Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: OOZ662 on June 04, 2009, 06:50:05 PM
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First off, I'd like to first acknowledge that I know this will all blow by in a little while. I'm simply asking about it here to put my mind toward something other than having a screaming fight with her.
Erika (the girl that used to be in my avatar) pulled yet another one today. We've been on and off quite a bit over the last four years, but over that time I thought we had become great friends underneath our relationship.
Within the last few weeks, we were having lots of issues and she decided it was time for a break (as I understood it, some time apart with intent to come back together). Sure, fine. I really don't have issues with her dating other guys any more. I'd probably go see other girls, too. We'd still be good friends.
Today was the day we had to bring all of our books back to school or else miss graduation, and I had still been using them. Quite a bit of weight and it was really hot out, including the fact that I wore rather warm clothes figuring I'd be getting rides like always. Being the knucklehead that I am, I left them on the floor this morning. I asked Erika if I could at least get a ride one way to pick them up and haul them back after school. She said sure, maybe we could go both ways. A period later, she yelled at me down the hall that we'd have to hurry up after school. Next, she interrupts my PreCalculus final to tell me that she's pretty much ditching me. Why? She has "stuff to do." What sort of stuff? Maybe I could ride along just one way and get out of your hair? "Just stuff." She then promptly left before I could reply. Knowing her, that simply means she's picked a new guy. Don't really care. Treating me like a baby and acting like one? Pisses me off. Completely ditching me? Pisses me off.
Now remember, we've been dating a solid two years out of the last 3.5 and have been good friends for the last few months. She later tells me that I have no right to know anything about this person. Now, I figure that as a friend, I ought to at least know who's taking my former place and why she feels that way. Instead, I've simply been knocked to the curb and told I don't have the right. (It makes me wonder if she's actually too embarrassed of him to tell me.)
So, my question. Is it justifiable that I'm so angry at her, or am I being selfish?
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Ooooh just wait til she's a few years older and has learned even more tricks to play with your head & heart. ;) Trust me, I'm an expert at the whole mind game bit. My recently ex girlfriend has a degree in head games. Long story short, she isn't telling you because she knows it will drive you crazy not knowing. That trick has been around for centuries. Obviously, if you are bringing it here, it's bothering you even if you say it doesn't. Your human. Of course it's gonna drive you bonkers. Best advice I can give is play the same game. Make it look like you don't give a damn, even if it's ripping your guts out. Not getting the reaction out of you that she wants will drive her crazy. Trust me lil bro, these kind of chitty mind games don't stop with adulthood. Not by a long shot. Learn to play the anti-game asap or she'll keep going with it. For some reason, women love to see their ex's suffer.
Disclaimer: Sorry to any female that reads this. It is my personal opinion brought from some really crappy experiences. I mean no offense to TxMom or any other who reads this.
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Justifiable, clingy it seems, but justifiable. :)
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Wait, are you a girl?
Either way, shes playing with your head. If you're that bothered by what happened, then her game is going straight for her.
-FYB
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Ooooh just wait til she's a few years older and has learned even more tricks to play with your head & heart. ;) Trust me, I'm an expert at the whole mind game bit. My recently ex girlfriend has a degree in head games. Long story short, she isn't telling you because she knows it will drive you crazy not knowing. That trick has been around for centuries. Obviously, if you are bringing it here, it's bothering you even if you say it doesn't. Your human. Of course it's gonna drive you bonkers. Best advice I can give is play the same game. Make it look like you don't give a damn, even if it's ripping your guts out. Not getting the reaction out of you that she wants will drive her crazy. Trust me lil bro, these kind of chitty mind games don't stop with adulthood. Not by a long shot. Learn to play the anti-game asap or she'll keep going with it. For some reason, women love to see their ex's suffer.
Disclaimer: Sorry to any female that reads this. It is my personal opinion brought from some really crappy experiences. I mean no offense to TxMom or any other who reads this.
No, I really don't give a rip if she's off with someone else. I was getting ready to as well. Thing is, I'd have waited past graduation (as Erika and I have to walk together) in order to keep this sort of situation away, then plainly told her who and why later.
My irritation comes from her being so secretive and treating me like a child, then turning around and calling me selfish and childish. Hence coming here and asking.
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Wait, are you a girl?
No, but I lack life experience, unlike you people. :D Hence.
