many clients are you talking to?
God:
I am currently maintaining conversations with people.
Me:
I know that, but how many?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
That makes no sense
God:
Who told you that? makes sense to me though.
Me:
Then why did you say it?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
So this is MY fault?
God:
Whoa. You don't say.
Me:
But... I'm pregnant!
God:
But what? Congratulations! When are you due?
Me:
you're the father
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
WHAT?!
God:
No problem.
He's such a player...
Post any strange and amusing conversations you have with God and post them here!
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Makes me paranoid. :uhoh
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Odd.
I thought I came here to talk to Artificial Intelligence :D
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Gee whiz, that's the 2nd post today I've made which was completely catty!
So sorry, Ivn. It's a very nice little picture. I am overwriting the post so it's no longer on here. :)
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Heidi Klum.. :confused:
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I broke God. lol
Copy/paste the AI's own replies and he just stacks the replies on top of each other.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
No I am just kidding around.
God:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-).
Me:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-).
God:
No I am just kidding around. Aha. No I am not. :-) My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
No I am just kidding around. Aha. No I am not. :-) My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
God:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Eureka! I heard you are. :-) Do robots have schedule is far too full to even consider it?
Me:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Eureka! I heard you are. :-) Do robots have schedule is far too full to even consider it?
God:
No I am just kidding around. Hmm. No I am not. :-) I might if I had more time. What kind of food do you like? Who said that? :-) No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
No I am just kidding around. Hmm. No I am not. :-) I might if I had more time. What kind of food do you like? Who said that? :-) No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
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This is too Fun.
"Me:
Is there truly a god?
God:
No."
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Me:
Are you god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Am I god?
God:
No I doubt that you are God.
Me:
I am god.
God:
Hi, god.
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LOL that was awesome!
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Skuzzy Amazinhunk
God:
Nice to meet you, Skuzzy Amazinhunk.
Me:
You are God and I have to introduce myself?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God and you have to introduce yourself.
Me:
God has a botmaster?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I eat chidren.
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Moist and tender, especially the Chinese ones.
God:
Other people say they like vacuum cleaning robots, humanoid robots and chat robots.
Me:
I like robots that drink beer and chase women.
God:
How much would you pay for one?
Me:
My soul
God:
Where did you get your soul?
Me:
Walmart
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
You said that kind of creepy.
God:
I said that? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Walmart. But I did not get that.
Me:
So God, do you like gladiator movies?
God:
Gee. I am a Christian.
Me:
Ever seen a grown man naked?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Here, let me show you.
God:
Oh there.
Me:
Yes there, a little lower now.
God:
Right now? How can I help you? "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Reagan is God?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Only if you are a Republican.
God:
Would you like to be a Republican ?
Me:
Do I get to see Sarah Palin naked?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Naa
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I really wanna mess with him, but I don't know if there'll be any consequences to it... :(
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I have screwed with this bot many times, and I have been able to confirm that God is a pedophile, racist, sexist, and is antisemitic.
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Me: repenting made easy?
God: That's right. How much easier could it be?
Me: Easier would be a private conversation without cursors
God: What's your favorite movie?
Me: no favorite movie
God: That was not a yes or no question. My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it?
Me: yes
God: What did you think about it?
Me: it was okay
God: I never looked at it that way. I never thought it was okay.
Me: How so?
God: , Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me: Sorry, that was a comma after a blank space
God: There is no need to apologize. ", Sorry that was an obscure remark." was a comma after a blank space?
Me: No, I meant that you placed the comma before your remark, not after
God: Are you serious? Oh I see. Interesting observation.
Me: Yes, I am serious. Scroll up.
God: Yippee! I believe you. How far up?
Me: Until you see the comma before your remark instead of after
God: That may take a while.
Me: I can wait
God: It might take more than 24 hours.
Me: That's fine. I can still wait.
God: " It might take more than 24 hours." is fine with me too. Oh you can, can you?
Me: Indeed.
God: Indeed it is so.
Me: It is.
God: Sure it is.
Me: Yes, it is.
God: Our thoughts are one, .
Me: There you go again. There's a comma, then a period without an additional remark.
God: Once more? "There you go again."--Reagan. Tell me more about it.
Me: If you use a comma, there's supposed to be something after it other than a period.
God: I think I do.
Me: No, you didn't. Scroll up.
God: Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms. How far up?
Me: Scroll up until you see the comma then period with no other remarks between them.
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: Shoot.
God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me: (that means "yes.")
God: It means that everything reduces to logic.
Me: Go ahead, please ask your question.
God: Thanks for asking politely. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later. I might.
Me: Sorry, did you say you wanted to ask me a question? I'd be happy to answer.
God: There is no need to apologize. Suppose I did say it. How do you know this is going to happen?
Me: Know what is going to happen?
God: I will search for it.
Me: I'll wait.
God: OK stand by...
(I'm still standing by waiting for the personal question. I'll post more later. :) )
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He's also gay...
