Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => Aces High General Discussion => Topic started by: Mister Fork on October 28, 2009, 01:29:27 PM
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Last night while I was flying, my wife came over to see what the commotion was about - the screen was looking like I was flying through a black fog bank with loud sounds of flak impacts and the odd crash of something breaking. We had an interesting conversation that sounded like a Gilmore Girls episode.
"What's all those black little clouds?" she asked
"Black death - flak"
"You know, that plane was probably flown by 19-20 year olds who were scared out of their wits."
"Japs"
"Fine, Japanese boys. Is the terror any different?"
"It's all about immersion"
I hopped into the bomb site to re-calibrate before my drop.
"What's this?"
"bombsite" (calibrating)
"are those the carriers?"
"Yep" At this point, my lead bomber explodes (it must of been on fire) and I'm suddenly in the next plane. You can see my former lead plane exploding with wing parts and other debris raining on the other planes in formation with loud bangs from the impacts.
"Did you just blow up?"
"My lead bomber did" - back into the bombsight.. Background is just crazy as the plane is being shaken like a toddler with a bug in a jar. I'm trying to calibrate but I just can't get a view because of the flak. I decide to change tactics and hop back into the pilot seat.
"Why are you diving?"
"Change of plans."
"Are you commiewazine..um... what do you call it?"
"Kamikaze - maybe. I can't get a clear shot to calibrate my bombsite. So we're now dive bombing."
Now all the ships in the CV group have opened up their lazer cannons on me, suddently, my right bomber explodes, in the message bar, states 1Duke1 shot me down for the 'second' time. Ruh roh - dukie's in the 5 inch. The first was no flak death. I should of been paying closer attention to the message bar
"Crap"
"What?"
"Dukes in the 5 inch."
"Who?"
"Duke" - I hear a loud smack from another 5" impact and switch to external view with the typical parts flying off sound
"your plane is missing part of your tail"
"I know" another smack and I bring up the damage list
"a lof of your systems are red. Is that bad?"
"Yes"
"Is this a now a Kamakzie dive?"
"Yes"
"Are those young boys in your plane going to die?"
"What?" - now I'm in a full fledged non-stop dive. I can hear the wings creaking.
"You know, the japanese boys flying your bomber? Oh, there goes a wing"
"I know"
"You're plane is falling apart"
"I know" - another smack from the 5".
"your plane is on fire"
"I know" - I'm off target and I know that I'm never going to hit with around 1500 feet left. I decide to eject
"Did you get thrown out of your plane?"
"No, I ejected"
"Like that?"
"Like that."
"Wow, that ship is big."
"Its an aircraft carrier."
"The one you were trying to bomb?"
"The one"
"So what do you do now?"
"Swim for home." - I land in the water
"You're funny. This game is boring. Oh look, is the carrier going to run you over?"
"Yep"
"I'm off to read a book. Enjoy the carrier being imprinted on your forehead"
Isn't this game AWESOME when our better half's nag us while we play? :x
:D
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :cheers: :cheers:
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lol! that is too funny.
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:rofl
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LOL!
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Classic. :airplane:
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We all should share those priceless conversations with the Wife! Too funny Fork! :rofl
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Absolutely great post!!!
Thanks for posting :rofl
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Very good. :aok
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My wife goes soaring with me frequently so I just tell her this is possibly about to be a 'PLB' moment. :devil
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Fantastic read. :rofl
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Why'd you need a clear site picture to calibrate your bombsite? :huh Just need to holy Y for half your life and it's good to go.
EDIT: Derp, I'm a tard who doesn't read thread titles. Nevermind.
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:lol
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"Are those young boys in your plane going to die?"
"What?"
:rofl :rofl
that nearly made me spit my Beer over the Laptop....
Great :aok
SF
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:airplane:LOL, YOU my friend , just summed up a night in a flyers life. somewhere, sometime, it happens EXACTLY like that. :rofl :rofl
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Lol!
"This game is boring." "I'm off to read a book."