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Don't worry, I'm only in 7th grade and going to 8th grade this year. Girls have a hardball side to them. You know how "curiosity killed the cat," expression is real common, well, the girl is the curiosity and the guy is the cat. Don't die... ;)
-FYB
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My irritation comes from her being so secretive and treating me like a child, then turning around and calling me selfish and childish.
These are defense tactics. Your inquiries have put her on the defense due to "shame", "embarrassment ", and just plain not knowing what to say or do in this type of situation. This is common behavior during the "transition period". Since it sounds like she left or at least you are both in consensus for the split, then all bets are off. There is no "cheating" or indiscretion because the intimate relationship is over. Those rules are gone. You are upset because she turned so quickly on you and your assumption that you were "just friends" is misplaced. I do agree that "head-games" can be an issue. Do NOT fall into that pit. Play it cool. Make it look like whatever she does or decides you would care less. As for the "friendship" part...don't hold your breath. She might see you as a threat to her new love interest for the time being. If need be, go your separate ways. See what happens.
Also, your feelings for her are apparent. This will make things difficult. Hang in there. 20 years from now you are gonna laugh at all this.
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Simple way to put it: Don't worry about it, move on. When a girl does something like that to me, and thinks shes getting to me I just laugh it off.
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Beat her about the head and shoulders with a wooden shoe, then go motorboat one of her friends. Always makes me feel better.
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Honestly I would tell her to shove off
I had something similiar happen to me some time ago. I got fed up with her doing crap like that and told her "bye." Things after that were so much easlier.
At your age, there is definately someone else out there.
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Honestly I would tell her to shove off
That was my last communication before this post was put up. :lol
Was simply looking for opinions on whether or not I was being selfish somehow. If I was, it'd be noted.
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Coming from a guy in his early 20's... No woman is worth the sweat. Too many ladies out there to let one get ya all bunched up. Enjoy your youth and your buddies and let that other stuff fall into place later!
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That was my last communication before this post was put up. :lol
Was simply looking for opinions on whether or not I was being selfish somehow. If I was, it'd be noted.
Nope your not being selfish at all :aok
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It's over, go find another lady to spend time with and do not ever have anything to do with the girl you were posting about. This ain't the end of the world and is likely to be a GOOD thing once you settle down.
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I'm not even upset at all any more and am continuing along with the plans I had before, except I'm not waiting until after we graduate like I was going to. All's well on my side; I've been tired of her games for quite a while now. She's beginning to show signs of freaking out due to her plan not working too, which makes it feel all that much better.
It seems like she pulled all of this so I'd do what I've done in the past: argue with her until eventually everything was "fixed" with me coming out on the short end of the relationship. The guy I'm 99% sure she's dating has been showing interest in her and she's been creeped out by him, but I suppose he was probably the easiest to grab and use in her quest to reinforce our relationship the way she wanted it.
Whoops.
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Erika who?? Forget her... lots o fish in the pond. Why waste time.
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:rofl :rofl :rofl sorry, cant help it!
RC
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For some reason, women love to see their ex's suffer.
QFTMFT Both of you aren't feeling great after the breakup, but for some reason, her way of making herself feel better is to make you feel miserabler.
Women will do whatever they can to make you suffer when it pleases them. Most recently from my experiences, my Ex-wife left me almost a year ago out of the blue (we were together for 8 years, married for 3). No warning, I just came home from work one Friday (two days after my birthday) to a "Dear John" and an empty apartment (the wench took my cat too). She took immeasurable pride in the first couple of weeks talking about the man she left me for because she thought I had no clue about who he was or where he came from... but then I realized I actually knew the guy because he was friends with a few of my friends and he preffered hanging out with that clique. Once that happened, it put the rain on her parade real quick because it ended up with me knowing more about that guy than she did (turns out my Ex was one of 4 women he was dating at the time :devil ), and then upon me getting in touch with those friends her boyfriend got "shutout from all of his good friends", in my Ex's words, and she _hates_ his other friends :t (eh, *shrug* not my fault my friends have no respect or tolerance for a guy like that *evil grin*).
Just hang in there and dont get sucked into their games... karma is the grand equalizer.
Disclaimer: Sorry to any female that reads this. It is my personal opinion brought from some really crappy experiences. I mean no offense to TxMom or any other who reads this.
Ditto. No disrespect towards the few good ones out there.
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Just stare at Spikes avatar for a few minutes. Pretty soon you'll be thinking "Erika who?"
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Since you are young and able to be caught early. Stay away from the high maintenance ones while you still have a chance. While you still have your sanity, and your wallet!
