Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Anaxogoras on October 09, 2009, 06:52:00 PM
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These are hilarious:
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3522/3996157849_c5ebb448a1.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2554/3996157857_b954e27cea.jpg)
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3518/3996157861_610c1087b9.jpg)
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3510/3996918666_049449424e.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2625/3996157877_0b7efba500.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2588/3996918682_76fe5ee22b.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2596/3996918700_f78c625abb.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2488/3996157917_f3dc210243.jpg)
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2670/3996918712_bdef722738.jpg)
I think I'd have to give a similar answer to the ocean liner question. :confused:
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These are hilarious:
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.7&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.1&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.5&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.2&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.4&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.3&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.3&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.4&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.8&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.5&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.6&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.6&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.9&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.7&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.2&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.8&zw)
(http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=c47e776597&view=att&th=1243baf1e2677ee9&attid=0.1&disp=emb&realattid=0.1.9&zw)
I think I'd have to give a similar answer to the ocean liner question. :confused:
It appears as if you're trying to link those directly from your email.. That's not going to work.. You need to upload them somewhere else.. Can't host them from your own email account..
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Doh, I wasn't sure if it would work or not. I did a preview and it showed up. Hang on I'll host them at flickr.
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:huh red X invasion *cough* joke *cough*
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(http://dasmuppets.com/public/Tec/pronoob.jpg)
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(http://www.blackroses.com/~skip/tower/mphtower.com/videos/funny_essay.gif)
ack-ack
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Anaxogoras thank you, those are the funniest things I have seen in a while.
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LOL. The check to Verizon is from xkcd. I think xkcd is my favorite website, absolute brilliance.
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Classics. :aok
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LOL. The check to Verizon is from xkcd. I think xkcd is my favorite website, absolute brilliance.
Yes, we all love Randall.
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Love this one....
(http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad275/SoulTakr_pics/bnewc.jpg)
His professor sent him an e-mail the following day:
Dear Michael,
Every year I attempt to boost my students’ final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.
There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It’s as if you didn’t look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!
May God have mercy on your soul.
Sincerely,
Professor William Turner
P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C
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ACK Ack please, alittle less drama! :rofl
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Love this one....
(http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad275/SoulTakr_pics/bnewc.jpg)
His professor sent him an e-mail the following day:
Dear Michael,
Every year I attempt to boost my students’ final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.
There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It’s as if you didn’t look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!
May God have mercy on your soul.
Sincerely,
Professor William Turner
P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C
Lol, PWNED!
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El Nino FTW!~ :rofl
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I think I'd have to give a similar answer to the ocean liner question. :confused:
[/quote]
The ship is exothermic, not only is there no heat available to perform work (in this case moving the boat), but it is venting more heat than it takes in. Theoretically, given time it's drive mechanism would reach absolute zero and lose it's molecular bonds, and take the rest of the ship with it, through thermal transfer. (If we ignore the quantum energy limit, and place the ship in a vacuum, etc. Physicists like to do everything in a vacuum to avoid the real world getting in the way of their theories) If the ship is somehow managing to transfer some of the heat into motion, the effect will be even greater, making the formula more along the lines of Tt=(Ti=20'c(293 K)+Tm=Ev(Ce)) As best I can type it with this keyboard, and 30 years removed from the classroom :P (Basically add his calculation to the amount of energy needed to move the boat, with a constant to allow for the energy loss in the conversion of heat to velocity to arrive at the total heat loss per hour)
And here I thought I'd never use any of that stuff .....................
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I think I'd have to give a similar answer to the ocean liner question. :confused:
The ship is exothermic, not only is there no heat available to perform work (in this case moving the boat), but it is venting more heat than it takes in. Theoretically, given time it's drive mechanism would reach absolute zero and lose it's molecular bonds, and take the rest of the ship with it, through thermal transfer. (If we ignore the quantum energy limit, and place the ship in a vacuum, etc. Physicists like to do everything in a vacuum to avoid the real world getting in the way of their theories) If the ship is somehow managing to transfer some of the heat into motion, the effect will be even greater, making the formula more along the lines of Tt=(Ti=20'c(293 K)+Tm=Ev(Ce)) As best I can type it with this keyboard, and 30 years removed from the classroom :P (Basically add his calculation to the amount of energy needed to move the boat, with a constant to allow for the energy loss in the conversion of heat to velocity to arrive at the total heat loss per hour)
And here I thought I'd never use any of that stuff .....................
:confused: :huh
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(http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad275/SoulTakr_pics/bnewc.jpg)
I hope the "I.D. Number" isn't his SS#. That would be bad.
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(http://www.blackroses.com/~skip/tower/mphtower.com/videos/funny_essay.gif)
ack-ack
omg ACK ACK, el Nino.... :rofl :rofl :rofl
I'm wiping away tears I'm laughing so hard.
Thank you for that!
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(http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad275/SoulTakr_pics/bnewc.jpg)
I hope the "I.D. Number" isn't his SS#. That would be bad.
