Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: lefty320 on June 24, 2009, 09:26:32 AM
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The Darwin Awards
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught
on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.
*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!*** And They Breed !!!
:D
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:rofl :rofl i wish I could see video of some of those!!
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Just wow! :rofl
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Those are pretty good. It's a shame that some of the stories turn up to be false.
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You people have no compassion.
:t,
Wab
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Yeah, #7 is definitely fake. We have all seen that video.
I thought Darwin awards were only given to people who can no longer contribute to the gene pool.
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Old, old, OLD post. Seen these about a hundred times.
Not that they're still not funny, but just saying that these are OLD.
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Number 6 has been around for years as well
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very old......
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Guess I missed them before, thanks Lefty :aok
#4 :rofl
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Funny..but those are just stupid people jokes...A Darwin award can only be given who does something so dumb that it prevents them from procreating/living.
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My nomination:
Been posted here before. Bullet Proof Vest Test.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcqqQp-Z-zk&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcqqQp-Z-zk&feature=related)
Him and his buddies.
wrongway
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:rofl :rofl
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sigh... http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp
internet reruns suck.
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It can't be a current list without David Carradine on it.
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There was one that happened in Tucson just yesterday.
An off duty Officer driving his own car stopped to help what looked to be a stranded group of folks whose car had died. While talking to then he noticed they were acting kind of suspicious as one kept trying to get in the Officers car. He tried to call for backup on his own radio and the suspect knocked the radio out of his hand, punched the Officer and then pulled a gun on him. They fought and the suspect was able to keep his gun and back away from the Officer who then drew his own weapon and shot the carjacker. Dead carjacker with a history of car theft, assaults and weapon misconduct charges. The other 3 folks were detained at the scene. It turns out the suspects gun was one of those BB guns that looks just like a semi automatic pistol.