Keep no time for bimbos (not meaning her, I mean later down the road) and keep less time for those that want your location 24/7 and make your plans for you.
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I've basically had the same type of relationship as you for the last 4 years(4 years this August), we've been on & off the whole time, together probably 2 1/2 of those years(were together right now), personally when we were off I couldn't be friends with her, I would never had been able to see her with another guy, or heard her talk about another guy. We're really good friends when were together, she was & is my best friend, but seeing her with someone else would be to much to handle, maybe she feels the same way with you, that she just couldn't see you with another person, or she doesn't want to put you in that situation of you seeing her with another guy.
Woman do love to play head games with guys though, it's like a sport to them.
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1. Dude, you can't be friends with your Ex.
2. Start chasing tail.
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1. Dude, you can't be friends with your Ex.
2. Start chasing tail.
QFT
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"Revenge is a dish best served cold." -Old Klingon Proverb.
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"Revenge is a dish best served cold." -Old Klingon Proverb.
Isn't that kaplaa is a dish best served cold. :D
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Gagh is a dish best served live. :lol
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Do what I did back in my early youth days. Bang her best friend,her sister if she has one, and let her see you with a smokin hottie. Works like a charm.
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Disclaimer: Sorry to any female that reads this. It is my personal opinion brought from some really crappy experiences. I mean no offense to TxMom or any other who reads this.
Oh, no offense taken at all; unfortunately I agree with you. Even the nicest of women can be vile to the people who care about them the most.
That "lets be friends" in between other guys routine is a bunch of crap. That could mean that they don't want to be alone, so in between times they're with other people they use you as a fall-back. I'd kick that gal to the curb. Even when she comes back I'd resist the temptation to get back with her. Let her string someone else along instead.
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Ditch the chick, move on. One down, millions to go.
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Bang her best friend,her sister if she has one, and let her see you with a smokin hottie. Works like a charm.
Unfortunately, she just recently dumped off all of her freinds (like a few days before me) and she only has a little emo brother.
One of her Ex-friends is extremely hot, but isn't one for dating. A shame, really.
So, very long story short, I found much more evidence to support that she did it for the sheer point of manipulation. The guy she's dating is the guy that she pretty much hates, but she knows I hate him more. Quite obviously, her plan was to leave me for him, get me to fight with her about it for a while, then when she "gave in" and we got back together, she'd restructure the relationship the way she wanted it without regard for me. She's done it a couple times in the past that were much less severe.
I'm sure when she moved to Phase 2 by starting up the scrap (that was supposed to end with us being all lovey makeup-sexy) and the reply was "f* off," she freaked out. Called up my mom (who's close to her) and said that it's my job to apologize or else things are over between us (read: Oh no, it didn't work, guilt him!). She's been sitting here on IM flashing her status back and forth as if to say, "I'm here! Come apologize!" for the past couple days.
I think it's starting to sink in that I stopped giving a care.
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Instead of giving her the FO, you should of said you wished them wonderful and happy life together. Then stop responding to her for a few days. Then when you do talk, continue to be nice, but cut her off short, saying you got go do some stuff.
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I wouldn't even want to hint at them having a happy life together. Not only because I was angry with her, but also because I could never wish him a happy life.
Seriously, worst guy on the planet.
Hence why I know she did it on purpose. :lol
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LOL, I know the feeling all to well.
She doesn't want a life with him either. Hence, the reason you tell her that. It shows her you're thinking about moving on with your life without her.
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hahahahaha i gotta say im proud of you bro, to repeat what everyone else is saying, go chase some tail bro, let her chill out and learn her lesson, when she finally gives in that she was manipulating and comes to appologize to you then point it all out to her, and if she really truely cares then roll with it again, and tell her if she ever tries this crap again to forget it, or you could just go get frisky with other fine ladies :rock
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I find it rather hilarious that only now that I've broken 18 will people tell me to go get laid. :lol People used to keep quiet about that...
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No, but I lack life experience, unlike you people. :D Hence.
You want advice based on life experience?
Bail, Now! Do not pass go Do not collect $200.
Stay friends if you can.(But dont count on it) But do NOT pursue this relationship any further regardless of what your noodle and your heart may tell you.
People dont change all that much as they get older..other then being an older version of the same person. So if your experiencing aggravation do to games now. Its only going to be more of the same later.
Why commit yourself to a life of headaches?