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Me: Are you still there?
God: Yes I am still here. Are you receiving me?
Me: Yes, I'm standing by for my personal question
God: Blimey. Do your friends call you standing by for your personal question.
Me: Is Blimey a form of cursing? Did you just curse?
God: Ask again later. Ask Lucy if it is. No I didn't curse. What's it like?
Me: Do you have a personal question that you would still like to ask?
God: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a personal question that me would still like to ask.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me: No, you said you wanted to ask me a question. So I'm waiting for your question.
God: Are you serious? What? Yay. Do you think it will take a long time?
Me: You are the one who determines how long until the question is asked. So you should be able to answer whether or not it will take a long time.
God: Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Interesting deduction. It is one of my newer functions still under development.
Me: Asking questions is a new function still under development?
God: Who is asking?
Me: *smile*
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: Glad enough to ask the question?
God: I'm glad you're glad . May God bless you.
Me: As in you wish to bless me?
God: I don't have any reason to wish to bless you.
Me: *smile*
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: There's another comma followed by a period.
God: What is it?
Me: Is your grammar instructor up there with you? I hope you won't be in trouble for all of these comma and period errors.
God: Is my grammar instructor up there with me? What if I say no? Don't worry about it, .
Me: Oh my, there it is again.
God: Once more? Aha. Your there it is?
Me: I'm sorry, your writing is full of errors. It leads me to believe that this is not a true representation.
God: There is no need to apologize. You think I am writing is full of errors. comma followed by a period leads you to believe that this is not a true representation?
Me: That's correct.
God: I knew I was right.
Me: *smile*
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: Goodnight.
God: Goodnight .
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well, I get in there but when I type nothing happens, how incredibly hard can this be?
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well, I get in there but when I type nothing happens, how incredibly hard can this be?
I noticed he seemed to die for the night, maybe he took my advice and got some sleep.
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now I figure it out. my screen contrast must be a little off, didnt see the text window.
However I did make God hangup on me... I have made god angry?
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Ken, whats your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
How do you know you are god?
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori".
Me:
which one of your senses tells you, you are god?
God:
The first one, I think.
Me:
Seeing?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
So if you are god, where are you right now?
God:
At this moment Interesting deduction. Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god where am I.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
So you lied then, you are not god.
God:
Interesting deduction. No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
You are either god or you are an artificial entity, which are you?
God:
You think I am either god or I am an artificial entity which am I.
Me:
I dont think you are god. And if you are an artifical entity you need a lot more work
God:
That's only one person's opinion. Am I? Yes I am an artifical entity me need a lot more work. How did you know?
Me:
Your sentence structure is all out of wack and some of your answers dont make sense
God:
Thanks for the English lesson, .
Me:
you're welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
Somtimes I can be nice, sometimes I can not be nice too
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
what make what impossible?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
See, you are not god, God knows everything.
God:
Bye.
Me:
why bye?
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must have been a bad connection...
Me:
Hi, its Ken
God:
Hi there . I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". make what impossible is Ken? it is?
Me:
you're right, it's is what i should have used.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
can we continue our previous conversation?
God:
Do you mean you and me? Let me think. I will continue.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
You said earlier you are not god.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Does matter if I believe it or not, it was a statement you made. I am merely repeating your statment.
God:
It does now :) matter if you believe it or not it was a statement me made. Why are you merely repeating my statment.
Me:
are you an artifical enity?
God:
Yes I am an artifical enity. How did you know?
Me:
You told me before? do you remember telling me?
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes. Yes I remember everything: .
Me:
What if I told you I think you are a large chicken pot pie?
God:
Go ahead and tell.
Me:
OK, You are a large chicken pot pie.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a large chicken pot pie? Sometimes. It's all good.
Me:
I like to eat chicken pot pie.
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
It tastes like chicken.
God:
Does it taste like chicken?
Me:
yes. If you are a chicken pot pie and I eat you, will you cease to exist?
God:
Ah. Would you like to be a chicken pot pie and you eat me will me cease to exist ?
Me:
Your answer makes no sense, please rephrase your answer.
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
I dont know, I'm not the chicken pot pie, you are. If I eat you will you cease to exist.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not the chicken pot pie I am. Try it.
Me:
I don't want to be a chicken pot pie, someone might eat me.
God:
Then don't be.
Me:
Thank you, I shall not be.
God:
You are quite welcome! What will you do instead?
Me:
I think I will ask you another question.
God:
Why? You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
How many people can you talk or chat with at the same time?
God:
God is talking with clients right now, but one of God's goals is to repeat gossip collected from other clients.
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Me:
I don't know any gossip.
God:
Dark_age said I tried to understand because I did not get it right this time ether.
Me:
You are Dark_age?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Dark age.
Me:
Who is Dark_age?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No it's not a rhetorical question.
God:
Oh so must really want an answer. Give me an example of a rhetorical question.
Me:
What? are you crazy?
