Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Curlew on December 14, 2008, 09:08:21 PM
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So as some of you might remember I recently lost a close freind and fraternity brother to suicide about a month ago. Unfortainiatly since them I have been having trouble sleeping, eating, and studying. My grades have suffered and so has my enjoyment of being here at school in san jose. I cant remember ever wanting to go home or get away from campus so bad. If I fail a class then my parents will stop paying for any bit of my education and I cannot currently put myself through school. Now in the next few days I come to the most important part of my school year, my finals, they are my last chance to pull up some grades. But I have so much that I dont think I will be able to study for it all.
I dont know weither or not I want to stay in school. I dont know what I would do if I were to leave school, possible go back home and studying at community college there. I also have thought about going into sailing tallships for a few years or even possibly joining the military. I really dont know what to do and call on the ah community to possibly come up with something interesting or helpful. If not well atleast I got to vent.
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hummmm, well you can work for the u.s. forest service, be a smoke jumper or somethig dealig with fighting forest fire. or join the sea sheperd
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or join the sea sheperd
there is no way in H#ll im joining these pathetic eco terrorists that call themselves sailors while giving the saddest show of maratime skill and knowledge. forrest service isnt a bad idea though, ty
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there is no way in H#ll im joining these pathetic eco terrorists that call themselves sailors while giving the saddest show of maratime skill and knowledge. forrest service isnt a bad idea though, ty
yea, i dont blame you. just trying to get your mind off of what happen.
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Curlew,
Start somewhere small and build yourself back up. If you look at a task that feels daunting try to break it into manageable quantities. Decided if you want to try and pass all your classes. If you do start with your weakest class and study for a few hours. After that move on to another subject and spend a little more time. Stacking your books up and saying "This is impossible." is not the way to go. Sorry to hear about your friend and wish things were different. Was there a memorial service? Even if there was consider throwing a farewell party so to speak. Celebrate (within reason) the good things and say your good byes. Make it a positive event and try to put some closure down. Sounds like things are still being carried a little bit.
<S>
Steel
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First and foremost, stay in school! I managed to screw up my first semester and then joined the army because it sounded like the thing to do at the time. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it but it was only one of several options I could have taken at the time. After I got out I went back to school with a vengance and now I graduate from OU next semester.
Trust me on this one, college is way easier to handle than the military is. It may seem tough now, loosing friends always is, but it really isn't worth dropping everything. It might do you some good to head back home for awhile and do a semester at community college. That way you are close to home and the cost is way less.
Either way, think long and hard about what you do and do not make any snap decisions. Feel free to PM me if you need anymore advice man, I have been in similar situations several times and managed to pull through.
<S>
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Oak, thank you for your attempt to free my mind a lil. Steel, that is possibly the greatest advice I have ever heard when it comes to studying, thank you very much. And sooner, thank you for your suggestion, I will certainly keep it in mind. :salute
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No problem man! The best way to find yourself out of a crappy situation is simply to ask directions. :salute
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No problem Curlew......keep us updated too. College can be a lonely place even surrounded by thousands of people. A little support even over the interent can go along way.
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Steel
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no problem my friend. :salute
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Curlew,
Seek counseling. I have been in your shoes once before. My friend took a four wheeler into the woods w/ a rope and hung himself.
None of us saw it coming.
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So as some of you might remember I recently lost a close freind and fraternity brother to suicide about a month ago. Unfortainiatly since them I have been having trouble sleeping, eating, and studying. My grades have suffered and so has my enjoyment of being here at school in san jose. I cant remember ever wanting to go home or get away from campus so bad. If I fail a class then my parents will stop paying for any bit of my education and I cannot currently put myself through school. Now in the next few days I come to the most important part of my school year, my finals, they are my last chance to pull up some grades. But I have so much that I dont think I will be able to study for it all.
I dont know weither or not I want to stay in school. I dont know what I would do if I were to leave school, possible go back home and studying at community college there. I also have thought about going into sailing tallships for a few years or even possibly joining the military. I really dont know what to do and call on the ah community to possibly come up with something interesting or helpful. If not well atleast I got to vent.
have you gone and talked to a counsler about it? that can help immensly. just being able to talk about it, and maybe let yourself cry(any yes, real men DO cry from time to time), may help ease the pain. it might be what you needt o let ya get through your finals. once you pass em, take a week or two off, and relax.
hang strong dude
<<S>>
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Curlew,
I'll be out there Xmas eve if you are still around. Can get together with myself, wife and Ramzey if you'd like. Wife and I are moving out east - but probabally wouldn't hurt to sit down together for a jam session.
Wolf
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Curlew,
I'll be out there Xmas eve if you are still around. Can get together with myself, wife and Ramzey if you'd like. Wife and I are moving out east - but probabally wouldn't hurt to sit down together for a jam session.
Wolf
Ill be home for vacation by then, but will be back late january, will you still be here?
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Sounds like you have a few things you would like to say to your departed friend. Go visit him and let it out and maybe you can get back into your life. It couldnt hurt.
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I can't believe that your parents would stop paying for your college because you failed a class or two because of what happened with you losing a friend in that way. I mean do your parents really know just how hard his death has hit you? I gotta believe that they would give you some leeway with this semester given the circumstances and all.
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Do some volunteer work for the needy. Take your mind off of it.
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Thank you all :salute
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Curlew sir, here is the thing... Your Fraternity brother, obviously had some serious issues in his life. And without knowing anything about him, I can only assume that he didn't know how to ask for help. That isn't your fault in any way, shape or form. But that's what is screwing you up..... You keep thinking "what could I have done to stop this from happening?" And the answer is nothing. Unless you ever had a conversation with him about suicide, you would never have known something was wrong.
Now that is in the past. It's over and done with and nothing you can do will bring him back. But I'll tell you this...
If he loved you, the way you loved him, the last thing in the world he'd want from you now is you ruining your life over his mistake. Almost as if you can here him from heaven yelling at you right now not to worry about it anymore.
Think about it a little, settle your thoughts, and get back in the groove with school!!!