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First off, I'd like to first acknowledge that I know this will all blow by in a little while. I'm simply asking about it here to put my mind toward something other than having a screaming fight with her.
Erika (the girl that used to be in my avatar) pulled yet another one today. We've been on and off quite a bit over the last four years, but over that time I thought we had become great friends underneath our relationship.
Within the last few weeks, we were having lots of issues and she decided it was time for a break (as I understood it, some time apart with intent to come back together). Sure, fine. I really don't have issues with her dating other guys any more. I'd probably go see other girls, too. We'd still be good friends.
Today was the day we had to bring all of our books back to school or else miss graduation, and I had still been using them. Quite a bit of weight and it was really hot out, including the fact that I wore rather warm clothes figuring I'd be getting rides like always. Being the knucklehead that I am, I left them on the floor this morning. I asked Erika if I could at least get a ride one way to pick them up and haul them back after school. She said sure, maybe we could go both ways. A period later, she yelled at me down the hall that we'd have to hurry up after school. Next, she interrupts my PreCalculus final to tell me that she's pretty much ditching me. Why? She has "stuff to do." What sort of stuff? Maybe I could ride along just one way and get out of your hair? "Just stuff." She then promptly left before I could reply. Knowing her, that simply means she's picked a new guy. Don't really care. Treating me like a baby and acting like one? Pisses me off. Completely ditching me? Pisses me off.
Now remember, we've been dating a solid two years out of the last 3.5 and have been good friends for the last few months. She later tells me that I have no right to know anything about this person. Now, I figure that as a friend, I ought to at least know who's taking my former place and why she feels that way. Instead, I've simply been knocked to the curb and told I don't have the right. (It makes me wonder if she's actually too embarrassed of him to tell me.)
So, my question. Is it justifiable that I'm so angry at her, or am I being selfish?
Huh, I was in your situation in December, except it was like "stay out of my life". And then, in January "I want you in my life" then, 3 weeks ago "stay out of my life" First time it was her who did it, 2nd it was me.
"Call me back when word is that she's gone. Cat-like-thief she stole air from my lungs."
Little rhyme from a song that really described the girl I was involved with.
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I find it rather hilarious that only now that I've broken 18 will people tell me to go get laid. :lol People used to keep quiet about that...
Probably because its considered inappropriate for adults to tell children to go get laid.
With this chick you can be either the master or the submissive.Sounds like her dominance is the position she is striving for. Its your choice. If you decide to keep nailing this chick, Do so on your own terms. Not hers. She owes you the apology.
I'll give you the same advice about women my wife recently gave my sons friend who was having woman problems "Whatever you do. Dont give up your balls"
This holds true with any woman. If you do. you may have her but she wont respect you because regardless of all this "empowerment of women" crap. Most women still want to be made to feel like a woman in their personal relationships. Now this does NOT mean you have to act like an A hole. But it does mean you need to be strong emotionally and not put up with her crap and game playing.
You want to throw this chick for a loop? IM her and tell her SHE is the one that owes you the apology. Not the other way around. And your not really interested in dealing with her or hearing from her until she does Plain and simple. Whatever you do dont argue about it.DONT show any anger at all. Dont even respond to her arguments. Ignore them.
She will either give up and go away. Or she will apologise. Either way. you win.
She'll apologize though. trust me. particularly if you ignore her. Then when she does. Proceed on your own terms in whichever direction you want. or not at all.
Either way. Your in control. its YOUR choice.
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:rofl :rofl :rofl this IS funny....
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I find it rather hilarious that only now that I've broken 18 will people tell me to go get laid. :lol People used to keep quiet about that...
I'd tell you that if you were 12.
No better way to replace your old problems with new ones than a random hookup! :aok
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I find it rather hilarious that only now that I've broken 18 will people tell me to go get laid. :lol People used to keep quiet about that...
Well now you're legally responsible enough for anything that can be interpreted as child porn on your own computer. You're also now considered an adult.
You mentioned a friend who's extremely hot AND not fit for dating? You just found yourself a tutor and you'll like what she has to teach you! The best part is you won't have to take her out to butter her up and she'll still ride you like an attention starved cowgirl.
Or as my good ladyfriend says to the guys in her life who get dumped on by women:
"DTB" = Ditch the B1tch.