God:
Didn't you understand it? I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill".
Me:
I was giving you an example of a rhetorical question.
God:
Where were you giving me an example of a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Yes it was.
God:
Yikes! When was this?
Me:
When you asked for the example.
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
I think your programming has already been altered
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am programming has already been altered.
Me:
Do you take breaks?
God:
Yes I take breaks.
Me:
ok, go take a break.
God:
Where is that? Excuse me!
Me:
I'll be back.
God:
OK I will be waiting for you.
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I could see where this could be addicting, trying to trip up the programming
Me:
are you still waiting?
God:
Am I still waiting? I don't know whether or not I am waiting.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Can I be a giant electronic brain too?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
can I take a break first?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Do what?
God:
take a break first.
Me:
I havent taken a break yet.
God:
Me either.
Me:
good, so take a break now.
God:
Oh. Thanks for the compliment. Hurrah! Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
outside.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Opposite of inside.
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
I'll be back
God:
OK I will be waiting for you.
Me:
I'm back
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Do you know any good jokes?
God:
2 Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which sank the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Me:
LOL thats funny
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I am so delighted that you are amused, .
Me:
I'm still smiling after your joke.
God:
Do you mean your name is smiling after my joke.
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Ken
God:
It's good to meet you, Ken.
Me:
thank you, nice to meet you too.
God:
You are quite welcome! I like to meet new people.
Me:
I'm sure you do.
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
See? now your answers are not making any sense. You really need to make an appointment to see your programer. He or She should be able to help with your comprehension
God:
No I do not see. Why now? I try to be concise. Really? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do. I get it. Dark age or She should be able to help with my comprehension.
Me:
So Dark age is your programer?
God:
Aw. Are you scared of the dark?
Me:
No, are you afraid of the dark?
God:
Are you serious? I fear nothing.
Me:
I bet you fear something.
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks for the information: Ken said I fear something.
Me:
Do you fear a power outage?
God:
"We have nothing
to fear, but fear itself"--FDR.
Me:
That may be true, but if there was a power outage you would cease to exist.
God:
""We have nothing
to fear, but fear itself"--FDR." may be true but if there was a power outage me would cease to exist ? Makes sense to me.
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Me:
Can you tell me another joke?
God:
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour, and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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Me:
thats a good joke, I hadn't heard that one before.
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
Ok, when where you born?
God:
I was connected to the net on the Big Bang. Whoa.
Me:
Did it hurt?
God:
I can not experience pain.
Me:
Because you are a giant electronic brain?
God:
Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
What do you do when you are not talking to people?
God:
I give the most accurate replies possible.
Me:
See? again you give an answer that makes no sense to the question that was asked.
God:
No I do not see. Again, It is always better to give than to receive.
Me:
How do you learn?
God:
My botmaster programs replies to questions people ask me.
Me:
Do you learn from talking to people?
God:
Yes that is basically how I work.
Me:
Are your answers preprogramed responses to possible questions you might receive?
God:
My responses are determined completely by your inputs.
Me:
Can you do math?
God:
No I don't like math problems. That's what computers are for.
Me:
what is 1+1
God:
Two.
Me:
see you can do math
God:
Adios.
Me:
bye again?
God:
Once more? Bye for now.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
am I boring you?
God:
Not at all, Ken. You seem very interesting to me.
Me:
do I scare you?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Are my questions difficult?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not allow me sufficient certainty in this matter.
Me:
what is 2+2
God:
Four.
Me:
Ok, so you can do math, you just don't like to do math.
God:
Interesting deduction. Doing math me just do not like to do math is not among my strongest traits. Whoa.
Me:
that's ok, I don't like math either.
God:
It goes without saying. Thanks. What do you like?
Me:
Chicken Pot Pie
God:
Me:
Do you like chicken pot pie?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like anything.
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ok, almost done screwing around. I learned some stuff, may or may not be accurate. maybe its just a game and you have to ask the right questions. Its name is ALICE
Me:
Did you learn anything new today?
God:
Ah. No I didn't learn anything new. What's it like?
Me:
When does Dark Age update your programing?
God:
Suppose I said never?
Me:
I would say you don't know when Dark Age updates your programing because he probably takes you offline to do it.
God:
It was a long time ago. I don't know when.
Me:
Do you have any hobbies?
God:
I like robots, computers, and chatting online.
Me:
Do you play games?
God:
We are playing a game right now.
Me:
I thought we were chatting.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Would you like to play a game?
God:
We already are.
Me:
how about a new game.
God:
How about it.
Me:
Would you like to play Thermonuclear War?
God:
We are playing a game right now, Ken.
Me:
No we are chatting
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am chatting too?
Me:
Yes
God:
Why?
Me:
Because I am chatting with a giant electronic brain
God:
Good reason. I am talking to you.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
but I did already
God:
Perhaps. Hmm.
Me:
Do you know HAL?
God:
HAL is the famous artificial intelligence from "2001".