It's not.
shamus
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P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C
This may have to end up as sig material. :)
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(http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad275/SoulTakr_pics/bnewc.jpg)
I hope the "I.D. Number" isn't his SS#. That would be bad.
Most schools use student identification numbers assigned by the school.
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:lol good stuff.
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OMG Ack-Ack I think I spotted reading that today, :x is this from Al Gore's class he taught at Columbia? :noid
I did especially like the pro - noob answer, that kid got robbed, the teacher probably doesn't even own a television. :D
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I once took a test in an advanced electrical circuits class in undergrad school. I knew how to start the problem, and I new what the answer was supposed to look like, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the key steps in between. So, I wrote the first steps I remembered, then wrote the answer. In between I drew a large box and wrote inside of it, "Miracle occurs here!" I got 5 out of 10 points on the problem. :banana:
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That's like the the guy my father had to explain why his record player stopped working. He went through the whole deal of the real reason why it died and the guy had a :huh on his face. My pop finally just asked him if it smoked just before it quit working, the guy responded with a yes. Pops looked at him and said, "well that's the problem you let the magic smoke out, which is needed to make it work." Worst part is the guy understood that. :rolleyes: :uhoh
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i wonder what kind of smoke he tried to put into the thing :bolt:
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OMG, funny stuff. Ahhh, it is scary if one of these people will be responsible driving a multi-billion dollar CV.
What is really scary is this. There was a poll a while back that asked employers if they would hire anybody who cheated through out college course. A large number of these employers said yes, because that individual is striding to get a head of the competition. Them employers that said yes are those that work on stock trades.......... great job guys for the near economic crash last year.
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lol Gava I love you man! that stuff is hilarious !
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LOL. The check to Verizon is from xkcd. I think xkcd is my favorite website, absolute brilliance.
That check is one of my all-time favorties.
"What now ....." is such a nice touch as well.
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This is also entertaining:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change-of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand d proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over..
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
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This is also entertaining:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
These remind me of a story one of the guys at work has told many times. His uncle was a TV repairman and he worked part time for him as a kid and teenager. He said he didn't know how many times they went to houses to fix a TV only to find it wasn't plugged in. His uncle would laugh, write up the service ticket charging the person his normal service charge base price. When asked what his uncle would tell the people he said they would always receive a repair receipt with a service of, "Repaired disconnected A.C. Interlock." Nobody ever understood what that mean.
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LOL, that check's made out for ~$536.49
I hope that's not all for wireless! :D
Seen all those before, but they're still funny. Thanks for posting!
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My first real boss after college told us a story about his frat at Baylor calling a plumber. The tub wouldn't drain no matter how much Drano they used or how hard they plunged. Plumber shows up, reaches down, pulls up the plug, and writes the bill. :lol (Where are you now, Troy?)
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My first real boss after college told us a story about his frat at Baylor calling a plumber. The tub wouldn't drain no matter how much Drano they used or how hard they plunged. Plumber shows up, reaches down, pulls up the plug, and writes the bill. :lol (Where are you now, Troy?)
I had one like that in reality.
I was working for a computer rental place in the mid '90s. I am taking a very late lunch one day, about 4:30PM, when I get a call on the radio that they need me to come pick up a Macintosh and take it down to a Macys in San Jose. Now, our location was in Larkspur in Marin County, about 50-60 miles north of San Jose, with San Francisco in between us. They need me to do this in rush hour traffic, all overtime. I get back to the office about 4:45 and as I am loading up the computer they tell me what is going on, so far as they can tell. Earlier in the day another driver brought the Mac down to a makeup beautique in Macys so that they could run some software on it to demo makeup to customers. About an hour after the delivery guy left, they got a panicked call for one of the girls saying she had broken the computer. She was too hysterical for them to walk her through it over the phone and figure out what was wrong with it.
So I drive down there, takes about an hour and a half. When I get there I have a hunch as to what happened, so I leave the replacement Mac in the van and walk inside to look at the one there. I check the cables, they are good, so I press the power button and the Mac comes on, makes the happy Mac chime and seems fine. So I ask the girl what happened. She points at the power button on the upper left corner of the Mac's keyboard and says she pressed that key. I let her know that it was just the power button, that computers aren't that fragile and so on.
Once back outside I call on the radio and let my boss know that he just had me driver 120-140 miles and pay me three plus hours of overtime to come down and press the power button.
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Just PLEASE don't press the red power button behind the plastic switch cover on the iServer. :O
Open the first page of an IBM iServer or larger machine.
What's there?... CPR instructions. Care to guess why? :O
1) Those suckers draw some juice. Screw up messing around with the unit or under the floor and you might need CPR.
2) Just dare to power off the unit while the 'almost counting his days to retirement' senior operations manager is watching... One or both of you are going to need CPR.
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Pfft try to do any kind of work with shovels around underground 3 phase.
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When I worked for Wellstream, we had a 300 ton overhead crane that ran on 440 3 phase at 300 amps. We each took turns when it was time to switch it on, wearing a face shield and an electrician's glove. The first time they handed them to me, I thought they were pulling my leg, then I saw the switch..........