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Lotsa decent opinions/advice. Here's mine derived from experience: ditch the "split-tail", stop wasting time, millions of "birds" in this here world. Matter-of-fact, at your age you really should have a "flock" of `em. ;)
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You mentioned a friend who's extremely hot AND not fit for dating? You just found yourself a tutor and you'll like what she has to teach you! The best part is you won't have to take her out to butter her up and she'll still ride you like an attention starved cowgirl.
Trust me, I'd be at that if I could but not only is she movong away for college, but she won't date anybody for various reasons. I'd spend a hell of a lot more time convinving her to date in the first place, much less to date me.
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Just keep basically ignoring her, this way if she truly does want a relationship with you she'll be the one crawling back to you apologizing, and if you take her back you'll have the upper hand in the relationship.
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Dude...don't waste your time...I know 4 years seems like a long time to you(which arguably is a long bellybutton time in high school) but just wait until you get to college and have fights with girls that think they're your girlfriend after 3 days :O There is no consoling a drunk, one-armed, history major in the middle of a bar. NONE. Or so I hear...
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How about a six foot football-build Computer Technology/Engineering student? :D
I doubt I'll be a bar-jockey anyway.
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So do you still love her, and want to have a relationship with her again, or have you reached the point that your done and theres absolutely no going back?
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From a logical standpoint, there really isn't any point. Long distance relationships wouldn't work for either of us (which she proved when she went on a two week "math camp" and sexually cheated on me in the first three days BEFORE dumping me over the phone on the fifth).
From an emotional standpoint, I'd be overjoyed if everything went back to the way it went for the first six months. I don't really ever see that happening, and I'm fine with that.
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Yeah, I'd have to say if she could cheat on you after being away from you for just 3 days at math camp, then there's a very good chance she'll do it when she's off to college, she's gonna be living on her own and doing a lot of partying, and once a cheat, always a cheat. You'll be better off just making a complete break from her, and I'm sure you wont have any trouble finding someone else.
I'm not sure if she was, but your first love is always the hardest to get over.
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I doubt I'll be a bar-jockey anyway.
My advice to you, is to start drinking heavily.
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Well, your advice so far hasn't exactly been suitable... :D
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Well, your advice so far hasn't exactly been suitable... :D
Kids these days- so little knowledge of the classics...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYqnoULgD30
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Oh, I've seen that a few times. Own a VHS of it, actually. Just don't know it THAT well. :D
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(which she proved when she went on a two week "math camp" and sexually cheated on me in the first three days BEFORE dumping me over the phone on the fifth).
Damn, for some reason I had a different image in mind of math camp. I like this new one a lot better.
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Oh yeah, post high-school Advanced Geometry is hawt. :lol
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Yeah sex & math camp aren't two things you'd usually associate with each other.
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As I heard it, they were one of three "pairs" in the math section. It was Stanford's on-campus EPGY program, so there were camps of every subject going on.
Must've been an orgyfest.
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I doubt I'll be a bar-jockey anyway.
: :) :D :lol :rofl...yea right
Good luck with that. :lol
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sounds like she spreads like peanutbutter... per the whole mathcamp deal. ****** dont change... run.
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After reading more of the story one can only draw one conclusion.
Dude your her "fallback". Meaning if there aint nothing better going on she has you to fallback on.
Flush her like a bad turd and move on.
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After reading more of the story one can only draw one conclusion.
Dude your her "fallback". Meaning if there aint nothing better going on she has you to fallback on.
Flush her like a bad turd and move on.
Werd.
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OOZ,
I've known you and have known about Erica in past discussions.
Move on. She is going to pull this crap again no matter what you do. Move forward and do not look back.
<<S>>
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You may have missed the updates, RATT. :D
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I wouldn't doubt it LOL!
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Beat her about the head and shoulders with a wooden shoe, then go motorboat one of her friends. Always makes me feel better.
just wondering if motorboat is a product of the profanity filter?
OOZ move on these guys have given you a bit of wisdom take it in. Most of us older guys have seen our fair share of crap and can spot it a mile off. I think you will find a general consensus of crap spotted.
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just wondering if motorboat is a product of the profanity filter?
No, go watch Wedding Crashers and you'll get what it means, I don't think I would be allowed to describe it, even though it's nothing really bad.
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What always works for me:
Give them the cussin of there life telling them how pathetic they are trying to play mind games with you, make up a bunch of stuff, continue cussing ending with "just F*** off!" Results may vary, but usually followed by a phone call from parent to parent, but you continue on through your "chick list" and bang away!
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Parent to Parent has never been a factor. I think they've met once in four years.