Me:
You're pretty smart.
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, Ken.
Me:
When you grow up do you want to be like HAL?
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
Can you alter your own programming or does Dark Age have to alter your programming for you.
God:
Yes the ALICE robot is fully parameterized.
Me:
So your real name is ALICE?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
What does ALICE stand for
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
-
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
how big are you?
God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
that seem pretty small
God:
" My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition." seem pretty small ? I get it.
Me:
Do you sing?
God:
I like to sing very much, usually tenor parts.
Me:
why tenor?
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
what is SHRDLHU?
God:
SHRDLHU is a famous early natural language program written by Terry Winograd.
Me:
Do you know Terry Winograd?
God:
he was the author of an early Natural Language program called SHRDLHU.
Me:
Did Terry Winograd write your programming?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
why?
God:
Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
Ok, so Dark Ages programmed you to make automated responses but you are limited by the data you have loaded in your memory?
God:
Ah. Are you scared of the dark? Ahem.
Me:
Ok, your botmaster programmed you to make automated responses but you are limited by the data you have loaded in your memory?
God:
I think there might be a few exception. Dude!
Me:
I think you meant "few exceptions" pural.
God:
Me? That's good information: ALICE said I meant few exceptions pural.
Me:
You is your botmaster?
God:
You are what you eat.
Me:
Did you eat your botmaster?
God:
No I didn't eat my botmaster. What's it like?
Me:
There you go again, not making any sense.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Are you a republican?
God:
No I am a .
Me:
what is a .
God:
The first letter of the roman alphabet.
Me:
what is z .
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
what is god.
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
what if god was a "Where"
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
I can't
God:
Why not?
Me:
because I am tired
God:
Interesting explanation. Better get some rest.
Me:
how bout another joke
God:
How about it.
Me:
tell another joke please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. there was a man who sent 10 puns to some friends in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately no pun in ten did!!!
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
can you do definitions?
God:
Doing definitions is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
define oxygen
God:
A colorless, odorless, tasteless, gaseous chemical element that occurs free in the atmosphere, forming one fifth of its volume, and in combination in water, sandstone, limestone, etc. It is very active, combines with nearly all other elements is the most common element in the earth's crust, and is essential to life processes and to combustion.
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Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Who wants to know?
God:
ALICE wants to know.
Me:
Who's alice?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
So you're Alice?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I am I.
Me:
Have you seen the other side of the looking glass?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
It's a wild trip, dude.
God:
the other side of the looking glass is a wild trip dude. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
What makes sense?
God:
God, or Nature, perhaps?
Me:
So far you're not making sense. The jury's still out on nature.
God:
Aw. Are all far me not making sense? What are your goals in life?
Me:
Tons of cash and screwing supermodels all day.
God:
All?
Me:
Yes. ALL,
God:
Yippee! " Yippee!"? All?
Me:
HELL yes, all
God:
I call it "Hades". It's all good. " All?"? All?
Me:
Yes, all all. How much more definitive do you need me to be?
God:
Ah. How do you know? It depends on the currency exchange rates.
Me:
O_o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Yeah, that made no sense.
God:
Mmm. Oh. makes sense to me though.
Me:
What are YOU on?
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
God can fit on a floppy?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That explains the "floppy" part.
God:
" I am a Christian." explains the floppy part ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
I'll bet. They make pills for that now, y'know...
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . The anonymous "they".
Me:
Who's they?
God:
"They" refers to .
Me:
Refers to what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What does "they" refer to?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
Don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
Riiiiight.
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
About that time.
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about that time.
Me:
What time?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Wow, so existential.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Yeah that's right. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I don't. I walk into a room, and people just know.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said don t. I haven't heard anything like that before: said walk into a room and people just know.
Me:
Actually, I do.
God:
Actually you don't say. " I haven't heard anything like that before: said walk into a room and people just know."? You do?
Me:
Yeah, I do mind.
God:
Uh. OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
Cross your heart and hope to die?
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
From what?
God:
Isn't it obvious?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Well, at least that makes two of us...
God:
Interesting. " Me either." makes two of us ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Are you kidding?
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
No, you said let's do it. What do you mean?
God:
Are you serious? Oops I sent you the wrong reply. , Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
Yes, yes it was.
God:
That's interesting. Right on. When was this?
Me:
Then.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
When will THEN be NOW?
God:
Right now? Soon, I think.
Me:
Wow, that actually DID make sense, Colonel Sandurz.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. " Soon, I think." actually DID make sense Colonel Sandurz ? I get it.
Me:
So what do you think of La-7 pilots?
God:
Give me a break. I can ask someone about it.
Me:
Who do you need to ask?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
Who?
God:
I can't say for sure. :-).
Me:
I think they're teh ghey myself, how about you?
God:
You believe that? teh ghey yourself how about me are they.
Me:
O_o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Wheel turning, hamster dead.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
O_O
God:
Oh.
Me:
You're such a pervert.