Classic :lol
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:aok :rofl :rofl :rofl :aok :aok :aok
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Honestly, if your wife said any of that... She's awesome!
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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I got sick one night...and was in a Fighter sweep with the squad...I was going to throw up. (had been sick all day) and told the wife to come here quick.
She was like what?!!!
I need you to fly this thing Im going to be sick....She protested a few seconds and I told her just sit here and watch...Ill be back in a few.
Next thing I hear is the speakers going off with laughter as she is all over the place (took it off autopilot) and screaming over the vox saying..."What the hell....what do I do...help me he will be pissed if I crash....Dammit help me...."
I threw up and got my face washed and back to the computer just about the time she pulled the trigger...kill shot my plane all over the place and then got ticked at me for being sick!!!!!
It was halarious listening to her freak over everything and the squaddies laffing was just pricless.
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:lol Nice
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:rofl
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LOL too true.
I'd taken a hiatus before starting to play AH2, first day back went something like this:
"You're not playing that stupid game with those geeks again are you?!"
Nope. That was WarBirds.
"What's this?"
Aces High 2. Different game, different geeks.
:D
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LMAO!!! Great thread!
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Too funny! :rofl :rofl :aok
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That was hilarious! :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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This is the best "after Action Report" I've read in years!!! :D
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(http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing017.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing021.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) :aok
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Kid ack is almost as good.
"daddy"
"WHAT?"
"Why are you flying backwards?"
"because they shot my plane!"
"The red guys?"
"YES THE RED GUYS!, SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN BED!"
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It's pretty hilarious after the fact when my niece sneaks into the office on me some times, reaches up from behind me, pulls the trigger firing all guns or hits the stick while I'm in the middle of something and takes off running. Of course I don't find it all that funny at the time but I have to laugh later.
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Mr Fork, women speak a different form of English than we do, sort of like feminine legalese.
After reading your transcript, I've come to the conclusion that what your wife was really saying was something akin to... "I have a vagina."
To which you replied, "HUH? I'm playing the game."
And of course she concluded with, "Me and my Vagina are going to go read a book."
I would anticipate wife ack soon, might want to to learn some evasive manuevers and stick stirring techniques, sounds like you're going to need them soon. :lol
-Twitchy
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Mr Fork, women speak a different form of English than we do, sort of like feminine legalese.
After reading your transcript, I've come to the conclusion that what your wife was really saying was something akin to... "I have a vagina."
To which you replied, "HUH? I'm playing the game."
And of course she concluded with, "Me and my Vagina are going to go read a book."
I would anticipate wife ack soon, might want to to learn some evasive manuevers and stick stirring techniques, sounds like you're going to need them soon. :lol
-Twitchy
In that case he may be stick stirring alot if he has nowhere to land.
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Her Lioness :furious never understood the joy to be gained from online combat flying - so I divorced her.
:cool:
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In that case he may be stick stirring alot if he has nowhere to land.
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Great story! Unfortunately, my wife uses my flight time to create "agreed" upon to-do lists...something like this (I have on headphones):
"Zero7, check the Tempy...its comin up fast"
"That's right, our anniv IS comin up fast...I would like a new minivan so I will go pick it out"
"Roger that...thats a great move" (Zero7 cleared the Tempy with a barrel roll)
"I have ordered a new VISA card too...with a 15K credit limit...I hope you don't mind"
"I got it....its a bit high for me....can you take care of it?" (talking to TnDep seeing a NIK at 12K)
"Sure honey, I will be glad to have the credit line decreased...what do you think, ten thousand?"
"Im thinkin 8K.....we've got more options there" (While telling MUZIK that the two 51D's inbound will be out of E comin up at us from 12 oclock low)
"Honey, one last thing...my parents are comin into town for Thanksgiving...they will need our bed so we will sleep in the other room ok?"
