Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: oakranger on January 06, 2009, 02:07:43 PM
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IDIOT Number #ONE OF 2009
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Idiot Number Two of 2009
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys.
Idiot Number Three of 2009
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back t o Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Idiot Number Four of 2009 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that containedanother picture of some handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy......
Here's your sign.
Idiot Number Five of 2009
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
Idiot Number Seven of 2009
Kansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
Idiot Number Eight of 2009
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ) We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' Here's your sign.
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:rofl
Numbers 3 and 5 were my favorites I think...very quick thinking on behalf of both clerks.
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Idiot # 9 of 2009
guy posts on a internet forum proclaiming in the title and in the thread "idiots of 2009" when it should read "idiots of 2008" :rofl :rofl
Here's your sign!
sorry I couldn't resist :D
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:rofl
Maybe all this happened in 5 days? :)
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In that case I have the 2nd here's you sign for 2009.
I was paying my tab at the bar last night and handed the bartender (a guy who has known me for 3 years now) my debit card. Several other people were tabbing out as well so he had 3-4 cards at the register. As he's getting everyones tabs together he looks over at me and asks, "Hey Jason which one of these cards is yours?" to which I promptly replied, "The one with MY name on it. Here's your sign."
The bars owner who I was sitting next to got a big laugh :rofl
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Idiot # 9 of 2009
guy posts on a internet forum proclaiming in the title and in the thread "idiots of 2009" when it should read "idiots of 2008" :rofl :rofl
Here's your sign!
sorry I couldn't resist :D
I just got it from a friend on email.
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Where is 6?
found it--actually #5
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’ When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
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Where is 6?
:rofl damn i missed that one
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I just got it from a friend on email.
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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do some of you remember that guy who wanted to rob a bank...and screw up as well?
The plan: Walk into the bank, show everyone your pistol and scream "Stick`em up you motherf@&4§, this is a hold up!!!" Take the money and run.
How it realy went: walking to the bank, completly nervous, afraid of crewing it...entering the bank, showing everbody the pistol and screaming: "Hold`em up you motherstickers, this is an f**ck up!"
...my father told me this one 20 years ago. So that robbers sign must be very old... :)
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These are seem to be so ridiculous that they're fake. Especially numbers: 2, 3, 4, and 5.
Where's 6 at by the way, is it hidden in the text somewhere?
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Idiot #4 must be from 1909. A $40 dollar ticket?
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I will always remember the time I was watching a program on TV where they showed criminals doing the dumbest stuff and this one guy robbed a bank with no mask or any other means of concealing his identity. He proceeded across the street after completing the robbery and decided to stop directly across the street from the bank to count his money.
I guess by now it is obvious what happened next.
If not I'll give you a hint, he did not get a sign but a new shiny pair of bracelets.
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Idiot Number Two of 2009
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys.
This happened about 18 years ago....not last year. I have been with Boeing Everett for 25 years and knew one of the guys that were in the raft...he still works here.
I am asuming you meant "Idiots" of 2008....2009 not even a week old yet.
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I use to do a little bit of deer hunting. Joking, as we drove by a deer crossing sign, I said hey, let's try here.
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Awesome...... :rofl
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There was a guy who robbed a US Bank in Little Rock, AR iirc. Yep, missed the uniformed police officer that was sitting at a desk near the tellers. Three times.
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In that case I have the 2nd here's you sign for 2009.
I was paying my tab at the bar last night and handed the bartender (a guy who has known me for 3 years now) my debit card. Several other people were tabbing out as well so he had 3-4 cards at the register. As he's getting everyones tabs together he looks over at me and asks, "Hey Jason which one of these cards is yours?" to which I promptly replied, "The one with MY name on it. Here's your sign."
The bars owner who I was sitting next to got a big laugh :rofl
I had a guy run into me while sitting at a stop light once.
The cop came, did the usual procedure, etc and finished with the other guy first. He (the other guy) left and the cop came over to finish up with me.
When he was finished, he handed back all the paperwork to me............
INCLUDING THE OTHER GUY'S LICENSE, which BTW, indicated that he lived about 50 miles away!!
I calmly asked him if I may have my license back.
"I just gave it to you" was the reply I got.
My response? "FAIL"
The worst part was that I was leaving (getting on a plane) to go on vacation, THAT NIGHT !!
I don't know who needed the sign more, the other guy for not checking, or the cop.
(BTW the other driver and I looked nothing alike)
To his credit, the cop went and retrieved my license and delivered it top my doorstep, that evening. He also saw my equipment that I was loading up for one of my DJ's , and wound up hiring me to do his wedding later on that year.