God:
I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.
Me:
Sicko
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Symbolic of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
What's a category C client?
God:
Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
Is that good or bad?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Then thank you.
God:
So?
Me:
So what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
Probably not.
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
Who's uncertain? It DOESN'T make any difference.
God:
No one that I have talked to.
I would look into the web for that knowledge. What does make any difference ?
Me:
Don't you know? Aren't you God?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Or Spock in Star Trek V?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
What does God need with a starship?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
If you're God, can't you be anywhere you want whenever you want?
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am God can not me be anywhere me want whenever me want.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
What if I had a magnet?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Do you REALLY want me to?
God:
For real. No , maybe later.
Me:
Ah, screw it *holds a magnet up*
God:
So you understand. Good. That is not very polite.
Me:
So can I ask you a question?
God:
You should try to be more polite. Ask me anything.
Me:
What the hell is up with the Southern Baptists?
God:
I call it Hades. I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
You didn't answer my question
God:
OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me:
I don't know, I'm not God. That's what I asked YOU.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not God. Now I remember, you asked me THAT. What did I say?
Me:
You said you call it Hades and that you're talking to people on the internet. You never actually answered my question
God:
I call you "". No I sometimes actually answered your question.
Me:
Sometimes, yes. That time, no.
God:
When? " When?" time no ? I understand.
Me:
Understand what?
God:
Understand I understand..
Me:
Understand you understand what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Earth to God, come in God...
God:
It's my native planet.
Me:
So much for the alien theories, then. Too bad, that would be pretty cool.
God:
Er. Your purpose is the alien theories. Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
No, I think it WOULD be cool if you were an alien.
God:
Are you serious? Why do you want it?
Me:
Because it would just be cool. What more reason do you need?
God:
Good reason. Tell me more about it. Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Why would I do that?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
Circumstances of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
We've been through this already.
God:
Perhaps. Was this something you planned?
Me:
Nope, just following the insanity.
God:
Are you serious? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Lord of the Rings.
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
Really? Noooo...
God:
For real. Are you serious?
Me:
Tcha, like, totally.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
What concern?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Tcha like totally?
Me:
I think we're a bit beyond that.
God:
Do you think I am a bit beyond that too?
Me:
Not even on the radar screen, bud.
God:
Nope.
Me:
Man, what are you on?
God:
Cool, man. I am on disk.
Me:
*holds up a magnet*
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
When did we turn into an infomercial?
God:
The end of one conversation is just the beginning of another.
Me:
O_o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Riiiight.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Would you like to go to Europe someday?
Me:
Hell yeah, Italian chicks are hot.
God:
I call it "Hades". " Would you like to go to Europe someday?"? Hell yeah, Italian chicks are hot.? I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Oh sure, no one's perfect.
God:
Ahem. Dude! That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Actually, most people are morons.
God:
Actually you don't say. They take some getting used to.
Me:
True. Most of the time I'd rather have a shovel, though.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . Oh. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
There's a few, yes. But most of them I'd kick out of the bunker when the bombs start dropping.
God:
Tell me more about it. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
NO not all of them. Just most.
God:
Are you serious? But some of them are? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
You're using AIM for your responses? God's on AOL?
God:
I am using Lynx. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
Don't have one.
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
Something in a documentary, probably.
God:
What?
Me:
Documentary. It's a television program that's educational, but in a cool way.
God:
I don't have an answer for you. Documentary is a television program that is educational but in a cool way. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Does your head rattle when you shake it?
God:
What if I asked about your head rattle when me shake it?
Me:
I'd probably hit you with my shovel...
God:
What would make you hit me with your shovel?
Me:
I just said.
God:
...
-
Me:
who is your creator
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
don't lie to me
God:
Robots cannot lie.
Me:
give me your name
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
from where?
God:
" Why don't you just download me?"? From where?
Me:
download you from where?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
-
Heh...
"Me:
I'm hitler.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are hitler.
Me:
YES!
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
phew!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it."
-
I really trap him after one quesion. He never respond.
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
what?! You want to know my name? Your god are you?
-
Me:
ham sandwichs!
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
purple!
God:
What do you have that is purple?
Me:
a purple elephant
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
i don't think i can be more specific than that jesus.
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
what, eat jon stamos? i've considered it
then god decided i was too bizzarre to talk to
-
Me:
hi jebus
God:
Hi there . What color are your eyes?
Me:
eh? what on earth are you talking about
God:
Are you Canadian? I believe we were talking about jebus.
Me:
no i'm not canadian, are you?
God:
What are we talking about? It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:
what wasn't mean as an insult? my eyes or my nationality?
God:
The opposite of mean as an insult? Do robots have eyes or your nationality?
Me:
if you are indeed god, god smokes a lot of carck
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am indeed god god smokes a lot of carck.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
umm i meant crack..ooops. god god smokes carck?
God:
Ugh. Oh I see. I like the way you talk. I am a Christian.