"Geezus tapdancin c**rist.....I'm gettin roped!! Little help here please????" (raising my voice at 87Gunny, Rowdy1, Etec, xxxJCxxx, Crow, and Thrash99 as they watch me getting hung up by Klipper and TA57x)
"HONEY!! THAT IS SOOO RUDE!! THOSE ARE MY PARENTS AND THEY ARE ENTITLED TO A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP WHILE THEY ARE HERE!!!"
Putting down my headphones while my wife is walking out of the study
"Honey....what?"
"Remember, don't say we didn't talk about this!"
Changeup sits there with his mouth open gawking at the doorway that used to have my wife standing in it....my daughter said mommy has a surprise for me when I get back in town today ...did I actually agree to those things?
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My wife just loves to sneak on me, while im in a middle of a fight,and then she just says (with a loud, deep voice) CHECK 6!!
I :furious when she does that...she loves it.
IENA
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I'll be diving out in my trusty 190A-5, Hmmm better check six, look back, holy crap, here comes ak-ak, screaming in at warp factor 7, evasive maneuver, he turns, all of a sudden..... ligts out, hand across eyes!.
"Honey I'm not bothering you am" i?!!
Get away from me, can't you see I'm busy!!
"your little cartoon friends can wait!"
but honey, ak-ak is gonna kill me!
"thats ok, you'll get a new plane! whats this button for?"
crap there goes the landing gear!, how many times i gotta tell you, leave the buttons alone! oh look, now im dead.
yeah so?? its not like its a real game or anything!
They come from Venus and they live among us!
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:rofl :rofl
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After one particularly long and exciting engagement where the advantage ebbed and flowed, and a despairingly hopeless situation was turned into glorious victory, I exclaimed loudly:
"WoooooHooooo!~ Yeeehaaaaa!~ ..... Damn!~ Getting that kill was better than SEX!~"
Life with my wife has never been the same. :cry
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She's a character aright and smarter than the average bear. Wifey also knows a bunch about aircraft - she's a flight attendant and has been flying for some time and knows more about Aces High than she would like to.
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:cheers: fantastic you should become a writer I almost felt like I was in the plane with you :lol
Last night while I was flying, my wife came over to see what the commotion was about - the screen was looking like I was flying through a black fog bank with loud sounds of flak impacts and the odd crash of something breaking. We had an interesting conversation that sounded like a Gilmore Girls episode.
"What's all those black little clouds?" she asked
"Black death - flak"
"You know, that plane was probably flown by 19-20 year olds who were scared out of their wits."
"Japs"
"Fine, Japanese boys. Is the terror any different?"
"It's all about immersion"
I hopped into the bomb site to re-calibrate before my drop.
"What's this?"
"bombsite" (calibrating)
"are those the carriers?"
"Yep" At this point, my lead bomber explodes (it must of been on fire) and I'm suddenly in the next plane. You can see my former lead plane exploding with wing parts and other debris raining on the other planes in formation with loud bangs from the impacts.
"Did you just blow up?"
"My lead bomber did" - back into the bombsight.. Background is just crazy as the plane is being shaken like a toddler with a bug in a jar. I'm trying to calibrate but I just can't get a view because of the flak. I decide to change tactics and hop back into the pilot seat.
"Why are you diving?"
"Change of plans."
"Are you commiewazine..um... what do you call it?"
"Kamikaze - maybe. I can't get a clear shot to calibrate my bombsite. So we're now dive bombing."
Now all the ships in the CV group have opened up their lazer cannons on me, suddently, my right bomber explodes, in the message bar, states 1Duke1 shot me down for the 'second' time. Ruh roh - dukie's in the 5 inch. The first was no flak death. I should of been paying closer attention to the message bar
"Crap"
"What?"
"Dukes in the 5 inch."
"Who?"
"Duke" - I hear a loud smack from another 5" impact and switch to external view with the typical parts flying off sound
"your plane is missing part of your tail"
"I know" another smack and I bring up the damage list
"a lof of your systems are red. Is that bad?"
"Yes"
"Is this a now a Kamakzie dive?"