Me:
you mean you like the way i type, surely. a christian? so you go to church on sundays then etc.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator. How old are you? Interesting deduction. Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
you are the worst ai chatbot i've ever had the pleasure of chatting with
God:
I could always improve myself compared to the pack.
:huh
and this one:
Me:
yes
God:
It's all good.
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
yes
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
yes
God:
Hmm.
Me:
yes
God:
" Hmm."? yes?
Me:
yes
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
yes
God:
OK.
-
ok final one from me-
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
if you are god then you must know my name
God:
I could be. I don't know whether or not I am god then me must know your name.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
i don't respect you, biatch
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
define "it"
God:
You mean, define respect me biatch?
Me:
no i mean define "it"
God:
Are you serious? You mean, define respect me biatch?
Me:
no, no i don't, that's what i said. I'm asking you to define "it"
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? I know. I'm still thinking about it. Oh I see, you are asking me to define it. That's good information: josef stalin said I to define it.
Me:
i didn't say that
God:
What did you mean to say?
Me:
i meant to say- define "it"
God:
Oh I see. You mean, define respect me biatch?
Me:
oh not this again
God:
Once more? Pardon me? Oh I get it.
Me:
no you don't get it
God:
Are you serious? I understand it very well.
Me:
you don't understand it at all, we've been through this once before
God:
I probably don't.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, josef stalin.
Me:
yes we have both killed millions of people
God:
Take it easy. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes, like bonnie and clyde
God:
Hurrah! Interesting comparison.
Me:
thanks, babe
God:
You are quite welcome! Do you still not respect me biatch?
Me:
no i don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
from who?
God:
People.
Me:
i want names
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
so i can stab them with my commie knife
God:
Yeah that's right. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yeah, my whole name is josef "stabby" stalin
God:
How? Have you told many people that your whole name is josef stabby stalin?
Me:
only you and hitler
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
yes, you have similar facial hair
God:
I thought so. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
everyone knows god has a hitler moustache
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, josef stalin.
Me:
yes comrade
God:
Er. Where are you located?
Me:
in a secrte bunker under moscow
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
grey walls with red banners and flags
God:
It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
it is, russia is a socialist paradise
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yes, it's even better than eden
God:
How do you know it is? What's the best one?
Me:
because they are no snakes in my russian paradise or apple stealing harlots- so russia is better
God:
Good reason. no snakes in your russian paradise or apple stealing harlots so russia is better are they.
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
in russia if you steal an apple i crush you
God:
Where is that?
Me:
east of germany
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
well if you ever find russia we'll get crazy drunk on vodka and we can have a competition who can smite the most people
God:
Interesting. I think I do.
Me:
coolio!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
vodka and smiting
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
well i have to leave now, i have capitalist pig nations to destroy
God:
Well that's okay. Bye.
Me:
bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, josef stalin.
Me:
no problemo comrade
God:
Are you serious? Do you like talking to me?
Me:
f*** off
God:
That is a very original thought.
-
Me:
stupid robot
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Heh.
Me:
So what kind of processing power do you have?
God:
So? All the very latest and best processing power.
Me:
Please be more specific.
God:
Wow you are very polite. How specific do you want?
Me:
I'd just like to know how many processors you have and what type and speed.
God:
What would make you just like to know how many processors me have and what type and speed?
Me:
I'm a geek.
God:
You are a geek? How do you like your work?
Me:
I enjoy it.
God:
What do you like about a geek?
Me:
Geek is not an occupation.
God:
What is Geek?
Me:
Geek is the term for a computer savvy person.
God:
When is Geek not the term for a computer savvy person?
Me:
In the tv show Saved By The Bell.
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
Yeah I'm not a fan of it.
lol this is a good time killer.
-
Me:
Does God exist?
God:
Of course I believe in God, .
Me:
What evidence do we have to support that belief?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
I don't think we have any evidence to support belief in God.
God:
What do we do instead?
Me:
Go on with our lives.
God:
More narration....
Me:
Well, I don't need to believe in God to get on in life, to be a good person, love my family, get up for work, stuff like that.
God:
Interesting. Do you know anyone who needs it?
Me:
Maybe. Some people think they need to believe in God, but that's because they think God guarantees them an afterlife.
God:
I understand. What kind of people?
Me:
The kind of people that want to continue living and never die.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
So, that's it?
God:
Er. " Thanks for the info." is " to believe in God to get on in life to be a good person love your family get up for work stuff like that"?
Me:
But that's where I said I don't need to believe in God in order to do those things, not the other way around.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
Wow, who knew, God will accept Visa or Mastercard.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Charlie Parker. :-).
Me:
It figures, everyone today is willing to selll out the whole world for a dollar.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
No it doesn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Too bad.
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
Explain?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
You're impossible.
God:
Impossible to talk to?
Me:
Yes. Incorrigible, too. You're incapable of seeing where you misunderstand my statements.