"Yes"
"Are those young boys in your plane going to die?"
"What?" - now I'm in a full fledged non-stop dive. I can hear the wings creaking.
"You know, the japanese boys flying your bomber? Oh, there goes a wing"
"I know"
"You're plane is falling apart"
"I know" - another smack from the 5".
"your plane is on fire"
"I know" - I'm off target and I know that I'm never going to hit with around 1500 feet left. I decide to eject
"Did you get thrown out of your plane?"
"No, I ejected"
"Like that?"
"Like that."
"Wow, that ship is big."
"Its an aircraft carrier."
"The one you were trying to bomb?"
"The one"
"So what do you do now?"
"Swim for home." - I land in the water
"You're funny. This game is boring. Oh look, is the carrier going to run you over?"
"Yep"
"I'm off to read a book. Enjoy the carrier being imprinted on your forehead"
Isn't this game AWESOME when our better half's nag us while we play? :x
:D
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Classic now tell you wife that she can sleep in the other bed with her parents and get to :airplane: :cheers:
Great story! Unfortunately, my wife uses my flight time to create "agreed" upon to-do lists...something like this (I have on headphones):
"Zero7, check the Tempy...its comin up fast"
"That's right, our anniv IS comin up fast...I would like a new minivan so I will go pick it out"
"Roger that...thats a great move" (Zero7 cleared the Tempy with a barrel roll)
"I have ordered a new VISA card too...with a 15K credit limit...I hope you don't mind"
"I got it....its a bit high for me....can you take care of it?" (talking to TnDep seeing a NIK at 12K)
"Sure honey, I will be glad to have the credit line decreased...what do you think, ten thousand?"
"Im thinkin 8K.....we've got more options there" (While telling MUZIK that the two 51D's inbound will be out of E comin up at us from 12 oclock low)
"Honey, one last thing...my parents are comin into town for Thanksgiving...they will need our bed so we will sleep in the other room ok?"
"Geezus tapdancin c**rist.....I'm gettin roped!! Little help here please????" (raising my voice at 87Gunny, Rowdy1, Etec, xxxJCxxx, Crow, and Thrash99 as they watch me getting hung up by Klipper and TA57x)
"HONEY!! THAT IS SOOO RUDE!! THOSE ARE MY PARENTS AND THEY ARE ENTITLED TO A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP WHILE THEY ARE HERE!!!"
Putting down my headphones while my wife is walking out of the study
"Honey....what?"
"Remember, don't say we didn't talk about this!"
Changeup sits there with his mouth open gawking at the doorway that used to have my wife standing in it....my daughter said mommy has a surprise for me when I get back in town today ...did I actually agree to those things?
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lol thats hilarious. I flew til 130a.m. on Wed. night and Thursday morn. I get a text at 850 that says Change the cat litter please. I sent one back that said "You woke me up I'll remember that Sat. Cat litter changed" then I got another back that said "Quit being an bellybutton I didn't mean to wake you up". Glory Glory Glory :angel: Please help me :pray back to :airplane: and :joystick: and :O
My wife just loves to sneak on me, while im in a middle of a fight,and then she just says (with a loud, deep voice) CHECK 6!!
I :furious when she does that...she loves it.
IENA
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lol.. the women like to rip on us for this hobby. I dont care, ill still play. :D
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:lol
best post in years.....
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Very Funny!!!! I like the story a lot! :lol
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:cheers: LOL
Loved it! :)
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Best one I ever heard was 10bears in an FSO once... all I can say is his missus was under the desk :devil
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Your wife actually talks to you?
Mine sends in her pet cockatiel minion to crawl up my leg, onto the chair, up the armrest, then onto my shoulder. As soon as I start to engage, he starts screaming in my ear and running from side to side. I think he's trying to give me air gunnery instructions. :joystick:
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I laughed out loud while reading that. Good stuff, Fork. :aok
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Wow, that is some funny stuff. If you could have recorded that on video you would have a hit on youtube. :aok