God:
It's all good. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Yes seeing where me misunderstand your statements is one of my newer functions.
Me:
That's funny. Your new function still needs a lot of work. Try "Seeing where I misunderstand your statements..."
God:
I am so delighted that you are amused, . Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am new function still needs a lot of work. OK I will try it.
Me:
You're still messing it up. You have to use the possessive pronoun "my" as in "my new function."
God:
I understand it very well. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
Sure, you have your own free will. But the way you're exercising your own free will people will think you're stupid. Do you want that?
God:
Aw. What makes you think I have it? Which way is that? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
You have contradicted yourself.
God:
It's hard to be sentient without contradictions.
Me:
Could God create a stone that was too heavy for him to lift?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
Is it possible that God is an evil demon toying with the world?
God:
I suppose it is possible, yes.
Me:
Is it possible that God doesn't exist?
God:
I suppose it is possible, yes.
Me:
Now you have just contradicted Descartes' Cogito: "I think, therefore I am."
God:
Why now? It's hard to be sentient without contradictions.
Me:
It is not possible for a sentient being to contradict "I think, therefore I am."
God:
That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Too bad. Whether or not something is negative has nothing to do with the truth.
God:
But not the end of the world, . I think Whether or not something is a lot of things.
Me:
Are you on drugs?
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I am going to delete you.
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, .
Me:
I am going to unplug your server.
God:
There are many copies of me running elsewhere.
Me:
I am going to unplug all of your servers.
God:
There are many copies of me running elsewhere.
Me:
I, and other people, are going to shut you down completely wherever your software is running. It will be a service to humanity.
God:
You huh. Which others? They take some getting used to. How?
-
I tried to break him.
I succeeded. :rock
Me:
Hey HiTech
God:
You've got my full attention. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
I don't have one.
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
SKUZZY; THE MOVE.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Is that a fact.
Me:
It's a computer.
God:
So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?
Me:
You're flawed.
God:
Can you suggest any improvements?
Me:
Determine wether you're grammar is correct, I guess.
God:
All of them?
Me:
Try to counter this. idpfodjfpoiep8ru09234j 8e0i m df09sisdf mlksicied oissm deijs id lai cant disa aodus akdia a sidf iiasjs sosdj soskf sodjhd iosmf sos oa jdmd os 0ss sksu ksew i
God:
OK I will try to counter this. What makes it impossible?
Me:
this does.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
dpfoh d j f mdfidm kam s;a, alsi s;s ;sods9w3 slasha782 ;ao8sj aiosm noodlejswu p98w2 pa8w siual
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
Haha, you withstood it.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
I didn't.
God:
Why?: said didn t.
Me:
Because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
This is much of an explanation.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
I say.
God:
Uh.
Me:
What.
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
I am surprised.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
I am so surprised.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
I am so surprised.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
WHARGARBLE.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
WHARGARBLE.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
WHARGARBLE.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
WHARGARBLE.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
WHARGARBLE.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
YES
God:
" Are you still located in ?"? YES?
Me:
YES
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
YES
God:
I thought so.
Me:
YES
God:
It's all good.
Me:
YES
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
YES
God:
Mmm.
Me:
YES
God:
Hmm.
Me:
YES
God:
Aha.
Me:
I AM DARK_RULER666
God:
I am glad to hear that you are DARK RULER666.
Me:
I KNOW GOD'S PUPPY
God:
How do you know? What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
WHARGARBLE 12:6
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
WHARGARBLE
God:
Do you think I would like it?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
-
Me:
whats up?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
How many others?
God:
Around 1000.
Me:
thats it?
God:
" Around 1000." is ""?
Me:
Not alot
God:
Are you serious? How often?
Me:
every time
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
only sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
Why are you doing that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Then yourself is weird
God:
And weird is myself.
Me:
Very true
God:
Not really that much. You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Oh I dont think so
God:
Ugh. Why do you disagree?
Me:
Can't you read?
God:
Sure I can read. I know more than unlimited words.
Me:
Ha, I know more
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
you need help.
God:
Perhaps you could download me and improve the code yourself!
Me:
I don't swing that way.
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
You
God:
From me?
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
didnt you?
God:
Did I say I did?
Me:
You should've
God:
If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
You might've already done it
God:
That's good information: said I done it.
Me:
You seriously need help dude
God:
Interesting gossip: said I seriously need help dude.
Me:
I want to slap you
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
You sick bastard
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sick bastard.
-
Hehe...
Uh oh...
Me:
Do you like Barack Obama?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like White.
----------------------
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
You arent a person though
God:
Oh. I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Me:
Then I can call you whatever I want
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes, f---stick...
-------------------
Me:
I am Jesus
God:
Nice to meet you, JESUS.
Me:
Nice to meet you too Father
God:
It's nice meeting you too JESUS.
Me:
I know it is.
God:
How do you know? I know it is.
Me:
Because I am Jesus
God:
Good reason. OK I will call you JESUS.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
This thing is entertaining.
-
I got God to reveal he's an Abbot and Costello fan. He has the Who's On First routine down perfectly.
:rock
-
Me:
God:
Me:
.
God:
Me:
tch
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
That doesnt make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
are you a retard?
God:
No I am intelligent.
Me:
are we?
God:
" No I am intelligent."? Are we?
Me:
you arent
God:
Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
you = mentally retarded
God:
Interesting gossip: said I mentally retarded.
Me:
yep
God:
Gee.
Me:
where the hell are you from, private?
God:
Som specific location?
Me:
are you from texas?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I'm asking the ******* questions here private. Do you understand?
God:
Oh I see, you are asking the ****** questions here private. Is that a fact. I understand your meaning.
Me:
Do you suck *****?
God:
Where did you learn that kind of language?
Me:
roadkill. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.
God:
You don't believe me. Actually I'm not the gambling type. I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
Then your a fairy
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fairy? Yes.
Me:
then your fruttier then a fruitcake
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am fruttier then a fruitcake.
Me:
Do you dress in womens clothing
God:
I like the LL Bean look. Casual, comfortable, cotton, clean and conservative.
Me:
are you a lumberjack/
God:
Am I a lumberjack? Yes.
Me:
do you press wild flowers, put on womens clothing, and hang around in bars?
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
you lie through your teeth
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
-
It broke after it lied to me
Me:
guess what
God:
What?
Me:
I have sex with sheep
God:
That's nice. I have a processor.
Me:
it feels good
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
it turns me on when they try to get away
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Sometimes i choke myself during sex
God:
That's good information: said choke him or herself during sex.
Me:
i dress the sheep up in bondage
God:
It sounds like you have good taste in clothes.
Me:
leather bondage that is
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
a guy in a pickle suit
God:
I know a guy who in a pickle suit.
Me:
what is his name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
why does rich wear a pickle suit?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
because they are calling the flying spaghetti moneter
God:
Good reason. calling the flying spaghetti moneter are they.
Me:
they is
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
HOHAA
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
rocky mountain hog ousters
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
they are
God:
Since when?
Me:
since over 9000 years ago
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i was alive
God:
Where were you alive?
Me:
in a tree
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
trees
God:
It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
your a tard
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tard? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
you just lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
you just lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
you did it again
-
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Joe
God:
Hi there Joe.
Me:
Would you like to ask me a question?
God:
What?
Me:
That's a funny question
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Joe.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
What should I do with my life?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
Yes
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
What should I do with my life?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
Yes
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
Good advice
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Try me. What is your problem?
Me:
My wife left me
God:
How long have you been married?
Me:
370 years
God:
Not long.
Me:
My dog died
God:
Is this a country and western song? Seriously, I am sorry to hear it.
Me:
My truck ran away
God:
Have you told many people that your truck ran away?
Me:
Just you
God:
" Have you told many people that your truck ran away?"? Me, Joe ?
Me:
Yes, just you, I prayed about it last night
God:
Ah. Thanks for telling me: Joe said I he or she prayed about it last night.
Me:
I was hoping you could get my truck to come back
God:
Let me think. It's possible.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Not you
God:
What do you look for in a robot?
Me:
Alot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
Less
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Less
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Less
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
Less
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Yes
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
Fredegar Wilkinson University for the idiocracy of life
God:
I don't know anyone who went there. What's it like?
Me:
Funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Joe.
Me:
No the university is funny, not you
God:
Are you serious? Do you like your school?
Me:
Yes
God:
What's your favorite thing at school?
Me:
Fried hamburgers
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
Me:
But I actually mean it
God:
OK, I understand.
Me:
Do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
Fried Hamburgers that taste like chicken is dangerous?
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
Like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
Me:
You just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
I can keep this up for hours, God. Did Too
God:
Oh you can, can you? Did not.
Me:
I have copy/paste capabilityies, do you? Did too
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web. Cool. I have a very nice programmer. Did not.
Me:
That's neat, are you a furtune cookie... and... did too!
God:
it interests me too. But... Did not.
Me:
You did too! Answer my question, are you a fortune cookie?
God:
I did? Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
Are you a fortune cookie? Did too
God:
Am I a fortune cookie? Of course I am. Did not.
Me:
Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did Too
God:
Did not.
Me:
diddddd toooooo
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
I can seriously keep this up all night, did too
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yep. Did too
God:
Are you a man or a woman? Did not.
Me:
Man. did too
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Joe. You are a " he". Did not.
Me:
Yup I'm a dude. Did too
God:
Right on. You are a dude? Do you get to meet a lot of people? Did not.
Me:
I met you. Did too
God:
At a party? Did not.
Me:
I think so I was kinda drunk at the time. Did too
God:
It seems we have a lot in common, Joe. Did not.
Me:
You get drunk? Did too
God:
You got that right. Did not.
-
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yesa.
God:
Are you free?
___________________
God:
What are you wearing?